“Can I sit?” he asks.
I nod.
“Do you want me to call him with you?” he asks as he lays down facing me.
“Will you sit with me? I should be the one to tell him but I don’t know how.”
“Of course. How about I call and you talk?” He holds his hand out for my phone. I give it to him and he swipes to call Zion.
After a few rings Z answers. “Hi Lil.”
“Hey, it’s actually Connor and Lilith.” Connor clears his throat and looks to me.
“Hey,” I croak. I try to hold back the tears but I know Z can hear them in my voice.
“What’s wrong?” he asks quickly and with deep concern.
Connor looks at me, waiting to follow my lead. I open my mouth and then close it, open it again but the words won’t form. I feel a swell of panic cresting within me. Connor sees it in my eyes and gives me a nod before continuing. I listen to him tell Z what happened in a bubble of numbness I create around myself. I vaguely register Zion crying and him telling his mom who also starts to cry. Zion begs for me to talk to him, to say anything but I can’t. I just lay down and roll over, facing away from Connor and that awful conversation I’m no where ready to accept.
After Connor gets off the phone with Zion he lays down behind me and pulls me to his chest. I roll over after a few minutes of laying together in silence.
“Thank you,” I rasp as I dig my face into his neck. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Do what?” he whispers.
“Life. Without my dad.” My heart cracks open again when those words tumble out of my mouth. I don’t want to cry again. I want to forget this searing pain that takes ahold of me every time I take a breath. “Make me forget?” I look up into his eyes for the first time since coming home last night.
He studies me for a minute as his hands run up my back under my shirt. He moves me onto my back and gives me a soft, slow kiss. For the next few minutes he kisses me and lets his hands roam my body in gentle brushes bringing desire to the forefront of my emotions and pushing down the sadness. He sets a lazy pace of stripping us of our clothes. He makes love to me tenderly, sweetly, in a way I didn’t even know I needed or that he was capable of. I fall asleep feeling safe, cherished, and loved.
I wake up a few hours later to murmured voices out in the living room. I reach over to where Connor had been laying and feel that the sheets are cold. I put my clothes back on and find Levi and Griff sitting on the couch together talking about something softly. They look up in unison when I walk in the room.
“Hey hood rat. How are you doing?” Levi asks with a sad smile.
“I’m here.” I shrug and take a seat on the couch between them. “Where did Con go?”
“He and Victor went to give statements to the police. We’ll leave to go back home when they get back,” Griff answers.
“Home,” I chuckle bitterly. “I don’t have a home anymore.” Our house in Chicago sold a month ago. I only lived at the Volkov estate because my dad worked for Victor. “No family. No home.” I rest my elbows on my knees and my face in my hands.
“Nope.” Levi parks himself in front of me, sitting on the coffee table. He grabs my hands and makes me look up at him. “I am so sorry about your dad.” He squeezes my hands in his. “But you do have a home. You sure as fuck have a family. It is with us. We love you, hood rat. Griff, Ivy, Connor, Zion, me, we are your family not from blood but choice. We’re going to be here for you, every day. You want to scream, I’ll hand you a megaphone. You want to cry,” he pats his shoulder, “I’ve got two huge shoulders for that. You want to hit something, that can be fucking arranged. We are here. For. You. I don’t want to hear about you not having a family, okay?” He looks at me with his navy eyes glazed over with fierce emotion.
I launch myself into his lap and wrap my arms around him. In such a short amount of time he’s become like another brother, like Zion, to me. I swallow down the emotion, hoping he can sense my gratitude through the way I’m squeezing him. “You must kill motivational speeches in the locker room.” I mumble into his chest.
“Look at you, making jokes.” His chest shakes with a chuckle. “And, yes, I give great locker room speeches.” He shifts us and moves back to the couch. “Huddle up, Griff.” I feel Griff wrap his arms around me from the other side.
The rest of the semester passes by both quickly and slowly. At school the guys, Ivy, and Levi’s football teammates keep me insulated in a bubble of protection. I look up the stages of grief online and realize that I seem to be cycling through them out of order and even repeating some of them. Even with my maelstrom of emotions I somehow manage to end the semester with a 3.9 GPA.
Victor had a room made for me in the family wing but I spend every night with Connor. We don’t try to hide anything from him and he seems completely okay with it. Edward helped me pack up most of my dad’s things and said he’d take care of finding somewhere to store them for me. Delores clucks around me like a mother hen, always trying to get me to eat more.
A week before Christmas we flew to Chicago to have a memorial for dad. Some of dad’s friends from his old unit came, some old neighbors, Z and his family. It felt good to be back in Chicago but also like it was no longer home. I had Connor and Z right beside me and Victor, Levi, Griff, and Ivy at my back while I released dad’s ashes into Lake Michigan. Chicago gave us a typical, blistery gray winter day for the release. The bitter cold spray off the waves was a fitting compliment to my mood that day.
31
Lilith
We got back from Chicago two days ago and I’ve spent the time since locked away in my room, mostly sleeping but sometimes Con comes in to watch kitchy Hallmark Christmas movies with me. I can’t help but feel like I’m dragging down the vibe so I hide away here in the beautiful room that was somehow already set up and perfect when we came back from NYC weeks ago.
