by Jamie Beck
Could she even get a pregnancy test down here? Maybe she should she wait until she got home. Yeah, right. Like she could wait another forty-eight hours to find out if she was pregnant. An involuntary shiver passed through her body.
Oh, God. She might be pregnant. A mother-to-be.
A dream come true, except not like this. Not before marriage. Not by a man who didn’t love her.
“Kelsey, is everything okay?” Avery called out from the living room.
Tears sprang to Kelsey’s eyes. How could she have let this happen? How would she tell her friends? And why on earth was some part of her thrilled by the idea even though she knew Trip would rather kiss his brother’s ass than become a father?
A light rap at the door startled her just before Emma popped her head in. “Let’s go!” Emma’s smile faded the instant she saw Kelsey. Her forehead creased and she rushed across the room. “What’s wrong, Kels?”
Words wouldn’t come out, so Kelsey held up the unopened box of tampons and wiped her eyes.
Emma studied the box and turned her confused expression on Kelsey. “I don’t get it. Why are you crying about a box of tampons?”
Avery wandered into the room at that point, eyeing them and listening.
“A box of unopened tampons,” Kelsey corrected, mumbling through her tears.
Emma remained perplexed, but Avery gasped. “Oh, no.”
Kelsey nodded, sniffling. “I might be pregnant.”
“Oh!” Emma dropped the box and covered her mouth with both hands.
“That damn idiot!” Avery barked. “First the big fight in town and now this?”
Kelsey held up her hand. “Stop, Ave. It takes two. Trip didn’t force me into anything I didn’t want to do.”
“You and Trip are having a baby?” Emma started pacing in small circles, muttering, “A baby.”
Avery walked over to sit beside Kelsey. She hesitated, then brushed Kelsey’s hair off her shoulder. “We don’t know anything for sure, yet.” She placed one hand on Kelsey’s thigh and gave a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve been under a lot of stress, which could delay your period. And you wouldn’t be the first person to get queasy in Mexico.”
Kelsey nodded, unsure which option she hoped was true. “You’re right. It could be both of those things.”
“Do you want to get a pregnancy test, or would you rather wait until you get back home?” Emma asked once she’d stopped pacing.
“I don’t think I can wait,” Kelsey admitted.
“Good, because I don’t think I can, either.” Avery sighed before springing up off the bed. “You two wait here. I’ll see if they sell home pregnancy tests in the boutique. If not, I’ll grab a cab to a local pharmacy and see what I can find.”
“We should probably cancel our reservations at the tequila tasting tonight, too,” Emma said to no one in particular, her gaze bouncing all around the room as if she might hit upon some magic solution if she looked hard enough.
Kelsey began crying again. “I’m sorry I’m ruining this trip for you guys.”
“Don’t be silly.” Emma sat down and hugged her. Her gentle voice, full of sincerity and concern, made Kelsey cry harder. “We wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. And anyway, is this really such terrible news? You’ve always wanted to be a mother. If you are pregnant, we will look at the bright side and celebrate together.”
“Thanks, Em.” Kelsey wiped her eyes and squeezed Emma. “You always want everyone to be happy.”
Of course, Avery wasn’t talking sunshine and rainbows. She smoothed her ponytail and then set her hands on her hips. “First things first. Let’s get the facts. Then we’ll celebrate, one way or the other, I guess. Though the idea of Trip being your baby daddy doesn’t exactly make me want to throw a party.”
Avery had always been a bit wary of Trip, worried about his influence over Grey. Not shocking, considering Trip hadn’t been exactly supportive of how Grey had let his feelings for Avery influence certain business and financial decisions this past year.
But while Trip may have projected a certain carefree attitude about life and women, Kelsey knew there was more to him.
She’d spent the past two days thinking about the way he’d wanted to kick the ass of whoever made her cry, how he’d bought her Cowboy and the beautiful hair combs, and all the nice things he’d said to her during the past several weeks. Now she twisted the ends of her hair in her finger and stared at the ground, speaking softly. “He’s not so bad. There’s more to him than what he shows most of the world.”
