by Lindsay Becs
“Hey, Mom,” I say, trying to sound firm and not as though I’m shaking like a leaf when she answers saying just my name in that tone she uses when I disappoint her.
“Don’t even ‘hey, Mom’ me like you didn’t just blow up the entire IMR, not to mention your dad’s reputation and Zander’s career. What were you thinking, Poppy?!”
I take a deep breath before responding. Maybe I should have started with my dad.
“It was Zander’s idea. He had to leave for his son, and he wanted me to get my shot. He did it for me.” She’s quiet for too long. I look at my phone to make sure she didn’t hang up on me. Nope, she’s still there. “Mom?”
“Your dad wants to talk to you,” she says, and before I can tell her I’m not ready to talk to him, he’s on the other end.
“Poppy,” he rasps over the line. Why is it that both my parents can turn me to a puddle on the floor just by saying my name? What is with that?
“Hi, Daddy,” I manage to squeak out.
“This is the girl who blew past me on the race track and showed me my ass, yeah?”
A laugh bubbles out of me before I can stop it. “Yeah, that’d be me.”
“I thought Zander had finally grown some balls out there. Turns out, he grew balls, just not the ones I was thinking,” he chuckles. “You were incredible out there, Pops. I watched the race after. You raced with such… I should have listened to you. You beat all of us out there on your first race without having any real practice against any of us. That’s not easy to do.”
“Was easy enough,” I say with a growing smile, knowing I’m being cocky, but I don’t care. My dad just told me I was incredible and finally recognized me as a racer.
“I’ll let that comment slide.”
“Are you mad?” I ask, biting my lip, needing to know.
“No,” he says softly. “Surprised as fuck, yes, but not mad.”
“I want to say I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’m not. I never would have gotten a chance like that, to race and show what I could do any other way. At least not fairly.”
“I’m not sure if I’d say fair was what you did, but I can see why you think that.”
“How bad did I mess things up for you?”
“Nothing I can’t handle. You let me worry about that, yeah?”
“Do you think I can race again?” I ask nervously.
He pauses for a long few seconds, making my heart pound in my chest. “I don’t know.”
“Okay.” My heart drops at the thought of all of it being for nothing.
“You staying with Zander then?”
“For now,” I answer shortly.
“There’s a lot for all of us to sort out. But we will. Don’t give up yet. You’re a fighter, Poppy. You have been since the day you were born. You’ve been a fierce competitor from the time you were a little girl, and you showed that in aces the other day. Keep that burning. Fight, you understand me?”
“Y-yes. I understand.” I think.
“Alright, I need to go to a meeting. Come home soon, yeah?”
“I’ll let you know.”
“I’m proud of you, you know that?”
Smiling shyly even though he can’t see me, I nod. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Love you, Poppy.”
“Love you too.”
I sink down into the bed with a goofy grin on my face. That went better than I expected. At least for now. I’m sure I’m still in for a stern talking-to in person. But for now, I’m going to enjoy the high I’m feeling from what my dad said. My dad, who’s proud of me and thinks I raced incredibly.
“How’d it go?” Zander asks cautiously.
Looking up at him, I smile. “Better than I expected.”
“So, your dad knows that we’re…” He trails off, running a hand through his hair, peeking at me with a smirk.
“Yeah, I gathered that too.” I stand to wrap my arms around him. “You okay? How’re things for you?”
He doesn’t answer me. Instead he kisses me. Shit, I can’t ever not kiss him. His soft lips on mine are like magic pulling me under his spell and making me forget everything else
“What does that mean?” I giggle when he pulls away.
“It means I have a lot to think about, but I don’t want to right now,” he says on an exhale, resting his head on my shoulder. “I need to get ready to meet with the caseworker for Blake.”
“Zander, are you alright? For real? Be straight with me.”
Lifting his head, he looks at me, his eyes locking with mine and wrapping around every part of me. “You being here with me is all I need to be alright. You and Blake and Grams are all I care about. The rest will work itself out.” He runs a finger across my jaw with a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“I—” he starts, but I cut him off, putting my finger over his lips. “Don’t. Not now,” I tell him, not ready to hear what I anticipate he was going to say next. He kisses the pad of my finger before stepping back and walking to the bathroom.
I hear the shower turn on, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, sitting on the bed again. I’m lost in my thoughts when I hear Blake knock on the partially opened door.
“Hey, buddy. You okay?”
“My movie is over,” he says, looking unsure if he should enter the bedroom or not.
“Good timing,” I say with a smile as I stand and take his hand. “I think it’s time to get ready for the day then, don’t you?”
I help him brush his teeth and hair before getting dressed. We’re filling his little backpack with toys and books and snacks for the meeting, not knowing how long it will take but that it will seem like an eternity to him either way.
Blake and I are jamming out, singing “The Wheels on the Bus” when Zander jumps into the kitchen to join us with his rendition of the baby crying on the bus, scaring the shit out of me. I drop a bag of Skittles I was trying to sneak into Blake’s bag. The tastes of the rainbow go flying all over as I shriek.
Blake covers his mouth with his little hands, holding in his giggles as I stand there not sure of what to do now that I was busted sneaking him candy.
Zander eyes me with a look of question and a smile tempting to form on his beautiful lips. “Whatcha doing?” he asks, walking closer to me.
I take a step back, holding my hands out like I have no idea what just happened.
He lifts a brow. Takes another step. I swallow and lick my dry lips.
“Are you giving my son candy?”
I shake my head no with fake wide, innocent doe eyes.
He steps forward. I step back. Repeat the same movements and then my back is up against the refrigerator.
He stills then with a satisfied smile because I can’t go anywhere now.
