by Bella Jewel
I try to keep it together, but the second I get into his truck, tears roll down my cheeks.
“Hey,” he says, starting it and pulling out. “Don’t let it get to you. In his own weird way, he’s protecting you.”
“I don’t need any more protecting,” I whisper. “I just need the truth.”
He smiles weakly. “It’ll come. Just give it time.”
We drive in silence for the rest of the trip home. When we arrive, Sheldon walks me to the door and makes sure I get in okay. I give him a mumbled goodbye, then lock the door.
I walk into my empty house.
And for the first time, I feel so damned alone in it.
~*~*~*~
“Yeah, she called me,” I say to my mom on the phone that night as I curl onto my couch watching some sappy romance movie.
“That woman is a nuisance,” Mom snaps. “Honestly, she was always a problem.”
“I know, Mom. She has nothing to go on, so let her try her hardest.”
“It’s not right, regardless. You and Gerard could have gone through this properly, but instead she’s shoved her nose in and caused problems.”
I sigh. “Gerard is a big boy. He’s choosing to let her do that.”
She hums. “I guess you’re right.”
“Listen, I’m going to head to bed. I’m exhausted.”
“How is that handsome man?”
I go silent.
“Lucy?”
“He’s, ah, good.”
“You’re lying. Your mother knows when you’re lying.”
I smile, even through my sadness. “I know you do. I’ll talk to you about it another time, okay? I don’t want to tonight.”
“Okay, love.”
“Hey, Mom?”
“Mmmm?”
“If you knew a young person was in danger, and they weren’t able to help themselves, would you help them or leave it up to other people?”
She considers that for a long moment. “I’d help them because I’m soft, and I don’t like the idea of a child or young person being in a situation they can’t choose.”
“Even if it’s dangerous and you’re interfering with something you’ve been told not to?”
“That depends on who told me and what kind of danger. You’re not getting yourself into any danger, are you Lucy?”
“No, not at all. It’s just . . . a question.”
“Well, I hope you keep safe and don’t step on any toes, love. Leave that man to do his job.”
“I will.”
“I know my daughter . . .”
I laugh softly. “I’ll leave him to it, Mom.”
“Okay. Good night, love.”
“Night, Mom.”
I hang up and lean back in the chair, thinking about Hayley and all the other girls in that place. I need to leave this to Heath, I know I do, but the idea of them being there alone bothers me. I hate knowing that they have no way out, but mostly I hate knowing I have to sit here and do nothing while he does whatever he’s doing to shut down that awful group.
He doesn’t trust me.
I hate that.
A knock sounds out at my door and I sigh, standing and walking over. It’s probably Heath. I’m not sure if I’m ready to face him, but I decide I probably won’t get much choice. I swing the door open and see Gerard standing there, his face red, his eyes glassy. Is he . . . crying?
“Did you ever love me?”
My heart sinks. “Gerard, what are you doing here?”
“Answer me!” he yells. “Did you ever love me?”
“Of course I did,” I cry. “God, of course I did. You were the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“Then what happened?”
“An attack that changed my life, and you didn’t stand beside me.”
“I tried,” he croaks, running a hand through his hair. “I tried.”
My heart aches for him. “I know you did, but you didn’t give me your belief when I needed it. You let me down.”
He shakes his head and looks up to the sky before turning his eyes back to me. “I didn’t know how to handle it. Everything between us had always been so easy, so free, so simple. I’ve never been able to handle too much emotion and when you started sinking, I saw you differently. I just . . . didn’t want to face it.”
That makes my heart ache, but I’m glad I found out now instead of ten years down the track that my husband was an emotional cripple.
“I deserved you to try,” I whisper.
“I know, Lucy, and I’m sorry. I put my job first. My feelings. My wants. I didn’t do right by you, and now you’re seeing someone else and I hate it. I fucking hate it.”
I flinch.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Gerard.”
“Say you’ll take me back, we can give it another go, we can try. We can do something . . . anything . . .”
I hate that I have to turn him down, but I can never take him back. Not now. It would never be an honest love again. “That’s not going to happen; you know it can’t. There are going to be so many more hard times, and if you can’t deal with them . . .”
“I’ll get help, work harder . . .”
“Gerard,” I say softly. “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
“It’s barely been two months!” he yells. “That’s a lie.”
“It’s not.”
Because I’ve fallen in love with someone else.
“Lucy, please.” He steps forward, cupping my face. “Please.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, because it does hurt to see him like this. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“No,” he croaks, pulling me closer and slamming his lips against mine.
I let him, for a few seconds. A little for him. A little for me. I know it’s time to let him go, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t causing pain. He was a huge part of my life, and I truly had no plans on giving him up. I guess it’s a goodbye kiss. A final one. So I let him, just for one second. I let him kiss me.
“Gerard,” I whisper, pulling back. “It’s time to let go.”
I glance past him and see Heath standing on my front path, staring up at me. My heart plummets into my stomach. I pull away from Gerard and step around him. “Wait!”
Heath’s already striding into the darkness.
“Heath!”
“What?” Gerard says, spinning around and staring at the man disappearing.
“Stop,” I cry rushing down the front steps.
