by H. D. Gordon
But life was about growing, right? And perhaps that included the people you chose to love.
The smell of the stew I was preparing for supper filled the small space, and every one of my family members was present for this final meal in our pitiful house.
Demarco and Delia were at the table, playing a game of cards and cursing at one another every so often as they slapped cards down on the table. Devon was lounging by the fire, stirring the contents of the black pot hanging over the flames every so often, a book in his hand and his blue eyes fixed on the page as he did so.
My father and Jodi were in their usual spots on the old sofa, his arm slung over her shoulders and the other raising a glass of shine to his mouth. Ada sat on his lap, sucking her two middle fingers and twirling her hair. She looked so tiny next to my father’s monstrous form, so fragile.
I sat in a wooden chair in the back of the room, watching it all. Analise was positioned between my knees, and I was braiding her curly hair at her request. My fingers were slick with the oil I’d applied to her scalp to add some shine, and my heart sat in my throat as I watched our father tickle Ada, as she giggled and squirmed as she sat on his lap.
It was never more clear to me than in that moment that if I did this thing, if I took my siblings and ran halfway across the world with them, leaving my father behind in his stubbornness, I really could never return. Watching the love that flashed in his glassy eyes as he played lovingly with Ada laid the truth absolutely bare.
He would kill me on the spot if I ever came back.
Because of course he would know it had been me, that it had been my plan. My brothers, for all their brawn, listened to what I told them to do. They were males, yes, but if there was an Alpha of the family beyond my father, that Wolf was me.
Ana sat silently between my knees as I tamed her wild hair, humming a melody that I assumed she had learned at school, fiddling with the little doll I’d made her for her birthday this past year. She had asked for the doll, while Ada had asked for a slingshot. The contrast between the two, despite them being identical in appearance, always made me smile. They could not be more opposite in personality.
Once I was done with Ana’s hair, and the stew had simmered long enough to be ready, we set the table and gathered around. My father took the seat at the head, and the rest of us filled the mismatched chairs that were left.
Before we began to eat, he raised his almost empty glass of shine and grinned at me with every tooth in his mouth showing.
“To Dita,” my father said, looking me in the eyes, his dark ones filled with love and appreciation as he held my gaze. “She takes care of all of us and never complains… I couldn’t ask for a better daughter.”
It was all I could do to force my lips to curve up in a return smile, to keep the sound of the ice on my cold heart cracking from reaching their ears. I raised my glass along with my siblings, taking my father’s praise in much the same way that I would take his daughters come this time tomorrow evening. My throat was tight, my hands balled into hard fists beneath the table.
It was Devon’s voice that filled my head, pulling me back from whatever hole I’d been about to fall into.
“It’s the right thing,” my big brother told me. “And we’re doing it together.”
Dev would never know how much those words meant to me in that moment, never fully grasp the strength I drew from him just to remain relaxed in my chair.
“Thank you, Dita,” the rest of my family—save for Jodi’s old salty ass—echoed as they also raised their cups in reflection of our father.
My smile hid my heartache as I replied. “You’re all very welcome… Now let’s eat.”
The images of that last supper were still rolling through my mind as the moon rose and fell that evening.
Now, I stood on a dock overlooking the Zouri, the sun still a half hour or so from rising. I’d put off this last piece of business until now, but this was all that was left to tie up for me. Tonight, my family and I would be speeding away from this cursed land forevermore.
It was cold this morning, colder than perhaps it had been all season, and my breath hung in clouds in the air as I stared out at the wide rushing river that was the Zouri. Overhead, gulls cried out their presence, and steam ships making early deliveries blasted their horns as they pulled into port.
I kept my hands in my pockets, resting over the irons that hung steady at my hips, thinking about how this would be the last time I would watch the sun rise over these waters. And that was more than fine with me.
I’d climbed to the top of one of the structures that hung out over the dock. The rooftop of the dock house offered great views in every direction, and also concealed me from sight with its high railing. From this spot, over the years I had watched hundreds of boats come and go, had witnessed thousands of meetings and exchanges.
Just before the sun really made an appearance in the sky, I spotted the male I’d been waiting for. Leon the Leprechaun was recognizable by his short and stout stature, if not for the same old stained clothing and shiny black shoes he always wore. He hobbled to the end of one of the docks and spoke with a few of the ship workers there. Then he hobbled back to the other end and lit up a smoke as he watched them work.
I stood from where I’d been crouched on the rooftop, getting ready to hop over the edge and have one final little chat with the loose end I still hadn’t fully decided how to tie up.
Of the handful of people who knew what I’d done to Ezra Ikers, Leon was the one I knew could really trip me up.
But right before I jumped off the roof, I stopped dead in my movements, because heading toward Leon now was a Hound I’d hoped had left town already.
It seemed Mr. Erek Blackwood was nothing if not persistent.
I cursed under my breath, crouching once more as I peered at the two males from the distance.
From the way Leon paused upon seeing Erek, I inferred that he had been expecting this visit from the Hound about as much as I had, and I watched as the idiot pondered taking to his heels and running. You’d be amazed at what you can gleam from body language, even from forty feet away.
