by Coulton, JC
On the way back I stop for a coffee at the diner across the road. It’s busy. I get close to the front of the line. There’s just one man ahead of me. He’s struggling to find the right change. That’s why I happen to be staring out the glass window when Carrie walks out the front of the hotel. At first I don’t recognize her. I’ve never seen her dressed so provocatively. A tiny pink dress, all sparkling with a plunging neckline that is nothing short of sexy. It’s matched with her hot red lipstick and fluffed up hair.
My first reaction is desire. She looks so fucking sexy, I want to stride out there and pull her into my arms like the couple I saw earlier on the street. I start to wonder if she’s going out on a date, and suddenly I’m panicking. I look to see if anyone is meeting her. I’m so tempted to walk up to her and stop her from making a mistake with some other guy—especially if it’s Special Agent Jason Fucking Cooper.
Instead, I stand dead still. She’s different somehow. The way she’s standing is…unusual. And it’s not just the towering heels. Something about this is all wrong. I abandon my place in the coffee line, and walk to the window. From here I can see the makeup on her face and the look in her eyes. She’s waiting for someone. She’s dressed up waiting for someone and it’s not me.
The thought sickens me. Carrie James is mine. I want to look away but my gaze keeps coming back to the smooth skin on her bare thighs. She’s exposed. She’s on show like a piece of meat. I can’t take my eyes of her. I can’t stop wondering about what it means.
Right now, Carrie James—my Carrie—looks like she’s on a date. She’s waiting for another man to pick her up. There may be another set of hands on her tonight. And here I am, holding a bunch of flowers like a complete chump. What a fool I am. The reason she doesn’t want to talk to me is not because I’ve hurt her feelings… It’s because she’s seeing someone else. Fuck!
I look down at the flowers and back up to see her face the second before she gets into a taxi. She’s still alone. There’s no one with her. Just before she closes the door she looks back. She doesn’t see me, but I can see the tense expression on her face. It’s not the face of someone about to go on a date. It’s the face of someone who’s scared. She’s up to something and I am betting it has something to do with April and New Jersey.
I make the decision that second. There’s no time to get down to my car so I dart out to the row of taxis. I throw open the passenger door of the nearest one. The guy looks a little shocked. I tell him I’m NYPD and off duty, and tell him to follow her cab. I’m relieved when he doesn’t ask for my badge. I don’t have one anymore. It’s probably somewhere in Jacob’s desk drawer. He screeches out into the flow of traffic. I can only hope I have a chance at catching up her.
I memorize the number on the taxi’s roof light and tell the driver to hit the gas. He seems more than pleased to have a chance to drive like a renegade. When I assure him that I’ll cover any tolls and speeding fines, he hits the gas even more.
We’re darting in and out of traffic, and horns are blaring, but we keep her in sight. Block by block passes by, and we gain a little more each time. Soon, her cab is only two cars in front of us. I’m not surprised at all when her taxi takes the on-ramp to the bridge to New Jersey. I have seed of hope she may be going to look there for me, but it’s a pipe dream. I remember the icy tone in her voice the last time we spoke.
I tell the driver to stay behind them. Her silhouette comes into focus in the back seat. She never looks back. Now I’m not worried. Even if she were to look around it’s already getting too dark to see. Her cab’s indicator lights go on, signaling an exit. We follow. I ask the driver to switch off his two-way radio so I can concentrate. We’re going to have to stay right on them in order to keep up.
The car passes the bus station, and pulls in to some of the quieter streets. My lungs constrict in my chest as I run through all possible scenarios. She’s either meeting someone, or this has something to do with April. Whatever the case, she’s clearly out of control and alone again. Agent Cooper has either washed his hands of her, or she’s on some bait and switch mission that I’m unaware of.
She’s not safe. My girl is in trouble. I’m leaning forward in my seat, unsure what to do. She’s not legally doing anything wrong or obviously in any danger. I just get the feeling something bad is about to happen. I can feel it in my gut.
