I’d expected Isabelle to be thrilled since this was what she’d wanted all along, but instead she seemed anxious. “You didn’t do this because of me did you?”
“No. I thought it was the right thing to do.”
Isabelle stared at me as if she didn’t agree. “Why?”
“I don’t want him always wondering if he should have tried to work things out with the girl he’s loved since kindergarten.” Okay, saying that to Isabelle made a lot of sense. Maybe I had done the right thing. Who’d want to go through life wondering if their soul mate was still in love with their first love? It might hurt now, like hell, but if it made things right eventually, it would be worth the temporary heartache.
“That’s selfless of you, Ellie. I don’t know if I’d do the same if I was you.”
“If he chooses Amber, then he was meant to be with her all along.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince Isabelle or myself.
“That sounds like something out of a self-help book,” she replied, casting me a doubtful look. “If you and Reed are in love, it doesn’t make sense to break up.”
“What about Amber? You were sure they belonged together.”
Isabelle just stared at me sadly and shook her head. “I was wrong.”
“This isn’t forever,” I assured her.
Isabelle took me to me home and she spent the night. We ate pizza, opened a bottle of wine, and watched movies. Although we didn’t talk about Reed, I got the feeling Isabelle thought I’d made a huge mistake.
I’d just wanted to do the right thing for everyone, but I was afraid I’d messed things up, and I wasn’t sure Reed would ever forgive me.
“Holy shit! You look like you were in a fight,” Cora exclaimed when she saw me.
Why exactly this made me smile, I don’t know. It’s probably because Cora’s brutal honesty was a welcome change from the pitying looks I’d been getting from Dad and Isabelle, who watched me as if they thought I might suddenly lose control and break down.
“You didn’t get into a fight, did you?” she added, hesitantly.
I laughed and it hurt. “Cora, you said that like I get into fights all the time. ‘Oh, Ellie, you didn’t get into another fight, did you?” I mimicked with exaggerated drama in my tone.
Cora cracked a smile. “At least I know you’re well enough to laugh about it. I was just afraid you might have gotten into with Amber.”
“What?”
“I can visualize the whole scene. She gets a little too close to Reed and you decide to fight for your man.”
“That sounds more interesting than what really happened.”
“Well?” Cora prodded, waving her hand for me to hurry up and start talking.
“I fell down the stairs. It’s boring compared to your girl fight story. Sorry.”
Cora’s expression suddenly turned serious, and I realized she knew that someone big had happened.
There was no way to sugarcoat it, so I just said simply, “I broke up with Reed.” I expected her to be surprised, to tell me I’d either done the right thing or that I was crazy as hell. I did not expect her to simply stare at me speechless, and it was more than a little unnerving.
“Amber asked me back off and give her a chance with Reed,” I explained, wishing Cora would say something.
Just when I was beginning to think she wouldn’t say anything, Cora plopped down next to me on the couch and said, “You should have called me.”
“You’d have rushed home.”
“You’re damn right I would. If you’re ever out of town and my world starts raining crap, don’t think I’m not using speed dial to get you back here ASAP.”
“That’s a fair warning,” I replied with a smile, waiting for her to launch into the advice that would help me straighten out my love life.
Cora didn’t say anything except for when she asked for the remote and started stalking our go-to movies.
“You think I made a mistake?” I asked, watching her anxiously.
Cora turned her head and gave me a direct, knowing look. “Don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I admitted anxiously. I’d been debating all day about calling Reed or going to see him, but I thought he might need time to cool off after last night.
“This isn’t going to be fixed with movies, chocolate and coffee,” she informed me as if I didn’t already know that.
“I want to call Reed or go see him, but I don’t want him to feel sorry for me.”
She seemed to think about that a moment. “You should call first then because you look like someone that people should feel sorry for, especially with that big white bandage on your head.”
“I know that, Cora. I meant I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose me because I look pitiful.”
