He motions his head at the letter I left on the table, weighted down with the book I was reading before he arrived.
“Guess this isn’t real either.”
“Jackson Davis, did you read my personal letter?” Embarrassment flashes through me. Why hadn’t I noticed it earlier?
“Bit hard not to when it’s face up and in clear sight while I’m eating.”
He quirks his eyebrows at the letter. He does have a point, although it still feels like an invasion of privacy.
“It seems he’s got unfinished business. Do you feel the same?”
I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with my son. It feels like it should be reversed. Who is the parent in this relationship again?
“Rome is very special to me. I guess we really connected, but I’m not totally convinced it’s real. Also, I was quite adamant at the end, I couldn’t pursue a relationship because of his job. I’m not sure it’s smart to start something with a man like him.”
I watch him nod thoughtfully. “So let me understand this escort gig. He takes women out shows them a good time and provides sexual services if they want?”
I clear my throat as I just about die of embarrassment. I’ve always had a policy of being straight with my kids, but this is just a little too close to the bone. “Ahhh—yes—something like that.”
“Cool gig if you can get it! Where do I sign up?”
“Spoken like a true twenty-two year old,” I chastise.
“But seriously, Mum, he was obviously really cool or you would have ditched him straight-up. You don’t tolerate anyone who’s not genuine.”
“Rome is very cool, as you say. He’s very easy to be around. An excellent companion. And don’t you dare ask anymore probing questions, Jackson Raymond Davis, because I will not be answering.”
He puts his hands up in surrender. “Not going there, Mum. Uhhh-uhhh, no way. You’re old enough to figure all that out on your own. Besides, Chels already told me he’s a super stud.” I can see a spark of something occur to him, as a whole new wave of embarrassment crashes over me. “Although, it would be kind of cool to sit down and have a chat to this guy about his experiences. He must know all sorts of kinky tricks. Purely medical curiosity, of course.” The rotter has the audacity to wink at me again.
“You cheeky little-shit.” He just grins at me, and I can’t help but smile right back at him.
“You love me anyway!”
“You’re right, I do. God knows why sometimes.”
“It’s because I’m your first-born.”
“By a whole three minutes,” I remind him.
“Still makes me super awesome.”
“Yeah, pretty much,” I agree.
He leans over the table and pops a kiss on my cheek then looks out over the ocean for a few seconds.
“But seriously, Mum, if this guy makes you happy then go for it. Those other few guys you dated were losers.”
I cringe at the thought of the three different guys I accepted invitations for a “date” from in the last six months. God, it was awful. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. They had either been obsessed with my money or their ex’s. Understandably, I never saw any of them again. Looking back, this is probably also a reason I was more inclined to go along with Chelsea’s suggestion of Perfect Gentlemen. I couldn’t have done any worse! And I didn’t. I’d hit the jackpot—even if I had paid for his services.
I frown at him. “And you’d know this how…”
“Because—“
“Chels told you, right?” I finish for him.
“Yep.”
“Your sister has an entirely too big a mouth.”
“She said he was really cool. Treated you right.”
“I never really spoke to her about him, and I’m still trying to figure out how it is I’m having this conversation with my son.”
“Well, that’s all dirt I got from her. So, you can hardly blame me.”
I give him a dead-pan look. “Of course, you’re Mister Innocent. As innocent as driven snow.”
“I probably wouldn’t go quite that far, but I’m definitely innocent of way more crimes than Chels. You should totally blame her for me knowing all this.”
“You’re both hopeless, but I’m just going to remember you’re both nosey parkers because you love me.”
“We do.”
A few moments silence settles between us.
“You don’t think it’s a problem, he’s…well, you know?”
Jackson seems to weigh up the issue for a few seconds then looks me directly in the eye, so much like his father.
“Yeah, it’s definitely a problem if he’s intending to continue in that line of work and date you. If he’s prepared to give it up, that’s a whole different thing. Everyone has to earn a living. It’s kind of like if I decide to become an OB/GYN. I’m going to be looking at women’s lady parts all day. Not sure too many women are going to be cool with that. Neurosurgery is probably a better option, if I want to avoid my job creating relationship issues.”
Jackson makes an excellent point. Rome give up being an escort—this is not really a thought I’ve given much consideration too. Nor had he mentioned quitting as a possibility. Although in truth, I shied away from the whole discussion every time he tried to raise it with me. Was that what he intended to do? Or was it wishful thinking on my part? He’d been out of the game for six months when he took me on as a client. Did it mean something? Had he already been retired? I’m so confused and have so many gaps in my understanding of what is really between us.
“I don’t want to screw up, Jacko. It scares me so much.”
He nods slowly, understanding.
“Maybe it’s time you took some of your own advice.”
“What advice?” I ask, wondering what on earth he’s on about.
“Do you remember what you said to me when you dropped me off, my first day at boarding school?”
I thought back and recalled a frightened young boy, clinging to me but desperately trying not to look like it was the case. I can clearly remember the look on his face and the emotion I felt deep in my belly. The words though, they elude me.
