by K. C. Hamby
I hurry to the bar and purchase our drinks. The flirty bartender seems to recognize me, but his eyebrows raise at my appearance.
“Here you go, honey.” He slides the drinks to me and I give him a tip. He kisses the air in my direction and I dip out of there. Weird.
I walk briskly back to the booth, avoiding all eye contact with everyone I pass. I plop back in the booth and slide Ash and Invidia their drinks.
“You okay?” Ash asks. I must look how I feel, which is uncomfortable. I eye Invidia and she throws me this knowing look.
“Did you get hit on?” She waggles her brows.
“No, just a lot of awkward and uncomfortable stares,” I admit bashfully and take a swig of my drink. I welcome the burning wood sensation of whiskey as it slides down my throat.
“Look what I got.” Ash slaps a box on the table, proud of himself. I lean across the table to get a better look.
“Oh hell yes.” It’s Plays Against Mankind. Even though I don’t understand a lot of the TV or movie references, I still love this game.
I have to admit, it isn’t super fun with three people, but I’ve always played with Ash and two of his friends since I don’t have any of my own. We make it work. The alcohol flowing through our blood probably helps the game become a lot more fun. We end the game after Ash’s win of “Ain’t no sunshine when she’s getting humped by a vicious chihuahua” because I’m laughing so hard, Jack and Coke is threatening to come out of my nose and Invidia is close to rolling on the dirty ass floor of this place laughing.
After we compose ourselves, Invidia volunteers to buy the next round of drinks and skips toward the bar. Ash watches her go with such adoration I want to puke. He drags his attention to me with lowered eyelids.
“Do you like her, Fal Pal?” He uses the nickname and I act like I want to punch him. I don’t really care, but I’ll never tell him.
“Yeah, she’s okay.” I can tell he really wants my approval. “But, you owe me big time for this,” I say and circle around my face with my finger, making it clear that I mean the makeover I was forced into. He smirks at me and I sneer back.
“I’ll pay you back somehow.” I take the moment to punch him in the shoulder as payback and he stiffens under my fist, but he doesn’t flinch.
“Ah, Flinchy is getting better,” I taunt and laugh out loud. Invidia bounces back into the booth. She slides my drink to me and I take my first few sips a little too quickly. Invidia downs hers in a few gulps and tugs on Ash’s arm.
“I want to go dance,” she whines and bats her eyelashes and my brother melts at her feet. He side-eyes me.
“Go, geez. I’m a big girl who can be by herself.” I shoo them off with my hands and they stumble to the dance floor.
I haven’t felt like the third wheel all night until now. I mean, I know I am, but they haven’t been treating me like I am. I guess I’m just very aware of the loneliness. The whiskey is toying with my emotions and adding fuel to the fire of emptiness. I take another sip of my drink, knowing it’s a bad idea but not being able to stop myself. I need the alcohol to muddle my mind. I lean my head back and let the music flow to my ears.
Hey, I know this song. I listen to the vibrations of the dubstep version of Ah Admiration’s “Affect” seep out of the speakers all around me.
You got sparkles in your eyes, alright,
Tossing shade, trying to make them fight.
You’re tripping over your own feet tonight,
And failing bad enough to cause a fright.
I lift my head up from the cushion and watch the dancing people having the time of their lives. They aren’t worried about anything other than the moment they’re in now. I catch a glimpse of Ash and Invidia dancing close together. He looks so happy and I’m glad for him, but I can’t help but to be slightly jealous.
I shake it off. I chose this.
I watch the pulsing bodies move to the music, trying to soak up their fun into my blood and let it mix with the alcohol already clouding and flooding through my veins.
That’s when my eyes land on her.
She’s in the middle of everyone like she doesn’t have a care in the world.
Nina.
I think I stop breathing. She’s wearing a black, long sleeve, flower print top with a slightly deep V in the front. The sleeves are flowy and the top comes down to her mid-waist, so her lower stomach is visible. Dark, tight pants show off her slight curves and her short, black boots move to the beat of the music. All of it is flattering every part of her body.
