Call Me Athena

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Call Me Athena Page 4

by Colby Cedar Smith


  and his amazing

  flying machine,

  the Blériot XI.

  My father and I

  join the crowd

  to watch

  as the daring Frenchman

  turns on the throttle

  and steps

  to the propeller.

  With several huge pulls,

  the airplane begins

  to hum

  like a swarm of hornets.

  I grab my father’s hand,

  frightened by the sound.

  He shouts into my ear,

  Don’t you see, chérie?

  This will help us win the war.

  Commandeur Blériot

  places his goggles

  over his eyes

  and waves to the crowd

  before he mounts

  the open frame

  of the two-seater plane.

  Within moments,

  he speeds straight ahead

  into the fallow field

  and lifts

  into the bright,

  blue sky.

  On the way home

  my father

  places his arm

  around my shoulders.

  I have to go,

  mon petit oiseau.

  I nod

  as tears escape.

  I have been trained to heal people.

  His voice breaks.

  I will try my best

  to make you proud.

  He looks

  over the walls of our city

  to the ocean

  beyond.

  I don’t want to leave you

  and Maman.

  I put my arms

  around his neck

  and he lifts me

  off the ground.

  Tears roll down my cheeks

  onto the shoulder

  of his suit.

  I will try

  to make you proud too,

  Papa.

  My mother dresses me

  in my best dress.

  Black stockings

  and black-buttoned boots.

  A large white ribbon

  tied on the top

  of my auburn curls.

  I look like a present.

  I wish

  she would let me

  sweep my hair up

  on the top of my head.

  Instead,

  she dresses me

  like a toddler.

  We hear

  the whistle

  loud and clear.

  My father points

  through

  the crowd of people

  on the dock

  and says,

  See that

  beautiful boat, chérie?

  It’s going to take me

  all the way

  to Siam.

  That night I dream of water

  I am a selkie.

  Half-girl and half-seal

  who has found

  her white coat

  and can finally return

  to the sea.

  I swim alongside

  my father’s boat,

  jumping

  in the foam waves

  as the ship cuts

  across the dark water.

  I can save him

  if he needs to be saved.

  Up above,

  an airplane looms,

  sputtering

  its hot fumes

  into the clean air.

  I wake

  in sorrow.

  I am just a girl.

  Mary

  Detroit, Michigan

  1933

  Letter #3

  October 12, 1918

  My darling, my love,

  My hands are so cold I can hardly hold a pen.

  I worry you will never get this.

  You will never know how much I loved you.

  Will these pages end up scattered like poppies across a field?

  Perhaps they belong to no one.

  Only God and the wind.

  Your always faithful,

  Loup

  Letter #4

  October 15, 1918

  Every day, I grow more tired.

  Tired of waiting. Tired of the war. Tired of my own loneliness.

  How could you have left me without a word?

  I am without a husband, without a father, without faith.

  Living in a city surrounded by granite walls.

  Did you ever love me, at all?

  Forever yours,

  Petit Oiseau

  I fold the letters, exactly as they were

  return them

  to their hiding place

  a doorway into

  another time,

  another world.

  These notes

  are not meant for me.

  I am intruding,

  spying

  far beyond

  into someone else’s life.

  Marguerite’s footsteps

  on the back steps

  wake me from my dream.

  I emerge from the cellar

  just in time.

  Ready to go to school?

  I want to tell her about the letters.

  The envelopes

  without addresses,

  without stamps.

  Written long ago.

  My mouth stays sealed.

  Mrs. Patterson tells us to be proud

  We live in the City of Transportation.

  Founded on

  Henry Ford’s

  original idea.

  The busy hands of builders

  forge and lathe, work and tend,

  spin and weave, form and transform

  the ideas of men into objects

  for the world. 8

  She stands

  in front of the class.

  Her hands clasped

  under her chin.

  Wonder spreads

  across her face

  as she says,

  We are proud of our city

  and our brothers and fathers

  who have built

  the foundation

  of our modern

  nation.

  Yes. We are proud

  of our brothers and our fathers.

  But I want to ask:

  What about

  our sisters and our mothers?

  Who carry generations

  in their wombs

  who rise and feed us,

  clothe us,

  and tend to us

  who birth each day

  into being?

  She calls me to the front

  of the class.

  Mary, please list

  the ways

  Henry Ford

  and the factories in Detroit

  are helping

  America’s economy.

  My heart flutters

  as I walk

  to the board.

  She hands me

  a piece of chalk.

  It rolls

  out of my hand

  onto the floor.

  I reach down,

  balance on one foot.

  Barely reach

  for the chalk

  and . . . rip.

&nbs
p; Just like

  a molting insect

  that has grown

  too large

  for its shell,

  my dress

  tears

  down my back.

  Everyone in the class

  laughs.

