Still numb from the pain, I dressed my wound with my body on autopilot, and cleaned up my mess. Once the bathroom was cleaned, I walked out, grabbed my iPhone, and placed it in the dock of my radio. I opened up my Pandora app and selected the first station I saw. Krewella’s clubhouse mix flowed through the room and drowned my ears.
I went to my closet and pulled out my two duffle bags. Law said he wished that I would be accepting his offer, and join him, and I already knew I would follow him anywhere—especially, if Ocean would be going with us. I decided to get dressed first. The numbness of my cut was messing up my thought process. The last thing I needed was to have them walk in on me butt ass naked. I went to my dresser and grabbed a matching set of lingerie. Why I was picking out my nice underwear was beyond me, and I didn’t want to think about it. I moved to the next drawer and grabbed a pair of stretch denim leggings. I looked in the mirror and saw the bulge of my gauze patch over my cut. I ripped off the leggings and stuffed them back in the drawer. I walked into my closet and looked around frantically. I ran over to my jeans and skimmed through the selection. I’ve got to go shopping soon.
I grabbed my black skintight stretch jeans and pulled them on quickly. Now that my scars were covered, I calmed down. I went over to my tops and skimmed through those. Nothing caught my eye; I really was too much of a simple girl. I grabbed the red graphic tee that caught my eye finally. It had a pair of huge black lips on it. I put on some socks and grabbed my ankle high black and red converse sneakers. I could live in these sneakers. They were the best! Now that I was somewhat presentable, I went straight to packing. No way was I staying here by myself after meeting Ocean and Law. They were my new fix, and I knew I couldn’t live without them from this point forward. Even if that meant one day them finding out the horrible truths about me, and what I do to myself.
I shook away the thought and danced around the suite picking up and packing away what I needed. I let my spirits lift with the high tempo of the club music thrumming through my body. Completely packed with anything I would need for two days, I decided it would be best to check in with Dad. Clooney was probably meeting with the FBI by now regarding my whereabouts. I grabbed my duffle bags and walked into the office. I dropped them on the floor beside the chair, and I plopped down opening my mac. I opened my emails first and saw one from my dad. It was sort and sweat.
~ Kid, I just got a call from Lawrence. He filled me in on some details of what’s happening. I extended my hand of help to him and will be meeting with the both of you soon. Livie, once you get settled and start feeling better, please call.
Love you, kid.
Dad!
Love you too handsome. I closed the message and deleted the rest of the crap emails I’d received. I opened my iTunes application, grabbed my Beats headphones, and plugged them into the computer. I needed some new music on my phone and what better time to do it than now. I downloaded all the top 20, 40, 60, and 100 songs featured on iTunes. I moved one earmuff above my ear in case someone knocked on the door and sure enough, about five minutes later, I heard Law asking if he could come in. I didn’t even try to fight back the crazy smile that broke out on my face.
I could feel their eyes on me once they made their way into the office, but I ignored them for a little bit, trying to control my thoughts about Ocean. What happened between us earlier was something extremely new to me. Sure, I knew all about sex and sexual attraction… I was twenty-three, and all the secrets jumped out of the hat a long time ago. I knew that whatever was between me and Ocean was more than sexual attractions. It was raw, dangerous, and frightening. He seemed just as fucked up as I was. The same way he was seeing through me, I felt I was seeing through him, too. My cell phone chirped and it was a text from Law. He was right behind me, but oh well. I read it and immediately broke out with the giggles. That song was perfect for him, why hadn’t I thought about that one? When I got up to finally face them, I couldn’t dismiss the look Ocean was giving me.
The look told me that he knew something was off about me, and he wanted me to know that he noticed. Yes, this relationship was going to kill me. Law was just happy to have the bubbly happy Sunshine back and that was fine with me. When they left to take the bags down stairs, I grabbed my cell phone, walked into the bathroom, and just stared at my reflection. I packed everything I needed, but the few things that I really needed where tucked away in my medicine cabinet. I went to open the cabinet to take out a blade, but then thought better of it since we were flying. I didn’t need to get busted for carrying a razor in my bags. I could always buy more once I got to Boston.