I want to call someone who’s on duty. I’m not even in our jurisdiction anymore. No one in the NYPD can help us right now. And what would I say to them anyway? I’m tracking a possible victim who’s wearing a short skirt in public? I’d look like even more of a fool. Now is not the time for that! I can’t be seen anywhere near this case. I’m suspended, for Christ’s sake. I’m pushing it just by following Carrie—even if it’s for personal reasons.
Her cab starts to slow down, and comes to a stop on a block close to where I found Neon. I can tell for sure now, this isn’t a date. My stubborn Carrie is about to do something stupid to find her friend. I can’t believe the FBI has missed this move. From the first day April was taken, she’s been determined to save her, with or without the help of the law. It’s been one of the main causes of conflict between us, and now it’s about to get a whole lot worse.
I pay and thank the driver quickly. Carrie gets out of the cab in front of me. I pause for a second, and wait inside my cab so she doesn’t see me yet. My next move has to be a good one. I can’t afford to fuck it up with this woman again. She’s suspicious of me; more so with Neon’s harassment. If Carrie has taken Neon’s prank calling to heart, she must think something is going on between us.
My girl is hurting. This is what she’s doing to try and take back her power. I watch as she climbs out of the taxi. That sexy little dress hikes up. She makes her way across the street towards a nearby coffee shop. This is when I get out of the cab and head for a spot where I can keep tabs without getting her attention.
After a while, she leaves the coffee shop and walks to one of the abandoned brownstones. It’s the same one where I found Neon. I see a small cluster of working girls hanging back in the corner between two of the buildings. I can’t see their faces but I immediately connect the dots. Carrie James is attempting to go undercover. The dress is to make her look like a hooker. This is gutsy, and incredibly stupid. I need to say something, anything to stop her.
I cross the road at a jog. She’s starting to engage with the girls standing there. I can’t hear what she’s saying but as I get closer I see her talking to one. She calls her April. But this can’t be her. This is one of the girls Neon said was from Buffalo. Fuck! Now it all makes sense. God, this can’t be April Lee. Oh my God! She looks completely different from her photos. She’s wasting away. Her pale skin is covered in red blotches. She’s sick. I watch as Carrie keeps trying to talk to her. Whoever the woman is, she doesn’t seem lucid enough to recognize her. It’s heartbreaking to witness the slap and the drop in Carrie’s shoulders as the woman rejects her.
I’m close enough now to reach out and grab her. Someone needs to. She’s not happy about it.
“Blake, get away from me. I don’t want to talk. Just leave me alone.”
I persist and when she pulls her arm away I reach around and support her with a hand at the lower back. My presence makes April stumble back up the steps she came from. She goes into the brownstone townhouse.
“April, come back!” Carrie screams but my grip stops her from following her friend. “Let me go, Blake. I’ve got to help her.”
I shake my head.
“No way! There’s so much you don’t know. Please, please don’t believe what you see. You need to leave here. This is not what you think.”
“Not what I think! How dare you come here and say that to me now. That’s April. She’s not here of her free will, and you’re aiding and abetting a criminal for the sake of degrading my best friend.”
“You don’t understand, Carrie.”
“I understand what I need to. And I know about you and Neon. I saw the pictu
res in your album, I heard her voice threatening me on the phone, and now I know she was the one who stalked me. You can’t deny any of that Blake. I saw you last night. Just fuck off with your lies, and get out of my life.”
With that, she pulls her hand back and slaps me in the face. It’s something I never thought she’d do, but all the frustration and rage has to come out somehow. There will be a red mark on my face tomorrow for sure.
I reach up and touch my cheek. She hit me with more force than I expected. For second, I let go of her arm. The look on her face is one of shame. Again, I want to hold her, to tell her it’s ok. She looks up, and I sense another pair of eyes on me. We’re no longer alone here. Shit! It’s Cooper behind me.
Chapter Fourteen
Blake
Jason is standing there watching me pull Carrie away from the scene. He’s doing absolutely nothing to help either of us. And he didn’t stop her from getting hurt from that junkie woman Carrie thinks is April. What an asshole, this Cooper guy. Part of me wants to look back at Carrie and say, ‘See? Look at this dick. He doesn’t even care you’re in danger right now. He’s getting off on all of this!’ It would be childish, so I keep it to myself. My resentment towards him is not her concern.
