“Then we’ll wait. We’ll get engaged or even, just for now, get promise rings. When you’re ready to be my wife, we’ll take the leap together.”
Aspen pinched her forehead. She couldn’t look him in the eyes; the next words were about to sting. “Trigg, I love you like a friend. No more and no less. You mean so much to me, but you don’t have my heart.” She sighed. “My heart belongs to someone else.”
Trigg’s face turned to a burning red hot ember. “What? What the hell do you mean your heart belongs to someone else? Don’t tell me you fell for some snobby dude in L.A.”
“Please don’t be mad. I have to be honest with you.”
“You want to be honest? Tell me who he is. I’ll find that piece of crap and knock the shit out of him.” He turned toward his tow truck and slammed his hands against the side of the deck. The truck teetered back and forth.
“Trigg…stop! You’re scaring me.”
Trigg turned abruptly and looked at Aspen with the most wildness of eyes she had ever seen. “Scaring you? Scaring you? I am so damn pissed right now I scare myself.” He grabbed her arms. “What the hell is wrong with me, Aspen? I’m not good enough for you, now that you are some big motocross stunt chick in the movies? Huh?”
“That’s not fair. We need the money and—”
“You need the money.” He squeezed harder. “You sound like a broken record.”
“Ouch! You’re hurting me.”
“I’m hurting you?” He laughed. “Nothing can compare to how much you’re hurting me.” He let go. “Get in the damn truck so I can take you home. You’re making me so sick to my stomach right now, I can’t even look at you.”
Aspen wearily walked over to the truck and paused when she touched the door handle.
“Get in the damn truck!” Trigg slammed his door shut. She did as instructed. She didn’t want to do or say anything else that might make him angrier. She had never seen him behave so aggressively before.
“Do you know how many girls would do anything to have me be their boyfriend?” He stared at her. “Do you?” The engine barely had time to roar before he put it in drive and floored the pedal. Somehow he stayed on his side of the road without veering off.
“You are athletic, charming, and handsome. Of course you’d be in high demand.” She tried to smile, but the fear inside her wouldn’t let her fake the response.
“Then why don’t you want me? If I am all those things you say I am, why can’t you love me for it?” He began to sob. “God!” He hit the steering wheel with the side of his fist.
Aspen jumped.
“I must look so pathetic to you. What can I do to change your mind, Aspen? Tell me and I’ll do it.” He kept looking her way and then back out to the road.
“Just be happy that I love you as my friend. Be happy that I care about you as much as I do. Then—”
“Then what?”
“Then let me go, Trigg.”
He sobbed. “I don’t want to let you go. I want to convince you that I’ll make a great husband and father. The best even.”
Aspen dropped her head into her hand, covering her eyes. “I don’t know, Trigg.”
“I will. I mean it.”
“I know you’ll make a great husband and father. What I am trying to say is…I just don’t think it will be with me.”
“Why not?”
“Cause I told you already. I know it’s hard to understand, but I don’t feel the same way as you. It’s not that you’re not a great person. You are. I just can’t pretend that my feelings are like yours. It wouldn’t be fair to you if it wasn’t real for me too.”
“It is real. You’re just scared.”
“Yes I am scared. I’m scared that I’ll lose your friendship over this.”
“Stop calling us and what we have a friendship.”
“Well, that’s what it is.”
Trigg shook his head back-and-forth as he turned into Aspen’s driveway.
She felt relieved to see her house. “Take some time to think about this, Trigg. About us. Try to see where I’m coming from. I know where you’re coming from and it breaks my heart that I can’t get you to understand mine.”
“Then let me mend it.”
“Your definition of mending it and mine are not one in the same. I need you to try and understand that my feelings are not the same as yours…and I don’t want to hurt you. Try to understand without taking it personally.”
There was silence.
“Look, Trigg…if I didn’t care about you, I would have run out of here by now, but I’m not gonna. Why? Because you do mean a lot to me. I want to help you feel better, but not by lying to you. Do you understand?”
