by Anne Hampson
A drink ... that would give her a small respite. She said she would like a cup of coffee.
‘Coffee? That’s to wake you up.’ He shook his head firmly. ‘I’m not making coffee at this time. No, I meant something stronger.’
‘No, thank you,’ she said flatly.
‘In that case, my dear, we’ll go.’ Kim did not move and suddenly his whole manner changed. His mouth compressed and his gaze became dark and threatening. ‘Had you kept out of my affairs I’d be marrying Vicky and you’d be safe in your own bed. But you chose to meddle in something that was not your concern and now you’re going to pay for it.’ Laying down her hood and coat on a chair, he advance purposefully towards her. Kim stepped back, and Julian stopped. ‘Which way do you want it, Kim?’ I’ve no need to say which will be the more comfortable for you.’
‘You’ll regret this!’ she cried, her eyes filling up. ‘We’ll do it your way, but just you wait! You’ll — you’ll go to prison, I’ll m-make sure of that!’
Julian took what he required from his suitcase and went to the bathroom, presumably to undress there. He had locked the bedroom door behind him and Kim sat on the bed, staring at the box beside her. She’d have to wear his hateful things since there was no alternative, and reluctantly she opened the box. No bargain bundle this, but exquisite lingerie of the most expensive kind. Lifting out the nightdress as if it were hot, Kim let it flutter from its folds, white and sheer and far too short. Distastefully she put it down, thinking of her warm and practical pyjamas at home. That was another advantage of being free - you wore what was sensible, what you wanted to wear, not what would please the eye of your husband.
She took up the next garment, a negligee, all frills and bows and with no other fastening than that at the neck. It was no longer than the nightdress. Kim placed it on the bed and got up. She stood before the mirror wondering vaguely if she would look the same tomorrow morning. Her hair was untidy and she picked up the comb that was lying on the dressing-table, noticing as she did so the bottle of perfume on the little shelf below the mirror. So he liked his women scented too. Kim felt like pouring it down the sink. She was combing her hair when Julian came back into the room. Their eyes met in the mirror and he raised his brows.
‘Dallying, are we? Shall I help you, Kim?’ His tones were a soft and challenging threat.
‘I suppose I’m allowed to wash?’ she inquired tartly.
‘Sorry, my dear, I should have let you have the bathroom first.’ He opened the door again and she made to leave the room. Julian said, ‘I should take your things with you. I’m sure you’d prefer privacy.’ Something in his tone arrested her attention and she glanced up sharply. But his face was devoid of expression and, picking up the nightdress and negligee, Kim went across the landing to the bathroom. Julian was behind her and she was locked in. Fifteen minutes later she called to him to let her out, for she now felt there was nothing to be gained by putting off the evil moment any longer. Resignedly she stood by the bed. Her head was throbbing, but she no longer felt any fear. She was too tired and dispirited, too resigned to her fate.
Julian was standing by the dressing-table, his hands in the pockets of his dressing-gown, his eyes flickering over her with the most odd expression in their depths. He made no move to touch her and the air became electrified as his delay continued. Then, for some quite inexplicable reason, there flashed through Kim’s mind that strange feeling of disquiet she had experienced on the evening when she had visited Julian’s flat in order to pave the way for Vicky to obtain her freedom from the engagement. Kim had not paid much attention to it at the time, but now she knew that the disquiet had stemmed from doubt, doubt as to whether or not Julian was as bad as Vicky had made out. Her own initial opinion of Julian, Kim recalled, had been formed from nothing more reliable than a small snapshot. Kim also recalled her surprise when Vicky had said that her aunt had taken a great liking to Julian. For although Kim had not previously met Aunt Margaret, she had somehow formed the idea that she was rather more than ordinarily astute. Then there was Vicky’s admission that she had been seeing Stephen while still engaged to Julian. All Vicky was concerned with was gaining her freedom from Julian in order to become engaged to Stephen. Kim knew she had been taken in by Vicky, but she had still considered Julian to be something of a cad, a rake, in fact. But now.... Kim’s heart fluttered, but not this time from fear. Had she made a mistake? Had she misjudged Julian? How dreadful if this were true. To interfere in any case was bad enough — to her cost she now knew this — but to interfere if Julian were innocent.... And if he really loved Vicky, which seemed to be the case, it was no wonder he was so bitter, so determined to make Kim pay for the unhappiness she had caused him. Again she felt puzzled by the fact of Julian’s choosing Vicky for a wife in the first place, but she did not dwell on this. She had no experience herself, but she surmised that love was so powerful an emotion that it completely blinded one to the failings of the loved one. Julian, it would appear, was no stronger than the rest in this respect.