For starters, she doesn’t have any of the inside information on Cooper that Ryan gave me. In fact, if anything, she probably trusts Jason Cooper more than she trusts me right now. I can tell by her body language she’s been with him. I can just tell. I understand this woman so well. It hurts me to admit it. Fuck! How did it come to this? How did she run off and fucked him so fast? It can’t just be Neon. There has to be something more. Not knowing what it is makes me feel so powerless. Especially seeing her here right now. She’s vulnerable and messy, and I want to take her pain away.
“Carrie honey, please come with me. Let’s talk this through.” I’m literally begging her to step away from the building. I just need to get her away from here; away from these prostitutes. Who knows what could happen.
Just then, Jason pipes up. “Carrie, what are you doing out here?”
His tone is accusatory, and she stiffens up. To my surprise, she doesn’t even look at him when she speaks. Instead, her eyes are locked on the doorway where the woman disappeared. She’s desperate and still tugging her arms to get away from my secure hold.
Her outburst and the look on her face are what shock me the most. “Both of you just go. Leave me alone! I’m making more progress here than either of you have in two weeks.”
She shakes her head and give both of us a disgusted look, before pointing a finger at Jason.
“All you care about is your career. You’ve known where she was the whole time! I’m the only one willing to put my ass on the line. You’re weak!” The last word comes out as a hiss before she turns towards me.
“And you, Blake. My oldest friend, I can’t trust you for a minute. You’re a liar and a cheater. You’ve been with Neon this whole time. I don’t believe a word you’re saying and frankly, I know everything that’s been going on. If there’s ever a chance to help take you down, I’m doing it! I’ll testify, I’ll write stories, I don’t care what I have to do but I swear you’ll regret ever messing with me. I trusted you.”
That’s when her face falls and her body crumples. She’s crying again. All the emotion is in her eyes. I’ve hurt her badly, and it looks like I’m not the only one. Whatever Cooper has done sounds just as bad. And he obviously didn’t know she was coming here. Something’s happened between them. She almost looks angrier with him right now than she is at me. She’s furious.
I look back and forth between her beautiful face and Cooper’s self-righteous mug. She’s put on way too much makeup. It’s steadily disintegrating under the tears. I wish she would stop. Jason Cooper has done something to hurt her. She looks like an angry little thing, trapped between two wild animals that are about ready to throw down. What’s important is her happiness. I’ve never seen her so upset.
The tears flow steadily down her face. She’s unable to hold back the sobs.
“Carrie,” I say, “The woman is gone. Come now. It’s best you come with me. We need to talk.”
That’s when Jason moves towards me with eyes of steel. He’s on a mission.
“Stand down, Detective,” he orders. “She’s not going anywhere with you.” He pushes me back, and says, “Blake Anderson, you’re under arrest. You’re going to need to come with me now. I don’t want to handcuff you, but I will if I have to. It’s up to you what happens next. I suggest you take this like a man, for once in your life.”
The nerve of this guy is outrageous. I want to knock him out. He needs to pay the price just for daring to be such an asshole in front of the woman I love.
“And what exactly are the charges?” I add a mocking tone into my voice. How dare he stand there and try to humiliate me. I’m the only one who’s actually looking out for Carrie right now. He’s bent on attacking me for being what he could never be to her.
“We’ve got evidence of ongoing corruption, Detective. Your partnership with Neon Lips is common knowledge, so give it up. You’re being arrested on charges of aiding and abetting a known criminal, but that’s just the beginning. By the time I’m finished with you, there will be nothing left.”
Now he’s the one mocking me and I can’t stand it for a moment longer.
We’re on a busy street and his words have turned my insides to molten liquid. Rage is burning through me; all I can see is his face in a flare of red. He’s gone too far this time. As far as I’m concerned, it’s over. I’m going to pound his head into the ground, and take total pleasure in it.