By the time I reach the road, he’s gone into the shadows as if he were never there.
“Lucy, there’s nobody out here.”
Gerard didn’t see him.
“I have to go,” I yell, turning and rushing into the house and grabbing my keys. I don’t care that I’m in my pajamas—I just need to find him.
I get into my car without looking back at Gerard.
Dammit. I’m such an idiot.
CHAPTER 20
“Please let me in,” I say to Tank, who stands at the door, glaring at me. I can hear music playing behind him. They’re obviously having a party, but I know Heath is here because I saw his truck out front. I looked around town for him a while before coming out here, figuring he’d returned home. I was right.
“No.”
“Let me in,” I plead.
“No.”
I lose it. “Let me the fuck in or I’ll smash something.”
He blinks, but then his face grows hard again. “Go home, girl.”
“Fine, have it your way.” I storm around to the closest window and pick up the biggest rock I can find.
“Jesus,” Tank growls. “You’re fucking crazy.”
I raise it up. “I’ll throw it if you don’t let me see him.”
“He doesn’t want to see you.”
“I don’t care.”
Sighing, he steps aside. “Whatever. I couldn’t give a fuck what you two do.”
I drop the rock and with a triumphant smile, storm past him and into the war
ehouse. There are a few people around, some playing pool, others sitting on the couch, a few standing about drinking. I don’t know who they are; I don’t care. I walk in and look around, spying Heath on the sofa with a pretty blonde sitting next to him, her head thrown back with laughter.
Oh. Hell. No.
I storm over and stop in front of him. He flinches when he notices me, but keeps calm enough that it’s hardly noticeable. “Can we talk?” I say, letting my eyes run over the gorgeous blonde sitting way too close to him.
“I’m busy,” he mutters.
“Fine, then I’ll say it in front of everyone. It wasn’t what it looked like.” All chatter in the room quickly stops and the room goes quiet.
His face hardens. “Go back to your husband. I’m busy.”
I jerk. “Fuck you,” I hiss, and his eyes grow wild with rage.
“Pardon?”
“You heard me. I said fuck you. I’ve played this your way; I’ve done what you asked. I lost every-fucking-thing. Yes, he kissed me. Yes, I let him, but if you stopped to find out why, you’d know it was because I was letting him go.”
He says nothing.
“I was letting him go because I’ve finally accepted that kind of life is no longer something I want.”
“Take your excuses somewhere else,” he mutters.
“No,” I scream. “No, I will not. I’m taking them right here, and you’re going to hear me out.”
“Lucy,” he growls. “Leave.”
“Make me,” I hiss.
Heath stands, shoving the blonde away. He gets in my face and I hold my own, even though I probably look like a child going up against him.
“I don’t want you here. Go home and move on with your life.”
I raise my hands and shove his chest. “Fuck you, Heath.”
“Go home.”
“Oh my god,” I screech, shoving him harder. “You’re such a jerk. I was saying goodbye, I was letting him go. You want to know why I was doing that?”
“No,” he barks.
“Because I’m in love with you, you fucking dick.”
The entire room stops, dead silent. Including him.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice quieter now. “That’s right. I’m in love with you, and I was closing a door tonight. I was letting him go kindly because regardless of your insane jealously, I loved him once and he deserved that respect. Now, I’m going to leave because I want to punch you in the face so badly my palm is twitching.”
Someone barks a laugh.
I turn.
Heath takes a step and before I know what’s happening, I’m being hauled up and thrown over his shoulder. I squeal as he slaps my ass so hard pain radiates through me. “Don’t ever speak to me like that again,” he growls, storming towards his room. Then he slaps me again.
“Ouch!” I snap. “Stop it.”
“I’m not done.”
He gets into his room and slams the door shut, locking it. A minute later, the music starts up again. Heath takes two big strides towards his bed and tosses me down. I land with a bounce on my back, looking up at him.
“Clothes off.”
I blink, then snap, “Bite me.”
He takes a step closer, his face full of threat and very real promise. “Don’t tempt me.”
“I’m not tempting you. We’re not having sex, remember?”
“That’s off the cards now.”
I open my mouth and gape. “It is not!”
“Baby, it is. You just told me you loved me.”
“Yeah, well,” I scoff, putting a foot to his chest as he moves closer. “I lied.”
He grins.
I roll my eyes.
“We’re doing this, and it’s going to be hard and deep because I’m fucking pissed off.”
“So am I,” I retort. “More than you.”
His grin turns wolfish. God.
“I don’t know how that can be,” he says, grabbing hold of my pajama bottoms and jerking them down. “You were kissing another man.”
“Excuse me, that man was my husband, and I was doing a good thing,” I retort, kicking, but his hand curls around my ankle and holds me firmly in place.
“Then you show up here yelling at me,” he murmurs, tossing my pants and reaching for my panties.
“You deserved that,” I say, squirming.
“Then,” he hisses, leaning over and jerking my panties off. “You come into my warehouse in your cute-as-shit jammies.”
“Well, I didn’t have time to change.”
He exposes me with a flick of my panties and I’m bare before him, nervous as hell. He stares down at my sex and growls low in his throat before taking my legs and throwing them over his shoulders.