He still remained by the dressing-table and Kim by the bed. The situation could have been amusing in other circumstances. Was this what went on the first night? — with the man uncertain and the woman waiting, somewhat breathlessly, for him to gather up his courage? Kim realized her mind was running on lines that could lead to hysteria and she fixed her attention on Julian’s set face. No lack of courage there ... but there was uncertainty! Her heart missed a beat as the whole situation became clear. She had misjudged him. He was not the rake she had branded him. Kim’s heart acted strangely again as the full significance of her discovery was borne upon her. Julian had never intended doing her any serious harm ... he was not capable of doing so, she felt absolutely convinced of that. But he resented her interference; it had led to the loss of his fiancee and he was both angry and bitter. This was understandable, and with a man like Julian revenge and punishment would be a natural result. He had been determined to frighten her, and although it did occur to Kim that he had gone to rather extreme lengths in order to do so she dismissed the idea as unimportant. The only important thing was that Julian would not harm her. She felt jubilant, almost as if he had already set her free. And in her jubilation she didn’t stop to think; what she had just discovered recklessly came out.
‘You’re not like that at all, I realize it now,’ she went on in apologetic yet excited tones. ‘You’ve done this merely to punish me, because you’re so angry and hurt, but you never meant to do me any real harm, I’m sure of it. You succeeded in frightening me, and I know I deserved it, but I’m not in the least afraid of you now.’ She stared straight at him, her eyes wide and free at last from the darkness of anxiety and fear. Confidence had flowed into her and even the scantiness of her attire no longer caused her any embarrassment. ‘It’s true isn’t it? You’ll have to admit it’s true.’ She had noticed, as she began to speak, that Julian had been taken aback, and that was only what was to be expected, but now he looked actually startled and his mind appeared to be working furiously, although his expression gave nothing away. And then, to Kim’s utter amazement, he almost leapt towards her, a snarl of fury on his lips.
‘I’m not like that at all, aren’t I?’ he rasped, seizing her by the shoulders and pulling her to him. ‘I don’t mean you any harm? — and I won’t take my revenge, eh? What sort of tactics are these? No, my girl, this subtle little trick of yours won’t work. My intentions towards you are of the most dishonourable—’
‘Julian, don’t! You’re hurting me—’
‘Julian?’ For a second he held her away and she shuddered at the savage expression in his eyes. ‘At last! and I like the sound of my name on your lovely lips, Kim. Shall I like the feel of those lips, I wonder?’ Kim bent her head, but it was instantly jerked up and she felt the hard and merciless pressure of his mouth on hers. Her brain felt numbed by the revelation that he was, after all, the brute that Vicky had asserted him to be. Kim pushed her fists to his chest, but her feeble efforts were
useless against the bands of steel that encircled her. The cruelty of his lips actually brought tears to her eyes and when at last he held her from him he watched them trickle down her cheeks and fall on to her hand. ‘Crying, eh?’ he said hatefully. ‘Sorry for yourself now that you see what you’re in for?’ His face was dark and almost evil, and Kim trembled visibly. How could she have convinced herself she’d made a mistake? The idea now seemed ridiculous in the extreme. He would never have gone to those lengths, and to this great expense, merely to frighten her. No, he meant what he said; he was going to keep her here until he tired of her. ‘You do realize what you’re in for?’ he went on as the tears still came. ‘You’re not expecting a gentle lover, I hope.’
Colour flooded her face, but even in her great distress she sensed a certain tension in him, as if he were waiting for something.
