by P. Jameson
Blister nodded.
Surge eyed him. “At Annie’s?”
Blister glared. Fucking Surge had been so friendly with her. Had his hands on her, and she’d touched him too.
Surge’s shoulders lost their tension. “Wait, so… Annie. You were with Annie, not the cats.”
“What does it matter to you?”
Surge’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t answer.
“I swear to fuck,” Drake muttered. “Every last one of you need your asses whooped. Blister, tell them what the fuck is going on with you.”
Blister scowled at his alpha.
“Fine.” Drake sighed. “Our boy’s found his intended.”
Surge stiffened, and even Diz looked uncomfortable.
“Looks like little miss Annie belongs to Blister,” Drake continued.
“That true?” Diz asked.
Well, shit. Yes, it was, but she didn’t belong to him.
Blister gave a quick nod.
Surge whistled low. “Wow.”
It wasn’t a judgmental sound, but Blister automatically felt judged. Like his pack was comparing the monster to the beauty and finding they were a horrible match. He didn’t want that from them even if it was true.
“That’s…” Surge shook his head, lost for words. “That’s fucking perfect,” he said, jumping down off the tailgate and crowding Blister’s personal space. His face lit with excitement, and Blister knew one of his trademark cackles was coming on. “You’ll take such good care of her, bro, I know it. And that woman can cook a mean fucking cheesecake, I swear. Ask her to make you one.” Surge clapped his hands together obnoxiously, oblivious to Blister’s squirming at the mention of cheesecake. “This is going to be fucking epic, man. Congrats.”
Blister raised an eyebrow at Drake as if to say, now you let him down easy. Because his decision to not claim Annie hadn’t changed no matter what his wolf wanted.
“I gotta go,” Blister mumbled, scooting around Surge to get to his own truck.
Surge laughed. “Alright then. Give your girl a kiss for me, yeah?” He laughed again, muttering under his breath, “Blister and Annie. I’ll be a hotdog in hell, that one blindsided me.”
The drive to Annie’s was short and didn’t give Blister much time to think. The crew was gone for the night, leaving him alone with her. He considered going straight to the cellar but couldn’t leave things the way he had earlier. He was solid now, and he needed to make sure she was too.
He walked around to the back and tapped lightly on the door. When she didn’t answer, he knocked harder. Still nothing, so he turned the knob and let himself in.
Annie sat at the bar, staring at a plate of food, using her fork to move pieces of it around. Her gaze snapped up when he entered the kitchen, and she looked almost… relieved.
“Hey,” he said.
There was a slight lift of her mouth. “I would ask if you want dinner but I’m sure you’d find a reason you don’t.”
So sure. As if he wouldn’t hesitate at all. Had he been that unkind to her? He’d only been trying to protect them both.
He came to a stop, as close to her as he dared, leaning over the bar.
“Annie.” His voice was soft, giving him away, and she looked at him, her blue eyes big and cautious.
There was no hiding the emotion he felt. And part of him didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted to tell her everything. What he was, what she was. How he needed her, wanted her, fucking couldn’t stand the idea of them not together. That the reason he ran all the time was because caring for someone else scared the shit out of him. He was a coward, keeping his heart locked away so he could never lose anyone again. Never fail anyone again.
“You’ve been kind to me,” he whispered. “Thank you.”
She slid her hand across the counter slowly, warning him of her intent. He wouldn’t stop her this time. Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes as her skin made contact with his in a rush of sensation that threatened to take him under. She ran her fingers over the scars on his forearm until she reached his hand. He opened his eyes to watch the journey her touch would take, but she stopped there, her hand resting lightly on his. Waiting.
His move.
He turned his palm up, catching her slender fingers between his.
“See?” she said softly. “It’s not so bad, is it?”
Bad? Holding her hand? No, it was fucking wonderful. And he wanted more. He wanted to feel her lips, wanted to taste her mouth. Cradle her cheek as he explored her. Wanted to know the way her body would feel pressed against his, how her curves would give to his hard planes. Her scent. That sweet, sweet scent. He wanted it on his body, to reassure him she was his.
Shit. His control was close to snapping.
He brought her hand up to drop a kiss to her fingers, praying she wasn’t disgusted by his mouth.
“I’ll take that dinner now. If that’s alright.”
Annie nodded, pulling away to warm up the food she’d made him.
He watched her, his heart full and longing. This could be them every night if he wasn’t so fucked up. Her, moving about the kitchen while he watched, anxious to get her alone later so he could show her how he felt. They’d wake together in the morning and she’d still be his.
Annie set the plate of pot roast in front of him and stepped back. Blister took a bite, closing his eyes to savor it. Damn, his mate was a good cook.
A sound of satisfaction slipped out. “This is delicious, Annie.”
“I’m glad you like it,” she said quietly. “Just put your plate in the sink when you’re done, okay? I’m going to bed.”
She left before he could answer, and he didn’t quite know what to think about her quick exit.
He finished his dinner and rinsed his plate, popping it in the dishwasher. His gaze went to the back door. He should leave, but he was tired of leaving. His animal was unsettled. Needed something. Needed peace.
