by JoAnn Durgin
“Without trying to be cruel or insensitive, it seems to me that Seth’s dad allowed himself to be a victim,” Caroline observed during one of her self-proclaimed “therapy” sessions with Liesel. When Liesel remained quiet after that statement, Caroline tried to explain. “I realize I don’t know the man, and I know it’s wrong to judge. I’m not trying to do that, but I’m being as objective and unbiased as I can. From what I’ve heard, after his acquittal, Seth’s dad stayed in the same town and he didn’t try very hard to reestablish his business. He allowed it to flounder instead of fighting for it.”
“You’re a very strong person,” Liesel said. “Like your dad and probably your mom in her own way. The short answer is that some people aren’t that strong, Caroline. Christian or not, they don’t know what to do when they’re beaten down.” Caroline could tell she’d carefully measured her words. They were heartfelt and said with the proper mindset and heart attitude. Her best friend could be blunt, but Liesel was also diplomatic, especially when she was trying to make a point. Like her mother.
“So they just give up?” Caroline shook her head, unable to fathom the idea.
“Yes, or they simply allow their dreams to die.”
“That’s so sad. And Seth’s mother?” Caroline asked, realizing she might be pushing the limits with that question and was thankful this discussion was with her best friend and not Seth. Seth was so close to his parents that he was most likely blinded to the truth. Just as she acknowledged she might wear blinders when it came to her own parents. “Like blinkers,” she murmured.
“Excuse me?” Confusion was apparent in Liesel’s tone.
“Racehorses wear blinkers. They’re blinders for a horse’s eyes during a race when he’s running to win.” Caroline smiled. “I know I’m being random, but I’m thinking how both Seth and I might be blinded because in some ways we’re viewing what happened between our fathers from their perspective. Sure, the trial impacted Seth as a teenager, but his primary perspective—and how he’s reacting now—is because he saw the effects on his dad. And I’m looking at it the way my dad would.”
“You’re probably right. I never thought about it that way,” Liesel said.
“Trainers use blinkers to keep the horse focused on what’s straight ahead and on winning the race instead of on distractions in the crowd or anywhere else on the track. That’s how my dad has always operated in the courtroom. Focused on what’s ahead and the ultimate goal of winning. I’ve been focused on my dad’s dedication to his job and Seth has dwelled on the hurt on his dad caused by my dad’s commitment to getting the job done.”
Neither one right nor wrong. Is that what you’re trying to tell me, Lord?
She’d like to share her insights with Seth, but would it matter?
Yes, it does matter. First of all, Seth was her friend. He was with Jenica, so anything else that might happen between them was in the Lord’s hands.
Caroline’s mind worked furiously as she worked on the final design for her mystery client. She glanced at the clock. After emailing preliminary designs back and forth a few times with the Boston jeweler, she’d obtained the client’s final approval. Her supplier of gemstones had called to let her know the pink amethysts were ready for pickup. The client had been very particular as to the size and number of stones but left the design completely up to her, which actually made the process much easier. A dream client in some respects.
Standing back from the work table, Caroline eyed the designs with a critical eye. The amethysts would work well in her design. The gemstones would be showcased beautifully but neither would they overwhelm the wearer. The design would be suitable for a woman with a long, slender neck as well as a woman with a shorter neck. Not an easy task. Achieving the desired effect had been challenging and tricky—especially not knowing the recipient’s size, height, or anything about her—but Caroline was satisfied she’d accomplished her ultimate goal.
Toby was expected soon and she needed to have the design ready for him. Twenty minutes later, Caroline handed the folder to him. “Here go you. Larry called, too. The amethysts are in and ready for pickup. We should be all set to go.”
Opening the folder, Toby whistled under his breath. “This one sure will be a challenge. Biggest challenge yet, but I’m looking forward to it.” He gave her a wide grin. “You’ve outdone yourself this time, Miss Caroline. Something tells me this design will be bringing you a lot more new clients. Once the ladies in Boston or wherever see this necklace, you’ll be in big demand.”
“Thanks, Toby. I appreciate your vote of confidence. Do you think you can get it made by early November? Is that too soon? The jeweler asked if we could have it ready by then if at all possible. I don’t want to push you since I know you also have a few more pieces to put together for the Harvest Festival.”
“Not a problem. I should be able to get them all done,” Toby said. “Did you ever find out anything more about your mystery client?”
“Nope.” Caroline shrugged and returned Toby’s infectious grin. “That’s the way they want it, and they’re paying a lot of money, so I need to honor their request. As I worked on the design, I tried to imagine the type of woman who’d wear this necklace. I’ll probably never know, but it sure is fun to imagine.”
~~♥~~
“Hey, Seth.”
Seth turned from studying the selections in the fruit aisle. “Toby. Hey man, how are you? What brings you over to the Oxford Hills?” The other man had a small basket hanging from his arm. “Are you coming here to the Oxford Hills now to do your grocery shopping?”
“Nah. I had a painting to deliver in town and my wife called and asked me to pick up a few things on my way back home. Nonperishable things, so I figured I’d check out the store here.”
“Do you need help finding anything?”
