by P. Jameson
He stuffed the bottle into the small wicker picnic basket he’d borrowed from Layna just as Nastia came into the great room from the hallway that was now well lit. She wasn’t watching where she was going. Instead, her eyes were locked on the pages of a book, brow furrowed. Newt the skink sat patiently on her shoulder, eyes on the book as well. As if he was a human himself. Thames imagined the lizard was reading along too and smirked.
“Bear,” she murmured, eyes still on the book. “I felt something.” She closed it when she reached him, setting it on the portable island countertop, and her gaze lifted to his. “Sadness.”
Thames looked away. Attentive little mate.
“Why did I feel sadness through our bond?” Swiping her finger along the counter until she reached the place where his palm was braced on the top, she traced along his hand like she was copying it to paper. “Are you sad?” she asked quietly.
“Naw.” He hooked his arm behind her neck and pulled her against his chest while Newt skittered to the counter to avoid getting swatted. “How can I be sad when you’ve already made me so happy?”
Nastia’s arms wrapped around his waist and he kissed her hair, breathing in that wonderful cherry scent that was now mixed with the mark of his bear. It was the best damn smell in the world.
Was it possible to be this happy and achingly sad at the same time? Maybe so.
“I have a surprise for you,” she whispered.
Thames pulled back to look at her. “A surprise? What kind of surprise?”
She tried to stifle her grin, but then her cheeks turned heavy pink with a blush and she gave up, smiling so big her teeth showed. “It’s not time yet.”
He couldn’t help himself. He smiled too. It was contagious. Thumbing the corner of her mouth he murmured, “I don’t know if I can wait. I’m not a very patient man.”
She smacked his chest playfully. “Spshh. Of course you are. Patience is your middle name. You’re practically a saint, you know.”
“Oh, really?”
Nastia nodded.
“Would a saint do this?”
Before she knew what was happening, he’d twisted her so her back was to his front and had one hand down the top of her dress, caressing her breast while the other cupped her pussy through the fabric of her skirt. His mouth dropped to her ear, licking along the shell and making her shiver. Her nipple pebbled against his rough palm, giving him the pleasure of knowing he could at least get this right. He could make his mate feel good, and that was pretty close to the best thing ever.
“Do these hands feel like the hands of a patient man?” he rumbled, squeezing both hard enough to get a moan from her.
Her breath was panty and she had to clear her throat before speaking. “Yep. But my body feels like it belongs to a not-so-patient woman. So maybe you shouldn’t play with it unless you’re ready to take me to bed.”
Oh, his mate had a sassy mouth.
He growled low, inhaling the scent coming off her skin. She was aroused. He pushed his growing erection into her backside, but he wouldn’t take it farther. Not now, because it would ruin his plans.
Thames breathed her scent once more and then dropped a quick kiss to her neck before letting her go. “Not yet, sweet mate. See, I have a surprise for you too.”
She twisted around to face him, her eyes glittering. “A surprise? Another one?”
He gave her a nod.
“But you already gave me so much. The rocks, the kitchen, the entire cave really. I can’t catch up. At this rate, we’ll never be even.”
Thames smirked. “Good.”
Her lips curved up as she shook her head, exasperated. “Okay, Mr. Patient. What’s the surprise?”
Without answering, he grabbed the basket off the counter and took her hand, pulling her toward the cave doors.
“W-Where are we going?”
“I’m taking you out.”
“Out?”
“On a picnic.”
“Outside though?”
“It’s not a real picnic if it’s inside is it?”
“Well, sure. It could be. I don’t think the location determines the validity of the picnic. But… I can’t go outside,” she said, screeching to a stop at the open door.
Thames smiled back at her. “Tonight you can. Adira lifted the spell locking you in here.”
Nastia’s eyes went wide. “Is that a good idea?”
“I’ll be with you the entire time. I won’t let you hurt anybody. Besides, the darkness hasn’t gotten any worse has it?”
“No.” But her voice wasn’t sure.
