And a little deflated, because she didn’t have anyone to share her news with.
She tried calling Jaz, because she’d been so much help and she couldn’t have got everything together without her, but she wasn’t answering. And neither was Willow.
She could go and find Kanga. Or she could ring Sadie. Sadie would be excited for her but really, next to running a glamorous boutique, selling a few jars of jam at a market was no great achievement. Sadie had won Bath Businesswoman of the Year twice now. Laura had a long way to go before she was anywhere near as accomplished.
Although obviously Sadie’s accomplishments were just a veneer. Laura still hadn’t properly processed her revelations. She wondered what Dom would say – he and Sadie had always been quite close. Had she ever revealed her longing to him, when they’d stayed up late finishing off their wine after Laura had gone to bed? Dom would have been kind and given her good advice.
Suddenly, Laura missed Dom with a physical ache. She longed to open a bottle of fizz with him, to celebrate the market and talk about Sadie. She longed to share her achievement with him and debate what to do about her best friend. And hear his triumphs and worries in return. That was what marriage was about. That’s what she had had that Sadie envied.
Maybe the time had come for them to talk. What would he be doing on a Friday night? She realised she had no idea.
Then she reminded herself that for all she knew, he was tucked up with Antonia. They had both insisted the affair was over, but perhaps Laura’s refusal to talk to Dom had pushed them back together again?
She felt a familiar tightening in her chest and a swirl in her belly at the thought of talking to him. That anxiety she had come to know so well. She’d managed to keep it at bay over the past few weeks. She didn’t want to give it any opportunity to sneak back in.
No, she thought. She needed to be stronger before she saw Dom. She was taking steps to build a new Laura, but she wasn’t quite there yet.
She heard the doorbell go and wondered who it could be. Someone interesting, she hoped. Someone she could lure in and tell her news to. She headed for the door, pausing for a second to look in the hall mirror. She still had make-up on from earlier – not too bad.
She thought she could hear laughing. Maybe it was some kids playing Knock Down Ginger? She opened the door.
‘Surprise!’
Two figures threw open their arms. Two figures in hoodies and beanies and skinny jeans.
‘Oh my God!’ Laura put a hand to her mouth, not able to believe her eyes.
‘Muuuum!’
Jaz and Willow hurled themselves against their mother in a flurry of giggles and explanations.
‘We decided to surprise you.’
‘We thought you’d been sounding a bit down.’
‘And I’ve missed you.’
‘Willow got the train down to me and I drove.’
‘We’re just here for the night.’
‘Are you surprised?’
Laura was laughing and crying.
‘Oh, my darlings. This is the best surprise ever. I’ve got so much to tell you. And so much to show you. Oh, goodness – what am I going to cook for supper?’
‘It’s OK. We’ve got it covered. We’ve ordered pizza for eight o’clock.’ They were pulling off their hoodies and hats, hanging them on the pegs. She breathed in the smell of them.
‘We didn’t want you to have to cook. We know what you’re like.’
‘And we brought wine.’
‘You’ve thought of everything.’
Suddenly the house was filled with life again. Laura felt her heart lift. Her beautiful girls. Willow looked so well. Taller, perhaps.
Then Jaz turned to her with a smile.
‘We were worried you guys wouldn’t be in. But you are. Where’s Dad?’
Laura ran up to the bedroom as soon as she could, telling the girls she needed to put on a jumper. She shut the door and pulled out her phone, dialling Dom’s number.
Please answer, she thought, thinking of all the times she’d ignored his calls. It would serve her right if he ignored her.
‘Laura.’ He’d answered. Thank God. ‘Is everything OK?’
‘You’ve got to come home,’ she told him. ‘The girls are here. They’ve surprised me. I had no idea. You’ve got to come home and pretend everything is normal.’
He didn’t need her to explain.
‘I’ll be as quick as I can.’