“No,” Toby said. “How are you and Miss Jenica doing these days?” Toby picked up a bunch of bananas and turned it in his hands as if inspecting them.
“We broke up.”
“Oh?” Toby certainly was thorough in his selection of bananas. “Sorry to hear that. You’re what, thirty now?”
“Yeah, and getting older by the minute.”
“Then you’ve got plenty of time to find a nice woman and settle down. I’m sure you have your pick of the local girls.”
“Most of them are bored by my talk of rocks and minerals. They don’t find them particularly exciting and can’t understand or share my enthusiasm.” Jenica, for one, looked on his projects more as a hobby than a paying job although she never minded introducing him as Dr. Barnes to anyone who’d listen. She’d been his date for the occasional school event or presentation where it was better if he had a date with him. The university’s department chair preferred a married professor to dissuade any coeds from any romantic fantasies. That amused Seth but he hadn’t been immune to the flirtations from a few overly eager students. He never acted on them, but he was a man, after all.
“Could be a girl who didn’t grow up in the area might better appreciate what you do.” The bananas must have passed Toby’s inspection because he finally dropped them in his basket.
“Perhaps.” Seth narrowed his gaze. Toby had a point to make but he might have to inspect more fruit before he made it. Any guy who could paint with such intricate detail and beauty definitely paid attention and noticed subtle nuances.
Toby glanced over the selection of apples. Picking up two MacIntosh apples, one red and one green, he put them in his basket. “This is the perfect season for these MacIntosh apples. They ripen up in September, you know.”
Seth didn’t know but he watched and listened with increasing fascination. Good thing he wasn’t in a hurry because he definitely wanted to hear what the man had to say.
“The MacIntosh has a tough, hardy skin but it’s tender on the inside. In my estimation, the perfect balance of tart and sweet.”
Seth expected the man to bite into the apple right then. “Did you know the MacIntosh is nicknamed The Gem
?”
Toby smiled. “Is that a fact? All this time, I didn’t know I had a gem right under my nose.”
“Toby, you couldn’t be more subtle if you hauled me over to Caroline’s house and pushed us together. From what I know, everyone in town’s expecting the same thing.”
“Yes, well,” the other man said as he selected more MacIntosh apples, both green and red, “I know you appreciate beauty with substance. And I know enough about Miss Caroline to know she’s got a real good heart and a whole lot of love to give to the right man. Provided that man opens his eyes and appreciates the beauty right in front of him.”
Seth laughed. “I love your directness. Have you got time for a cup of coffee?” An overwhelming urge to share with this man seized him. He figured if the Lord planted this man unexpectedly in his path today, He had his reasons. He nodded to the small coffee area of the grocery store. “Buy you a cup?”
“I’m sure you know about my dad’s trial.” Seth sat across from Toby a few minutes later. When Toby nodded, he continued. “Even after all these years, I’ve harbored bitterness in my heart for the prosecuting attorney in that trial.”
Toby raised a brow as he sipped his coffee. “Why’s that, do you suppose?”
Seth explained a bit more. But something was different this time. Significantly different. As he relayed the story, the bitterness slowly began to drain out of him, replaced by a new sense of peace. Amazing grace, indeed. The kind that only comes from a higher source of power than he had within himself. “After I first met Caroline, and then found out who her father was, I wrote her a letter and sent it to her parents’ home in Boston.”
“Ah, your version of a Dear John letter.”
“In a way, yes, but Caroline never got that letter. Then I took her up to Old Speck and mangled the situation by blasting her father all over again. She basically accused me of not being able to forgive him, slammed the door of the truck, and told me to have a nice life. I haven’t seen her since.” He frowned. “And I really can’t blame her.”
A slight smile upturned the corners of Toby’s mouth.
“I’m glad you find my life amusing,” Seth muttered, downing some of the bitter black coffee.
“I’m not laughing, son. I’m rejoicing.”
“Excuse me?” Leaning his elbow on the table, Seth stared at the other man.
“In everything you just told me about Caroline, what you’re telling me is that you love her.”
Seth squirmed on the chair. “I didn’t say I didn’t love her.”
“Let me tell you a little something about forgiveness,” Toby said.
“Please do. I could use prayer but some advice doesn’t hurt either.”
“Are you worried about what Caroline’s folks, and especially her dad, will say?”
“Yes and no. She doesn’t have the best relationship with them right now.”
“I see.” Toby’s brow creased. “And if you and Caroline get together, are you worried about what your folks will say?”
“Yes,” Seth said, “but we’ll deal with it when the time comes. My dad is wrapped up in caring for my mom. As you probably know, Mom has advanced dementia, so it’s not like I can have a meaningful conversation with her. Or him, for that matter.” His eyes misted with unexpected emotion. “In some ways, I don’t think my dad will have a problem with my feelings for Caroline even if he knows who her father is.” He shrugged. “He has no fight left in him, and in some ways, he’s a whole lot more forgiving than I am.”
Toby whistled under his breath. “Sounds like you and Caroline both have enough to handle.”
“We do, but Caroline’s strong enough to handle it.”
“You bet she is, son, and so are you. You know why? ’Cause you both look to the Lord for guidance. You’re both stubborn as anything but you try to do the right thing God’s way.”