“I remember the day, just not the words.”
“You told me, it was okay to be scared about new things. It wasn’t okay not to try because I was scared of something new. Seems to me, Mum, you need to remember your own little pep talk. This guy might not be the right one, but you’ll never know unless you try.”
And just like that, I realize I might be a little more successful than I’ve thought. Somehow, I’ve managed to create a son who is pretty damned amazing, if I did say so myself.
Chapter 25
Rome
“What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to pay my fucking bills?”
I’m fifteen minutes into what seems a never-ending conversation with Jayden. We’ve covered this topic at least twice before already.
I agreed to have a coffee with him, more out of the sense of responsibility and obligation I feel to him than anything else. The state he’s in at the moment makes him a liability to everyone, including himself.
“I’d start by quitting sniffing white powder up your nose. That shit is not only expensive, you’ll never make a good decision while you’re in its clutches.” Over the last couple of months, he’s also developed a nasty coke habit. He’s spiraling out of control, no two ways about it. Coke is definitely an evil bitch, and there’s no coming back from her clutches without a shitload of help. I’ve unfortunately seen what a coke habit can do more than once. Traders are notorious for it.
“And becoming an escort was such a great decision,” he throws at me, as if it is all my fault.
Maybe it is.
I was just trying to help—give him the opportunity to change his life. Just like Roxie had done for me.
“I gave you an opportunity when you had the ass out of your pants. A way to take quick advantage of what talents you had; you didn’t have to t
ake me up on the option. That was your choice. You’d still be doing well, and if you had done as I told you, you’d have a hell of a nest egg already and could walk away from the game. You didn’t, though.”
Jayden’s eyes narrow, and he’s not appreciating me reminding him of any of this. What else does he expect?
“You let money slide through your fingers on fast cars and now blow. That’s all on you. You’d still be doing fine, if you hadn’t become a greedy little shit who thought he knew better than to follow the rules.” It’s like I’m talking to a delinquent child, and in a lot of ways, Jayden is.
“The almighty Rome. The knower of all things and God’s gift to everything,” he snarls at me and turns his head as if to dismiss me.
How wrong he is. I knew enough to get my ass out of the mess I created for myself years ago with a hand from Roxie. But in the scheme of things, that’s about it. The last adult relationship I had was over ten years ago. Although, I’ve fucked more women than I can count, or ever had a chance of remembering, and got paid obscenely to do it. All part of the game.
A lot of guys would be envious, I know that for a fact. At the beginning, for me, it was about surviving, then it was about stashing money away for a rainy day. Then it became about building the agency to be the best it could be in the marketplace—number one. And now…there’s nothing more for me to achieve in this game. From where I sit, all the game has to offer now is further tarnishing of my soul.
A look across at Jayden and I realize Roxie is right, I’ve done all I can for him. He doesn’t want to be helped or to help himself for that matter.
I make a decision.
“Jayden, I’m going to make you an offer. It’s up to you whether you take it or not.” It is the last life line I’m throwing him.
He turns to look at me with narrowed eyes. “Come with me now and I’ll check you into rehab. You need to get off the coke before you can do anything else. I’ll pay for the rehab and then afterwards, I’ll help you find something else which works for you. But, I can’t and won’t help you if you don’t do the rehab.” I don’t think I can be fairer.
He gets up from the table, all full of anger and bluster. His chair topples backward and clangs loudly on the paved floor. Fortunately, there’s no other customers to disturb since it’s an off time of day and a little place in a suburb a couple away from my house. I chose a table in a back corner of the outdoor area, specifically for this reason. I could have bet money on the fact Jayden was going to create some sort of scene.
“Fuck you, man. I’m fine. I don’t have a problem. I don’t need anything from you.” He moves to storm off, but I catch his arm.
“Offer still stands, Jayden. You want help, reach out. Otherwise, good luck. I’m sorry it ended this way for you.”
He wrenches his arm away from me and hightails it out of there.
A few minutes later, I walk through the door to my home office, and I plonk myself in the front of the desk beside Roxie.
“Went that well, eh?”
“Yep. He’s added a nasty coke habit to his list of talents.” “I was pretty sure that’s what it was the other day. He’s fucked, then.”
“Definitely, until he gets his shit sorted. I offered to take him straight to rehab and pay for it. He refused.”
Roxie snorts her jaded amusement or is it disgust at the situation. “Don’t waste another thought or dime on him. You handed him another life line, and let me guess, he threw it straight in your face.”
“Pretty much,” I confirm.
She turns back to her computer screen shaking her head at the situation. I just sit there staring off into space, wondering if I should try again to help him.
“Don’t even think about it.”
I turn my attention to her. She’s still staring at her computer screen and punching numbers into the accounting program.
“What?”
“Don’t even think about going after him. He’s looked a gift horse in the mouth, twice. He doesn’t get a third go round.”
“But.”
