by Blake, Nina
“Are you saying you purposely gave the girls more than me just to see what I’d do?” he asked. “What on earth made you do that? I thought you gave me less because you loved me less. That was a rotten thing to do.”
“No, that’s what gave you the drive to succeed. Look at what you did with the money. Look at what you’ve made of yourself. That’s what made you a success.”
All these years, the one thing Daniel had ever wanted from his father was his approval. Recognition. A pat on the back. A few words of affection. It had never seemed like too much to ask.
And now he had it. His father was finally telling him in his own twisted way that he was a success.
But Daniel didn’t want it any more. Not this way.
For so long, he’d believed he was too much like his father. Ambitious. Driven. And he’d always believed that marriage wasn’t for the likes of them. It hadn’t worked for his father and it wouldn’t work for him.
All these years his father had been dragging him down to his own level, holding him back in life.
Daniel just hadn’t known it before.
“Dad, I want you to stop talking and hear me out for a change,” he said.
“What?”
“All I’ve ever wanted is some acknowledgement from you that in your eyes I’m a success. This is the first time you’ve given me an inkling that you think I’m a worthwhile person and that I’ve done well.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Daniel stood up, took a deep breath, felt his chest expand.
“You never listen to me,” he said. “It doesn’t matter what I do, how many deals I win or how much money I make, nothing I do is good enough for you. And it never will be.”
“What on earth makes you say that?”
“Because it’s true, damn it.”
“You’re my son. I don’t need to tell you I’m proud of you, but you don’t have my approval on this one. Not on this marriage business. You’re a success, boy. Don’t ruin it.”
“I haven’t been a boy for a long time,” Daniel said. “I’m a man.”
“You’re not listening to me.” His father sounded exasperated. Daniel knew the feeling.
Though there was no one else in the room with him, Daniel stabbed a finger in the air. “No, you’re not listening to me. I’m a man and I’m getting married. You can recognise that or not. I really don’t care any more.”
“If you go through with this ridiculous plan, I’ll have nothing more to do with you. I’ll wash my hands of you. This’ll be the worst deal you’ve ever made in your life.”
Across the telephone line, across the thousands of kilometres that stood between them, Daniel smelt his father’s desperation. He was doing it again. Withholding love and approval.
This time, Daniel didn’t care.
“You just don’t get it,” he said. “It’s not a ‘deal’. It’s my life. I’d hoped you’d be happy for me but since you’re not, it’s just your tough luck. It’s not going to change anything. This is the right thing for me.”
Daniel hung up the phone.
He’d wasted enough time already.
Chapter Thirteen
Kate pulled open the front door of her apartment. Her mouth fell open. “What do you want?”
The words slipped out before she had time to think but she didn’t know what she thought any more.
Or felt.
Or wanted.
Daniel shrugged. “You’d be surprised how many people have been greeting me that way lately.”
“What?”
“May I come in?” he asked.
If only it were as simple as letting him into the room. If only she could do that without letting it affect her.
Perhaps if she were a different person – more easy-going, better able to brush off her feelings – maybe then she could invite him in as she would any other friend.
Then, they’d never been just friends and that was the one thing they never could be.
There was nothing left of the relationship they’d once had.
“Daniel, it was only a few days ago I told you how I felt. I don’t want to see you again so soon. I’m just not ready.”
His lips curled to a confident smile. “I haven’t had breakfast yet. I brought croissants.”
A smile like that was dangerous. He smiled with his whole face, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. He smiled as though he meant it but he’d already said exactly what he meant and it hadn’t been what she’d wanted to hear.
“I’ve only just come out of the shower,” Kate said. “I’m not ready for guests. And I don’t want your croissants.”
“I only want to talk to you, and I’m not going away until I have. I don’t fancy shouting through the door so all the neighbours can hear but you know I’ll do it if I have to.”
She didn’t care about her neighbours. They were the least of her worries.
The problem was her feelings. They just wouldn’t go away.
But the two of them did have to clear the air, so she stepped aside. “Come in. I’ve got something to say too. I know Irwin Webb wasn’t all your fault. That you tried to make amends and paid back most of the money to the investors. And I’m sorry I misjudged you.”
He walked through the door and stopped inside. “It isn’t all your fault. I should have understood why you were upset, except my pride got in the way. I should have known all along that I could convince you of the truth. Because I’m not a bad man.”
No, he wasn’t. But he wasn’t the right man for her.
He wasn’t a friend and he wasn’t a lover any more.
He was an ache deep inside her.
“Take a seat,” she said.
“Perhaps you can make some coffee?”
She shook her head. “Let’s get this over with.”
In the living room, he dropped the bag of croissants on the coffee table and placed his hands on her upper arms. His fingers were warm even through the fabric of her shirt, his touch as firm and reassuring as ever. Her eyes dropped to the floor but she felt his gaze upon her, felt him looking right through her.
Damn it, he knew. She could feel it. He knew she loved him so why was he here to toy with her?
Kate hadn’t planned on the tears. She was trying to be strong but the tears fell regardless. Lifting her hands to her cheeks, she wiped them away. His hands were on her waist as he pulled her closer.
She pushed him away. Sat at one end of the sofa. “What is it that you want?”
Daniel sat down beside her. “I want you.”
Dear God, she couldn’t go though this again. He wanted her on his terms, living with him while it suited him.
No promises. No commitment. No future.
He’d always been so honest about what he wanted from her. Made no bones about it.
But honesty wasn’t enough. She couldn’t take what he had to offer.
He didn’t love her.
Kate looked him in the eye. “You’ve probably said that to lots of women and it’s worked for you in the past. That doesn’t mean it’s all right now. It isn’t going to work. You’ve told me you always get what you want but that’s over. No more.”