Trigg leaned in for a hug. “I feel pretty pathetic, you know.”
“Don’t.”
“It’s unavoidable. I feel so crazy about you, I go a little insane every time I am with you.” He cried into her shoulder. “That’s how much I love you. I know you must think that’s pathetic.”
“Then feel pathetic, only for this brief moment, and then let it go.”
“That’s easier said than done.” He tried to smile through his tear-soaked face. He still looked as though he had a sunburn from the fit of rage and hurt that had exploded through his body.
“Yeah, but you can do it.” They held on to one another for a few seconds before Aspen pulled away. “You need to let me go…and you need to be okay with it.”
Trigg nodded with trepidation. “You are going to see how blessed you are to have a guy like me, and you’ll be back. I know it.”
“I am blessed to have you…as my close friend.”
Trigg swallowed hard. His chiseled jawline tightened.
Aspen placed her hand behind his head and pulled his forehead against hers. “You okay to drive home?”
“I’m always okay. Will you be okay, Aspen?”
“As long as you’re okay, I will be too.”
“I love you, Aspen.”
“I know you do—and believe me—I love you too.”
He wiped his tears onto the sleeve of his jacket. “Tell Cole I said hello and to call me if he needs anything.”
Aspen got out of the truck and leaned in one more time before closing the door. “Thank you, Trigg.”
He gave her a straight-lipped smile and sped off as soon as she shut the door.
~~@
Wren heard the truck pull up and felt compelled to peek out the upstairs window, but convinced herself to be a deadweight in bed so as not to approach the window. “No, don’t do it.” The headlights of the tow truck cascaded through the cracks in the dated blinds, leaving lines of shadows, as though she were in jail. “They sure are taking a long time.” She had yet to hear any doors open. She rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head to muffle a faint scream.
“Come inside, Aspen. Please, please, please. It’s getting late.” She felt stupid for saying such things to herself, but the parts of her brain that controlled her inner voice weren’t in sync with what she willed it to do. She wondered how long it would take to pass out if she shoved her face tight into the pillow. “That would make for an interesting news story. Headline…Actress Wren Emerson dies from fabric—stuffed with feathers—
Asphyxiation, in small town Oregon where her gorgeous stunt double lives. News at ten.” She pressed her fingers into her eyelids. “You are getting sleepy. Sleepier and sleepier. You crave sleep. You need sleep…you need Aspen to come in. Ugh!” She looked up at the cascading lights coming through the window, swallowing her feeble body. Their eerie glow imprisoning her.
“Damn it!” She got up and slowly approached the window, trying not to awaken the squeaky floorboards. “Don’t peek,” she said as she looked out the side of the window. She made out two figures hugging each other in the cabin of Trigg’s tow truck. There was no denying it was Trigg and Aspen. Her heart sank as she took a step back from the window. “What, are you surprised?” She leaned forward once more. She could see Aspen’s hand cradl
e the back of Trigg’s head and their faces close together. She could have sworn her heart stopped beating when she witnessed the kiss. She scurried back to the bed and sobbed into the pillow. When she heard the truck door shut, she paused. She heard the truck drive off and the squeaky door to the house open and shut. She swallowed hard when Aspen’s footsteps approached her door and stopped. She popped her head up and tried to gain focus, but the room was now too pitch black to see. An agitating ringing sounded in her ears. She yearned for Aspen to push the door open, but then prayed she’d just pass by. She listened.
Aspen stood outside the doorway with a raised hand, ready to lightly knock on the door. She thought back to what she saw on the porch earlier that night. She lowered her fist and her chin dropped to her chest. She rested her forehead against Wren’s door and stifled her cries. She mouthed the words “I love you,” before heading off to her room.
~~@
“You’re up early.” Aspen approached the wrap-around porch. She had been assisting her dad with the early morning chores and carried a small bucket full of chicken eggs.
“Gotta memorize these lines.” Wren didn’t look up from her papers.
“Need any help?”