“Come in,” I say when I hear a knock on the door.
Victor opens the door looking more casual than I’ve ever seen him before barefoot in jeans and a long sleeve red shirt. He’s holding a black folder full of papers. “I have some things to go through with you about your dad’s will. I can call a lawyer for any questions you might have but I thought it might be easier for me to just walk you through everything, especially regarding his security company.”
“Considering I didn’t even know he had a will until now that’s fine. I trust you.” I pat the bed beside me.
He sits down beside me against the headboard and stretches his legs out. “First things first, I’m transferring five million into an account for you. It’s the remainder of his contract with me plus a settlement for pain and suffering for you. That’s obviously not in his will but it’s important for you to remember as I go through this.”
“You don-” I start to decline but he interrupts me.
“I do. You lost your father while he was protecting my son and myself. I will forever owe you a debt that can never be repaid, let me make this small gesture.” He looks over at me with the same green eyes I’m so used to getting lost in.
“Five million dollars isn’t a small gesture but continue.” I point to the folder in his lap.
“Okay, your dad had a life insurance policy through VI worth one million. My attorney said it should be cleared to you within the next six weeks. He left you his truck. He also left his security company to you.” Victor shifts to look at me.
“Here’s where things could get complicated. You have several options. You can sell the company and walk away with the money. I had a few people look into it and they think it’s probably worth couple million. If you did that you could walk away and wash your hands of it.” He gives me a serious look before continuing. “Or you could hand the reigns of the business over to someone else for the time being until you finish college and then take it back over. I would be happy to help you find someone well suited to the task. Someone trustworthy and hardworking. Michael and I had been discussing me investing some mone
y to help take the business up to the next level. If you choose to have me help you with the business I could triple it’s profitability and get you set for life.”
“A steady stream of income would free you up for law school and eventually founding that nonprofit you’ve dreamed of. Even with someone taking over the company while you finish your education you will still have final say over every business decision. I can help guide you or direct you to some business mentors who can do so.”
He hands me a pen and points to the stack of papers in front of us. “Initial next to the green tabs and sign beside the red tabs. This is only an acknowledgement of the terms of the will, nothing to do with the business.”
“Okay.” I read through everything carefully before signing and initialing. “I’m going to need some time to think about everything regarding the business.”
“Of course.” He gathers up the paperwork and moves off the bed. “We’ll see you in the morning, correct?” He, Connor, Delores, and Edward decided to have a small Christmas brunch for just the five of us.
“I’ll be there.” I give him a small smile.
“Great. Have fun tonight,” he says as he walks out of my room.
Griff is having us all over to his house tonight for our Christmas dinner. I look at my phone to check the time and see I only have about an hour to get ready before we need to go. I walk into my closet which now rivals Ivy’s in size and find a black cashmere sweater dress she brought over a few weeks ago. I grab a pair of flat black boots to wear instead of heels. It’s snowed about eight inches this past weekend so everything is covered in a thick blanket of white and the roads are a slushy nightmare. I don’t need to fall on my ass because I’m as uncoordinated as a newborn giraffe.
When I come out of the bathroom I find Connor stretched out on my bed, just like his dad was an hour ago. Aside from the silvering of Victor’s hair and the more prominent laugh lines on his face, they really could be twins. I walk around the bed to stand beside him and he moves to sit on the edge. He pulls me between his legs and cups my ass in his hands.
“I like this dress,” he rasps as he hands move over my body. “Is it new?”
“Yeah,” I smooth a hand over my hip, “Ivy saw it and bought it for me awhile back. Said she saw it and immediately thought of me.”
“She’s right. You look beautiful.” He stands and kisses me. “Ready to head over?”
“Sure.” I take a minute to appreciate the way his muscles fill out his forest green henley. The color looks amazing against his olive skin and green eyes. He notices my gaze and smirks at me. The one thing that hasn’t been affected by my current bout of depression is my constant hunger for and attraction to Connor. I can’t imagine this current that ties us together ever dissolving, nor do I want to.
When we get to Griff’s pool house Levi is already there. They’re playing a game of air hockey as we walk in hand in hand.
“Merry Christmas,” they say simultaneously, not looking up from their game.
“I play the winner,” I say as I walk over to stand beside the table. Griff scores the winning goal so I take over for Levi. “It’s weird to not have Ivy here.” I look up at him to see his reaction. Things have been tense between them since Homecoming. They’ve barely looked at each other and have almost zero interaction. After our conversation at the spa months ago Ivy hasn’t said anything else and I’ve obviously been preoccupied. She’s spending winter break with her dad and his new wife.
“Yep,” Levi says as he walks away to pour himself a drink.
Griff and I play a few rounds before we sit down to eat. Griff had his family’s chef make us a nice seafood dinner. After we finish Griff walks back into his bedroom and comes back out with a small red box that he sets in front of me.
“What’s this?” I look up at him.
“A gift from the three of us.” Levi answers.
“I thought we weren’t giving each other gifts?” I arch an eyebrow.
“Individually. This is different,” Griff responds. “Open it.”