“You mean well Ellie, but trying to protect people by keeping things from them didn’t work out for you with Isabelle. I doubt it’ll work with Reed either.”
She was right. I needed to talk to Reed, but I had no clue what I’d say other than ‘I’m sorry’ and that didn’t seem like enough. I hadn’t trusted him and hadn’t believed in him when he said he knew what he wanted.
Picking up my phone, I called Reed but for the first time ever he didn’t answer. I left a message for him to call me and waited. Two movies and half gallon of ice cream later, he still hadn’t called.
“Try again,” Cora told me, but I could tell she had expected him to call back.
I called again, but this time I didn’t leave a message. I sent a text, but that went unanswered as well.
Over the next couple of days I called and sent at least a dozen messages, but I still had not heard from Reed. Isabelle said that he’d been busy with work, and I was relieved to know he was okay but devastated because he didn’t want to talk to me. I now realized how foolish I’d been, and I was desperate to reach Reed.
I was also afraid I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter 20
I stared in shock at my boss, Elizabeth Brown, who sat frowning at me from behind her desk, an ominous pile of paperwork sitting in front of her.
“I really am sorry to do this to you, especially while you’re on sick leave,” Mrs. Brown said, watching me closely. “Do you deny that you had a sexual relationship with a Sergeant Bentley while he was your patient?”
Hearing Mrs. Brown’s accusation of unprofessionalism, I felt sick. Of course I knew that relationships with patients were unprofessional, but I hadn’t thought of Reed as a patient because he was more to me and always had been. Shaken, I had no idea how to began to explain this to my boss.
I looked up at Mrs. Brown, who was waiting for my answer, and I saw from her expression that she fully expected me to deny any involvement with Reed. “I’m sorry,” I told her.
She stiffened, her eyes widening with shock. Sliding her glasses down her nose, she peered at me with an unreadable expression. “You understand that I’ll have to let you go.”
I nodded grimly. “Yes.”
“I don’t know if any further action will be taken against you, but I’ll do what I can to keep this from going any higher up.”
“I appreciate that, Mrs. Brown,” I said sitting anxiously on the edge of my seat, ready to bolt as soon as I was dismissed.
Mrs. Brown’s eyes softened. “Ellie, what happened?”
I told her the whole story about knowing Reed since high school, and how we’d met again while he was in the army. She was sympathetic and listened. When I was finished, she surprised me by standing up, coming from behind her desk and hugging me. Mrs. Brown was a fair boss, but she was more stern than affectionate so the uncharacteristic gesture humbled me. She wished me good luck, and I left her office still shocked.
It was as if I’d released a storm of bad luck when I’d chosen to break up with Reed. I was mad at myself for trying to fix something that wasn’t even broken. If Reed and Amber were meant to b
e together, they’d get back together whether I broke up with him or not. It wasn’t as if I needed to push him into her arms, which I’d foolishly done.
Overwhelmed with emotion, I drove to straight to Reed’s house, and saw with despair Amber’s car parked in his driveway. I didn’t stop. I kept on driving, knowing that I had no right to feel hurt when Reed was doing what I’d asked him to do. Still, the visual of him in bed with Amber ripped through me with such brutal force that I had to pull over and take a moment to get control of myself.
Once I’d calmed down, I glanced at my watch, knowing I had an appointment to try on my bridesmaid dress this afternoon with Aunt Lacy and Brooke. I didn’t need to glance in the mirror to know that I looked like hell. Wearing faded jeans and athletic shoes with a navy t-shirt and ball cap, I wondered if they’d even claim me as family. They surely wouldn’t when they saw my bruised face. I let out a hysterical laugh, thinking I’d borrow Cora’s words and tell Aunt Lacy that I’d been in a fight.
I strolled unapologetically into the exquisite boutique almost twenty minutes late and saw Aunt Lacy with her arms folded over her stylish gray suit and Brooke glancing at her expensive Rolex.