“No, I’m good.”
Aspen frowned. “Well, I’m gonna get breakfast started.”
“I’ll be in in a few minutes to help.”
“That’s okay. You work on your lines. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”
“Thanks.”
Aspen trembled as she walked into the house. She had so many questions, but didn’t think she could handle the answers.
“Feeling any better today, Wren?” Cole stood at the bottom of the steps as he kicked some dirt off his shoes. “I tried to check on you last night, but I think you were sleepin’ and didn’t want to wake you.”
“I’m doing okay; just a little tired is all.”
“Well, Kiddo. I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t enjoy your company the past couple days. Hate to see you and Aspen leave tomorrow.”
“Thank you so much for your kind hospitality, Cole. I had a great time.”
“Any time, Kiddo.” He walked up the steps and leaned on the railing with his work gloves clasped in one hand. “You are always welcome here. You know it.”
“I appreciate that more than you know.”
“I’m gonna head on in to check on Aspen,” he said with a louder voice. “Make sure she doesn’t burn the house down.” He winked.
“I heard that,” Aspen yelled from inside the kitchen.
Wren laughed. She placed her paperwork down next to her. “I think you could use some back-up.” She followed him inside, just in time for the smoke detector to start wailing.
Aspen was in the process of digging out a stuck piece of toast in the toaster with a butter knife.
Cole covered his ears to muffle the sound from the deafening smoke detector.
“Aspen!” Wren hurried to her side and grabbed the knife. “Not while it’s plugged in.” She yanked the plug from the wall.
Aspen went to open a window, choking from the scorched fumes.
“I’ll get a ladder and get that thing down.” Cole left the room.
“What are you trying to make, Aspen?”
“What?”
“What are you cooking besides, almost yourself?” She covered her nose and mouth with her shirt.
“Well…I thought eggs, bacon, and toast would be safe, but I guess I thought wrong.” She laughed at her predicament as she tried to wave the smoke out the window. “I think the toaster was set higher than usual. Didn’t notice it in time.”
Cole walked through the doorway with a ladder in hand. He had heard the last thing Aspen said over the sharp chirping of the alarm. “Toasted a bagel last night. Midnight snack.”
Wren extracted the smoldering burnt piece of toast with some tongs and held it up for Aspen to see. “Where have I seen this before?”
Aspen shrugged her shoulders. “One thing for sure…I’m pretty darn predictable.”
Cole got the alarm from the wall and yanked out the batteries. “There we go.” He rubbed at his ears with the palms of his hands.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Yeah, thank you.” Wren shook her head. “Aspen, how about you make some fresh coffee and I’ll tend to cooking breakfast?”
“No arguments here.” Aspen cut her way through the smoke with swinging arms as she prepped the coffee machine.
“Good idea, Ladies.” Cole began setting the table. “Maybe we should eat out on the porch. Not too chilly this mornin’,” he joked.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Cole.” Wren cracked an egg one-handed and dropped the insides into the warming frying pan.
Aspen enjoyed the banter. It cut through the tension she felt on the porch only minutes earlier.
“You girls have any special plans today?”
Aspen shrugged her shoulders. “I’m gonna head over to the cemetery later on. Other than that—”
“Let me know when you plan to go.” Wren interrupted. “I would like to join you, if that’s okay.”
“That’s cool. Sure.”
“How about you, Cole? You need help with anything?”
“As a matter of fact I do.” His smile broadened. “Got us a tree last night. Jim let me pick out a nine foot Douglas fir. Was hopin’ you guys would help me decorate it. It’s so big I could use all hands on deck.”
Aspen felt bad she had almost forgotten about the tree. “Sounds awesome, Dad!”
“I haven’t decorated a tree in so long. I would love to,” Wren replied.
“After breakfast we’ll start us up a little fire in the fireplace and put on the Elvis Christmas soundtrack your mom played every year. We’ll have that tree decorated in no time.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Wren said.
“Okay, then. I’ll start getting things set up until breakfast is ready. That okay with you, Wren?”