“It doesn’t have to be over.”
“How can you be so heartless? How can you think it’s okay to treat me like this? I’ve fallen in love with you and you know it. You might think that’s funny but I don’t. It’s cruel, Daniel, and there’s no need for it.”
He clasped her hands in his. “You’ve what?”
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” she shouted. “It’s a mistake and it’s done.”
He held her hands more securely. “That’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard. I didn’t come here to make fun of you. I came here to ask you to marry me.”
Suddenly, he dropped to one knee on the floor in front of her. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Kate, will you marry me?”
Where had this come from?
She wasn’t expecting this.
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“I…I can’t,” she whispered.
“You can’t or you’re too scared? I know you, Kate, and for the last few days you’ve probably thought everything through, weighed up the pros and cons, and made a safe decision based on the facts. That’s the wrong way to go about this. This isn’t a philosophical argument or a mathematical equation. Facts are only the half of it. What about your feelings, your emotions? Don’t they count for anything?”
She shook her head and spoke softly. “My feelings are what got me into trouble in the first place.”
“For God’s sake, you can’t always be so pragmatic, so sensible. It’s dragging you down. For once, just let yourself go, listen to your gut, your instincts. Look inside. What about trusting your feelings and your heart?”
Kate’s mouth fell open. They were the same words her mother had used but he couldn’t possibly have known that.
“My heart can’t tell me what’s best for me,” she said.
“Do you remember the first time I saw you? I looked at you and knew you were the one for me. I said I was going to marry you. The words just slipped out and I didn’t know what was going on. I kept fooling myself, telling myself marriage wasn’t for me, but when I said those first words to you, they were the truth. Straight from the gut. From deep inside. And I twisted it, told myself it was only lust. But I was right the first time. It was the real thing.”
She wanted to believe him, wanted it all to be true but she wasn’t sure if wanting it would make it all real.
Daniel looked into her eyes. “There’s more. For years, I’d had so much in my life. I was successful in so many ways. There were plenty of women around me. Business was good. But there was one thing I didn’t have. My father’s approval. It held me back. Now, I don’t want that any more. I can see what’s important and it’s got nothing to do with making a lot of money on my own. It’s got everything to do with you.”
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
All this time, Kate had been trying to look at what was right and wrong and what would fit into her plans and it had got her nowhere. She didn’t want a life based solely on security, a life without passion, though that’s where she’d been headed.
She loved Daniel, pure and simple. She didn’t need to think about it to know what her feelings were. They were inside her, part of her, and she’d done way too much thinking already.
Still on one knee, Daniel reached across, rummaged through the bag of croissants and pulled out a small burgundy felt box. Flipping it open, he revealled a brushed gold band with a perfectly cut solitaire diamond, understated and elegant.
“I wanted you to find it in the bag of croissants,” he said. “Then I was going to act all nonchalant and ask you to marry me, but it didn’t go quite to plan.”
Kate held his gaze. “Yes.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Are you agreeing that, yes, it didn’t go to plan?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
His lips curled to a smile as he placed the gold ring on her finger. “It’s a perfect fit.”
They’d always been made for each other, no matter how hard she’d tried to deny it. And now that she’d finally let go of her old prejudices, she felt more free than she’d ever felt before.
Like a new woman with a new life.
Daniel wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his head against her chest, and she knew – instinctively – that nothing had ever felt so right before.
Epilogue
“You look nervous, mate!” Ray Price, Daniel’s best man, whacked him on the shoulder as they stood at the front of the church.
Daniel’s eyes were riveted to the man walking into the back of the room. “You’ve got it all wrong.”
Ray looked puzzled. “Isn’t that your…? I thought you said he wasn’t coming.”
Daniel watched his father stride up the aisle towards him. This was the last thing he’d expected. His father had made his views on marriage – on Daniel’s marriage, in particular – very clear.
Marriage was not for the likes of them.
A horrible thought crossed Daniel’s mind. Surely he wasn’t here to try to change his mind. Damn it, the last thing he wanted was a scene. Not on his wedding day. That would be far too upsetting for Kate.
Then, as Roger Webb stretched out his hand to him, Daniel noticed his father was smiling. A sincere smile. Stretched out to a full grin, in fact. What was going on?
“I couldn’t miss out on your big day,” his father said. “I hope you don’t mind but I saw Kate outside and wished her luck. She seemed surprised to see me.”
“Not as surprised as me. So you decided to come for the wedding?”
Daniel wondered if pigs might fly after all. He couldn’t believe this was happening.
“You’re becoming a man today,” Roger said. “I couldn’t miss that. The biggest day of your life.”
So that was it. His father was finally acknowledging him.
Daniel looked him in the eye. “I’m glad you could make it. Really glad.”
“So am I. Look, I’d better take a seat.” He nodded to the front of the church. “The bride’s on her way.”
Then Roger Webb stepped back and sat down on the bench behind the groomsmen, the same bench as Daniel’s mother and sisters. His mum and dad wouldn’t look at each other and they were seated at opposite ends but it was still the damnedest thing Daniel had ever seen.
At the first tones of the organ, everyone in the room took to their feet. As the church soprano began singing Ave Maria, Daniel saw movement at the rear of the church. The bridesmaids were coming down the aisle towards him but they were nothing more than a blur of crimson to him.
All he could see was Kate, walking down the aisle, looking more beautiful than ever before. Her hair was swept up, exposing her pretty neck and shoulders. Her dress was simple and elegant, fitted through the bodice, sweeping out into a full skirt. There was no veil to hide the sparkle of her eyes and her nervous smile.
For a few moments, as she neared him, it felt like there was no one else in the room.
Only Kate.
Walking towards him.
Daniel glanced over at Ray and grinned. “That’s the woman I’m going to marry.”