Watch her. Theo’s warning pecked at Thames’s mind.
And he would. He’d watch her for as long as she was his. Which was forever if the mark on her chest was any indication.
“I’ve got you, Nastia. I won’t let anything bad happen tonight.”
He stepped through the door and turned to hold his hand out for her to follow. Hesitantly, she stared at it, and he could see the worry in her eyes. The darkness had a hold on her for sure. Had her prisoner to her fear. And he wished he could promise her the fear was in vain, but he couldn’t.
Only her Anchor could do that.
“Come on, little witch. Take my hand and let’s go on a pic-a-nic. Bears like picnic baskets, you know. Ever watch Yogi? Hey, heyyy, Boo-boo,” he said in his best Yogi Bear impression.
A laugh burst from her lips, and all the tension around her eyes eased.
Better, his bear gruffed.
“No,” she said, taking his hand and stepping through. “But if I promise to look it up on YouTube, will you promise to never do that again?”
He looped an arm around her shoulders as they came out into the woods. “Deal, mate. Deal.”
***
Nastia lay on the plaid blanket, her head at an angle touching Thames’s. The wind whipped through the trees above them causing the newly sprouted leaves to flutter in the setting sun. Like they were bidding the light goodnight.
And welcoming the darkness’s rule.
She squeezed her eyes closed. She didn’t want to think about the darkness or the weird visions she’d been having or the voices she heard when she was alone in the cave. She reached into her pocket to finger the single rock there. As long as she kept the purple heart stone her sisters gave her close, all those things stayed away. Perhaps they’d enchanted it.
She rolled over onto her side so she could watch Thames. Her mate was better than the sun. Life with him was simple. Logical. And so, so sweet.
Sure, it had only been a couple weeks, but every morning she awoke with a smile. She would open her eyes to find him watching her, his expression so adoring it made her stomach twist with giddiness.
Reaching forward, she let her fingers connect with his scruff dusted cheek. Mine.
He’d removed his shirt to soak in the sun and his smooth skin was bronzing from the rays. Nastia ran her fingers down his thick neck and over his shoulder, brushing her lips there briefly, eliciting a quiet rumble from his bear. Moving quickly, he grabbed her hand, bringing it to his mouth for a kiss.
“Tell me your hopes and dreams,” Nastia murmured.
The perfect calm of the evening seemed like the right place to ask. He’d given her bits and pieces of his history. His work as a bouncer. The falcon shifter he considered his father. His life before, when he still belonged to a clan. But she was always hungry for more.
“My hopes and dreams, huh?” He squeezed her hand before pressing her open palm to his chest just over his heart.
“Yeah. What you’ve always hoped to have one day. Or things you want to accomplish. You know… hopes and dreams. I want to know them all.”
He was quiet for a while before he answered. “The thing I always wanted most, I have,” he said, his gaze lazily meeting hers. “My female, marked and claimed and happy. Well, that last part is hard but I’m still trying.”
Nastia’s heart squeezed with his words, and she propped up on one elbow to stare down at him.
“What do you mean about the last part? I’m happier than I’ve been in a long while. Our time in the cave has been amaz—”
Thames put his fingers to her lips. “Don’t. Don’t pretend things are okay with you. I know we’re still on borrowed time. I know the equinox is getting closer and closer. I know…” He dropped his hand, looking away to say the rest. “I know I’m not your Anchor.”
Sadness so solid and palpable could be felt through their bond. She pressed her hand against the sudden sharp sensation in her chest. He wanted to be her savior, wanted it bad. And she did too, but wanting it wasn’t going to make it reality. She had to fight this battle against the darkness some other way.
Thames sat up, hooking his arms over his knees and dropping his head to his hands looking more miserable than she’d ever seen him. Nastia followed him up, desperately grasping for something to say to make it better.
“I didn’t want this to come up right now. I just wanted to show you a nice time tonight.” His tone was frustrated. “Wanted to get you out of that damn cave and see you smile some more.”