Luckily, Leon decided on playing it cool, and he offered his hand to Erek, who took it and shook it. I leaned a little closer to the edge of the roof, tilting my head and concentrating on my powerful Wolf hearing.
“How can I help ye, officer?” Leon asked.
Erek was much taller than Leon, and even from this distance, I could see that Erek didn’t think much of the male.
“I just have a few more questions I forgot to ask you the other day,” Erek replied.
My throat felt dry, and I swallowed hard as I gripped the ledge of the building hard enough to crack the wood.
Leon sucked at his gold teeth and leaned back on his heels. “Ask, then,” he said. “I got work to do.”
Erek did not look amused at this flippant response. “You said that you didn’t hear the loud bang the morning before Mr. Ikers went missing, isn’t that right?”
“I told ye, I was below decks, workin’ on one of the engines. It’s very loud down there, and I tend to zone out. I didn’t hear anything.”
Leon turned to go, but Erek shot forward and gripped the smaller male’s arm. From the ugly twist that came to Leon’s lips, I would guess that Erek was gripping hard.
“I want you to think a little harder,” Erek said. “Are you absolutely sure you can’t think of anything else about that morning?”
Leon gritted his teeth, tilting his head back so that he could look up at the Hound. “Let go of me, ye fuckin’ pig,” Leon spat.
I knew better than to think I was off the hook just yet. I leaned a little further over the edge of the rooftop I was still crouched on, straining my ears to pick up every word.
Don’t squeal, Leon, you son of a bitch, I thought, sending the words up as if in prayer. I swear to the Gods I will kill you if you do.
If Leon had been a Wolf, I could have just spoken this command into his
head telepathically. I let out a low breath when Erek released his hold on the male.
But then the Hound reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag, and I didn’t need to hear the metallic clinking from inside to know what it carried. Erek slipped the little velvety pouch into the breast pocket of Leon’s shirt.
“Perhaps this will help clear your memory,” Erek told him, and I sent up a string of curses that would have made a pirate go red in the cheeks.
Leon sucked at his gold teeth, considering, the bastard. “Now that I think ‘bout it, maybe I did hear a loud noise that mornin’,” he yielded, glancing all around to make sure they were alone.
My hands, resting over my guns at my waist, twitched with anticipation. I wasn’t even sure I was still breathing. All I could do was pray to the Gods that the male didn’t snitch.
But then Erek removed another small, velvety bag from his jacket and bounced it up and down in his palm. This time, the sound of the gold coins clanking inside was as loud as… Well, a gunshot in my ears.
“I see,” Erek said. “If you have any other information that could set me on a possible lead, I’d be happy to double the weight of these pouches.”
Even though the old Leprechaun pretended to consider, sucking at his damn teeth again as if they were a fine lady’s teats, I knew before he even spoke the words that I was screwed, that I should have killed the son of a bitch when I’d had the chance, that I’d been weak and foolish not to do so.
“I’ll give ye a name,” Leon said, his voice lowering so much that even with my Werewolf hearing, I had a hard time making it out.
But the next two words rang loud and clear, anyway. The whisper they were spoken in may as well have been a shout.
“Dita Silvers,” Leon, the traitorous piece of shit uttered, “She’s the one ye should talk to.”
Chapter 23
I should have killed him.
I should have slipped into his bedroom that night after he’d first told me that Erek had come sniffing around. Should have snuck in while he’d been sleeping and gotten the job done.
Loose ends. Loose ends unraveled entire tapestries.
I wasted no time shifting into my Wolf form and racing home as if the most fearsome of beasts were on my heels. The sun rose overhead, heralding in a new day, completely indifferent to the near crumbling of my world around me.
I forced my mind to clear these thoughts. They would do absolutely zero good at the moment. I still had time; things were not over yet. I could still gather up my family and get us away from here; not just away from Borden and Lukas and The Mound, but Erek and his Gods damned investigation into the murder I’d committed.
Maybe I deserved to be caught.
I swatted that thought away quickly. It was another useless sentiment.
Racing past the lavender fields, the light purple stalks swaying slightly in the breeze, I could hardly focus long enough to calm myself, but I managed.
Erek now knew that I was somehow implicated in Ezra’s murder. Perhaps that had always been inevitable. Perhaps the scales of justice had fated us to end up sleeping together, only so that he could eventually figure out my treachery.
Perhaps that was the cost of stealing a life.
I was learning slowly that this cost kept adding up, that it went beyond the bad dreams and anvil of guilt that seemed to have settled permanently on my shoulders. The universe had ironic ways of balancing things out, and everyone’s debts got settled in the end.
More morbid thoughts filled my mind as I kept my head low between my shoulders, my ears pressed flat against my head, my paws flying over dirt and past fields, racing the rising sun.
Soon the edge of The Mound came into view, and I took the small grain of comfort offered in the sheer vastness of the place. The ramshackle huts and houses that the Wolves who lived here had constructed stretched on endlessly in both directions. There were thousands of us who lived here, too poor to live anywhere else, and it would take a while for Erek to find me, even if this was the first place he chose to look, which was unlikely.