“Hi, Aunt Lacy. Hey, Brooke.” Inhaling a whiff of flowery smelling air, I forced a smile.
Aunt Lacy’s face scrunched as if she’d just smelled something bad, her eyes flicking over me with distaste before lifting to my face and gasping. Her hand flew out and touched Brooke’s arm. “Dear Lord, what on earth happened to your face?”
Helping myself to a cup of coffee from the carafe, I poured some cream and stirred in sugar. “I fell down the stairs. It looks worse than it feels.”
“You’ve got a black eye!” Aunt Lacy exclaimed in horror.
“Mother, I’m sure it will heal before the wedding,” Brooke said, patting Aunt Lacy’s arm.
Ah, so that’s why they were concerned with my face. “I’m sure it will be cleared up by the wedding since that’s two months away,” I assured them both, unable to completely erase the sarcasm from my words.
“In the future you must be more careful,” Aunt Lacy admonished. “You wouldn’t want to ruin Brooke’s wedding with your clumsiness.”
“Mother,” Brooke said, defending me. “No one will be looking at Ellie anyway. Everyone knows the bride is the star of her own wedding.”
The two of them looked at each other and smiled.
“Absolutely,” I agreed.
After I was escorted to a dressing room, I slipped on a beautiful ivory dress with sheer sleeves, a V-neck, fitted bodice with an A-line skirt. It was one of the loveliest dresses I’d ever seen. “I thought the dress was purple,” I said to Brooke.
“We thought that would be too garish, besides eggplant was last season’s ‘it’ color and I want to be original.”
“It looks a little tight. Have you gained weight?” Aunt Lacy asked frowning.
“I don’t think so.” Since I didn’t weigh myself regularly, I didn’t know for sure.
“You must have,” Aunt Lacy insisted. “Brooke and I do a spin class every morning at five am to keep in shape. We don’t eat bread, sugar, carbs, meat or anything with artificial additives.”
“That sounds …effective.” It sounded like torture. “I guess the two of you don’t like The Pit. Dad and I love that place. It’s our favorite.”
“I’m sure that it is,” Aunt Lacy continued, looking down her nose at me. “You’re dad was always so common.”
I stiffened, offended on my dad’s behalf. It wasn’t the first time she’d said something negative about him and it wasn’t even the most critical comment she’d made, but it was the first time I wasn’t going to let it go. “You say that as if there’s something wrong with it. My dad is a good man, he’s hard working and he’s been the best mom and dad to me.”
Aunt Lacy rolled her eyes. “Hunter McAllister is a blue collar worker that never finished college and wouldn’t be your father if he hadn’t taken advantage of Jonathon’s sister before she was even out of high school.”
“They were in love, Aunt Lacy.” Mom was actually seven months older than Dad and he did not take advantage of her.
“One must always live up to one’s full potential,” Aunt Lacy retorted coolly.
“Who determines one’s full potential, you?” I asked quietly.
“Eleanor, what has gotten into you?” Aunt Lacy snapped.
“Mother,” Brooke whined. “Please, remember what we discussed.”
“From the look on your face, I was what was discussed.” My temper was rising quickly, and I struggled to remain calm, not wanting to say something I’d later regret.
“Ellie, Mother and I are concerned about you,” Brooke said, her critical gaze sliding over me, searching for flaws and seeming to find them in abundance. She gestured for me to sit in one of the chairs in the dressing area, and I saw the boutique manager listening with interest.
I sighed in frustration. “Brooke, the dress can be let out. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It’s not the dress, and we have all been fretting about you,” Brooke cooed sympathetically. “Of course, it is not only Mother and I. Father and Davis are also troubled.”
“You’ve been fretting about me?”
“Certainly. You are family. Your behavior reflects on all of us,” Brooke continued, missing my sarcasm. Aunt Lacy glided to Brooke’s side in a show of support for whatever Brooke was about to tell me. “Considering the circumstances, it is understandable that you would feel some jealousy and maybe even have some unresolved feelings for Davis.”