My suite door opened and shut, and within seconds, Ocean was standing in the doorway of my bathroom. “Come on, Liv, we have to go.” He held out his hand and stared into my eyes. He wasn’t asking me to take it; he was demanding me to take his hand. He needed my touch as badly as I needed his, and I did not refuse him. I placed my small hand in his and let him lead me out of my suite and out to the lobby.
Chapter Twenty
Ocean
As soon as we stepped foot into Liv’s room, I knew something was off. I’d been in too many professional fights to dismiss the smell of fresh blood. The metallic smell of it in the air was something I could never forget. Law was fucking clueless, and I preferred he didn’t recognize it. He didn’t go through the same kind of trauma I did with Stormie, so it wasn’t the same. One look at Liv, and I wanted to grab her up off that goddamn chair and make her tell me what she’d done, but my heart told me to wait. She wasn’t going to hide from me forever, and she knew it. I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me. It was only a matter of time before she really cracked.
What she didn’t know was that I was going to be there for her when she did. She was mine the moment I laid eyes on here. I was willing to deal with my own demons to be with her, and I had some pretty fucked up demons. I couldn’t believe how calm she made me and how much I needed her touch in order to keep myself calm. When Law and Liv were hugging, I wanted to tackle them both and beat the crap out of Law. I would never kick his ass intentionally, so instead I stormed passed them, and picked up Liv’s bags and headed out the door.
I was tired, hungry, and I wanted Liv in my fucking arms. I tossed Liv’s bags in my Range and sat in the back with the trunk door open. Law came around the truck and rolled his eyes at me. “What the fuck was that look for?”
“I know you’re having a hard time with her but what’s going on between you two?” I shrugged my shoulder like a punk, because I didn’t want to talk about shit with Mr. Rogers over here. I knew he meant well and he saved my life once, but his go lucky attitude still made my skin crawl.
“I’m fine, man. Just worry about your own shit.”
“You know I don’t want to ask, but you are clean, right?” I jumped down and squared up with Law. The little shit was pissing me off.
“What do you want from me, Law? You called me asking me for my support, and I’m fucking standing here! For you, I dragged my sorry dysfunctional ass here! For you!” But he didn’t back down.
“I don’t want to start shit with you, Ocean, you know I don’t. I just want to make sure you’re dealing with your shit, man. That’s it.”
“I was dealing with my shit the only way I knew how pussy and vodka. Is that what you want to hear, Law? You want to hear after rehab that I got strung out on pussy and alcohol?”
“Like I said, Ocean, I don’t want to start a fight with you. You and Sunshine have something… I just want to make sure I don’t lose you both, man… I don’t mean to be a dick about it. You just got back, man.”
I was done with the conversation. I needed Liv.
“Where’s Liv? We should have left almost an hour ago; she has to eat before we get to the airport.”
“Go get her, and I’ll get the Range ready. I’ll be parked by the main doors.” I nodded at him, sprinted through the hotel double doors, and headed toward the elevators. When the doors flew open, I ran to the room door and scanned th
e key. I don’t know why I had to get to her, but I needed her with me before I flipped out.
The room was quiet, and I didn’t see her right away. When I saw her in the bathroom with the door open, staring in mirror my body went stiff. I knew that look—that internal struggle to do the right thing, while your body craved that high for something. She didn’t look like she was strung out on drugs, but there were worse things out there than drugs.
Thank god she took my hand when I offered it, because if not, I would have picked her miniature ass up and dragged her out. She almost looked relieved to see me, and that’s all it took for my heart to stop racing and my blood to cool down.
Law was waiting for us as he said, and looking at my watch, we had about forty minutes to get our asses to the airport to catch our flight. I pulled the back passenger door open, and she climbed in without a word. I wanted to climb in after her, but decided I needed my distance and closed her door. I climbed into the passenger seat, and Law took off. “Sunshine, we have to eat on the road, you mind?” Liv smiled and shook her head. Law pulled into the first McDonalds he spotted and went through the drive through.