“I thought you hated him after the whole Mason debacle?” Avery cocked her head.
“I was embarrassed and confused and angry.” Kelsey looked from Avery to Emma, who continued to offer an understanding smile. “But he hunted me down to apologize the next day. He told me he cares about me . . . a lot.”
“So you’re going to forgive him, just like that?” Avery’s mouth hung open in dismay.
“I think he beat up his brother because he thought Mason would hurt me. And I think those accusations Mason made about what Trip told his parents were taken out of context to make it all sound worse than Trip meant them. I guess, yes, I believe Trip’s explanation.” Kelsey looked from Avery to Emma and back again. “And if I’m pregnant, he and I are going to have to talk. At the very least, we need to be friends.”
“Oh, no. I see you spinning dangerous fantasies, Kelsey.” Avery shook her head in frustration. “You think he’s going to embrace this news and marry you now?”
Embrace it? Hardly. At first he’d probably freak out. Worse, he might even blame her, or accuse her of trapping him. The dark thoughts caused a shudder to travel down her spine.
No. He’d always been fair and up-front. For whatever reason, she had faith in him to be reasonable.
With that thought, she met Avery’s skeptical gaze. “I know you think I’m always a fool when it comes to men, but Trip gets me and likes me anyway. I believe I matter to him, even if I know he’d hesitate to make a major commitment.”
“Hesitate?” Avery crossed her arms. “That’s a nice euphemism.”
“Like Grey’s so perfect, Avery?” Kelsey shot a cool stare at her friend, then noticed Emma wince. “It’s true, Em. Grey was the one who coined that ugly nickname.”
“I know.” Avery blushed. “I’m sorry. That was awful. Grey has a terrible habit of giving nicknames without thinking about it.”
Kelsey waved her hand in the air. “Boomerang is the least of my worries right now. Let’s just find a test so I can know, one way or the other, if I’m having a baby.”
“Mason, you’re not pressing charges against your brother.” Ross Cutler’s tone brooked no defiance as he sat at the dining table between his two sons. “I don’t want to hear another word about it.”
For the most part, Trip had been keeping his eyes downcast, which was just as well. He seethed while sitting in the condo Kelsey had picked for Mason, staring at the pricey furniture and high-end kitchen. The condo she might have figured she’d be spending more time in with Mason, which was at least five times nicer than the dumpy apartment Trip and Grey currently shared out of necessity.
“He broke my nose, Dad,” Mason complained. “Why should he get away with it?”
“Because you provoked him by going after Kelsey.”
Mason sat back in his chair and crossed his arms like a petulant kid. “He said he didn’t care about her.”
“Mason, I’m not stupid. It’s more than a coincidence you ended up on a date with that poor girl. Aren’t you ashamed of using her as a pawn just to needle Gunner?” Their dad shook his head. “Honestly, I can’t believe you two. It’s like you’re trying to give me another heart attack.”
At least this time, with Kelsey nowhere in sight, Mason didn’t deny the real motive for that “date.”
Then his Dad turned his ire on him. “Gunner, at the very least you owe Mason, Deb, and me an apology. You’re lucky those cops pulled you off your brother
before something worse happened.”
Trip tensed his fists. Heat raced to his face. He couldn’t deny the truth. He’d been like a wild animal that night.
“I know, Dad.” He looked across the table at Mason. “I’m sorry I roughed you up. I was pretty shitfaced when I ran into you and Kelsey. I snapped. I just snapped.”
“Mason,” their dad interrupted. “When you were younger, I was battling a lot of guilt over what I’d done, so I empathized with your struggle to accept the changes in our family, to accept your brother. But why the hell haven’t you outgrown it? This taunting and bullshit has got to stop.” Then he looked at Trip. “And isn’t it time you started making some effort to be part of this family?”
Trip abruptly pushed back from the table and walked into the living room, running his hands through his hair. This conversation had been put off too long, but he hated having it in front of Mason.
“Where are you going?” his dad asked.
