Liza sniffed and moved onto his lap. She cupped his face in her hands How could she get through to him once and for all. “I love you, Julian, I fell in love with a man who’s been bruised and battered. We’ve discussed this from the beginning. I knew what I was getting into when I accepted the second date. Why don’t you let me make the decision on how much I can handle. I’m a big girl.”
“Because if you ever decided you couldn’t handle it, it would kill me.” He rested his head against hers.
“Isn’t that the point of love?” She ran her fingers through his hair. “To give your heart to someone and know they have the power to break it to a million pieces, but trust they won’t?”
Julian dropped back on the bed, tugging her down on top of him. “And what scares me the most is I know you never would. You’re nothing like the others.”
*****
May 2nd
Liza lay on her back staring up at the ceiling, Julian’s arm draped across her naked body. She yanked the blanket tighter and still she shivered. The clock on the nightstand read four A.M. Did she do the right thing? Did he say he loved her to get her in bed?
He pressed a kiss to her neck. “You’re thinking too much, sweetheart.”
“What do you mean?”
Julian drew circles over her still flat stomach with his fingers. “I love you. And I mean it when I say it.” He rolled over landing between her thighs brushing light kisses over her face.
Liza shivered as he brought his hands down over her body. It felt as if he was touching her skin, but in reality there was a quarter inch between his hands and her skin. “What was that?”
“Magic.” He stopped his hand and held it over her stomach. The sensation was incredible. Like thousands of little lightning bolts passing from his hand to her body. Her skin flushed and she squirmed needing to feel more. “It’s called a sensual energy transfer.”
“Julian, please.”
“No.” He brought his lips to hers and this time there was a tenderness to his kisses. There was something different about him. Usually, there was an urgency in their lovemaking. He took it slow and made it all about her. It was almost as if the simple act of telling her he loved her had changed him.
He kissed his way down her neck, still moving his hand over her body, making every nerve ending take notice. The double sensations of his lips and the energy from his hand had her writhing with pleasure. He didn’t come close to her sensitive zones.
She tried to grasp for his hand, but he moved it away. Bucking her hips against him, she begged with her body for him to take her. “Please?”
Her eyes closed as he made his way lower with his kisses. Her eyes shot open and she called out when his lips landed on her clit. He sucked gently and her hips bucked involuntarily.
Her body flushed as his tongue did deliriously delicious things to her. Her eyes went wide, her mouth opened, and her hips bucked wildly as her orgasm overtook her.
No sooner was her orgasm over than he was on top of her again. He pressed the length of him against her as he brought his lips to hers. She thought he’d give her time to recover, but then his cock was there, pressing against her opening. “I’ll be gentle.” He slowly pushed his length inside of her.
She moaned at the feeling of his cock filling her so soon after orgasm was incredible. “Faster,” she said and blushed at her candor.
“No.”
Her muscles spasmed around him and she felt him slide a little faster. She watched his eyes as she clenched her muscles. His eyes closed as he fought for control. She clenched again and he moaned.
“You’re not making this easy on me, babe.”
“Slow is incredible, but I want all of you.” She bucked her hips against him and clenching her muscles again.
He slid the rest of the way in. She whimpered as he pulled back, almost out before pressing in. She cried out as her orgasm hit her. “Julian.” His name slid off her lips as she arched against him, her nails digging into his back.
He let out a moan in the throes of his own orgasm.
When it was over he collapsed on the bed beside her. “Woman, I think you milked me dry.”
Liza gasped. “You practically had me with your hand.” She snuggled in next to him. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” He pressed a kiss into her hair.
Liza closed her eyes and fell into a contented sleep.
*****
May 3rd
Liza stepped into her apartment the following evening. She breathed in the heavenly scents of basil, garlic, and fresh baked bread. Funny, she didn’t remember giving anyone a key. “Julian?”
He came out of the kitchen looking sexy as hell, his blue t-shirt covered with a white apron. “Hey, princess.”
She cringed a bit at the endearment. He hadn’t called her that since they got back together. “I thought we determined I wasn’t a princess.”
Julian grinned. “You are.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek and returned to the kitchen.
Liza followed him. She leaned against the wall and folded her arms. “I love you and the fact you’re cooking something that smells wonderful helps, but how did you get into my apartment?”
Julian turned to face her. His lips straight and his gaze intense. “I’m a drug dealer, darling, what did you expect?”
Liza’s jaw dropped. Did he really say that? She blinked twice, mouth open in shock. “I-I, umm—”
Julian laughed. “I made a copy of the key the day of the ultrasound, when I went to get groceries.”
“Asshole.” Liza chuckled under her breath. She wasn’t sure what she thought of his shock factor—he things he said to get a rise out of her.
Julian grinned. “But I’m your asshole.”
She laughed and then a thought crossed her mind, stopping her dead in her tracks. “The key says ‘do not copy’.” She rubbed her forehead, her landlord would have a fit. “How the hell did you manage to get a spare?”