She sat in the quiet of the bedroom for a moment. How wonderful if she could walk downstairs and for Dom to walk in and for everything to be as it had been pre-Antonia. Just them, their normal family, him and the girls and her, laughing and talking and scoffing pizza and pouring wine and flipping the lid on bottles of beer and turning up their favourite songs, all round the kitchen table.
It wasn’t going to be like that. It was going to be one massive, exhausting lie, with her worrying every moment that the truth would come out. She breathed in and out slowly. She had to carry it off. She had to let Jaz and Willow believe everything was normal, just as it had been the night before they left.
She felt tears well up. She was overwhelmed. With joy at the wonderful surprise, but also fear. The effort it was going to take. She wasn’t even sure she could look Dom in the eye. The girls would guess.
They mustn’t. She had to summon up the strength from somewhere. She grabbed her phone and called Kanga. She needed an ally. Safety in numbers.
‘Willow and Jaz are home. They wanted to surprise me,’ she told her grandmother. ‘I’ve told Dom he’s got to come back and pretend nothing’s happened. Will you come? The girls have ordered pizza. I need you.’
To look at Dom, no one would have realised anything was wrong. He sauntered in less than half an hour after Laura had called him, laughing as the girls jumped all over him, dropping a kiss on Laura’s forehead as she sat at the table gripping her wine glass with a forced smile on her face.
While they were waiting for the pizza to arrive Laura told the girls about the market, and Dom had to pretend he already knew all about it; she could see surprise and admiration in his eyes as he looked at her.
Willow found ‘Jamming’ by Bob Marley on her iPod and they all started singing along.
Dom chinked his wine glass against hers.
‘Congratulations. That’s brilliant news.’
Laura didn’t know what to say. Before she could reply, Kanga came into the kitchen and the girls jumped up again.
Only the most observant person would have noticed Kanga’s froideur towards Dom, and the fact that she chose to sit as far away from him as she could.
By ten o’clock there were four cardboard boxes open on the table, and most of the pizza devoured except for the more challenging crusts.
‘Mum! Mum Mum Mum!’ shouted Jaz, who’d been scrolling through her phone. ‘You’ve got a booking. You’ve got your first booking!’
Dom looked at Laura. She knew he could have no idea that she’d got the rooms renovated and on the website. The last he’d heard, it had been an idle plan. She met his gaze, willing him not to show any surprise or he would give the game away.
‘When are they booked in for?’ she asked.
‘Next weekend. Two nights. That’s nearly two hundred quid!’
‘Well done, darling,’ said Dom valiantly. ‘Your first booking. I knew it would be a success.’
He really was a good actor and a good liar, thought Laura. No wonder she’d been duped for so long.
They all went to bed just before midnight.
‘We’ve got to go back tomorrow,’ said Jaz. ‘I’ve got a hockey match on Sunday.’
Conscientious Jaz would never countenance missing a match.
‘Oh, that’s a shame,’ said Laura. ‘Only I know Daddy’s got to get up early and go to work anyway, so it would just be me.’
She looked at Dom, who raised his eyebrows. Laura smiled at him sweetly.
‘Can we have pancakes for breakfast, before we go
?’ asked Willow.
‘Of course. Whatever you want.’
‘I’ve tried making them for the house, but they’re not as good as yours.’
Laura went to kiss each of her daughters good night in their rooms. All that mattered, really, more than her marriage – their marriage – or her happiness or money, was that the two girls were happy and healthy. And they seemed to be.
‘Are you settled?’ she asked Willow. ‘Are you happy?’
‘I love it, Mum. But I do miss home. I miss our banter. Our madness. I miss you and Dad.’
‘We miss you too, darling. It’s not long till Christmas.’
Oh God, thought Laura. Christmas. Something would have to be done by then. This mess would have to be sorted out.
Afterwards, she popped in to see Jaz.
‘Thank you so much, darling. It’s been a lovely surprise, and I know it was your idea.’
Jaz was cross-legged on the bed, her back straight. She looked at her mother. ‘I was worried about you.’
‘Really?’ Laura tried to keep her voice light.