My face warms at the thought, but I can’t stop staring at her.
What do I do? Do I go up to her? I’d have to apologize.
Wait, no. I’m not supposed to be around her. Do I leave? Do I just pretend I haven’t seen her? But, what if she sees me?
Someone slides into Ash and Invidia’s side of the circular booth I’m in. If it’s them, they didn’t dance very long. I’m too focused on Nina to care, anyway.
“Hey pretty lady. You look lonely,” comes from a raspy, slurring voice beside me. I tear my eyes away from Nina to glare at the idiot who has the audacity to talk to me in such a way. My eyes lock with a blonde guy in a blue button-down who reeks of alcohol and arrogance. He slides closer to me.
“I’m fine,” I clip off and turn my attention back to Nina.
“You look like you need a good man to dance with.” His words slur, trying again to get my attention.
“Again, I’m fine,” I grit out through my teeth and don’t even take the time to look at him. I just watch Nina dance and enjoy herself.
His hand slaps down way too high up on my thigh and he digs his nails in. I whip my head back and lock daggered eyes on him, rage burning in my chest. My wolf stirs.
“I said, you need a good man to dance with.” He emphasizes his words by tightening his grip, but it only fuels my rage.
I sneer down at his nasty hand on my thigh. I slowly meet his eyes and let a smile play on my lips. I lightly place my hand on his and he smiles back at me in victory.
I yank his hand backwards—nearly breaking his wrist—and hold it while I pull out my dagger from my jacket and jam the blade into the table between the fingers of his other hand, narrowly missing them. His eyes widen in pain and fear and I let it flow through me, feeding the hunger of my wolf.
“And I said I’m fine,” I snarl through my sneer. I push him away from me and pull my dagger from the table, hooking it back into my jacket. He slides out of the booth as fast as his alcohol inhibited body will let him, holding his wrist and yelling something about me being a crazy bitch.
I blow a breath from my nose with annoyance and look through the crowd to find Nina again.
I hold in another snarl.
There’s Nina. Nina and Sara. Nina is still dancing her heart out and Sara is glaring at me. We make eye contact and a venomous smile plays across her mouth. She moves behind Nina, placing her hands on Nina’s hips. With every beat of the speakers, Sara moves herself closer until they’re right up against each other, touching and moving together.
My wolf pushes. I want to rip Sara apart. My hands shake with the need to wrap my hands around her throat. Why isn’t Nina moving away?
I’m about to get up and move Sara for her when I stop dead in my tracks.
Sara slides her hands up Nina’s sides and wraps her hand around Nina’s breasts, kissing her neck.
I can’t breathe. My wolf howls in rage and pain in my chest and I tear my eyes away. I throw back the rest of my drink, get up as it burns down my throat, and make a B-line for the restroom past the bar. I skip everyone in line, but no one questions me. Why would they? I can’t imagine how deadly I look. I lock myself in a stall, lean against the door, and try to catch my breath.
What the hell is going on with me?
I slap my hand on my forehead. It’s not rational or healthy for me to have the urge to kill Sara because she’s touching Nina. The alcohol has my head swimming and not making it easier for me to und
erstand my reaction to what just happened.
All I know is this is no longer leftover protectiveness. This is present day protectiveness.
Why did Nina let it happen? Did she change her mind about Sara? My chest aches at the thought of her wanting Sara to touch her like that and I don’t understand why.
I have to pull myself together.
I slow my breathing, straighten out my clothes, roll my shoulders back, and open the stall door. I breeze past everyone who’s decided it’s Stare at Fal Day and make it back to the booth. Ash and Invidia are still dancing and I don’t want to ruin their fun by calling the night early, so I try to stare at a spot on the wall at the other end of the dance floor.
But, alas, I don’t have any self-control. My eyes slip to where I last saw Nina and there she is, dancing with a little less livelihood than before I ran off to the restroom. I can’t find Sara anywhere. My brow furrows in confusion.