Blister glanced toward the stairs. His angel was just a floor up. He could go to her. Just be in her vicinity. Maybe watch her while she slept. It would help. Those few hours with her in the cellar had been pure heaven. He could have that again.
Slowly, he climbed the stairs, not sure which room was hers. Several doors were closed, but one was open and he checked it first. It was hers, and it was exactly what he’d expected. A queen sized bed covered with fluffy pillows and a navy bedspread dotted with white flowers. The walls were dark. Gray or blue. He couldn’t tell in the dark where the only light was from the moon spilling in between the cracks of her curtains.
Annie lay in the pile of pillows, looking perfect with her hair spilling over the top. So good that he momentarily forgot about the bed altogether. The bed he couldn’t sleep in. The bed that would give him nightmares.
Blister cleared his throat so she’d know he was there. She sat up, frowning.
“Blister? Is everything alright? You need something?”
“Can I come in?”
He heard her swallow all the way over by the door.
Please, she must know I wouldn’t hurt her.
“Sure.”
Slowly, he found the chair near her bed and lowered himself into it, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. She wasn’t afraid of him in the daylight, but maybe this was too much, him being in her room.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, her brow creased.
Yes. Something was very wrong. They were supposed to be together and they weren’t. He was supposed to take her as his, and he wouldn’t. She was supposed to love him until death, but she couldn’t.
Everything was wrong.
“Please, can I just…” He struggled with the question. He didn’t want her to think he was strange. He just needed… something from her. Something that wouldn’t hurt her or change her in any way. Something innocent. “Can I just watch you sleep?”
She smiled so sweetly, her eyes glowing with emotion he didn’t understand while his heart hammered obnoxiously in his chest.
“Sure. But you don’t have to just watch.” She scooted closer to one side of the bed and pulled the covers back. “We can share the bed if you want. There’s plenty of room and I don’t mind. I’m sure it would be much more comfortable than the cellar bench.”
“No.” It came out much harsher than he’d intended. “No,” he said, tempering his tone. “I don’t want that.”
“Oh.”
Her face fell, and he wished he could get back the sweet expression she’d had seconds ago. Damn it, even in this small innocent request, he’d fucked up. This was a mistake.
Blister rose abruptly and stumbled for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait,” she called. “Wait, please!”
She jumped out of bed and her small hand wrapped around his forearm, stopping him in his tracks. “Don’t go. Please.”
He couldn’t make himself look at her. He just wanted to leave. Call his animal and run off the steam. Forget the embarrassment that constantly clawed at him.
Her hand slid down to his, her fingers locking on. He loved her hands. He loved them so much. When she touched him, he felt whole. Worthy. He felt like a man instead of a broken mistake.
“Come on. Come sit. I’ll sleep and you can watch. It’s fine. I promise.”
He let her pull him back to the chair and watched her climb into bed. She pulled the blankets around her. Her face was sad, but she smiled before letting her eyes flutter closed.
Blister swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to calm the flight instinct so he could enjoy this moment with her. This was what he’d wanted since he’d first laid eyes on her at the speedway. It was the only fantasy he’d let himself have of her.
Minutes passed but he knew she wasn’t asleep. Her breathing was normal. He waited longer, but still she wasn’t drifting off like he’d hoped. Why would she, with a monster staring at her?
“I’m making you uncomfortable,” he murmured.
Her eyes shot open. “No. That’s not it. I’m just trying to clear my mind so I can sleep.”
He was quiet.
“I… I like you watching me.”
Her admission made his mouth dry so much he couldn’t swallow. Was… was she telling the truth?
“You do?” he finally managed.
She nodded, but lowered her gaze.
She was lying.
His heart sank.
“You don’t have to do that,” he barely breathed.
“Do what?”
“Lie. No matter what I’ll always prefer the truth from you.”
There was a long pause where she seemed to consider what to say.
“I’m not lying,” she insisted. “I’ve never lied to you. I just don’t know what you want. I offer to let you come closer but then you go farther away. Every time. I don’t know what to do to make you stay. And I really want you to stay.”
He looked at her. Her bottom lip trembled with the confession. Shit.
“You want me to stay?” The words felt odd on his tongue. How could she want that?
“Yes,” she whispered.
Dread slammed him in the chest. “Did I… hurt your feelings earlier?”
She grinned sadly and lowered her eyes. “A little, but it’s okay. Punk says I’m too—”
“It’s not okay. Not at all. I’m very sorry. And you’re not too anything, Annie. You’re perfect.”
She chewed her bottom lip, her gaze still averted. He wanted to reach out and tip her head back so he could see her pretty eyes.
“I think I’m always going to hurt you no matter how hard I try not to,” he rasped. “It’s who I am. I should go.” And stay away this time.
“Please don’t,” she whispered. “You don’t have to.”
He couldn’t move. His mind told him to go. His wolf commanded him to stay. His mate asked him to stay. She was all he cared about. He wanted to make her happy, even if for this tiny second in time.
“Sing to me,” she murmured. “I love hearing you sing, Blister.”
His heart literally quaked hearing the word love and his name come from her mouth in the same sentence.