‘Every time I spoke to you, you sounded as if you were pretending to be all right.’
‘Well, I’m fine. You can see that.’ Laura smiled brightly.
Jaz smiled back. ‘Yes,’ she said, but she didn’t seem sure.
‘Honestly. It’s just been a bit odd, having an empty house. I’m not used to it. I keep making too much spag bol and having to throw it away. I’m OK. Honestly.’
She was definitely protesting too much. She hugged Jaz and left the room before she saw through her obfuscation.
As she headed across the landing, she realised Dom would have to sleep in their bedroom for the night. It would be very odd for him not to. Unless she banished him to the spare room with some cock-and-bull story about him snoring and her not being able to sleep. But she didn’t have the energy either to argue with him about it or to lie. It seemed much easier if they slept together.
He was rifling through his drawers, looking for a pair of pyjamas.
It was as if he had never been away.
She got into bed and lay stiff and quiet, her eyes shut, as Dom climbed in beside her. She felt the bed dip, the familiar squeak of the springs.
‘Laura. Can we talk?’
‘No.’ She wasn’t going to let him turn the situation to his advantage. Especially when she’d had several glasses of wine. She’d only cry. ‘And can you make sure you’re gone first thing in the morning?’
She could feel him next to her. His warmth. She could smell him. She could hear him breathe. Her Dom. Her husband. It would be so easy to reach out, slide into his arms, his familiar embrace, his strength, his tenderness.
But he’d betrayed her. He’d been unfaithful. She couldn’t get past it, the thought of him with Antonia, the thought of him kissing her, caressing her, sliding into her.
‘Tonight was wonderful.’ There was a crack in his voice as he broke the silence and the darkness.
‘I know,’ she said, and turned her back on him.
31
Laura was surprised how nervous she was about receiving her first B & B guest the next weekend.
The guest’s name was G. MacBride. Two nights, arriving Friday. Departing Sunday. She had no more information than that. She hadn’t felt confident enough to message to ask for more details. It seemed rude.
When the doorbell went, she smoothed back her hair, put on her shoes – it wouldn’t do to answer the door barefoot – and strode out into the hall, assuming a confidence she didn’t feel.
She answered it to a man of about her own age, with a head of thick salt and pepper hair, light-green eyes and a confident smile.
‘Hello.’ She held out her hand. ‘I’m Laura. Welcome to Number 11.’
‘I’m Gino,’ he said, and she thought – Gino? She’d had her money on George. Or Gillian.
‘Scottish Italian,’ he grinned, seeing her surprise. ‘My mother’s from Naples.’ He looked around the hall. ‘This is wonderful. What an amazing house. It kind of hugs you when you walk in.’
She had gone out of her way to clear the clutter and make it welcoming, with a massive vase of autumnal orange and yellow flowers, some warm light bulbs and a pomegranate candle from Jo Malone. She had to admit it did look like something out of a magazine.
She stole a closer look at her guest while he was admiring the photos on the wall. He wore a charcoal grey V-necked sweater over a white T-shirt and faded jeans, and very expensive-looking sneakers. He was carrying a battered brown leather holdall that looked as if it had been around the world with him a few times. No jewellery.
No wedding ring.
Fashion conscious in a good way – understated, confident.
‘Is this your first visit to Bath?’ she asked.
‘No. My wife and I have been here a few times. My daughter’s at the uni. Second year.’
‘Oh. Lovely.’ That would be a good market, she thought. Visiting parents. Maybe she could advertise at the university.
‘This is my first trip on my own, though. My wife and I separated a few months ago. And I miss Sasha desperately.’ He gave an awkward smile, as if he had been rehearsing declaring his new status.
Laura smiled back at him. ‘I know the feeling. My youngest started at York in September. I’m counting the days till the end of term.’
‘I thought I’d come and do a bit of early Christmas shopping.’
‘Don’t mention the C-word!’ It was funny, thought Laura. One minute you were putting away the sun cream, the next everyone was obsessed with mince pies and stocking fillers.