Julian reached out and touched her shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. Mom’s a real estate agent she’s got the connections.”
“Do you know how much trouble you could get me in? I could lose this apartment if the landlord ever found out.” She paced the small spaced of the kitchen.
“He doesn’t know. Everything will be fine.”
She let out a deep breath. She shouldn’t worry about it. As long as the landlord didn’t find out. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
“I decided to come cook you one of Gramps’ Italian dinners.” Julian opened the oven and motioned for her to look inside.
“I think you found a new way to give me an orgasm. That smells incredible.” Liza closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“We’ve got Tuscan style pork tenderloin, with roasted asparagus and potatoes.” He closed the oven. “Fresh baked bread. And I may have something special for dessert.”
“You did all of this?”
Julian leaned against the counter and shrugged. “I like to cook.”
Liza rested her head against his chest and hugged him close. “So what’s your something special for dessert?”
“You.” His arms came around her and he softly kissed her lips. “I have strawberries and whipped cream in the refrigerator.”
“I like the way you think.”
*****
May 4th
It was a little after six in the morning when he returned to the apartment. Drew called sometime after midnight in a rough spot. They’d hung out at the cabin all night. Talking and drinking.
Julian popped an extra Adderall sometime in the middle of the night to stay awake. The combination of amphetamines, caffeine, and alcohol hadn’t been the smartest move on his part. He hadn’t been this keyed up since he snorted cocaine as a teenager.
By the time he made it to Liza’s, his mind was on one thing and one thing only. If he was lucky, he’d catch her in bed or the shower. He looked toward the bedroom. The light was on. He smiled when he heard the wat
er running in the bathroom. Opening the door, he drank in the sight of her naked form through the frosted glass doors. What a way to come home.
“Everything all right?” She opened the door to look out at him.
“Yeah, evidently, Ava’s ex-husband was killed and the FBI was convinced Drew or Ava did it. He needed to vent.” Julian stripped off his shirt and pants. “I hope you’re up for company.” He stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
“Wait! What happened? Did they let Ava go as well? Who killed her ex-husband?”
Julian shrugged. “They let both of them go. They weren’t even in the area when he was killed. As far as who killed him, I have no clue. And neither do the police.”
“So then what did you two do all night?” Liza rinsed her hair.
“Sat and bullshitted.” He shrugged and pressed a kiss to her lips.
She pushed him away. Her eyes narrowed. “How much did you have to drink?”
Great. His ears burned. He knew she’d see the guilt. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about. A glance at her naked body and he was more than ready. “We shared a six pack, Liza. I could drink all six and not even be close to drunk.”
“You shouldn’t be drinking at all.” She crossed her arms, pushing up her breasts as she did.
Julian moaned. God, he wanted her. ”I think I can handle a couple beers, Liza.” He thrust her against the wall, his lips on her neck, his hands sliding over her body.
“I have to leave for work in half an hour.” She brought her hands to his chest and turned her head away from him.
“You’re just picking up a kid, right?” He slipped his knee between her legs.
“Yeah, but I need to be there on time. I have to get her there for the visitation by eight.”
His traced his fingers down her side and pressed his hips against her.
“They’ll have to wait.” He smothered any protest she might make with his lips. Ice cold water hit his side and he jumped, pressing his hand against the wall so he didn’t fall. “Whoa!”
Liza moved out of his arms and stepped out of the tub. “Take a cold shower. I need to go.”
Julian shut off the shower and wiped the water off his face. “Wait, what?”
She turned to look at him, wrapping a towel around her body. “I love you, but last time I checked, I was the one who made my decisions.”
“I wasn’t—”
She cut him off. “You were. It’s not the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” She walked out of the bathroom.
“Liza.” He followed her. “I had a long night, I was just looking for—”
“Release right?” She pulled a pair of purple panties with pink lace on the sides out of her drawer. Sliding them on under her towel, she let it fall to the ground. She yanked a matching strapless bra from the drawer.
He couldn’t help but stare at her chest as she clasped the bra.
Liza snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Julian.”
“What?” He blinked, trying to bring his attention to what she was saying. He wanted her.
“Did you hear what I said?” She folded her arms across her chest, pushing her breasts up and enhancing her cleavage even more.
He groaned and reached for her.
She took a step back and turned to her closet.
“Evidently not.” She slithered her way into her dark wash blue jeans. “I said, did you consider me in the equation when you wanted release?”
“Well I had every intention of making sure you enjoyed it – have I ever not?”
“You don’t get it.” She threw her towel at him and donned a green spaghetti strapped tank top. She bent over and fluffed her breasts into place in her shirt. She stood, flipping her hair out of the way.
Her tits looked great in that shirt.
Julian wrapped the towel around his waist, not that it did any good, he could hang the towel off his cock. “You’re wearing something over that.”
“Excuse me?”
“Over the tank top. You will wear something over that.”
“Why?” She folded her arms across her chest again.