He could do this. Sing for his mate. She wanted him to and it wouldn’t hurt a thing. Singing was the purest form of expression. He could sing his feelings to her and she wouldn’t know it was anything more than the lyrics of a song. It was safe. The safest way he could think of.
Taking several deep breaths, he forced his muscles to relax.
“Close your eyes.”
She obeyed, turning on her side and tucking her hand under her cheek. He only had to think about it for a moment, and the words he needed came to him.
“Breath comes quickly when my eyes find you. Never knew my heart could open, could feel like this, I never knew. A man torn. Can’t find peace, when you’re it and we aren’t meant to be. So breathe. Breathe slowly. Breathe softly every moment until it’s gone. Breathe until it’s easy. Until you find the one.”
Blister kept going, repeating his song to her until her breathing evened out and her muscles relaxed. When she was asleep, he drew in a deep breath, finally able to relax. He let his eyes slide over every feature until he had them memorized.
Her words pierced the hard shell of his resistance and left him feeling like he was stuck in one of his goddamn dreams.
Did she want him? Did this beautiful woman really want him even though he was a mess? And if the answer was yes, then… why?
He remembered her scent of arousal after she’d fed him cheesecake. Fuck, was this for real? His angel desired him? Or was she just lonely. Maybe anyone would do.
Shit.
He stared at her as a soft snore split the silence between them.
It didn’t matter what her reasons were. Not really. Things were still the same. He was still no good for her. He was still damaged. He still wouldn’t be able to sleep in a bed for her, much less live in a house like a normal person.
He leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. He’d figure it out in the morning. For tonight, he was going to watch his mate and hold her words deep in his heart.
Chapter Nine
You’re perfect, he’d said. Last night it made her stomach curl with excitement. But this morning, his words grated on her nerves.
If she was so dang perfect in his eyes then why was he avoiding her like the plague? She’d made herself very clear last night. Told him exactly what she wanted from him even though it had left her vulnerable.
He’d missed breakfast, and as far as she could tell, he wasn’t coming around for lunch either. If history was any clue, he’d show up just before bedtime, make cryptic statements and confusing gestures and then bolt.
To make matters worse, Ella and Punk were on their way over. They needed to talk to her, they’d said. Well fine. Whatever they had to say came at the perfect time because she needed to talk to them too.
As if she’d conjured them, a quick knock on the back door followed by Punk’s deep voice announced their arrival.
Annie continued furiously shredding cheese on a handheld grater.
“Whoa,” Punk murmured. “She’s in full on cook-the-hell-out-of-life mode. What’s up, Annie Banannie?”
Annie shrugged. “You called. What’s up with you?”
Punk crossed her arms while Ella let out a sharp laugh.
“Huh. That’s an interesting attitude you have going on right now. Someone make you mad? I’m available to kick some ass if you want.”
Annie set the cheese aside. “No. It’s fine.” She faced her friends, determined not to take her troubles out on them. “What did you guys need to talk to me about?”
Punk slid her gaze to Ella, clearly rethinking whatever decision the two of them had come to. Ella returned it with a wide eyed stare.
“Oh, knock it off, you two. Tell me what’s going on.”
Punk shrugged. “Okay, fine. We have something to tell you. Something that might be a little hard to believe, but just… you know, stay calm,
okay.”
Annie rolled her eyes.
“So, you know the dogs, they’re… different,” Ella said. The look on her face was so serious. Like what she was about to say was a matter of life or death. “They’re not quite um, human.”
Annie blinked at her.
“Well, they’re human sometimes. Most of the time,” Ella rushed on, “but they’re also sort of… animalistic. As in they um, um, turn into wolves.”
Punk shifted from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable. “Yeah, but they’re totally safe. You shouldn’t be worried or anything like that. They would never hurt any of us. In fact, they’re very protective.”
Ella nodded so hard, Annie wondered if her head would come off her neck. “Yeah, they’re not like, going to bite you or anything. They’re good guys, Annie. We wanted to tell you sooner but then the storm came and it just…”
“Didn’t seem like the right time,” Punk finished.
“And there’s more,” Ella added. “I…” She looked to Punk and Punk gave an encouraging nod. “I’m like them. I’m a wolf shifter too.”
“She didn’t know until she met Drake. Just like he didn’t know Blister was her uncle.”
Ella nodded. “Yeah, this is all pretty new to me too.”
Finally their words dried up.
Annie looked back and forth between her two friends, minutes passing with the tension. “That’s what you needed to tell me?”
Punk frowned.
“The wolf thing?” Annie cried. “That’s the all important thing that brought you over for a visit. Not to make sure I was okay, or I dunno, see how the repairs are coming? Or hey, help with the clean up?”
Ella’s head snapped back at her tone. “But… we knew the cats were taking care of you. And hasn’t Blister been helping?”
Cats? There were cats? Hammer wielding cats. Sure. Why not?
“Yeah, of course. But what about my actual friends? I’ve needed you guys. I have… things I need to talk about, and you guys are off on your happily-ever-afters like I’m not even here.”
“Annie… I’m so sorry,” Ella murmured, glancing at Punk. “We didn’t know. Shit, I’m sorry.”
“Wait,” Punk said. “The ‘wolf thing’? You already knew?”