I wasn’t hungry, but I knew I needed to eat. Both Law and I ordered two big mac meals because we ate like animals. Liv ordered a strawberry smoothie, chicken sandwich, four piece nuggets, and three chocolate cookies. She couldn’t stop laughing as she rambled off her order to Law when we got to the window, and it was nice to see her somewhat happy. I knew she wasn’t even close to happiness, but I liked to see her smile even if it didn’t reach her eyes.
***
The airport was pretty dead, and we got through security and baggage check without a hitch. As we walked toward our gate headed for Boston, Liv stopped short in front of me, and I ran into her back. I was too busy giving a grilling look to all the assholes who were checking her out to have notice that she had stopped too fast. “Not him again!” I heard her growl under her breath, and I looked up in the direction she was shaking her head. Walking toward us was a douche bag in a suit with a grin on his face. I didn’t know who he was, or how she knew him, but I wanted to bash his face into the wall for smiling at her like that. I elbowed Law and when he looked at me, he was pissed. Shit! As the douche approached, he stopped in front of Liv.
“Hey, beautiful, you decide to hire security just because of me?” “You don’t know when to stop, do you? Get lost before Law puts you on your ass again.”
Law laughed, and turned to me. “Our gate is up ahead. I’ll go check in our tickets. This guy’s an ass. She can handle him,” he said laughing as he walked off. I didn’t want her to handle him, or anyone else for that matter, that was my job.
“So you the lucky boyfriend, I take it?” I rolled my eyes.
“No, I’m much worse,” I said as I snaked my arm around her tiny waist pulling her body into me, and she relaxed her back against my chest. The asshole backed up, but kept his eyes on Liv.
“See you around, beautiful,” he said stepping aside. I let go of Liv and rammed my shoulder into the asshole, and he hit the wall behind him hard.
His face turned red, and I stepped forward because my fist was itching to hit something.
“Ocean, please, let’s go.” Liv wrapped one arm around my chest, and I looked down at her. The confidence that I saw in her eyes astounded me. I put my arm around her shoulders and held onto her as we both turned and walked away toward our gate.
Chapter Twenty-One
Livie
Seeing Ocean so worked up about that asshole made my blood run hot through my veins. He wasn’t just Ocean sexy as hell cousin of my Lawrence; he was Ocean, my protector, and so many other things. How this was happening to me, I had no idea. I went from never wanting a man’s touch or needing their affection to feeling as if I were going to die if he stayed away from me for too long. His mother named him appropriately, I thought to myself as we walked toward our gate, wrapped up in each other for support. He was dangerously calm one minute, and then went dark like the cold bottom of an ocean floor the next minute. Ocean was turning into my own personal rehab, and he didn’t even know it… or maybe he did.
When Law turned around and saw us approaching, I almost felt guilty for allowing Ocean to hold me so close. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes anymore, but he smiled at me anyway. “Everything cool?” He asked Ocean who just nodded back holding me tighter.
“We’re all set. Just have to wait for our gate to open. Should be in the next fifteen minutes or so.” I stared down at my converses as he spoke.
“Sunshine, can I talk to you for a sec?” I finally looked up to meet his eyes, and they were smiling at me. A good sign, I guessed. I tried to pull away from Ocean, but his grip didn’t budge. I placed my hand on his tight stomach, and I felt the chills run through his abs from my touch. He let go and walked over to the window seats without saying a word. I turned to Law and followed him over to the nearby wall where he kicked up a leg behind him and leaned back on it crossing his arms across his chest. Paul Walker looked so cute I could squeeze his cheeks, and I would have, but I didn’t Ocean going postal on anyone.
“What’s up, Law?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to see how you were holding up without kujo over there breathing down your neck,” he said laughing. “I’m not mad, Sunshine. You don’t have to feel guilty for feeling something for Ocean.” I looked into his blue eyes, and he looked happy despite the crap he had to deal with.
“So you’re not upset with me, then?”
“For what? For feeling something for someone? Just because that someone just so happens to be my certified conflicted cousin doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t change that you’re still my Sunshine. I told you that I needed you, and I do, but it’s not the same way Ocean needs you. I’m not stupid. I see how you two act around each other. It’s weird yeah… but it might be for the best.”