Eventually, though, I had no doubt that that cute and keen nose of his would lead him here, and then the real work on his part would begin. The Wolves in The Mound were not particularly chatty when it came to outsiders. They did not take kindly to a stranger strolling in and asking questions about one of their own, and because most of them engaged in some level of illegal activity, they could also sniff out a Hound from a mile away.
But I knew that even that line of defense would crumble under Erek’s dogged persistence, and eventually, he would locate the little house where my family and I had lived all these years.
And by that time, I planned on us being long gone. Nothing more than dust in the wind.
Still, I ran.
I ran not for my own life, but for those I wanted so badly to protect. There was nothing I would not do for my family, clearly even taking a life that would come back to haunt me again and again.
For Ada and Ana, Delia, Demarco, and Devon… For them, I would set the world on fire and let it burn if it meant protecting them. Maybe that was wrong. Maybe it made me a bad person, but it was what it was. As cold-hearted as the world claimed me to be, I loved my siblings more than was likely wise for any one person to love.
I passed a few other Wolves up early, some drawing water from the well, others smoking pipes of Wolfsbane in chairs arranged around barrels of burning fires. For the early hour, however, most were still asleep. In my Wolf form, I wound down the makeshift paths that cut through the ramshackle structures, and at last, reached the pitiful shack that soon would no longer be my home.
I almost breathed a sigh of relief just at the sight of it.
Then, I caught a familiar scent on the air; a scent that was starkly out of place in The Mound.
It was the scent of expensive, sandalwood-scented cologne.
For all of a few seconds, I stood in my Wolf form, unsure what to do, staring at my house as if I had never seen it before.
Then, the paralysis wore off, and though my stomach was as tight as the knot of a noose, I shifted back into my mortal form.
With a deep breath, I slid my hands into my pockets, taking comfort in the feel of the irons beneath them, and approached the front door of my house.
The door opened with a familiar creak, and as soon as it did, the scent of that expensive, sandalwood cologne strengthened.
So I was not surprised to see Lukas Borden standing in the middle of my family room, decked in his fitted suit and shiny shoes, as out of place in The Mound as a tiger in the ocean.
Time seemed to slow in that moment, as it often does in moments of extreme tension. I observed all that was going on in one sweeping glance. I saw Lukas in the center of the room, his head almost scraping the low ceiling. I saw Devon standing over by the table, his body relaxed, but his mood palpable enough for me to feel without physical cues. Delia was over by the fire, watching with sharp eyes and thinly veiled suspicion.
And Ada and Analise, sitting at the table near Devon, who was hovering near them out of what I was sure was a strong protective instinct. The girls sat in chairs right beside each other, their little faces scrunched in concentration as they poured over whatever homework I was sure was meant to be turned in tomorrow.
When I entered, Lukas turned toward me, a slow, Wolfish smile coming to his face. “Dita,” he said, “you’re home.”
It was all I could do to keep from reaching for my irons, to keep from acting on the impulse that had gotten me into the whole situation with Ezra in the first place. I forced my shoulders to remain at ease, my expression to appear indifferent.
“Mr. Borden,” I said, shutting the door behind me. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”
The smirk he gave me said that he knew this was no pleasure, but he said simply, “I just thought it would be nice to come check on you. See how you were doing… You ran off so fast the other evening that I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”
/> I crossed the room casually, meeting my older brother’s gaze for only a moment before placing myself between Lukas and the girls, my hands still tucked coolly in my pockets.
“How considerate of you,” I said. “I’m doing very well, thank you.”
Lukas glanced around, his eyes surveying the walls of the shack, the dirt floor that was separated from our shoes by only threadbare carpets gathered from the curb of someone with his kind of money, who had tossed them away ages ago.
“I can see that,” he said, and took a few steps around me, pretending to examine some trinkets hanging on the walls. I shifted to keep my front facing him, angling myself once again between him and my girls.
He pretended not to notice. His dark eyes met mine over his wide shoulder. “You never told me you had such a lovely family,” he continued. “Pity the rest of them aren’t here so I could meet them as well.”
My fingers twitched in my pockets, the irons weighing heavily at my hips. We were all damn lucky that my father wasn’t here, but there was no need to voice that. I forced an easy smile to my lips. It took enormous effort. “Yes, well, I’m sure you have better things to do,” I said.
Lukas came to a stop near me, so close that if I leaned forward and stood on my tiptoes, I could kiss him. I could feel Devon’s gaze on us, could sense that he was perhaps even tenser than I was at the moment, which was certainly saying something. The twins smiled up at me, but returned to their work, unaware of the very real danger they were currently sitting in.
My eyes burned with the urge to light up Wolf-gold, my throat itching to release a low growl; a natural, maternal instinct that took massive effort to deny. For a moment, I was absolutely positive that this situation was going to end very badly, perhaps in the same manner the situation with Ezra Ikers had ended, and then, I would really need to head for the hills.
Killing a female-beating, nobody Wolf like Ezra was one thing. Taking out a powerful, connected Wolf like Lukas Borden was a whole other matter. If I was feeling the aftershocks related to Ezra, I was certain I would feel the entire damn world shake when it came to Lukas.