"I'll finance your film, in full. You can make it exactly how you want to make it. No restrictions and no-one interfering."
By this point, Arun had figured out where Cody's tale was heading and, even though he knew it shouldn't, it made Cody even more alluring to him. Hearing Cody say it out loud though, and without any apparent catch, caught Arun by surprise. He remained where he was, trying to find the right words to say.
"I could kiss you," he said, pretty sure that those weren't the right words to say, but not caring either way.
Cody mumbled something, the declaration taking him by surprise. He wanted to say yes, do so immediately, but also wanted to be much more suave than that. The result was an incoherent mess of sound.
Arun seized the opportunity, sensing what Cody's reaction might mean, and took control. He stepped forward, grabbed each side of Cody's face and planted a kiss on his forehead.
Cody closed his eyes. The warmth of Arun's hands felt wonderful. He could smell the heat of the alcohol on Arun's breath, mixed with whatever cologne he had on. He could still feel the wetness of Arun's lips on his head. He'd never been this close to another man before and it was sublime.
He placed his hands on top of Arun's.
"Do you want to kiss me a little further down?"
Arun kissed him on the nose. Cody giggled. He didn't care how it made him sound.
Arun kissed him on the lips. It was passionate and full-bodied, as though lives depended on it. Cody felt as though he might collapse. It was a tempting image, flat on his back with Arun's weight on him.
"Was all this talk of financing my movie just so you could get into my pants? In true Hollywood fashion."
"Not at all. It's merely a bonus."
Laughing, Arun pushed him backwards and straddled him on the bed, looking down and into his eyes. There burned a desire in them that matched his own.
They kissed again, fumbling at buttons as they did so. Shirts came off and Arun kissed Cody's chin, then his neck, moving slowly down his body, an explorer on a path towards the treasure.
PART TWO
Filming
On the set of the fourth Blake Lancaster movie, where they'd been filming for a little over two weeks now, Cody stood with his hands on his hips and a grumpy expression on his face. The sky had darkened and the rain had just begun to fall, quickly turning heavy. Seeing that it wasn't about to pass over any time soon, the director had called things to a halt but Cody, who had gotten himself into character, remained where he was in a sort of trance. He was brought out of it by the sound of a voice, telling him that he ought to get back to his trailer. Cody turned his head in the direction of where the voice had come from. He saw his assistant standing there, holding a clipboard over his head. Cody closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath. Why did everything have to be so difficult? He took long strides across the increasingly muddy ground and pushed past his assistant. Crossing the parking lot, he headed up to his trailer, taking the steps into it two at a time. Alistair, a twenty-four year old with short brown hair and nerdy glasses, clipboard still aloft, raced into the trailer after him.
"I'm sure it'll only be a short delay," he said, heading straight to the bathroom to grab a couple of towels. He came back into the living area and offered one to Cody.
"Did you not perhaps think to bring an umbrella?" He grabbed the towel from him and patted his face dry.
"I'm so sorry. I checked the forecast but there was no mention of rain."
"It's sure as shit raining now though isn't it."
Alistair was lithe and cute (which Cody would never admit had played a part in his being hired) but right now none of that mattered. As far as Cody was concerned, he was annoying and not doing his job properly. They were getting ready to shoot an important scene in the movie when the heavens had opened, delaying things for a while, and it had infuriated Cody, who, as anyone on set would tell you, had not been in the best of moods right from the very beginning.
"Should I get you something to drink?" Alistair asked the question timidly, without looking at Cody. "Or a snack maybe?"
Cody's face was tight as he threw a glance his assistant's way, only for it to loosen when he saw Alistair's face. He knew he was being cruel to the lad but couldn't figure out why he was being like this, though he was sure that it wasn't because of the weather.
"No," he said, then, after a short pause, "thanks," though it still didn't sound particularly sincere.
Alistair busied himself in the trailer, straightening things and picking up bits of fluff and dirt here and there, pocketing them like a human vacuum cleaner. Cody dropped onto one of the sofas, opposite the large television that was on the side wall. He reached to grab the remote, only to find that it wasn't there. Leaping across to where it lay (which was outside of arms reach) Alistair grabbed it and handed it to Cody. Cody snatched it off him, that being as much of a show of displeasure as he thought it warranted (though again, he was tempted to let off rather more steam) and flicked through the channels, which only made his mood even more sour. After a few minutes of silence between the two of them, Alistair ventured a question.
"How long do you think this rain will last for?" he said, peering out of the window and seeing that the rain was bouncing off everything.
It was not the cleverest of questions to ask, so it was fortunate that he had his back to Cody and so could therefore not see his face.
"I have no idea," said Cody, shaking his head to himself and rolling his eyes. His face contorted into a sneer and derogatory words popped across his mind (though he kept them to himself).
Alistair spun around and tilted his head. "Is everything okay?"
"It's fine," said Cody, almost tacking an apology onto the end. "I'm fine. You know what, why don't you leave me alone for a bit and just give me a shout when they're ready to shoot again."