“There are no buts, Rome. He shat all over you. There’s just some people you can’t help. You’ve offered. He’s refused. You keep chasing him and he’ll bring you down.”
Roxie’s a hard-hearted bitch with good reason. Life hasn’t always been kind to her, and she’s had to learn to survive—the hard way. She is right, though. Jayden’s in a destructive spiral. I’m not his family, and I’m not even his friend. I’ve been someone who could offer him an opportunity. I had. The timeframe of the opportunity has expired.
“I’m still going to call his brother and let him know what’s going on with him.”
She glares at me from her keyboard before rolling her eyes. “Fine, if you must. But that’s it. Nothing more, Rome. I don’t want to hear that little fucker’s name darken my day again. And that’s all I’m going to say on the subject. Now can we please move on to these accounts? I want to go over them with you before I send them out. The last of the monthly statements have come through.”
I let out a long sigh. The last thing I feel like is going through a bunch of accounts, but invoicing is all part of running a business.
I pull my chair over closer to the large monitor in front of her, and she pulls up the first account.
A few minutes later, Roxie pulls up the account for my time with Carlene. It’s the final payment for my services and an itemized list of all the expenses I had incurred against my credit cards.
Carlene.
My mind immediately jumps to wondering what she’s doing right now. Mid-morning her time, I mentally calculate, just like I do every time I think of her. Ever since I dropped her at the airport and we said our goodbyes, I haven’t been able to shake her from my mind. There’s an ache where my heart should be, and I’m almost sure she took it home with her as a souvenir.
So often, I find myself wondering what she’s doing, I fear it’s going to become a habit. Quite probably my state of mind is pitiful and a lot of wishful thinking, but I can’t seem to help myself.
Reality—I miss her—terribly.
She was a client, Rome. Past tense. Doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself this, it doesn’t change how I felt then or now. I know in my missing heart, we could have had something special.
“Anything else you need me to add to the account?” Roxie prompts me back to the moment as she finishes adding another couple of line items.
I glance at the numbers and almost hurl.
What we had between us was more than some numbers on an account statement. What we had was more than a set of expenses to be reimbursed. It wasn’t business.
For almost two weeks, we’d been perfect.
There’s no way I’ll cheapen the perfection by bringing invoicing into the mix.
I push my chair away from in front of the screen. “Cancel the invoice and reimburse Carlene the original payment.”
Roxie casts a look my way that says she thinks I’ve grown another head. “Are you nuts? You’re talking thousands and thousands of dollars!”
“And I’m not hurting for cash.”
“That’s because you bill the clients for your time and expenses, Rome.”
I shake my head in defiance. “Not in this case, I don’t. It wasn’t work.”
Her eyes bore right through me; they see everything. “I told you, you went and fell in love with her. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it? Because for the last few weeks, you’ve done nothing but mope around here.”
“I’m not going to do anything about it, because she told me it wasn’t real. Besides, I haven’t heard squat from her.” The fact I’ve had nothing but radio silence from her grates on me. Hasn’t she found the letter?
Roxie rolls her chair back from her computer and folds her arms over her ample chest. She might technically be out of the game, but this doesn’t seem to stop her from showcasing her considerable assets.
“Rome, this has gone on long enough. I haven’t p
ushed because…ah fuck it! Just tell me what happened?”
“What’s there to tell? Oldest story in the book. I fell for the client, and I thought she did too…”
When I don’t go on, Roxie prompts me with a rolling motion of her hands. “And…”
“I guess she didn’t trust it was real.”
“And are you sure it was?”
I shrug, because I’m not sure I can voice how I feel. “I guess. I’ve never felt like this before with a client.”
Her eyes narrow, and she looks skeptical. “It wasn’t just because you hadn’t been in the game for months and it was exciting?”
“No, of course not.”
“You sure?”
“Yeeeessss!” I seethe through gritted teeth. “I know how my junk works and what gets me going, for God’s sake, but it was way more than just sex. I really enjoyed spending time with her. I wanted to spend more time with her. It wasn’t the least bit like work. I can’t stop thinking about her, no matter how much I try.”
She nods smugly. “Definitely sounds like love or the beginnings of it to me.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. I haven’t heard squat from her.”
“…And that hurts big time. I’m guessing.”
I reluctantly nod my head in confirmation.
“Call her.”
“She made it clear, besides I gave her a letter.”
Roxie flicks her eyes up to the heavens. “God, men are useless. How the male race has survived is a constant mystery to me. Call her, Rome.”
“Doesn’t matter, even if I did. She said she couldn’t date me while I was working.”
A very unladylike snort rips from Rox. “Working. So that’s what you call it, these days? For the last six months, you’ve done nothing other than annoy me in the office. Then you take off for a couple of weeks with a client, and you fall in love with her. Then since you’ve been back, all you’ve done is mope and make this place look untidy with your loitering, like a love-sick fool.”
“I’m not in love with her.”
When With Rome (Perfect Gentlemen Book 1) Page 29