by Nancy Mehl
“They’re over there. Help yourself.” The guy pointed toward a long, thin, dark wood table against the far wall. It also held a coffee maker. Thankful for some immediate hot coffee, Logan poured a cup, then grabbed a newspaper.
The front-page headline stopped him cold: Killer Calling Himself the Train Man Sends Letter to Kansas City Journal.
15
Alex couldn’t believe what she was reading. She and Logan had gone to her room to read the newspaper article. “This guy is different,” she said, holding the paper as she sat in the chair near the fireplace. She looked over at Logan, who was making coffee. She wasn’t sure caffeine was the best thing right now. She was exhausted and needed to sleep, yet she knew her mind wouldn’t allow her to. Not yet.
“This reads like a manifesto,” she said. “He’s definitely been involved in the Circle—even though I can’t imagine he is now since he’s gone off the rails. Pun not intended.”
Logan snorted. “Go ahead,” he said. “I’m listening.”
“Here’s the letter:
“‘The Master has judged the world and found it wanting. He has declared that six sacrifices will precede his first judgment. I am the one chosen to carry out this judgment. You can call me the Train Man. I will deliver a contagion so powerful that one third of mankind will die. To the authorities who wonder if I have the ability to do this, rest assured that I am more than capable of carrying out this assignment. I suspect you know this by now.
‘The police and the FBI will try to stop me, but they will fail. The words of The Book declare that the Master is God. There is no other. He is the one who holds the keys to all things. He has given them to me to carry out his will. He began all things, and he will end all things. He created the demons and the angels for his pleasure. He looked at the evil he created and found it good.’”
Alex looked up and stared at Logan. “Wow. He’s extremely delusional.”
Logan joined her, setting two cups on the coffee table and then lowering himself onto the couch. “Even though the Circle doesn’t follow the Bible, some of this is certainly similar. In the Bible, the one who rules over the demons is Satan. God created the angels, although some of them fell and decided to follow the devil. But the most important beings are mankind. This book claims we’re all either demons or angels and human beings don’t exist. Whoever wrote it wasn’t trying to mimic the Bible. It would be easier to understand him if that were the case.”
“What do you mean?” Alex asked.
“We profile a lot of people who hate the normal interpretation of God. Usually it helps us understand that there may be some kind of resentment toward religion that helps to shape their psyche. But this is something new. Seems to me that whoever wrote The Book was angry with theology. He felt . . . superior over other religious people. He created something different. Something unique.” He paused for a moment and frowned. “I think his anger is directed at mankind. Possibly because so many of them follow the God of the Bible. That’s why he wants them wiped out.”
Alex nodded. “Makes sense. If mankind doesn’t exist, he won’t have to compete with them anymore. Or care about them. You know, Willow used to say The Book was written centuries before the Bible. That the author was a superior being who wasn’t from this world.” She shook her head. “Boy, when I say that it sounds nuts. Somehow, though, she made it sound a little bit sane.” She frowned. “So you think the author of The Book has read the Bible. He’s stealing words and ideas, but he isn’t a Bible scholar.”
“Yeah. He’s been exposed to the Bible at some point. Not enough to really understand it, but enough to know he hates it.” He stared at Alex for a moment. “I can’t even begin to comprehend what it was like growing up with someone like Willow as a parental figure,” he said after a long pause.
“Everyone has tough stuff in their lives.” Maybe once, a long time ago, she’d wanted someone to feel compassion for her and reach out to help. But it had never happened, and she had learned how to take care of herself. She believed that, in some ways, Willow had made her stronger. Better prepared for life. When she moved out she was already able to cook, clean, pay bills, and file her own taxes. She’d also fought back the dark fears that had tried to destroy her. Then she worked hard to get into the FBI and now the BAU. She’d learned that she didn’t need anyone else. She could get by just fine alone.
“Alex, I was thinking about something you said early on. That Walker must believe he’s a demon but he identifies more as the Train Man. Is he killing as the Train Man? Or as the Destroyer?”
“I think he decided he was a demon, just like you and I believe we’re human beings. Then he needed an identity. You’re Logan Hart. I’m Alex Donovan. He’s the Train Man. His identity as Adam Walker became nothing. Useless. Logan Hart and Alex Donovan became FBI supervisory special agents. He became . . .”
“The Destroyer,” Logan finished for her.
“Exactly. And I would say his calling as the Destroyer is driving him to kill. That what’s pushing him forward. He wants to fulfill the prophecy. It makes him feel important. Special. The Destroyer is his reason to exist.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “We really need a copy of that book. I think it will help us understand him even more. But we never got our copy.”
“You seem to know a lot about it already.”
Alex leaned back in her chair and pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around them. “Not as much as you might think, even though Willow talked about it constantly. She hoped I’d hop on board the Circle train.” She laughed lightly. “Pun intended this time. I guess it’s like your Bible. People talk about it a lot, but have they read every word?”
“Actually, I have,” Logan said. “But some chapters I probably won’t read again. Let’s just say the book of Numbers isn’t for everyone.”
Although she wasn’t quite sure what that meant, Alex laughed again. “Doesn’t sound too exciting.”