  Especially Evie,

  whose long arms

  are spread

  across her desk.

  A spider poised

  and ready

  to eat me.

  Elena stands up.

  Leads me

  back to the bench

  with Marguerite

  who wraps

  her sweater around me

  in a hug.

  My mother claws through

  her bulging basket

  of fabric scraps.

  Chooses a triangle

  of dark-brown corduroy.

  Stitches it

  into the seam

  of my shredded dress.

  I try it on

  to make sure it fits.

  I am a walking quilt.

  To console me

  she lets me sit on the counter

  while she makes

  the baklava

  for the store.

  She gives me

  the first piece.

  As I bite into it,

  the honey drips

  down my arm.

  I am as happy

  as a bear

  that has stolen

  a honeycomb

  from a hive.

  In the store, we sell:

  fruits and vegetables

  soap for dishes

  soap for laundry

  coffee and tea

  candy

  whole watermelons

  and cold soda pop,

  submerged in a big case

  filled with water and ice

  cans of soup

  loaves of bread

  pickles and eggs, in large barrels

  filled with brine

  meat, which my father carves

  at the wooden counter

  feta, a Greek cheese

  spanakopita, a delicious spinach pie

  moussaka, an eggplant casserole

  baklava, a crispy dessert

  made with nuts and honey

  I call Marguerite Little Mama

  She loves to be in charge

  of the house.

  I’d rather

  work at the store.

  I love the smell

  of the wooden floorboards

  the food resting

  on the counter

  the sweat and perfume

  of the customers.

  Even the money has a smell.

  Mama, do you think we could

  convince father

  to let me work in the store?

  Why would you

  want to work

  in the store?

  I like the store.

  I need your help at home.

  You have Marguerite.

  I need you both.

  Mama, don’t you think

  it would be a good idea

  for me

  to learn the business?

  Why would you want

  to learn something

  that you will never use?

  Learn how to feed your husband.

  Learn how to raise the babies.

  She pats her belly.

  Then she points

  her forefinger

  in my direction.

  Learn how to keep your opinions

  to yourself.

  Mama, I’ve been thinking about Dimitris

  Her ears perk up.

  She lifts her chin

  and her eyebrows.

  Yes?

  I straighten my skirt

  and spine

  to make myself

  seem taller,

  like I’m frightening

  a bear.

  When I marry Dimitris . . .

  Yes?

  That is, if he’ll have me . . .

  Yes.

  Don’t you think

  he would want someone

  who knows something

  about a store?

  The mother bear

  takes two steps back.

  Lots of girls

  can have babies.

  Hopefully, I can.

  Yes.

  The bear stomps the ground

  and snorts.

  Maybe, if I can help

  with Dimitris’s store

  it will make me seem . . .

  useful?

  Yes.

  Yes?

  I stand behind the counter

  place my palms

  on the smooth varnished wood.

  The store is empty

  and quiet.

  I take a deep breath

  and savor my victory.

  When I’m bored

  I wipe each shelf.

  Tally up receipts.

  Record sales.

  Dance with a mop.

  Restock items.

  Make tea.

  Try not

  to eat the candy.

  Draw

  monsters and angels

  on the frosty

  cold cases.

  Look at myself

  in the shiny cabinet.

  Wonder

  if I’m beautiful.

  I also think about

  what we could change

  to bring more customers

  into the store.

  Since, it appears,

  there are not

  very many.

  You know that look

  when the sun

  is horizontal in the sky

  and someone is lit

  from behind?

  You can barely

  see their face

  because they are bursting

  with light.

  And you wish you

  had a camera

  to capture

  all the shadows

  and shine.

  It was like that.

  When I looked

  at the shop door

  there was a man

  who was glowing.

  I had to shield my eyes.

  Light escaping

  every edge

  every surface.

  Streaming

  from his fingertips

  each strand

  of hair.

  I couldn’t

  see his face

  until he stopped

  right in front

  of me

  and smiled.

  Holding

  a polished red apple

  in his hand.

  He looks American

  like he was raised on a farm

  in Nebraska.

  Tall and blond.

  I stare at his blue eyes

  and white teeth.

  Who are you?

  I stammer.

  I’m Billy Smith.

  What are you doing here?

  I’m . . . buying an apple?

  He places a nickel

  into my hand.

  Can I help you

  find anything else?

  He flashes his smile

  one more time and says,

  I think I’ve found everything

  I’m look
ing for.

  He walks backward

  five steps,

  staring at me.

  Turns

  and walks

  out of the door.

  I hear an engine rumble

  and make it to the window

  just in time

  to see the rear bumper

  of his shiny, red

  Ford Cabriolet.

  My heart stops beating

  for five seconds.

  What would it feel like?

  To have a name

  like Smith or Jones?

 

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