I pull my attention back to Nina and someone approaches her. A growl slips through my teeth. It’s the same guy that grabbed me. He gives Nina a once-over from behind like I’ve see Sara do and I tense. Nina isn’t paying attention when he moves closer to dance with her.
He is slinking closer like Sara did. I grab the edge of the table and hope it prevents me from flying across the room and sinking my knife in the bastard’s throat.
Nina turns around. She clearly tells him no and shakes her head. She turns back around and continues dancing. The guy scoffs and makes a move on her again. I jerk in their direction, but remind myself I need to stay my ass right here in the booth.
She turns around, pushes him off her, and yells at him to go away. This gets the attention of a few people around her, but they go back to their dancing and Nina shuffles to a different spot, trying to get some distance between her and the creep. He watches her for a few seconds and my blood boils at the way he’s eyeing her.
He smirks and starts for her again.
I can’t stop myself this time. I’m up and moving in their direction.
He grabs her backside and roughly pulls her to his chest. I’m pushing humans out of the way as fast as I can, trying to get my hands on him. My wolf moves my feet at a deadly pace.
Nina pulls herself away, punches him in the stomach, and knees him in the face when he bends over in an attempt to catch his breath. I gasp.
Seeing her do that stirs something in me and it almost makes me stop. It’s tingling and it’s fire on my skin.
I shake myself back to reality. I’m almost there when he recovers and rears back to hit her.
I launch myself at him, catch his fist in my hand, and plant my boot in his stomach. His back makes a loud thud in time with the music when he hits the dance floor. He scrambles up, pulling in ragged breaths and I hook him with my left fist while red tints my vision. My wolf is making my skin tingle and only wants one thing.
Blood.
I vaguely hear something being yelled behind me.
I’m about to punch him again when my name registers in my ears.
“Fal!” Nina yells sternly and my vision clears. The guy is on the floor with a bleeding nose and fear in his eyes as if I were going to kill him. I turn around and meet Nina’s gaze, realizing a few people are staring. She looks around, grabs my arm, and hauls me in the direction of the exit. We weave through dancing people—her hand firmly grasping my wrist—and finally make it to the door. My head clears of the rage and my wolf when the cold, spring air hits my face.
Nina continues pulling me away from the building and the people standing outside smoking. Far enough away so we don’t attract attention. She drops my arm and faces me with her eyes filled with rage of her own.
“What the fuck was that?” she flings the question at me while gesturing back to The Paint Can and I’m caught off guard by her foul mouth. She sticks a finger in my face and I flinch. “You leave me in the middle of the street with no explanation and you think you can just show up here and…be a superhero?” she spits, breathing heavily and letting her anger pour out. It’s like I’m drowning in it. “I can take care of my own damn self!”
“That guy was about to hit you.” I try to argue, but there’s no conviction in my words. I know I was, and still am, out of line.
But he was going to hurt her. My wolf insists.
“I could have just moved out of the way! He was absolutely wasted; drunk enough to have alcohol poisoning.” She crosses her arms across her chest and huffs angrily.
I know she’s right. The alcohol is messing with my head. I take in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize weakly. “I just couldn’t let you get hurt.” She glares at me incredulously.
“Why?” she demands with a sharp enough tone to cut my soul in half. I furrow my brow, trying to understand these feelings and why I would rather fall to my death than let someone hurt her.
“Because…I care.” I know it sounds so pathetic, but I don’t know what else to say.
“Well, you sure as hell have a funny way of showing it.” She cuts a little deeper with her words. She turns to walk off and I find myself needing answers.
“Why? Because I don’t do it like Sara?” I snap and Nina whips her head around with fire in her eyes.
I immediately regret saying it. I wish I could pull the words back into my dumbass mouth.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, I saw you two dancing together and..”
“And what?” She fumes, waiting for me to finish.
“I saw Sara touch you and…and kiss you, Nina.” I say it almost desperately, wanting what I saw not to be true and I don’t know why. Nina scoffs.