“You’d be right.” Logan grinned at her.
“Aren’t blood sacrifices mentioned in the Old Testament?”
Logan nodded. “I was thinking along the same lines. Yet the Train Man doesn’t seem to have any concept of the purpose of the sacrifices in the Bible. That they were setting up mankind for the final sacrifice that brought eternal forgiveness. He believes his sacrifices precede a terrible act of judgment.”
“The virus,” Alex said.
Logan put his head back on the couch and sighed deeply. “Everyone’s going to be calling him the Train Man by tomorrow, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sure he’ll enjoy that.” She frowned. “You said this idea of one third of the world dying is mentioned in the Bible. Can you read that portion to me?”
Logan took his phone out of his pocket and tapped several times on the screen. “Here it is, Revelation 9:17–19. I’m reading from the King James Version.
“‘And thus I saw the horses in the vision, and them that sat on them, having breastplates of fire, and of jacinth, and brimstone: and the heads of the horses were as the heads of lions; and out of their mouths issued fire and smoke and brimstone. By these three was the third part of men killed, by the fire, and by the smoke, and by the brimstone, which issued out of their mouths. For their power is in their mouth, and in their tails: for their tails were like unto serpents, and had heads, and with them they do hurt.’”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Alex asked.
Logan shrugged. “Sorry. Like I said, I’m not an end-times expert. Some say it’s a guy who lived two thousand years ago trying to describe some kind of military plane or helicopter. I think that makes as much sense as anything.”
“Wow, that’s some benevolent God you have.” Alex felt a little irritated. Who could understand this stuff?
“This talks about something that will happen,” Logan said. “It doesn’t say God caused it.” He leaned forward with his arms on his knees. “You know, the Bible’s actually pretty easy. God loves, heals, restores. Satan kills, steals,
and destroys.”
“But doesn’t your Old Testament have a lot of killing, stealing, and destroying?”
“Yeah. But people were under judgment then. Now, because of Jesus, we’re under grace.”
“Yet there’s still evil in the world. You and I know that better than most. I think whoever wrote The Book and the people who believe in it are just trying to understand the concept of good and evil. Is that possible?”
Logan nodded. “I think you’re right about that.” He frowned.
“What are you thinking?”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with this. It’s just . . .”
“Tell me.”
“This . . . book. The Bible tells about a God who gave the most precious thing he had because He loves humans more than anything. Yet The Book erases them from the earth. It’s . . . sad.”
Alex chewed on her lip as she thought. “Maybe it makes believers easier to control because it takes away their human identity and tells them they’re destined to be one thing or another.”
“I guess so.” Logan sighed. “I feel sorry for anyone who falls for this.” His gaze met hers. “Your aunt must have felt she needed some kind of importance in life, just like you think Walker does. An identity. Makes me think she didn’t have one before the Circle came into her life.”
Alex looked away. “I don’t want to talk about her. Let’s get back to Walker.”
“Okay,” Logan said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Alex didn’t say anything. Instead, she took a sip of her coffee. The resentment she felt for her aunt had been stoked by this case. Willow was gone from the world, but she still lived in Alex’s mind. It was getting in the way of her job. She just wanted the woman out of her life.
“Walker seems to be completely committed to The Book,” Logan continued. “He even believes he’s mentioned in it. So why rebel against what he’s supposed to believe in? Why share parts of The Book in public? Like you said, the Circle can’t be happy with that.”
“Yeah, that’s bothering me too.”
“What if this thing about demons being forbidden to read The Book is only an opinion? Maybe it’s not actually mentioned in the text.”
Alex stared at Logan for several seconds. “You could be right. Don’t people have opinions about the Bible that have nothing to do with reality?”
Logan gave her a lopsided smile. “Yeah, like when they make snarky comments about God’s benevolence.”
In spite of herself, Alex laughed. “Point taken. You know, I don’t remember Willow ever reciting anything from The Book about that. It may have simply been her own idea. If it’s not actually in there, Walker might feel he has every right to read The Book and fulfill its prophecies, even as a demon.”
“Maybe so. Okay, until we can see what’s in The Book, let’s drop the idea that Walker is rebelling. I think those concepts have caused us some confusion. Let’s say he hasn’t rebelled. That this guy knows what’s in The Book, and he’s following it to the letter. That will make figuring out his next steps much easier.”
“I agree. But we really need to see what’s in that book for ourselves,” Alex said. “And soon.”
16
Adam was grateful to be home. It had been a busy night. Even though he’d had coffee with his breakfast, he was dead tired.
“There you are,” Sally chirped when he came in. “I was worried about you. Is everything okay?”
He nodded. “Number five has been sacrificed.”
“Another coat?” she said, pointing at the outerwear he’d forgotten to take off.
“Yeah, good thing you bought all those secondhand coats. I’ve needed them.” He smiled. “Only one more sacrifice to go. The most important one.”
She held out her hand. Adam shrugged off the coat and handed it to her. “I’ll be glad when this is over,” she said.
“I just want to make sure the Master is satisfied. We need his protection.”