“Sure.”
“You bring the tree in, Dad, and I’ll get the fire started. I seem to have a knack for starting fires this morning.”
They all laughed, going on about their duties. When Aspen pressed the ‘brew’ button on the coffeemaker, she checked to make sure her dad had gone into the living room. Content that he was out of earshot, she turned to Wren. “Can we talk later?”
“Of course,” Wren said. “But for now, let’s just keep things light and enjoy these last few hours with your dad.”
“I can do that.” She held her thumb up, pointing it at the doorway to the living room. “I’m going to go start a contained fire now. Need anything before I go?”
Wren smiled. “Just your appetite. This will be ready in ten minutes.”
“My appetite it is.” She left the kitchen.
~~@
“Here’s the very first ornament Aspen ever made.” Cole handed Wren a piece of yellowed paper with crumbly streaks of glue tattered with glitter and macaroni.
“Made it in school.” Aspen walked over to her side. “It was supposed to be a snowflake, but I wasn’t handy with scissors back then.”
“Well it looks pretty fancy to me,” Wren noted. She carefully placed it on a free branch and held it a second longer before smiling at Aspen.
“Here’s another one she made.” It looked a lot like the first one, only it was in the shape of a snowman. He began humming Elvis singing Silent Night on the CD player.
“Ah, Frosty,” Aspen reminisced. “Made it the same time as the snowflake.”
“I see the resemblance.” Wren winked at Aspen. She reached into a container and pulled out a picture framed ornament with a young Aspen smiling a toothless grin on a pink big wheel. “Awe, this is so cute. Was this your first bike?”
“Yup. Was also the first tooth I lost.”
“And it wasn’t by natural causes,” Cole said.
“Really?”
“Another great story, Wren.” He continued to place ornaments on the tree. “Aspen, you gotta
tell her this one.”
“Sure, you wanna hear it, Wren?”
“Of course.”
“All right, then. Well, it all began when I tried to build myself a little ramp for my big wheel.”
Wren snickered. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
“I wasn’t quite sure how to do it, but I must have seen it done somewhere, so I got a piece of scrap board and leaned it against a fire log. I peddled my little legs as fast as I could, right toward that ramp, but when I hit it, the hard plastic tire knocked the board silly and I smacked hard into the side of the log. Well, the big wheel came to an abrupt stop, but I didn’t. Banged my mouth right into the handlebars. Thought I was rich, though. Got a dollar for each tooth that I lost. Three dollars was like hitting a goldmine at that age.”
Wren laughed. “That is a great story.” She stared at Aspen longer than she had intended.
Aspen fumbled with placing an ornament on one of the branches. “I guess it was always in my blood to be a little daredevil. Mom always patched me up right, so I guess I kept feeling like I was just about invincible.”
“Sometimes I think you’re invincible when you perform those stunts back on set. What you can do on two wheels is absolutely amazing.”
“Pays the bills,” Aspen concluded. “When we go over to the family cemetery a little later, you wanna drive us?”
“What…the buggy?”
“Nope, the dirt bike. You’re ready, Wren. Like I said yesterday…you’re a natural.”
“So, I’m not going to follow you?”
“Nope. You’ll drive and I’ll BOB.”
Wren tilted her chin.
“Babe-On-Back.”
Wren nodded. “Ah, I get it. So, me give you a ride?” She still wasn’t sure she was hearing Aspen right.
Aspen nodded.
“Seriously?”
“Absolutely.”
“I don’t know—”
“If Aspen says you’re ready—you’re ready, Kiddo.”
“Come on, Wren. It’ll help you with your confidence, for when you’re riding back in L.A.”
“Peer pressure, peer pressure.” Wren took a deep breath. “I’ll do it!”
~~@
“I’m right here if you need me,” Aspen spoke through the helmet. She wrapped her arms around Wren’s waist. “You’ll find that with momentum, the extra weight back here will be practically unnoticeable. Even on this little dirt bike.”
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