The Retail Witches: An Urban Fantasy Witch Novel (Retail Witches Series Book 1)

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The Retail Witches: An Urban Fantasy Witch Novel (Retail Witches Series Book 1) Page 25

by Les Goodrich


  “And the ghost pirates. They’re corporeal ghosts?” Jordan asked.

  “Corpo-what?”

  “They can touch you and move stuff and drink rum for real?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Then how do you know they’re ghosts?” Jordan asked and she had flashbacks of her chat with Carol. She shook her head slightly and was beginning to realize that even in her world of magick, there was always something to learn or discover or never quite understand.

  “They’re ghosts because they died but never left. They can come and go like fog. We’re drinking rum and pineapple with mermaids, but you don’t believe in ghosts?”

  “I believe,” Jordan said. “I’m just trying to get my whole physical ghost biology straight. So is the stuff still there?”

  “As far as we know,” Jacob said.

  “Where is it exactly? I mean, where on the island is the cave?”

  “We don’t know but we know a guy who will. His name is Bonefish Jones. A local. If it happens on Crooked Island, he knows.”

  “What about the Fomorians?” Jordan asked.

  At the mention of Fomorians Mako pretended to throw up over the side and Pearl involuntarily made a sound like, “Bleeeaaah!”

  “Avoid them if you can. Don’t engage them in any conversation or debate. Kill the first one point-blank if they come up to your boat. That usually runs them off.”

  “And what can we expect from the ghost pirates?” Tanner inserted. “What kind of rogues are they?”

  “The worst kind,” Jacob said. “And that makes me wonder. Why would three nice kids like you risk getting mixed up with the most hateful scallywags on the seas, all over some moldy old books and trinkets? ”

  “Our interest in what’s there is purely academic,” Tanner said before Jordan could speak and Mako and Coral looked to each other. “We’re history students. We work in a retail store that sells old books. We just want to see if a lost book and a painting or two is there. The stuff isn’t particularly valuable. It’s just old. And none of it’s illegal, which should minimize the risk.”

  “I see,” Jacob said, unsure if he fully believed Tanner but willing to make a deal nonetheless. “I’ll tell you what. You three can charter our boat. This boat is very difficult to see on the run and basically impossible to catch. We’ll take you there and back. You can bring back whatever suits you as long as it isn’t explosive, diseased, or heavier than a canon. We have a house here on Ramrod. You can leave your boat there while we’re gone.”

  “How much?” Jordan asked.

  “It’s a long haul. We’d have to run back up to Largo, then across to Andros.”

  “Told you,” Dan said and Jacob went on.

  “Pick our way south along Andros. Get fuel at George Town. From there run to Crooked. Most of the trip is across the Bahamian banks so it shouldn’t be terribly rough. We can go fast for most of it.”

  “What’s fast?” Tanner asked.

  “Ninety miles per hour. A hundred in spots. Cruising at seventy.”

  “That’s fast,” Tanner said.

  “We’ll carry extra fuel too. Just in case. You never know what you might run into over there.”

  “So?” asked Jordan still waiting to hear a price.

  “Two thousand dollars a day. We could be there in a day and let’s say one day there, and a day back. So six grand.”

  “Six thousand dollars?” Jordan asked.

  “In advance,” Rich added and Jacob nodded.

  Jordan turned to confer with her crew.

  “You’d never find a ride in that boat, that far, for less,” Dan offered.

  “Let’s go find some food and talk about it. We shouldn’t agree too quickly. I need to think this over.”

  “She’s right,” Tanner said. “It might not be a bad deal, but it’s still a lot of cash.”

  “Okay. We can get gas and food on Ramrod. I know a place. The only place, but I know it,” Dan said.

  “All right,” Jordan turned and she handed her empty drink cup back to Jacob. He smiled a smarmy grin and touched her hand as he took the cup. “Allrighty then,” Jordan said and quickly withdrew her hand. “We’re gonna go get some food on the island and talk this over. We’ll stop by your place when we’re done and let you know what we come up with. Is that cool?”