‘No,’ she whispered, shaking her head. ‘I know exactly what to expect.’
He kissed her again, not nearly so roughly as before, and when he at last held her from him there was a strange wonderment in his eyes.
‘You should be flattered, Kim, for I find you attractive. I’ve a good mind to keep you for good—’
‘For good! In this sort of position? You can’t!’
‘Obviously not - in this position,’ he agreed, a smile touching his lips now. ‘But I can’t see myself ever tiring of you, my lovely Kim. And I’ve a mind to give you a choice.’
‘Choice?’ Her voice quivered with hope and she stared at him almost pleadingly.
‘Yes, a choice,’ he returned, amused by her expression. ‘Cling to your straw, my dear, for it is only a straw. I’m offering you marriage as the alternative to— Well, I’m offering you marriage.’
Marriage? Kim could only stare. What sort of man was he? ‘Four days ago you wanted to marry Vicky.’
‘So I did.’ A hand was removed from her arm as he stifled a yawn. ‘However, that’s all in the past. I now want to marry you.’ His hand returned to her arm. ‘Are you going to marry me, my dear?’
He was mad, he must be. Yes, in addition to everything else there was something wrong with his mind.
‘Marry you? Never!’ Loathing spread over her face and his eyes kindled dangerously.
‘Marriage, or else this,’ he snarled. ‘Take your choice — and you’d better make up your mind quickly,’ he warned, ‘before I decide I’m not willing to wait.’
‘Wait?’ She seized on that, and - was it imagination, she wondered bewilderedly, or had an expression of relief actually replaced the fury in his eyes? ‘If I agree to marry you you’ll go away now and - and leave me alone?’ It sounded too good to be true!
Julian’s hands slid down her arms and gripped her hands.
‘Not so quickly, Kim. Before we discuss the matter further put all ideas of escape out of your head. This isn’t merely a respite for you, while you think up some plot to turn the tables on me— Yes, I know exactly what’s going on in that lovely head of yours. But I won’t be cheated, Kim. Either you give me your solemn promise that you’ll marry me ... or I stay here tonight.’
Her face was pale and her hands in his felt clammy. She made to withdraw them, but his grip tightened. For a while she hesitated. She really did not have a choice at all. She must make the promise.... Her lashes fluttered down, masking her expression. A promise extracted under this sort of pressure could scarcely be considered binding, and even though Kim believed that honour was important she would have no qualms about breaking the promise. Yes, she’d make it, for it spelt certain release. They would have to go out of this place, to a church ... and then ...
Yes,’ she said at last. ‘I’ll marry you.’
‘And once married you’ll stay with me?’
‘Yes, Julian,’ she said quietly. ‘Once we’re married I’ll stay with you.’
A hand was put under her chin and Kim was forced to meet hjs gaze. He stared down into her eyes for a long while, examining her expression intently.
‘It’s for ever,’ he said gravely. ‘You do realize that?’ Kim cleared her throat, but renewed fear brought a little crack to her
voice as she said,
‘Yes, Julian, I realize it’s for ever.’
Another moment of scrutiny, and then he seemed satisfied. He drew her into his arms; she felt the warmth of his lips again, but this time there was a sort of gentle persuasion in his kisses and although Kim managed to resist she was shattered by the knowledge that, had he persevered a moment longer, she would have found herself responding. The idea filled her with selfdisgust and when at last he released her she lowered her head, unwilling to reveal the expression in her eyes.
‘Good night, Kim.’ Julian picked up his suitcase and walked to the door. ‘And ... Kim ...’
‘Yes?’ She had to look up at him then. ‘Yes?’
‘In all fairness I must warn you that the marriage will go through. There’ll be no opportunity of running out on me. I say this just in case you had it in mind that your promise isn’t binding.’ With that he went out, locking the door behind him.