Seth blew out a sigh. “I’ve prayed for years that the Lord might take this bitterness against Duncan Prescott away from me. So far, it hasn’t been working.”
Toby nodded. “Tell me what else you’ve prayed for and hoped the Lord would bless your efforts.”
“You mean about anything in my life? Mainly that I’d finish my education and then find a job in my field. Preferably one that I love.”
“And that’s worked out for you just fine, hasn’t it?”
“Yes,” Seth said, nodding slowly, wondering where Toby was headed with this thread. “I’ve been blessed.”
“Everything in its season, like those MacIntosh apples sitting in my basket over there.” Toby angled his head at the plastic basket with the bananas and bag of apples. “You studied hard to earn your degrees and you’ve proved you were worthy.”
Seth frowned. “Are you saying I’m not worthy of Caroline?”
“Not at all.” Chuckling under his breath, Toby fixed him with his gaze. “I’m saying that it sure seems to me the good Lord brought Caroline into your life to help you deal with this bitterness in your soul. The best way to deal with bitterness is to face it head on and find the blessing in it. Otherwise, it’s gonna stay deep down inside you and fester. And then it’ll grow like a cancer. Take me, for example. You might be surprised to know that I only have vision in one eye.”
Seth snapped up his head in surprise. “Wow. But you paint such beautiful works of art and now you’re making the jewelry for Caroline. How is that possible?”
“It’s possible because the Lord sharpened my other eye. I see lighting, depth, and color in a way most people never can. God used my weakness and He’s perfected it, but it’s not through anything I’ve done on my own. At first, I blamed God. Railed at him for robbing me of the joy I took in my painting. I was wrong but it took some time for me to see it. You see, son, God didn’t take away my ability to paint. My joy was still there. He might have readjusted a few things, but after everything was said and done, I ended up with a stronger talent than before. All without the sight in one eye. When I could finally see what He wanted me to learn, how could I blame Him for anything?”
Seth nodded and the beginnings of awareness stirred inside him.
“Now, think about our Caroline. That girl’s been hurting for a long time. From what she’s told me, her mother never showed her much love. Her father did what he could and she knows she’s loved, but their way of showing love is different. They live in a way most folks can’t imagine. Caroline thinks she disappointed her father by quitting law school, and that might be true. But my guess is he’s hurting, too, because he’s a father, and she rarely talks with him or goes home. Duncan Prescott is a fallible man, just like you and me. But if he raised a daughter like Caroline, then he can’t be all bad now, can he?”
“You’re right,” Seth said. “So, what you’re telling me is that I need to get over myself and forgive him.”
Toby smiled as he finished his coffee. “Now you’re talking. One of my favorite verses is in Ephesians. It goes like this: ‘Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.’”
Seth pondered the verse as Toby slowly rose to his feet. “I’ll be praying for you, Seth. Caroline’s still new in her faith but you and the Lord? You’ve got a strong history together.” With both hands on the table, Toby leaned closer. “Be an ambassador for Christ for that young lady and then help her be one to her family. Be her friend and show her how it’s done.” Retrieving his basket, Toby prepared to leave. “Give that sin and bitterness inside you over to Jesus, son. Let him handle what you can’t.”
“Thanks, Toby. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I appreciate you.”
The other man nodded. “Welcome. You know, I’m pretty sure Someone sent me in here today, and I’m not talking about my wife.” With a small salute and a grin, Toby departed.
Chapter 24
~~♥~~
When Bryc
e called the next week, Caroline told him the story of going to Old Speck. He’d heard all about Seth before, during, and since she’d left Boston. Probably heard more about Seth than he’d wanted to know.
“Sounds like your friends gave you the best advice,” he said after she’d finished her spiel. “That’s pretty wild that Dad prosecuted Seth’s father’s case, huh? Pretty unbelievable. Small world.”
“Right.” Caroline frowned as Bryce’s last two words unknowingly shot another arrow straight into her bruised heart. “Is that the best you can come up with? I was hoping you’d be able to lend some helpful male insight.”
As much as Caroline wanted to be a positive influence on her older brother and show him how having Christ in her life had changed her, it wasn’t working for her right now. Her attitude was pretty much flushed down the drain.
Sorry, Jesus. I’m not up to anything more right now. Besides, it was late on a Tuesday night, and she was tired. In love with a man who… How to finish that thought? But, no doubt about it, she loved Seth Barnes. Lord, what do I do now? Could she pass Seth on the street and pretend she felt nothing for him? See him sitting in Evergreen Community Church when he was in town and act like her life wasn’t falling apart? She couldn’t begin to think about Seth with Jenica. If she did, she’d want to throw something against the wall.
“Give the guy a break is all I’m saying,” Bryce said. “He needs some time to work it all out.”
“Bryson James, he’s only had two years plus to work it out since we met, and he’s had years to work out his anger toward Dad.”
“Not to change the subject, but do you still think Mother swiped that letter Seth mailed to you?”
“I honestly don’t think it even matters anymore.” With a grimace, Caroline pulled the ponytail holder from her hair and shook her head so that her hair tumbled down around her shoulders.