I remove the ribbon and lift the lid. Inside sits a beautiful rose gold ring made of three bands that are interwoven together loosely. The center band holds a large cushion cut diamond. The other two bands are covered by a row of smaller diamonds. I look up at the three of them and then back down at the ring.
“It’s beautiful.” I look back up at them. “Thank you.”
Levi reaches over and taps my middle finger. “It’s for this finger. We’re sick of looking at it without something shiny when you give us the bird.” He grins at me with his golden boy smile. “It might also be a reminder that you have us as your family, always.”
I pull the ring out and see the band is inscribed with the latin phrase Familia Ante Omnia. Family over all. Then all three boys stand and pull their shirts off. They each smirk when my eyes widen but holy fuck, it’s like a dinner and a personal Magic Mike show. On each of their biceps they have had the phrase tattooed on them.
Tears swim in my eyes and love fills my heart. These three boys have filled in the cracks in my broken soul. Connor has my heart on lock down. I couldn’t leave him if I tried. I considered going back to Chicago to stay with Z and his mom for the rest of school year but when she mentioned to Victor at Dad’s memorial he was shockingly adamant that I stay with them. It warmed my heart to see him fight for me to stay. I felt wanted instead of like a burden.
I’m brought out of my thoughts and back to the present by someone clearing their throat.
“I love you guys.” I hug Levi and give him a kiss. I do the same with Griff who holds me a second longer, giving me a wordless squeeze. Like me, he holds his feeling close to the vest.
When I stand in front of Connor he bends and grabs me by my thighs, lifting me. My legs wrap around his hips and my arms around his neck. He looks over my shoulder at Griff before saying we’re going to borrow the guest room for a few minutes.
32
Connor
I carry Lily back to the bedroom I’ve claimed as mine when I stay at Griff’s house. She’s leaning back a bit, her gorgeous ocean eyes searching my face, trying to figure out what I’m up to. I look at her and give her a cocky smirk which makes her roll her eyes and smile.
I set her down on the bed and take a step back. My shirt is still off and I start pulling my belt off. Her eyes go big and round and she looks at the door furtively.
“Should we be doing this here,” she whispers, “I mean, they are right down the hall.”
“We’ve fucked in my penthouse with everyone there.” I cock my head at her and let my jeans fall. Her eyes give away her hunger when they linger on my hardening cock. “We’re definitely doing this if you keep looking at me like that.”
She looks up at me and licks her lips.
Oh, yeah.
We are definitely about to fuck.
Before more clothes start coming off though I pull the waist band of my boxer briefs down showing her the additional tattoo I got for her. It’s a single white lily with a ribbon wrapped around the stem.
She leans forward and brushes her thumb under it. Her eyes are watery again when she looks up at me, “all my perfects,” she whispers.
“You are.” I catch one of her tears with my thumb. “I love you, Lily. I love your gorgeous face, your hot as fuck body. I love how we come together like magnets. I love how you challenge me. I love how you make me a better person. I love your defiance, your bravery, your quick wit and brilliant mind. I love your pure heart and that you leave some dark shadows in your soul for me to dwell. You are not perfect but you are all my perfects. I love you.”
She scoots back on the bed and pulls me down over her. “I love you, too.” She kisses me and pulls my underwear off. She flips us so I’m on my back and she’s straddling me. She lifts her dress over her head and takes her bra off so she’s left in red lace panties which I’m about to tear off of her. She lets out an adorable irritated growl when I do just that.
“I love p
issing you off,” I smile against her lips. She bites mine in response and I lose all coherent thought. My fingers find their way down to her pussy and plunge inside her wet heat. “You’re already so wet for me, baby. How many times do you think I can make this pretty pussy come in the next twenty minutes?” I glide my fingers over her g-spot which always gives her an almost instant orgasm.
“Oh fuck,” she moans while her nails dig into my shoulders. “It better be at least three otherwise I’m out.” She moans again and I feel her walls spasming around my fingers.
“Just three?” I paint her pussy lips and clit with her juices. “I want Lev and Griff to hear you scream my name so get up here and ride my face, baby.” I grip her by the hips and pull her up past my shoulders. One of her hands goes to the headboard to support herself and the other dives into my hair. I use my fingers and tongue to tease and work her into a frenzy. Her hand pulls my hair and her hips rock against my face. Holy fuck, this is literally my favorite place in the world.
The hand that she had in my hair moves behind her and starts tugging on my dick. She wipes the precum all over the head of my dick, which twitches in her hand. She holds me tightly, just shy of painful as she comes against my tongue.
Her head is resting on her arm that’s still grabbing the headboard. We make eye contact and she smiles down at me, wiping her thumb across my lips.
“All fours.” I command.
She obeys, the only time she does is in bed. Of course. My cock feels like it’s going to explode so I thrust hard into her with no warning. She loves it, arching her back and pushing herself out for more. I wrap my hands around her hips and lose myself to the feel of her perfect pussy hugging my cock tight. I reach my hand under her and pinch her clit until she’s screaming my name and coming again before allowing myself to climax. I groan against her back and cup her breasts as my dick finishes emptying into her.
Cold and Broken (The Titans of Founder's Ridge Book 1) Page 25