“But I love our cave.” Her voice was so quiet she didn’t know if he heard her. “I love you.”
He turned his head to look at her, his mouth lifting in a sad smile. “God, I love hearing that from you, little witch. But it isn’t enough to save you, is it? Not enough to make me your Anchor.”
There was no way to deny what he was saying, no matter how much she wanted to. She couldn’t love him hard enough to save herself. That just wasn’t the way it worked. Not for her.
Thames shook his head, turning to stare at the setting sun.
“Maybe there’s nothing that can save me anymore,” she blurted. It was time to stop ignoring Adira’s suggestion. “I used dark magic to kill someone. Maybe you aren’t my Anchor because my Anchor doesn’t exist anymore. Because it’s too late for me. Adira thinks an Anchor can only hold us to the light if we haven’t accepted darkness yet.” Nastia swallowed hard, determined to get the rest out. “And I think she’s right. I accepted darkness the night I saved your bear. That means there’s no way to anchor me to light magic.”
Thames stiffened, frowning over at her. His eyes were nearly glowing with how near he was to turning. His irises flickered between steely sapphire and the deep brown of his grizzly.
“No,” he said, his voice hard. “We just have to keep looking. We’ll find something to keep you safe.”
“How, bear? How can we find something that doesn’t exist?”
His frown furrowed deeper, making his jaw look hard as flint. “I’m not losing you,” he growled. “If we can’t anchor you, then we’ll run away. Go far from your sisters so you can’t hurt them. Hide out in fucking Iceland if we have to. I don’t care. I’ve prepared for this. I’m not giving up.”
“Prepared?”
Jaw set, he looked at his hands where they hung over his knees.
“Thames?”
“The Mother Bear. She gives a mating prophecy for every male when they enter adulthood. It’s our custom. But our Mother Bear was especially cruel. She cursed both me and Theo.”
Nastia shook with anger and sadness. The way her bear’s voice went dark talking about his past made her hurt inside.
“Why would she do that?”
Thames shrugged, except it was anything but casual. A stiff jerk of his shoulders. “We were Ursa Gemini. Twins. Rare for our kind. Celebrated, until she declared us to be Ursa Inferior. Outcasts. The lowest of the clan. Simply for being born. She even had our parents killed for producing unworthy offspring. Look, I told you, those weren’t my best days. I don’t know why she hated us, and I never will. All I know is she cursed us with her readings,” he rushed out.
Her bear didn’t like talking about it, and she understood. What a horrible way to be brought into the world. Born into hate that had no basis for existing. Forced to grow up as orphans.
Nastia had no parents, but she was well cared for by the tutors. She’d had her sisters to laugh and play with, as well as the other Sorcera-in-training. She’d never felt the pain of loneliness she could imagine Thames did.
“What was her prophecy for you?”
He eyed her. But if he was debating whether or not to tell her, it must be bad.
Thames blew out a heavy breath and let the words fly. “That my future mate would be filled with evil. That she’d have no love in her heart, and especially none for me.”
Filled with evil. Filled with darkness. The Mother Bear had known all along that there was no hope of Nastia keeping her light.
“That’s why you have the chapel,” she murmured, making sense of things. Thames had left the cave daily to help Gash with security for a few hours and pray to his god in the chapel. “Did… did you know all along there was no hope for me?”
If so, why, why, did he attach himself to her? Why anchor to a sinking ship unless you wanted to drown too?
“No, baby,” he choked out, reaching for her. She let him draw her close, his scent and the feel of his skin beneath her cheek soothing her. “I’m the one who still has hope, remember? It’s you who wants to give up. But I’m not going to let you, Nastia. Hear me? This is never going to be over because I’m not letting you go. Mated and marked means forever. I told you that the first night.”
Forever.
The aching in her mating bond eased. They were forever, her and Thames. No matter what. Whether she turned dark, whether they found another way. She would always be his.