  “Do you know how to get into Ramnrod?” Jacob asked and Dan answered him.

  “It’s been a while but I know it. Came here to dive a few times when I was a kid.”

  “Just past that shoal sign is the channel,” Jacob pointed. “It goes straight in, just don’t stray from it. The edges are rock and it’s inches deep. You’ll see it. Our place is the fourth canal from the marina at the far end. You can’t miss the boat. Just come by when you’re done.”

  Tanner untied the boats and Dan Idled away. They ran the short distance and Dan spotted the first two channel markers that led to the interior of the island. He banked the boat in a stiff turn and lined up with the markers. As they flew between them they saw the inches-deep rock shelves on each side of the cut and looked to the shallow flats that stretched out from both sides and the boat tracked straight between the carved coral walls and the channel was dark blue and the flats were pale green.

  “I bet there’s lobster in those walls,” Tanner said.

  “I bet there is too,” Dan said and Jordan looked to the side and the water streaked by.

  At the coved entrance they slowed and idled into the island interior where a long canal ran south to north. Stretching from the main canal and out to the east like the teeth of a comb were many dead-end canals lined with homes on both sides and between each canal was a road. One of those homes belonged to the smuggler pirates with the go-fast boat sitting out in the bay with mermaids chilling on the back.

  The idle to the marina at the far end took fifteen minutes and Jordan saw Iguanas swimming in the water and sunning on the rocks and she saw many houses she would like to stay in and every house had a boat or a dock where a boat would be when it returned. Dan spun around and docked at the fuel pumps under the small hotel. He climbed out onto the landing.

  “The tiki bar is right around the end of this building. I’ll find whoever I need to get some gas around here and meet you guys up there.”

  Tanner and Jordan already had drinks when Dan strolled into the shade of the thatched bar. They drank and ate and talked.

  “I don’t like it,” Jordan said. “We don’t even know these guys and they both give me the creeps. We’d have to get Carol to deposit money in my account to pay them. Then we’d end up over there on their boat. I’d feel helpless.”

  “I agree,” Tanner said. “We’ve come this far on our own boat. Why stop now? I think we can do it.”

  “Well,” Dan added, “those guys basically told us what way to go. We run back to Largo, cross to Andros, down Andros, gas at George Town, then on to Crooked. Come back the same way.”

  “And we should carry fuel like those guys said, right?” Tanner asked.

  “Always. We don’t burn as much as they do, but yeah. You’d be glad to have it over there if you needed it.”

  “So you think we can do it?” Jordan asked and Dan took a long drink of his beer.

  “Getting around over there isn’t like driving to town. The maps make it look easy but it isn’t. But it can be done. After running this boat around as much as we have, I think we can do it. I’d say you guys are right.”

  Jordan lifted her pina colada for a toast and the boys lifted their beers. “Here’s to adventure, glory, and treasure on the high seas,” Jordan said.

  “Tanner F. Hampton: Witch Pirate,” Tanner said toasting.

  “Jordan Beaumont: Sea Witch,” Jordan added.

  “And Captain Dan Notwitch,” Dan said and they clicked their drinks and drank to good fortune.

  “Captain Dan Notwitch,” Jordan said. “Friend to witches, pirates, and mermaids alike.”

  “The shit I get myself into,” Dan laughed. “But I�
��ll tell you one thing. There’s no two people in the world I’d rather be down here with.”

  “Same for me,” Jordan said.

  “Here-here,” Tanner added and they toasted again and took their time drinking and eating.

  “I’m going to see if we can get a room in the hotel for the night.”

  “That would be awesome,” Jordan said. “But either way, I’m swimming in that pool.”

  Dan was able to get a room for the night but there was a two night minimum and everyone agreed it was worth it and pitched in two night’s money for one night’s stay. They walked through the neighborhood until they spotted the docked pirate’s boat. They went to the house, had a drink with Rich and Jacob, and the guys dropped their price to a total of four thousand dollars from their original six, and eventually took it well when Jordan insisted that they would not be taking them up on either offer. Jacob even gave them one last tip before they left for the night.