"Okay. You're sure you don't want me to make you something to eat first? How about a banana?"
It was like being married. At least, that's how it seemed to Cody that a marriage would be, one half of the pair constantly nagging and getting under the other's skin, as they regretted even getting involved with each other in the first place. Or maybe that's just what being married to Alistair would be like. Yeah, he was pretty but... urgh.
"No, nothing. Thank you." He flicked his wrist in the direction of the door. "Go and amuse yourself for a bit."
"No worries," said Alistair, brightly (though it was a cover for how he really felt). "I'll call you when they're ready. Or give you a knock."
"Yes, whatever. Just make sure I'm not disturbed."
Telling Alistair to go and amuse himself for a bit had conjured up an image, that he had an inclination to replicate, but instead, once Alistair had finally left (he seemed to dither about a bit first), he grabbed his phone and made a call.
In a cosy living room, in a small mid-terrace house somewhere in Manchester, sat on a upright wingback chair that had seen better days, Arun closed the book he was reading (a trashy erotic thriller, the kind he liked to read when he needed a reminder of how not to write) and peered over at his phone, smiling when he saw who was calling him.
"Evening, trouble."
"Alright handsome. It's not too late there is it?"
"No it's fine, don't worry. Never too late for you. How's it going?"
"Fucking terrible. You? What you up to?"
"I was just reading."
Cody sighed with jealousy. "That sounds so nice and relaxing."
"It is," said Arun, shuffling in his seat so he was sitting more upright.
"I wish this fucking shoot was more relaxing. It's just been one nightmare after another. I'd forgotten how difficult these big budget films can be."
"I thought you were all masters of those things now?"
"Yeah, we are, but none of us have figured out how to control the weather yet and it's properly starting to piss me off."
"There's not really anything you can do about it though, is there."
&n
bsp; "No, I know, it's just that it keeps raining without any warning. You check the forecast and plan accordingly, thinking it'll stay dry and then bam! It pisses it down. I was so pumped up for making this film and now everything's starting to annoy me. I'm even snapping at Alistair now."
"Alistair?"
"My assistant."
Arun breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Ah, yes. He annoys you anyway though, doesn't he?"
"I can usually keep it in check though. He is good at what he does."
"Do you want to talk about it, or do you just want to vent." He brought his knees up and wrapped his free arm around them. "I'm happy to lend an ear either way."
"Sorry. No, it's good. Sorry, it's probably just because there's so much resting on this film. It'll be that that's got me wound up."
"There's not really that much resting on it though is there. I know the last one wasn't critically adored like the first two, but it made money, yeah? And audiences seemed to love it. You could just do more of the same and it'd be okay."
"I don't want to do more of the same."
"No, I know that. Anyway, you've said yourself that the studio has already got plans for spin offs and reboots, so I really don't see why you think there's so much pressure on this one."
"Yeah, well, things aren't that simple." There was a tone to his voice. "Have you ever worked on a film this size?"
He might have phrased it as a question but Arun knew it was more a statement than anything.
"No," he said simply. This was a side of Cody that he'd already seen before and it was off-putting enough that he was tempted to simply hang up and let him stew. Perhaps this was the real Cody and the version he'd spent two days with a couple of weeks ago was not.
But the frostiness to Arun's curt reply cut through Cody. He'd felt a twinge of guilt for talking to Alistair the way he did, but it wasn't enough to make him do anything about it. This, however, stabbed at him quite deeply.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I shouldn't be taking any of this out on you." He sighed heavily. "I really don't know what's wrong with me. We had all these problems on the last two films and it made no difference. I just got on with it. I don't know why I can't do the same now."
Arun had an idea as to why, but kept it to himself. Cody had spoken about how he'd planned for the change in his career that would surely come at some point. It seemed likely to Arun that he was in the midst of that change, but unaware of its happening.
"I think you just need to take a breather for an hour or two. Relax for a bit."
"You know what I'd love to be doing? Reliving those two days we spent at the hotel."
Arun laughed. That would be pretty damn good. They hadn't seen each other since then (though they'd talked and video-chatted a lot). Any thoughts of hanging up on Cody had vanished, playful ideas replacing them.
"Just imagine that I'm playing with your feet again," he said.
In the hotel room, in the early hours of the morning, post-awards show and, now, post-sex, Arun sat atop the white duvet, comfortably naked, gently rubbing his fingers between Cody's toes. "It's not the weirdest fetish," he said. "I have definitely been asked to do worse."
Cody, who was lying on the bed, also naked, stretched out with his feet on Arun's crossed legs, raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. "You do have a way of bringing out the weird in people."