“You’re with me, Liza no one else—”
“Oh brother.” She grabbed a yellow sweater from her closet. “The only reason I’m bringing this is because I was going to wear it anyway. You and I are going to have some serious problems if you can’t remember I’m my own person.”+
“Liza, I—”
“Nope, I don’t want to hear about your two previous ex-wives. I’m not them.” Liza patted him on the shoulder as she walked by. “Have a good day. I’ll see you tonight.” She grabbed her purse and was out of the apartment before he could say anything else.
*****
Julian ended up at his parent’s house. He stopped to drop off a letter for his mother, only she wasn’t home.
His dad sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper.
“Where’s Mom?” Julian paced the floor. He was still keyed up. He hadn’t taken his morning Adderall out of his pills, so he’d gotten a second dose a little sooner than he needed.
“She had a meeting for one of her charity things.” Everett folded his paper, put it on the table, and rested his hands on it.
Julian shifted from foot to foot, he couldn’t stop moving as he tried to decide what to do next.
Everett pushed out the chair across from him with his foot. “Have a seat. And before we go any further, what are you on?” His eyes narrowed and Julian could tell he was thinking the worst.
“I overlapped my Adderall a little too close together.” He sat down in the chair, his legs bouncing.
“How close together?” His father leaned forward glancing at the time. “You should be taking your second dose around now.”
“I may have taken one in the middle of the night. Drew had a rough night—”
Everett held up his hand. “Let me guess, there was alcohol involved as well?”
“Dad, we split a six pack. That's it. Period. Six fucking beers. Why the hell is everybody on my fucking case today? Jesus! I’m thirty-three years old. I think I can make my own decisions.” Julian shook his head. It was a bad idea to come here. He should have left when he found out his mother wasn’t home.
“You’re an alcoholic and a recovering drug addict. Which part of a six pack of beer and extra prescription pills sounds like a good idea to you?” Everett rested his hands on the table. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to end up sitting next to your hospital bed like I did when you were sixteen?”
“Dad, I’m not sixteen and I’m not snorting coke. I can leave if you don’t want to listen.” Julian’s knees bounced.
Everett let out a deep breath. “What happened?”
“I think I blew it with Liza again this morning.” He shook his head. Why was he telling his dad about this? Because he knew dad would understand.
“Oh yeah? What’d you do now?” Everett folded his arms, and rested them on the table.
Julian was certain he was looking forward to a good story. He related the scene from that morning. “I don’t know what I did. She said if I didn’t remember she was her own person we were going to have problems.”
“Well of course you are.” Everett let out a sigh. “Son, the only thing trying to control a woman is going to do is get you slapped.”
“I don’t want to control her.” Julian clenched his fists. Heaven forbid his father ever understood a fucking thing he said.
“You don’t? Because it sounds that way to me. You decided she could be late for work without taking her thoughts into consideration. You questioned the clothes she wore. She’s not there to be your puppet, Julian. She’s there because she loves you.”
Realization he’d been a chauvinistic pig hit him like a hammer to the head. “Damn.” He raked his hands through his hair, folding them at the back of his neck. “I don’t want her to be my puppet, Dad. I just thought . . . the shirt thing was a little disrespectful. She’s mine.”
“And if you keep that attitude up, she won’t be for long,” Everett warned. “You mother and I went through a phase where I did the same thing to her. It lasted about a week. And at the end of that week, she blew up. Reminded me she was still her own person and if she didn’t want to be with me, she wouldn’t be there. If I was going to continue to question her choices I could – well shove my opinions where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Julian chuckled. “Sounds like, Mom.”
“Exactly, and it sounds like Liza too. Your mom and I were married and had ten kids at the time. We were a little more committed than you and Liza. You may want to watch what you say, before she decides to leave your ass.”
Julian leaned back in the chair, taking everything in his father had told him. “What do I need to do?”
“Give her the respect she deserves, not only as the mother of your child, but as a human being. She can make her own decisions, Julian, she doesn’t need you to make them for her.”
“I guess I can see your point.”
“You guess?” Everett chuckled. “Shit, I remember a sixteen year old kid, running away from home, because he tried to demand respect he hadn’t earned. You and I fought like cats and dogs from the time you and Drew came home. You were so used to protecting yourself you couldn’t stand the thought of someone doing it for you.”
“We’ve been over this a hundred times.” Julian rolled his eyes.
“And you still don’t get it. If you did, you wouldn’t be treating Liza the way you are now. You and I fought because you couldn’t respect the rules I set to protect you.” Everett jabbed a finger into the table.
“Dad—”
“No, do you know how much it scared the shit out of me to get a call from the hospital saying my sixteen year old son was in there for a drug overdose?” Everett stood and began pacing the floor.
“Dad—”
Everett cut him off again. “And here you are, almost eighteen years later making the same stupid decisions you made then. You’re pushing your luck not following the doctor’s recommendations on your prescriptions and mixing them with alcohol.”
If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) Page 24