“Did you also see me push her away and tell her to screw off?” She locks her stormy blue eyes on me and arches an eyebrow. Her wavy hair blows across her face and she pushes it behind her ear.
“No.” I duck my head in shame to avoid her eyes. I’m completely at a loss. I’m at her mercy and I’ve never been so vulnerable. I’m an Alpha. I’m not supposed to submit to anyone. She shouldn’t be able to bring me to my knees like this, but here I am, figuratively exposing my neck to her.
“Why do you care anyway, Fal?”
I don’t know what to say.
“I don’t know,” I admit and that’s the truth. I peer up, meeting her sapphire eyes and she’s searching mine, looking for something I can’t give her. She deflates and lets out an exasperated sigh.
“Will you walk me home?”
I blink in surprise. I didn’t think she would want to see my face ever again, much less ask me to walk her home.
I know I should say no. I should walk back inside and push Nina out of my mind for good. I need to let all thoughts of her die out like a flame cut off from oxygen. The alcohol and my mouth have different ideas, though.
“Sure,” is what I say instead.
Chapter 18
We walk down the street I again recognize as the one Nina said she lives on. My head is still swimming from the alcohol and I become extremely aware of how terrible of a position I’ve put myself and Nina in right now. I’m not drunk, but I’m not sober either. If a Poacher attacked us, I’m not sure I would be able to win the fight unscathed and with Nina intact. This is dangerous and I’m an idiot for risking Nina’s life.
I take slow, deep breaths, allowing the cool air to clear my head. With every breath I take, my body fights off more of the alcohol, but it’s a slow process. It’s definitely faster than a human’s ability to sober up, but it’s not fast enough for my liking.
I cut my eyes around and take in every alley, every shadow, every movement I see. Nina is staring at me from the corner of her eye. I can’t even imagine what I look like to her right now.
“Are you always like this?”
“Like this? No. This is the work of my brother’s girlfriend.” I gesture at my face and continue searching the dark for danger. She laughs and my heart does a strange flip.
“No, I mean are
you always on edge?” My eyes stop searching around us and instead move to her to instead search for the meaning behind what she’s asking. I find nothing but concern and the inability to pull my eyes away from hers.
“There are dangerous things in this city.” I free my eyes from her alluring gaze. “It’s bad for me if I’m not like this.” Nina doesn’t say anything for a few minutes and I wonder if I’ve said something wrong.
“Do you ever truly relax?” I think about it and snort out a laugh.
“I’m only relaxed when I’m sleeping and that’s only if I don’t have nightmares.”
As soon as I say it, I wonder why I let that much about me slip from my lips and right into her grasp. It’s really personal. I haven’t even shared the fact I have nightmares with Ash. The nightmare involving Nina and Damien intrudes on my thoughts and a cold shock rolls up my spine. A small growl slides through my teeth.
My eyes grow wide. It was small, but it sounded just like the wolf I have inside. I don’t look at Nina. She doesn’t say anything, though. I try to think of excuses to leave again when her hand grabs mine, squeezing softly. Her skin is smooth and soft. The gesture is small, but comfort washes over me. She drops her hand and I find myself wanting it back in mine; wanting to have its comfort soaking in my skin instead of the cold it leaves behind.
I look at her, but not how I’ve been looking at her. I’ve kept her at arm’s length. I’ve been seeing her with no emotion and from a distance, but now I really gaze at her with nothing holding me back. My hazy mind is clearing and the realization of how beautiful she is floods my whole being. She’s feisty. She’s caring. Other than Nathan, she’s the only person I’ve met that’s never once been intimidated by me. She faces me head-on without fear and never backs down.
I realize for the first time...my loneliness disappears when I’m around her. She’s never once made me feel like there is something wrong with me or my scar. She’s never made me feel like I can’t trust her. She’s smart and funny. She acts like she wants to be around me and, for some reason, she cares about me. Or at least I think she does.