The first time they'd had sex—last night, after the awards show party—Cody hadn't dared suggest anything out of the ordinary. It was more than enough to actually be this intimate with another man. But they'd woken up the next day, tired, hung over but still horny, and Arun had been considerate and playful with his tenderness towards Cody, his kisses and touches making him feel as though it would be possible to be a lot more honest about who he was and what he liked. So he said it. Out loud. And it didn't get the look of derision or disgust that he'd always feared. It simply got Arun heading south again, pausing midway for another taste, until he went all the way down and began licking and sucking on Cody's toes, rubbing at his feet as his tongue explored. Cody hadn't experienced anything like it before. He always knew that it would be something that he would like—his hygiene routines in that area often got him hard—but he never thought it'd be like this, a heat taking over him as he lay there and got lost in it, his back arching, fingers grasping at the bed sheets. He ought to have given some consideration for what Arun might enjoy, to slow down so they could experience this together, but it was so much of a thrill, of a satisfaction from years of pent up hiding, that he came quickly and explosively. Arun made his way back up—again stopping halfway—and rested his head on Cody's shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, in silence, as Cody held onto Arun as tightly as he could.
It was half an hour later, after Arun had been to use the bathroom, that he came back and started to play with Cody again.
"Like I said, it's not weird. We all have our kinks."
"How many fetishes have you been a part of?" said Cody, putting his hands behind his head and breathing slowly, wanting the experience to last longer this time.
"One or two."
"Out of how many?"
Arun laughed. "One or two."
"You don't have to tell me."
"I know." He smiled. "One guy wanted me to dress in his wife's clothes." He noted Cody's face as he sat up. "Yeah, I know. I had no idea he was married."
"So... did you?" He pulled his feet away and sat cross-legged, mirroring Arun.
"I did, actually. She had some nice stuff and, you know what, I looked good in that dress. A figure-hugging blue number. Shoes to match, which were not comfortable."
"Is that the kind of stuff you're into?"
"No. It was harmless enough, apart from him being married of course. To a woman. But he was, like, super hot. I mean crazy hot. I was never going to see him after that anyway. I'd already decided that as soon as he told me. But I was there and—" He shrugged his shoulders, suppressing a grin.
"You little home-wrecker," said Cody, laughing. Arun laughed too, the pair of them holding each other's gaze. "What about the other time."
"Ah," said Arun. He slapped at his knees, giddy at the memory. "He wanted me to pee on him."
Cody sucked in his breath.
Arun's eyes widened in agreement. "I grabbed my clothes and ran."
"That was the line, was it?"
"No, I think that was way over the line."
"I see." Cody bit his lip and considered what he wanted to say. "So, did you suck my toes because it's on the right side of the line, or did you just do it because I'm super hot?"
"And super modest!" He grinned broadly. "No, like I said, it's not even close to being weird. I'm not even sure it is a fetish. Is it?"
"It feels out of the ordinary to me."
"Okay, fair enough." Arun grabbed Cody's knees and dragged him closer, taking hold of his hands. "Now then, what freaky shit have you come across?"
"Nothing," said Cody, casually.
"None of the guys you've slept with have made you take a step back and go Whoa!?"
Cody pulled his hands out of Arun's grip and looked away. "I've never slept with a man before."
Funny how he didn't have to consider anything before he said it. It was just there, ready and waiting, as though he'd meant to tell Arun all along. Arun said nothing for a moment. He reached over and re-took hold of Cody's hands, looking at him with kindness. It felt to Cody as though this was why he'd subconsciously planned to tell him, because he would be okay with it. He wouldn't mock him or be put off by it. Cody knew that Arun would accept it as a simple fact, regardless of how sad or tragic it might seem to him.
"Does that mean that I was your first?"
"The first one that meant anything."
Arun processed that confession. It was sweet. Pretty adorable actually. But as Cody's words seeped further into his mind, Arun was able to decode what lay behind them - that Cody had slept with women.
He cocked his head. "With the greatest of respec
t, why the hell would you do that?"
Cody pulled away, shuffling back to the top of the bed. He rearranged the pillows, bashing them into shape behind him, struck by how suddenly uncomfortable they felt.
Looking back, he had to agree. Why the hell had he slept with women? He'd gotten no enjoyment out of it (though there were a couple of times when it was a much needed release) and he was quite sure that the women themselves hadn't got what they'd hoped for. But back then, it felt like something he had to do. It was systemic of Hollywood. Of the entire movie industry, something that Arun probably knew all about. For people like Cody, there was only one way to be. Cody had always wanted to be a movie star. Not just an actor. A star. That, to him, was a much bigger priority than anything else. So, in order for that dream to come true, he had to hide certain parts of himself. He'd kept his secret for a long time and was perfectly content to keep doing so.
At the start, all he could get was small parts, a few roles here and there, some with dialogue, most without. Just stand in the background and look pretty. The pay was less than good, but the exposure was great. He got to see what it was like to be on a film set. To be around those who had already become what he wanted to be. The long hours of doing nothing didn't put him off in the slightest. It was simply time he could use to ask questions and learn about the whole thing. It was that spark and inquisitiveness that got him his next role, one which originally came with three scenes and five lines of dialogue. He'd gotten on well with Gina Brauner, the film's lead actress, who he'd worked with before, and she, having taken a certain liking to him (to which he'd acquiesced) recommended him to the director. It was the director whom Cody had to thank for getting him into his first big-budget summer spectacular.
The Movie Star's Secret Page 4