“I’m going to make you come until you beg me to stop, as punishment.”
“Whatever,” I say, but my voice is breathy.
He grins and drops to his knees, then he’s between my legs, his tongue lapping at my pussy without hesitation. I bite my bottom lip to keep from crying out, because that’s what he wants. I bite down so hard sharp pain radiates through my mouth, but I don’t moan. He licks with ferocity, flicking my clit and then moving down and diving deep inside me.
Don’t squirm.
Oh god, it feels amazing.
“Playing stubborn, baby?” he murmurs against my flesh. “I guess I’d better up my game.”
He finds my clit again and sucks deeper at the same time as he slides his finger inside my sex, curling it upwards and finding that spot. A little gasp escapes my lips and I quickly clamp them closed, but not before I hear his triumphant little hum as he devours my pussy. Why does he have to be so good at this?
He fucks me with his hand and eats me until I can’t hold it back any longer. I try, really I do, but the pleasure is too much. A moan escapes and I come, hard. My entire body shakes as ripples of pleasure radiate through my body. Heath moves quickly after that, jerking his jeans down and bringing my ass to the edge of the bed.
Then he’s inside me, fucking me with ferocity. His dick is so big, stretching my body as it fills me. He knows how to work it, he knows how to angle his hips—he just knows how to make me feel so damned incredible. I gasp out his name, not even trying to hold back anymore. He’s angrily fucking, and it’s hot. His entire body is wound up tight, his muscles bulging, veins popping out from his skin. He is so damn sexy. It takes my breath away.
“Harder,” I gasp.
He slows down.
“Fuck, Heath, harder!” I cry, squirming.
“That would make it too easy for you,” he pants.
“Ass.”
He slows down, dragging his cock in and out at an agonizing pace. I push up on my elbows and try to take hold of something, anything, to get him to move faster, but he’s standing and I can’t reach him. I glance down at his dick sliding in and out of me, glistening with my arousal. God dammit, that’s hot. I gasp and drop back down. Even at this slow pace my orgasm is building.
Just before it reaches me, he pulls out.
“Heath,” I rasp, my body burning as my high slips away.
“Roll over.”
“But . . .”
“I’ll decide when you come. Now roll over,” he orders, his cock jutting up against his belly.
I meet his eyes. “No.”
He grins and reaches down, taking me and flipping me over, pressing a hand to the middle of my back to hold me in place. “I think you like defying me,” he growls, as he slides his cock into me again. “Because I think you like how it feels when I take charge.”
He’s right. I do.
I curl my fingers into the bedspread and arch as he fucks me, hard and deep. I try not to let him know I’m nearly ready to come, but he knows—he knows even before my body starts winding up tight. He pulls out, panting.
“God dammit,” I gasp. “Stop it.”
“Tell me you’re sorry.”
“Fuck you, Heath.”
“Do it, baby.”
Damn him. “I�
��m sorry, now keep going.”
“Mean it.” He leans down, swiping my hair from my neck and breathing against my ear.
“I’m sorry,” I say, turning my face so I can meet his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
His eyes flash. He smacks a quick kiss to my lips.
Then he fucks me until I come.
~*~*~*~
ONE WEEK LATER
It’s been a quiet week.
Heath has been busy investigating, and I’ve been busy working, as well as dealing with lawyers. I’ve been attending my book club meetings and have met some lovely people, which has helped to pass the time. Gerard is still insisting on having someone look into our marriage to make sure I wasn’t having an affair, but knowing Heath has that covered is good. I haven’t spoken to Gerard and have refused all contact outside our lawyers.
“You’re all done for the day.” My boss, Amy, smiles as my shift finishes on Saturday night.
“Thank you.” I sigh. “I’m exhausted; it was a busy day.”
“It was. Go home; enjoy your weekend. Are you on again Monday?”
I nod. “I sure am. I’ll see you then.”
Once I finish up the remainder of my work, I get changed and head out. I’m going past the warehouse tonight because I want to see Heath. I’ve had no more than a few minutes with him since last week, and I’m desperate for more. I tie my hair in a ponytail as I walk towards my car. I’m happy, airy, and feeling good about everything in my life right now.
And because of that, life decides to throw me a moment.
Because life is an asshole.
Four men step out from an alley, and I recognize the blond man from last time first. He smiles at me, but it’s terrifying. “Hello Lucy.”
I turn to run, but one of his minions lunges forward and grabs me, throwing a hand over my mouth so I can’t scream. I try to kick backwards but he’s strong. The three other men shadow him as he drags me into the alley and down it. Oh God, are they going to rape me? I squirm harder, fighting and biting, doing whatever I can to free myself from his grips. Nothing works. He’s like a stone.
Panic rises in my chest as I consider all possible scenarios. None of them are good.
We reach a white van, and the door opens before we come to a stop. There are two more men inside. I’m tossed in without hesitation, and I crash to the floor. I push up, scurrying towards the open space, but run straight into the barrel of a gun. I scream and throw myself backwards as the men pile in. I’m surrounded, with nowhere to go. I couldn’t get past them if I tried.