Right now is when Mark would tell me to think, think, think. There’s no room for AA slogans in my head right now. All that exists is rage. I need to get it out. I make the decision in an instant. My body is moving before I know it. I move in first, smashing him in the jaw with a closed fist. The crunch is deeply satisfying. Cooper stumbles backwards at the impact on his jaw. He doesn’t fall, though. Carrie darts out of the way, thankfully. This is between Cooper and me. I’m not backing down for anybody.
I’m expecting to be tackled at any second by Cooper’s FBI thugs. I’m sure he won’t be travelling alone. These guys always roam in packs. But no one seems to be jumping from the sidelines to assist him. I set myself up for another shot. I learned a long time ago not to give in to my anger, but this is different. This has become too personal.
Jason comes at me again. He’s fast and low, trying to throw his body weight at me. I see it coming though and instead of flinching I step forward. I sense the surprise when I meet his thrust with equal impact. Homeboy looks shocked. Game meets game! I’m taller and broader, but our training puts us on equal footing. I want this guy to regret ever taking a shot. I pull him into the most powerful headlock I can summon.
We hold and wrestle, but he gets in a sneaky uppercut. My chin splits. Cursing him, I pull away and wipe the blood off, my anger swelling in my chest with every second. We may both be bleeding, but it doesn’t stop me from tackling him. I pound him in the ribs, throwing punch after punch. Just then, Carrie steps forward and says something. Cooper gives her a rough push. From the corner of my eye, I see her stumble.
“Carrie, stay out of the way!” he shouts. “Get back in the c—”
Cooper’s instructions are cut off when I throw another punch that makes contact with his jaw. Blood flies as he falls back against the concrete. The force of his push on Carrie wasn’t necessary. He’s intentionally being rough and I’m so angry he just did that. I was the one trying to make sure she didn’t get hurt when this asshole stepped in.
I’m going to wake up with bruises and so is he. That’s good enough for me. I go for his throat. I’m physically exhausted and breathing hard, but there’s no way I’m giving in. The chokehold I manage to firm up will soon stop him breathing enough for him to pass out. I tighten my grip. My wrists ache but I persist. You’ve got to take what you want in this life or it’ll be taken
from you.
“Come on, you fucker. Tap out!” I hiss it in his ear. It makes him struggle more. He’s a fighter. Jason Cooper won’t be surrendering anytime soon. I’ll give him credit for persistence at least. He may have been sitting behind a desk, but he’s got balls; that and some kind of training. The man is all muscle and tendons.
I instinctively glance up to check on Carrie. I want to see she’s okay after that. She’s the most important thing here. I look in each direction while holding Jason down. I can’t see her anywhere. I glance around again checking between the cars and the sidewalk. Where is she? With a final shove to his throat I let go and stand up. I’m tempted to lay a lethal steel cap boot to his ribs, but the most important thing is to find her.
“Carrie, where are you?”
Fuck! She was just here.
“Where is she?”
There’s still blood dripping from the cut on my chin, and my shirt must be covered. I’m wild-eyed, running up and down the rows of parked cars. She has to be somewhere.
“Cooper!” I shout. “Get your ass up and help me!”
I direct this at the man who I was intent on doing some damage on just moments before. He’s now crouched in a crumpled heap clutching his throat.
“Get up!”
The panic rises up in my gut. Carrie’s not hiding anywhere. I eventually head over to where Cooper is on the ground.
“This is on you, asshole!” I tell him.
“Fuck you, Blake.”
His voice is almost unintelligible from my choking and regret washes over me. Fuck! If we weren’t fighting like kids, she would still be here not off walking the streets alone, wearing that dress.
“She probably went back home,” Cooper manages.
I ignore him. “Carrie where are you?” I can hear sirens in the background. Shit is getting real again. I let my anger take over back then. I need to back it up and breathe before I do anything more. I need to make a plan, but everything feels too big. More than anything else, I need to see Carrie’s face, but the woman I love is nowhere as the blood soaks down my shirt and shame comes over me.