I jumped on him giving him a huge hug, and he belted out in laughter. I missed that carefree laugh, especially when he snorted. It was the cutest thing. He squeezed me tight and put me down.
“Are you sure this is a good thing? I mean with the studio opening once we get things figured out… you don’t think it would ruin things, do you?” He looked at Ocean who was slouched with his head hanging over the back of the seat with his eyes closed.
“I think it’s going to get ugly before it gets pretty, I can tell you that much, but either way we need you, Sunshine.” “I need you guys, too,” I admitted.
‘Flight 816 now boarding.’
Lawrence and I walked toward the gate, and Law whistled loud enough to wake up the entire airport. The look Ocean gave him when he opened his eyes was deadly, but it made me laugh because he looked all groggy and sleepy. The poor guy was running high on emotions since he got here. He stood up and stretched making his fitted t-shirt ride up his stomach and I saw three deep scars sewn deep into his skin. He caught me looking and narrowed his eyes at me. It wasn’t a threatening look, but it was intimidating. I quickly turned my head and followed behind Law who had just past the desk and was making his way onto the plane. I speed walked to catch up with Law, and once I did he motioned me to walk ahead of him, and I gladly did so.
The realization that I was actually on a plane started to settle into my brain as it processed my surroundings. I wasn’t afraid of flying, but I hadn’t been on a plane since I was eight or so, and a lot of shit has happened since then. I didn’t want to freak out again on my boys, but breathing was starting to become somewhat of a difficult task.
Law leaned his head against my ear from behind me. “You’re not afraid of flying, are you? I’m sorry, I should have asked you.”
“No, no I just haven’t been on a plane for a long time, but I’ll be fine.”
“What numbers are the seats?” I asked needing to sit down before the real panic kicked in. “Keep walking. They’re toward the back.”
I kept walking toward the back concentrating on my breathing. “Right there to your left.” Window
seats! I froze in the isle. “I take it you don’t want the window seat.”
“Nope all yours, if you want it.” I tried to sound calm, but instead I sounded like Minnie mouse.
“I’ll take the window seat. You can sit in the middle. You cool with that?” I nodded my head repeatedly as Law slid past me and took the window seat. He motioned for me to sit down, but my body refused to listen to my jumbled brain. The smell of spice and salt assaulted my senses, and Ocean came up behind me pressing his body into my back. “You could always sit in my lap,” he growled low in my ear, and I snapped out of my fear and took my seat. I heard him chuckle behind me while he took his seat next to me.
I leaned into Law and asked, “How long is the flight?”
“Maybe two and half to three hours, depends.” Oh, okay, that wasn’t that bad.
About twenty minutes later, the captain’s voice came over the speakers, and he introduced himself, followed by the flight attendant that ran through the emergency exits and rules of flying. I didn’t miss the way she was eyeing Law and Ocean, and it was irritating me that neither of them shied away from her lustful stares. I closed my eyes, and I let my head rest against my seat.
The captain announced take off, and I gripped the armrests with both hands so hard I was probably going to cramp up when I let go. At the same time, Law and Ocean put their large hands over mine and held me. It helped a little, but not enough. Take off was over before I knew it and the turbulence settled. I eased my grip on the armrest, and after a little while, Law removed his hand. I was expecting Ocean to do the same, but he didn’t. Instead, he closed his eyes and laid his seat back. Law was facing the window with his head laid back sideways on the seat, and he also had his eyes closed. Great! There was no way I was catching z’s on this plane.
I pulled down the DVD player on the back of the seat in front of me and reached for the headphones. Of course, I couldn’t completely reach them, because Ocean had my other hand trapped in his. I pulled gently trying to get my hand free when his eyes snapped open. I pointed to the headphones with my free hand, and he lifted his arm and pulled them down without needing to move any other body part. I hated being so short right now. He looked over at Law handing me the headphones, and then he laid back and crossed his arms across his chest as he closed his eyes again.
Oceans Collide Page 10