Trip inhaled slowly, his throat tightening in anticipation of offending his father, his eyes stinging like a sissy, making him feel like that ten-year-old boy again.
“Look, I’m sorry I beat him up, but I won’t lie. It was a long time coming. And unlike you, I don’t have empathy for poor little Mason’s imperfect family.” He gripped the back of a random chair in the living room, squeezing it until his knuckles turned white. His gaze shifted from Mason’s smug expression to his father’s flabbergasted one. “You all talk about how you were affected back then. My mother died. I got yanked away from my friends and grandfather and then plopped into a house with two people who resented me, and a father who considered me an obligation.” Despite hearing his voice crack, he forced himself to continue, although now he averted his gaze. “I did everything I could to fit in, then to be invisible, and then when I finally walked away, you all gave me shit about that, too.” A sense of defeat made his legs feel heavy as he walked back to the table. “Dad, if you hadn’t sent Mason here in some attempt to force a family bond that’s never going to exist, none of this would’ve happened.”
“So this is my fault?” His dad scoffed.
“I don’t mean it like that, but why can’t you just accept that this,” Trip circled his hand among the three men, “isn’t meant to be?”
“Because it is meant to be. Like it or not, you’re my son, and you two are brothers. Maybe you weren’t planned, but there’s a reason you’re my son.” His dad stood and looked at Mason. “I need a few minutes alone with your brother. Can you go in your bedroom or take a walk?”
“Even when he’s a jerk, you treat him with kid gloves.” Mason slammed his fist on the table before shoving away and rising from his chair. “What the hell, Dad? This is my house.”
“Mason, sometimes you’re as obstinate as your mother.” Then their dad turned to Trip. “Take a walk out on the deck with me.”
Once they were sitting outside with the slider closed, his father spoke with a steady, clear voice. “You and I need to finally clear the air. I don’t mean to speak ill of the dead, but I can’t help it if your mother chose to keep me out of your life until she got sick. If I had known she was pregnant, maybe things would have been different for all of us. So instead of only blaming me or Mason or Deb for this chronic distance between us, maybe you could remember that your mom had a hand in how this all turned out, too.”
Trip’s blood ignited; his chest tightened. He locked his hands behind his head and closed his elbows together while he counted to ten. The last thing he wanted was to cause his father to have another heart attack, but his thoughts were boiling.
Rather than trigger another disaster, he slowly blew out his breath. “Tread lightly, Dad. My mother chose to be a single mom rather than disrupt your family.”
“She made a tough choice, and maybe you see it as unselfish. But no matter what you say, she kept my son from me for almost ten years. She robbed me of time I’ll never get back, and that decision has affected our entire relationship.”
A September breeze sent a shiver down Trip’s spine. He looked across the rooftops in town, toward the San Juan mountains. Memories of his mother rushed forward and lodged themselves in his throat. Maybe his dad had a point, but Trip wasn’t ready to admit his mother’s decisions had negative consequences.
“My mom was loving and warm and worked her ass off to raise me, so I’m not going to sit here and let you badmouth her when she’s not even here to defend herself.” Trip leaned forward and looked his dad in the eye, remembering all the things he’d overheard while living under Deb’s roof. “When I first moved in, I thought maybe you were happy to have me there. Maybe you started to love me. But then I heard you tell Mason that I wasn’t wanted like him, and that you took me in because you couldn’t be a man who didn’t take care of his mistakes.”
“I never said that!” His father’s adamant expression and tone caught Trip by surprise.
“Yes, you did. It was after my eighth grade football championship game. I’d snuck back down to the kitchen for a snack late at night and you were consoling Mason because he was whining about me again.”
“Then you misheard or misunderstood what I said, Gunner.” His dad leaned forward and reached across the table to lay his hand on Trip’s forearm.