“No one has ever served him better than you, honey,” Sally said, her sweet smile warming his heart and chasing away the cold. He sat down at the kitchen table. “I need to sleep.” He didn’t tell her about the letter. He wasn’t sure she’d approve. It really wasn’t her business anyway. All she needed to know was what he decided to tell her.
“Well, you go lie down for a while. I’ll see to the kids and make sure they’re quiet, so they won’t disturb you.”
Adam wanted to climb into bed and fall asleep, but for some reason, every time he lay down he started itching. It was irritating. Sally must be using some kind of laundry detergent he was allergic to. He wanted to ask her about it, but he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She worked so hard. Sometimes, without her knowing about it, he’d rent a motel room so he could wash up and sleep without feeling as if he wanted to scratch his skin off.
“I’ve got to clean the inside of the car,” he said. “Got blood on the steering wheel.”
“Do you want me to do it?”
“No, you already work so hard.” He put his palms on the sides of her beautiful face and kissed her gently. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said, circling his arms around her.
“You never have to. I’ll always be here for you, and so will the kids.”
As if on cue, Gabby and Trey appeared behind her. “Daddy!” Gabby said. “I missed you so much.” She ran over and wrapped her arms around his legs. Trey stood back a bit, trying to be a young man, but when Adam gestured to him he grinned and joined their group hug.
“Have you been serving the Master?” Trey asked, his eyes wide with obvious pride in his father.
“I have, and I’m tired, Trey. Gotta get some sleep. You guys be good today, okay? Obey your mother.”
“We will, Daddy,” Gabby said. “We want to be just like you.”
Adam smiled to himself. His life was perfect. His family kept him going. He was so grateful to the Master for rewarding him for his work.
“Let’s go,” Sally said, disengaging from their hug. “Daddy needs to rest.”
Adam watched them leave and then went back to his bedroom. He was so tired he fell asleep before the itching started.
Logan stood. “More coffee?” he asked.
Alex nodded and handed him her cup. “Thanks.”
As she waited, she continued thinking about Walker. She’d begun to realize they were a little similar. Both of them had troubled childhoods. Walker had found his identity in a book, and she’d found hers in the FBI. Different choices, different paths.
It took Logan a few minutes to brew the coffee. He brought her cup over and put it down on the coffee table in front of her.
“Have you looked outside?” he asked as he lowered himself onto the couch again.
Alex turned her attention to the window in the front of the room. Maybe Harrison was right. The snow was coming down pretty fast. She’d been so concentrated on their case that she hadn’t noticed. Cases, she corrected herself. With Willow and Nettie’s deaths, now there were two cases, not one. She and Logan weren’t assigned to the Wichita murder case, but she knew the two cases were connected. She couldn’t ignore the women’s murders. Of course, until they had an autopsy report, she couldn’t prove Nettie was murdered. Maybe her death had been natural, but it didn’t seem right. It felt like something else. Something wrong.
“Hopefully, this snow won’t cause us more problems,” she said. “We should be in Kansas City. At the command post. Not stuck here.”
Logan shrugged. “We can do almost everything from here, you know. Let’s talk about what happened to Willow and why. It may be tied in to our guy.”
“I think it is. But I wonder if we’re supposed to assume it’s the Circle punishing Willow for not protecting its book, especially given the drawing above my old bed. But again, why? It still seems odd that angels would have such vengeance. Unless . . .”
“Unless what?”
Alex cleared her throat. “Unless it’s not about The Book, Logan. What if i
t’s about a person? Someone they don’t want us to find.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know. Maybe this Gedrose? Maybe they know I saw his face when I was young, and they want to silence me. Maybe they killed Willow and Nettie to scare me. To force me to keep quiet.”
“But if this guy is so important, why send him to the hospital where you might see him? Doesn’t make sense. They could have ordered someone else to kill Nettie.”
Alex nodded. “You’re right. The guy we’re looking for probably isn’t that far up in the chain of command. Maybe he’s just a private in their twisted army.”
“Can you remember anything else about him?”
“I’ve tried, but that one incident was the only time I came face-to-face with any of them.”
Logan frowned. “Your room wasn’t all that far from the living room. Did you ever overhear anything that might help us?”
Alex shook her head. “I didn’t want to hear them. Most of the time I listened to music through headphones. They didn’t always meet at Willow’s house, by the way. They had other meeting places too. I assume they took turns hosting their little soirees.”
“Well, at least we have this guy’s name. We know he used to be a cop. It’s more than we had before you remembered him.”
She nodded. “Even though he didn’t say a word to me, something about him frightened me. He—”
Someone knocked on the door. Alex glanced at her watch. Nine o’clock in the morning. “Must be housekeeping,” she said as she rose from her chair. “I’ll tell them to skip it. What about your room?”
“I’m good.”
For a second, Alex wondered if she should make sure it was housekeeping before she opened the door, but then she decided she was being paranoid. How would anyone from the Circle know where she was staying?
She opened the door, expecting to see a maid with a cart. Instead, she looked into the face of the man she’d met as a child. The one in her drawing—only older. She reached for her gun, but she wasn’t wearing it.