  “Watch for the south channel rocks on your approach to George Town. They’re marked, but hardly. One metal pipe hammered into the limestone and at low tide you can see about ten feet of it sticking up. At high tide, much less. It’s like looking for a toothpick in Lake Okeechobee. Just go slow. You don’t want to find those rocks the hard way. Plenty of people have, believe me.”

  Tanner, Jordan, and Dan walked back to the hotel and the very small room felt like a palace. Jordan texted pictures she had taken to James who was amazed at the beauty of the water. She had told her new very-nearly boyfriend precious few details about the trip beyond telling him she was going down to the Florida Keys for work, which was basically true. “To get books for the shop,” she had said.

  Jordan also texted Brit who said all was well and they missed them. Jordan told Brit there was far too much to text about but she would tell her all about it when she got back. They texted until Jordan was about to fall asleep.

  Jordan: We’re off to the island tomorrow. No idea what to expect. So far, the most gorgeous mermaids imaginable, the most beautiful water and sky I’ve ever seen, and sketchy pirate guys with a really fast really ugly boat.

  Brit: Sounds so cool. Be safe and text me as soon as you find the book and painting. Send pics.

  Jordan: Not sure if there’s phone service there but I’ll text you as soon as we get back to civilization. Tell Carol we’re okay.

  Brit: Will do. I miss you guys. Wish I was with you.

  Jordan: Miss you too. You and I will come down here on a road trip someday.

  Brit: That would rock. See you soon.

  See you soon, Jordan texted, then said, “I hope,” and went to sleep.

  Chapter 19

  Crooks and Conmen

  Upon first spotting the land, Dan ran up the Bahamian flag as he would had they cleared customs at some other location. Tanner, Jordan, and Dan navigated south along the shores of Andros Island for an entire day after a choppy crossing from Largo. Time to come they refueled at George Town and, as unbelievable as it seemed, the Bahamian waters were even more vivid and their surfaces more jeweled than in the Keys. Impossible blues and aqua-greens, and water so clear that when Dan feared they might be treading in too shallow of a spot, because he could see fish around small rocks as they passed, the depth recorder revealed the bottom to be twenty feet down.

  Tanner returned again and again to study their approach to Crooked Island and he compared the paper charts to the GPS maps on the machine and he did this with a meditative silence. He spoke to Dan four times about what he felt was the best way in and Dan agreed each time.

  “Are you satisfied with the plan yet,” Jordan asked him. “You’re driving me crazy fiddling with all that over and over.”

  “Paranoia is a thankless job,” Tanner said and he folded the chart and stowed it away in the console. “If we avoided, by two miles say, putting this thing onto a reef the size of Castillo de San Marcos covered in four inches of water, no one would ever thank me because you’d never know. But if we did run it high and dry, then I’m stuck with you two on this boat to die of thirst and I don’t much fancy it.”

  “Okay, jeez,” Jordan said.

  After days living on the boat tempers were beginning to rise. Dan kept mostly quiet. They moved on.

  One afternoon they stopped for the night and anchored in the small protected cove of a tiny uninhabited cay. They snorkeled around the cove. Dan speared two sixteen-inch hogfish. Jordan caught six respectable lobsters and a few smaller ones she let go. Tanner speared a big grouper that got off and went into a hole and he spent the entire time trying to get it back out.

  With everyone rinsed, dried, and worn out on the boat, Dan brought out his green camp stove. He cooked a feast of fish filets and lobster chunks sautéed in lemon juice and butter which he mixed with canned black-eye peas, hot sauce, and a pouch of precooked rice.

  “This is hurricane food right here,” he said as he cooked and drank cold beer.

  “Yeah hurricane food, Bahamas style,” Jordan said. “With hogfish and lobster.” They ate and drank beers and imagined the next day but spoke hardly at all.