CHAPTER FIVE
As Julian had predicted a blizzard had blown up during the night and Kim awoke to a glittering white world of towering majesty. She drew the curtains and stood looking out, gasping with pleasure in spite of the heaviness within her. The sky was clear and the plucked and fretted peaks stood out in stark grandeur against a backcloth of vivid blue. The pale sun slanted from between the crests and reflected against the blackness of the ravine far below. What was the mountain range over there? she wondered. She suddenly realized she had no idea what part of Wales she was in, she’d been too distressed even to look at a signpost. She turned, hearing the key in the lock. Julian asked her if she were up. Kim said yes and he informed her that it was ten o’clock and that he’d run the bath water for her.
‘You’re most kind,’ she returned sarcastically. ‘Am I to be escorted to the bathroom?’
‘I’m afraid so,’ he called from the other side of the door. ‘I’d like to trust you — in fact, I believe I can, but there’s just a niggling doubt.’
Kim opened the door and went past him without speaking. As before she was locked in the bathroom.
‘I’m sorry about all this,’ Julian said when he let her out again, and he added, with some amusement, ‘The restrictions will be lifted after we’re safely married.’
While Kim was dressing there drifted in to her the appetizing smell of bacon cooking. To her surprise she felt hungry and actually made a good breakfast. They ate in the little dinette which led off from the kitchen. The view from the long window was superb and Kim asked Julian the name of the mountain.
‘Cader Idris - that means the “chair of Idris”.’ As Julian passed her the toast, Kim noticed the crinkly lines of humour appear at the corners of his
eyes. ‘Idris was a giant, and anyone spending the night in the part of the mountain in which his chair lies will wake either a poet or a madman.’
‘Where does his chair lie?’ she asked, accepting the toast and placing it on her plate.
‘No one knows - but it could be anywhere.’ Julian helped himself to toast and put a pat of butter on his plate.
‘Well,’ observed Kim, ‘I feel neither mad nor poetical, so it can’t be here.’
‘You’re not mad ... with me?’ he said, still amused.
Kim buttered her toast, but glanced across at him. He looked exceedingly fresh, she thought, considering he’d driven all that way, and he must have risen early, for he was already washed and dressed when he called her. She wondered where he had slept and concluded that it must have been on the couch in the sitting-room.
‘Will it profit me anything to be mad with you?’ she inquired coolly as he sat waiting for her answer. She had slept well, from sheer exhaustion, but the moment she opened her eyes her thoughts returned to Julian’s parting words as he left her earlier that morning. There would be no running out on him, he’d said. Obviously he wasn’t planning to take her to a
church ... and she now wondered how she could have been so foolish as to underrate his cleverness a second time. He had read her thoughts; he knew that, immediately an opportunity presented itself, Kim would expose his villainy. Where, then, did he intend the marriage to take place? And did he really believe he could force her to marry him? She couldn’t possibly be forced and she decided to tell him at once that she had no intention of keeping that promise. He answered her question before she could speak.
‘On the contrary, it would be to your cost.’ Quiet enough tones, but containing a harshness which made Kim hesitate. However, he would have to know some time and Kim managed to say, with a calm that amazed her,
‘I’m not going to marry you, Julian. If you have a spark of decency in you you’ll admit that promise is in no way binding.’
Julian opened his eyes wide.
‘You mean to go back on it? You surprise me, Kim. In spite of my niggling little doubt, I felt, somehow, that you’d keep your promise. I’m disappointed in you.’
‘Your opinion of me is of no account,’ she returned with faint hauteur. ‘You can’t force me to marry you, and you’re well aware of it.’
He leant back in his chair, ignoring his food.
‘The ultimatum still stands,’ he told her in a very soft voice. ‘Either you marry me or...’
Her face paled. The daylight had given her confidence, but night must descend again and her position would be exactly the same as before. No, not the same, for she would be given no second chance. She recalled those occasions on which she had seen him watching her - with only desire in his eyes. Kim’s heart felt cold and dead as despair flooded over her. He
meant to have her, whether it be with or without marriage.
‘Can’t I appeal to your better nature?’ she asked, though entirely without hope.
‘I have no better nature. Resign yourself, Kim; it’s marriage if you prefer it — and although you can stall for another couple of days, the reckoning will come, I assure you. I’m not the sort of fool to take you down to the church; we’re being married here, in the chapel.’