And he… he was hers. Maybe not her Anchor. Maybe not her savior. But he was her bear. The one who made her happy. Who loved her smile. Who’d fight tooth and claw for her and their future.
He was better than an Anchor. He was Thames.
“I’m not giving up,” she mumbled against his chest.
“Damn straight.”
She lifted her head to find his determined eyes and decided the Mother Bear’s prophecy could go to hell. Who was she to poison their future? If Nastia was going to turn dark, it would be because of her own actions, and not because some jealous shifter leader had spoken ugly words over her mate.
But running away with Thames wasn’t the answer either. Because if she became a Magei, she wouldn’t be dangerous to only her sisters. She’d be a danger to everybody. The urge to join a dark coven would become her obsession. The rock counting would be nothing compared to it. Once she caved, she’d work the darkness like it was her own personal magic wand, stopping at nothing to get whatever she wanted. And if Thames got in her way, she might do unspeakable things to get around him.
The mere thought strangled her with fear. She could never hurt him. No matter what, she had to make sure of that.
Suddenly, Adira’s idea didn’t seem so frightening. Not if it meant keeping everyone she loved safe.
“There… there might be a way to keep the darkness at bay.” Nastia hesitated. Saying it out loud would make it real. “Adira and Mirena are working on a spell to turn me into something else.”
Frown lines framed his mouth. “Something else? Like what?”
“Something that has the potential to be good and bad. Not one or the other. Something that doesn’t use magic. Can’t use magic. And isn’t bound by its rules.”
“A commoner?”
“No, not exactly. Not a living one anyway.”
Thames canted his head. “I don’t understand. And frankly, I don’t like the idea of you being turned into anything else.”
Well, they were running out of options. Unless there was something left to be discovered in the tomes Mirena and Theron had gone to retrieve from the Sorceras’ cabin, this was their only option.
But it didn’t make it any easier to say out loud.
“An undead, Thames. They can turn me undead, and then the darkness, the Magei, wouldn’t come for me anymore. I wouldn’t be of any use to them because I wouldn’t have magic. Light or dark. I’d just be… me, without any abilities.”
“But… undead? You’d die
?”
“The only way to prevent the exchange of power within me is to completely cut ties with the mystics that source my magic. Become something… other.”
Thames’s eyes flickered again, brown to blue. “You’d die,” he said, his voice hard.
Nastia nodded. “And then rise again. I’d drink living blood for life. Yours perhaps. Or from a bag like on those television shows.”
“A vampire? They don’t exist,” he argued.
“They would if my sisters’ spell was successful. I’d be the first. And hopefully the only.”
He shook his head. “What if it doesn’t work? How can we be sure it’s even possible? What if the spell fails?”
Then she’d die and remain dead. It was a chance they might have to take.
Nastia curved her hand around Thames’s cheek and his eyes went stormy with realization.
“No,” he said. “We aren’t doing this. It’s too dangerous.”
“For who? Me? I’m already in danger. And it could save the people I love. Thames…” She reached deep down for the strength she’d come to rely on throughout her life. She pushed it through their mating bond hoping he’d feel it and understand she needed her family to be safe. The coven, the clan, and most importantly, him. “It’s worth the risk.”
It was the logical choice. The possible benefits outweighed the stakes.
Tension loaded seconds eked by before he leaned forward with a growl and kissed her lips hard.
“I don’t like it,” he warned.
“I know. But we don’t have to decide yet. There’s still time. Adira and Mirena, Mason and the others, they’re still researching. And I am too. If there’s another way, we’ll find it.”
“Damn it, Nastia. I don’t like it.”
She pressed her forehead to his. “You won’t like it if I turn Magei either. Won’t like who I become. Trust me.”
“I’ll love you no matter what you are. You’re mine.”
She breathed out a heavy sigh, relieved to hear that from him. “Then you’ll love me as an undead too, if that’s what it comes to.”
Thames squeezed her tight, his hand cradling the back of her head. “I’ll always love you. But it won’t come to that.”