‘I know. Sorry. Guilty as charged.’
He was charming, thought Laura. Her mind started ticking over. ‘Shall I show you the accommodation?’
She felt very nervous as she showed him the rooms. What if he turned his nose up? What if, after all her hard work, they weren’t what people expected these days? Standards had risen so high. Everyone expected all the luxury and all the mod-cons. She hoped she had done her best to supply comfort and style within her – and their – budget.
‘This is lovely. Just what I want. Quiet and cosy and comfy,’ Gino told her, and she felt relieved. He was her idea of a perfect customer. Someone who knew what they wanted but had good manners.
She scampered back down to the kitchen as soon as he had chosen his room. She texted Sadie.
Laura: OMG my first guest is called Gino. He’s a total silver fox. He is PERFECT for you. Separated. 40 something. Drop Dead Gorgeous!
Sadie: Take a picture!
Laura: I can’t. That would be weird.
Sadie: I’m coming over.
Laura: No. I’ve got my first market tomorrow. I can’t risk a hangover.
Sadie: Spoilsport.
Laura: I’ll do some digging and let you know. Supper tomorrow night?
Five thumbs-up emojis pinged back.
‘Will you be wanting dinner?’ she asked politely when Gino came down to collect some fresh milk. ‘I do offer a three-course meal. Or two courses. Or just one. Whatever you like.’
‘I’m going to hit the sack – it’s been a bit of a drive. But maybe tomorrow? I’m taking Sasha out for the day, but I expect she’ll want to be rid of me by the evening. It’s not very cool to have your dad in tow on a Saturday night.’
Laura laughed. He was funny and kind and self-deprecating, with a really attractive soft Scottish lilt.
‘OK. Well, I’m out at the market all day but I could have something on the table for eight if that’s not too late?’
‘That sounds perfect.’
She gave him a key and a map of Bath she’d got from the tourist office and showed him where to find the breakfast things so he could help himself. He disappeared off with a cheery good night.
Had she been wrong to give Sadie the heads-up? Surely there was nothing wrong with a bit of matchmaking? And Gino looked more than a match for her: a sophisticated grown-up. He certainly didn’t look as if he
was going to go out and pull a thirty-year-old.
There was hope for Sadie, thought Laura. There had to be.
Laura was at Lulgate Square by seven o’clock the next morning. Cars were allowed in to unload, but she had to leave her boxes of jars while she went and parked. She saw Herbie and asked if he would keep an eye on them.
‘Hey, listen, everybody has this problem and nothing’s been nicked yet. Probably because it’s too early for any light-fingeredness. But don’t worry – I’ll stand guard.’
She thanked him and drove to the nearest car park as quickly as she could.
Was it going to be difficult doing this all on her own? She wished Jaz or Willow were here to help. They would love it. Oh God, she missed them. She could imagine the pair of them bossing her around and reorganising things how they thought fit. They had the confidence of youth that she lacked. She was dreading even simple things like counting out change. Things that the young didn’t find daunting in the least – she remembered watching Willow add up drinks bills at the Reprobate in her head, taking the customer’s money and dishing out change while she was already on to the next customer. Laura was worried she was going to dither.
She got back to her stall in record time and started unpacking.
Herbie brought her a coffee – he gave a free cup to all the stallholders as they arrived.
‘I remember you’re a latte girl,’ he said.
She took it gratefully – there’d been no time for anything before she left the house.
‘Amazing. Thank you. It’s so cold.’
‘You’ll be like a block of ice by the end of the day.’ He pointed. ‘Can I buy a jar of that Campari marmalade before it goes?’
‘Have one. Please. You’ve been so kind.’
She handed him a jar. Her hand was shaking, but it wasn’t from the cold. She had no idea she would be this terrified.
Gradually her confidence grew as the other stallholders stopped by to introduce themselves and look at her stall. They all took the time to admire it, even though they were busy themselves.
A Family Recipe Page 26