  The Sun was just up but already warm when Tanner pulled the anchor and Dan idled out of the cove and began south but remained at idle. They ate the rest of the fish and lobster concoction for breakfast, cold from the cooler, and pulled out into the emerald water. Dan spoke as he drove.

  “We’ll reach Crooked and Acklins today. We can run most of the way and according to the GPS we should make landfall in about three hours if it stays this calm.”

  All of Tanner’s worrying over the charts paid off when they followed his course and slid in to Pittstown Point landing and docked at Landrail on the island’s north end. No one was around and Jordan put on her long sleeve sky blue fishing shirt over her bikini top. She stepped into her khaki shorts and Crocs and put on her hat. Dan and Tanner put on what boat shoes they had and with the boat tied they climbed to the dock to see if they could find anyone about.

  There were two ladies who looked to be working at cleaning one of the small cottages along the dock landing and Jordan spoke to them. The ladies directed them to a small bar at the end of the cottage property and the three walked in.

  A man named Joe helped them and they ordered Kalik beer and fish stew with bread. Fifteen minutes later the man got their beers and an hour later he brought their food and they spoke to him about the island and their trip and they played eco-tourists although few tourists stopped there.

  They said that a friend had recommended they see Bonefish Jones and they said they wanted to explore the island’s old plantation ruins and photograph the island’s population of unique small birds. Joe laughed and said he would send word for Bonefish.

  “If you want to see a rare bird, Bonefish Jones should satisfy,” Joe said and they did not see Joe again until their beers were long dry and their food long gone.

  After what seemed like an eternity at the little bar a man walked in. He wore a hat woven from palm fronds that resembled a small sombrero, a long sleeve blue and pink paisley silk shirt with butterfly collar that would have been vintage in the eighties, and black rayon slacks that upon closer inspection had the satin side-seams of tuxedo pants because indeed they were. The man wore faded brown leather sandals composed of a loose, wide, weave. He walked with a practiced lean like a gangster from the streets of Detroit.

  “You lookin’ for me?” the man said as he crept up to the bar corner.

  “Are you Bonefish Jones?” Tanner asked.

  “Practically everyone around here is called Bonefish something,” the man said. “After the fish.” He said nothing more and Tanner, Jordan, and Dan looked to each other. Jordan finally spoke.

  “We’re looking for a place on the island. Jacob and Rich said you could help.”

  “Jacob and Rich,” Bonefish said and he looked down the bar past Dan as if he expected to see them there. “Perhaps I can help you. It all depends.”

  “On what?” Jordan asked.

  “On what
you want.”

  “We want information.”

  “That’s easy.”

  “And no lies.”

  “That makes it a bit more difficult,” Bonefish grinned and his eyes lit up. “Just joking. What is it you need?”

  “We want to find a certain cave. A cave that you know of. Where some very old people are keeping some very old things.”

  “Things of value?” Bonefish leaned in.

  “Not especially. Books of old. Nothing more.”

  Bonefish looked behind him and across the room where no one was but he lowered his already low voice nonetheless. “I know of this place, but I won’t go near it. It’s guarded by,” and he looked around again. “By enemies.”

  “But you can tell us how to get there?” Tanner asked.

  “I can do better than that. I can give you a map. For a price, of course.”

  “Of course,” Jordan said. “How much?”

  Bonefish Jones stepped back. He looked the three over as if to appraise their resources. He looked to Dan’s stainless diver’s watch. Their sunglasses on the bar.

  “One hundred dollars,” he said.

  “Forget it,” Jordan said. “We’ll find it ourselves.”

  “Yeah,” Tanner added and he and Dan turned back to the bar and pretended to drink their empty beers.

  “Wait, wait,” Bonefish said. “I don’t want you getting lost or hurt. It wouldn’t be good publicity for the island.”

  “Ten dollars,” Jordan said.

  “Ten dollars? I have a family to feed. How about fifty?”

  “Fifteen,” Jordan replied.

  “Twenty. For the children’s sake.”

  “Okay twenty. But the map first.”

 

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