I froze. “You think I have feelings for Davis?” I asked, surprised.
“Don’t you?” Aunt Lacy asked softly.
“No.”
“You’re obviously heartbroken,” Brooke observed, looking down at me.
“I just broke up with my boyfriend!”
From the fake sympathy looks they were giving me, neither believed me. “Maybe you should talk to someone. I’ll give you the name of my therapist.”
“I don’t need a therapist,” I clipped, standing up and going back into the dressing room without a backward look.
A couple of minutes later I was dressed again in my own clothes and reconsidering a therapist. I laughed, thinking it wouldn’t matter because even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to afford one.
The enormity of all that had happened hit me full force. Reed was seeing Amber, and it had been my idea because I’d broken up with him and told him to do that. I’d been fired from my job for having sex with Reed, and my family thought I was still hung up on Davis.
I went home and changed into my running shorts and shoes, grabbed my music and ran. Seven miles later, I returned home, showered and crashed.
The next morning I didn’t want to get up, and I had nowhere to be so I stayed in bed. If it hadn’t been for the half a dozen phone calls and texts from Davis, I might have continued to hole up in my room, but I didn’t want to keep ignoring him. I sent him a text, agreeing to meet for coffee and reluctantly got myself out of bed.
I was tired.
It took a lot of effort to pull on jeans, a t-shirt and hoodie, and I didn’t see the point in trying to cover my bruises so I went without make up, and pulled my hair back in a ponytail.
I walked out my front door and ran straight into a solid wall of muscle. The muscle had arms and they encircled my waist and steadied me.
“Hey, Ellie,” Jase drawled with his usual grin, only this time it vanished as soon as he got a look at me.
“Jase, what’re you doing here?”
He didn’t answer right away.
I frowned. “Jase?”
He blinked, seeming disconcerted. “Yeah, I was just dropping this off for Cora. She left it in my truck last night.”
“You went out with Cora?” I asked with interest.
“Not on a date. I went to see her play at Jones Hall, and I gave her ride home,” he said as if it were no big deal.
I smiled
with interest. Cora hadn’t gotten home until late last night, so I was thinking it might have been a little more than a ride home. Whatever had happened, though, Jase didn’t seem pleased about it. A moment later, I discovered that it was me that was causing the deep frown on his face.
“Ellie,” he said hesitantly. “You don’t look good.”
“Thanks, Jase. I’d try a different line with Cora. Something like, ‘Wow! You look amazing.’”
He flashed a wry smile. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he replied cautiously. “Shit. I’m just gonna ask. Did someone hit you?” Jase looked suddenly furious.
“No, I tripped on a skateboard and fell down the stairs.” He cocked a brow as if he didn’t believe me. I was getting a lot of that. “It’s true. I was running after Reed and I wasn’t paying attention. I’m okay. I have a bump on the head and a sprained wrist. I look worse than I feel.”
“You were running after Reed?” He said this as if it was something he couldn’t wrap his mind around. “I’d have guessed it would have been the other way around.”
Obviously, Reed hadn’t told Jase we’d broken up. “I broke up with Reed and told him to work things out with Amber.”
Jase’s expression was unreadable. “Why were you running after him?”
I sighed. “He was furious with me, and I wanted to do something to make it right.”
“Well,” he replied slowly. “You told him to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. That kind of shit screws with a guy’s ego. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Nothing that makes any sense to me now,” I answered wearily. “I know I screwed up.”
“I don’t mean it can’t be fixed.” He raked a hand through his short, sandy-brown hair. “You didn’t listen to my last advice or this wouldn’t have happened.”
Frowning, I stared at him quizzically. What he’d said to me the night of the Halloween party, before I’d spoken to Amber, came back to me. ‘Don’t let this shit fuck things up.’ I hadn’t realized at the time how important that advice was.
“You have any more words of wisdom?” I asked hopefully.
Fireflies From Heaven Page 17