Trip sat back, hands rubbing his thighs, eyes downcast, emotional exhaustion making his body ten times heavier. “I don’t blame you, you know. You didn’t plan for me. You never loved my mom or wanted a kid with her. And still you took me in, gave me every opportunity, and we had fun together when it was just the two of us.” He met his father’s gaze. “I respect and love you for all of it, ’cause I know it wasn’t easy. But let’s just be honest and admit that we’ll never be father and son the way you and Mason are, and Mason and I will never see eye to eye.”
His dad seized his hand and squeezed it tight, his voice determined. “You’re right about one thing, it wasn’t easy. I was ashamed to face my wife, to face Mason after setting such a bad example. But your conclusions are all wrong. My shame had nothing to do with you. It didn’t detract from the thrill of meeting you. You think I don’t look at you and love seeing the things we have in common? You think I’m not proud when I talk about you to my friends? I’ve done and said everything I could think of to let you know that you are as much my son as Mason is. I love both my boys, even if you are as different as night and day.”
Trip’s nose tingled and his eyes burned. His skin itched and he wanted to run far and fast, away from this conversation, away from his brother, and away from his past. His dad released his hand and raked his own through his hair.
“Gunner, what’s the deal with this girl? Do you care about her, or do you just want to keep her from Mason?” He raised one brow. “I hear you’ve got the sellers of some land asking for all kinds of studies from Wade, which Mason said could screw up the deal Kelsey’s been putting together. And you were pretty convincing when you told me you weren’t interested in her.”
“Kelsey knows my position on that deal. We don’t see eye to eye, but it’s not personal. When I told you about Kelsey, I didn’t think I was interested, but then I got to know her better.” Trip shifted in his seat and looked across the street, shrugging. “I’m not looking for a lifetime commitment with anyone, but she matters to me.”
“No lifetime commitments with anyone, eh? I’ve never thought of you as a coward, son.”
“I’m not a coward!” Trip scowled. “You think I don’t see how much I’m like you? I don’t want to make promises I’m not sure I can keep. One woman for the rest of my life sounds like an impossible vow, so I’d rather steer clear so no one gets hurt.”
“Huh. And how’s that working so far? Is Kelsey hurt? Mason? You?” His dad stood up and gripped the railing of the deck. “I’ve already admitted I’m not proud of how I betrayed Deb, but I can’t say I regret it, either, ’cause I got you. People are human, Gunner. We make mistakes. The best you can do is own them, try to make up for them, and try not to repeat them.
But if you live your whole life trying to avoid them, you’ll never be happy.”
Trip scrubbed his face with both hands, emotionally wrung out. “Maybe.”
“No maybes about it.” Then his dad started walking to the slider. “I think I’ve said all I can to you for one day. Let’s go inside and see if I can’t find some way to get Mason to back off these assault charges.”
Trip stood and began to follow his dad inside when his phone beeped. “I’ll be in in a sec.”
Once his dad disappeared inside, Trip looked at his phone and his heart sped up.
I’ll be home tomorrow. Have something important to discuss. Can you come over at 5?
Trip stared at the cryptic message, his heart in his throat. He typed:
C U @ 5.
After hitting Send, he sighed, knowing he’d spend the next twenty-four hours eagerly awaiting the chance to see Kelsey again, while wondering what she wanted to discuss.
Chapter Thirteen
Trip approached Kelsey’s building, his breath foggy in the dusky evening air. El Niño had the weathermen predicting the first snow could fall any day. Yet before he could start getting excited about long days skiing knee-deep in powder, he needed to set things right with Kelsey.
He had no idea what to expect this evening, but he had hopes. First and foremost: forgiveness. He’d be stuck in a mental prison until she pardoned his bad behavior. Secondly, he hoped she had no interest in Mason. A shiver danced down his spine at the thought of how he’d deal with the opposite scenario. Third, he wanted a chance to pick up where they’d left off. That would be trickiest of all, and probably the least likely. But he’d never shied away from anything he’d wanted in his life, and he sure wouldn’t start tonight.
Gripping the bottle of Brunello di Montalcino in his left hand, he drew a deep breath before pressing her door buzzer. He’d bungled his apology last week, so this time he’d brought her something he knew she’d love, unlike the lilies she’d tossed aside.