“Okay! Yes! I was putting candy in his bag. The kid deserves candy sometimes. Sue me!” I yell and poke him in the chest.
His head tilts back as deep throaty laughter pours out, the cords of his neck flexing from it.
Man, he’s sexy…
Zander takes a step back and away, and I frown. I like him close and in my space.
“I never said he couldn’t have candy,” he tells me, bending to begin picking up all the colorful pieces from the floor.
“You didn’t?” I ask as I kneel down to help.
“Nope,” he says, looking up at me and throwing the handful he picked up from the floor into his mouth. “Candy is good.”
I stare at him slack-jawed, wondering why the hell I thought he’d be mad or where I got the notion he didn’t like it. I have no idea.
“Blake, come help,” Zander tells him. “We need to clean this up so we can get going.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” he says quietly.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, buddy.”
“But Poppy was giving me a treat and then made a mess. Isn’t that my fault?”
Zander looks at me and then back at Blake, both of us wondering where this is coming from but afraid to ask.
�
��No, Blake, it’s not. It isn’t anyone’s fault. It was an accident. There’s a mess we still need to clean up, but it’s okay. Messes and accidents happen.”
Blake throws himself onto his dad’s back, hugging him so tightly I see his eyes squeezed shut. It squeezes my heart too.
“I’ve got this. You two get going. His bag is missing the candy, but otherwise it’s good to go,” I tell Zander, winking at Blake while I stand to grab the broom.
“Thank you,” Zander tells me, kissing me on the head before he goes.
I’m sweeping up the last of the candy when I hear the door open again. “Did you forge—” I’m stalled by Blake’s tiny body running in and hugging me tightly.
Kneeling in front of him, I give him a real good hug. “Everything will be alright,” I tell him and kiss his head. “Get going before you’re late.”
He smiles at me and runs out, slamming the door behind him, leaving me with tear-filled eyes, hoping I didn’t just lie to him.
20
Zander
They took Blake into a separate room to talk to him. His eyes pleading don’t leave me as he followed behind a lady in a pant suit just about killed me. I know he isn’t going to say anything bad about me or Poppy, but nerves are still zinging through every part of my body waiting to see what happens next.
Am I going to have to hand him back to Natalie and go back to only visits with him? Or am I fool and are they going to take him away from me for good? I did give up my rights to him before he was born. Is this my penance for my selfish decision that’s cost him so much heartache already?
My knee won’t stop bouncing as I wait to speak to the caseworker. I look up when I hear Natalie’s high-pitched shrill from across the room. Why did I give her so much of me and my life? Because I’m a fucking idiot, that’s why.
“Mr. Macallan? We’re ready for you,” a balding man I haven’t seen before says. Clearing my throat in an attempt to choke down my unease, I follow him.
“Daddy!” Blake yells with a big smile, running toward me as he walks out of a different room with the pant suit lady from before. She tries to get him to stay by her, but he’s on a mission and it’s to me.
Crouching down, I catch him in my arms, kissing his head of messy hair. “You okay, buddy?”
“Yep!” he says with an affirmative nod.
“Good. It’s my turn to talk now. You stay with the nice lady you went with earlier, alright?”
“You mean we can’t go yet?” His face visibly falls, and I hate this even more than I did when we first got here.
I shake my head. “Not yet.” I give him another hug before walking him to Ms. Pant Suit and then turning to follow the balding man who I’m supposed to talk to.
Walking into the room that now has Natalie, both of our lawyers, and the balding caseworker, I feel my nerves and heart in my throat.
Pulling up to the house, I see Poppy walking out of the front door before I have my car in park. Fuck, I love her. Exiting, I make my way to her in less than ten big steps, wrapping her in my arms.
And I break.
“Where is Blake? What happened?” she asks, sounding panicked but trying to hold it together for my sake, I’m sure.
But I can’t. I can’t form the words to tell her.
She manages to get us to sit on the step of the front stoop, where I continue to cry like a fucking baby while she tries to soothe me. I take in a deep shuttering breath and look at her beautiful, serene face.
“They said that they like to keep kids with the mom because it’s best for the children.”
“That’s bullshit!” she yells, cutting me off.
I give her a soft smile before continuing. “They granted me temporary custody of Blake until we go to court, where I’m petitioning for sole custody.”
She looks at me, confused. “Then where the hell is he, Zander?”
“Natalie still has visitation. For now, at least.”
“When do we pick him up?”
“They have supervised visits once a week for two hours. The social worker will bring him home after.”
She punches me in the arm. Hard. “You fucking scared me!”
“I was so fucking nervous, Poppy,” I tell her honestly, scrubbing my hands down my face.
“When is the court date?”
“I don’t know yet, but we’ll get one soon. Natalie was pissed, and Blake was crying because he didn’t want to go with her.” I sigh, running my hand through my hair. “I hated leaving him like that.”
“I’m sorry. That had to be hard to watch. At least he gets to come home soon.” She smiles, and I smile back at her because she said “home.” The way she said it made it sound like this was her home too. Our home. Together. The three of us.
“I love you,” I say simply.
“I love you, too.”
Standing, I pull her to stand with me, linking our fingers together, and walk inside. “I had to tell them I was done with racing.”
She stops and stares at me. “What?”
“They told me my career wasn’t child-friendly and that he needed more stability. So, I told them I quit.” I shrug.
“Zander, you can’t just shrug like it’s not a big deal.”
“But it’s not. I knew I was putting my career in jeopary when I had you race for me. Things aren’t going to look good for me to race from here on out, regardless of Blake. For him, I’d give up my left nut if I had to.”
“I kind of like the left one.” She smirks, and I kiss it right off.
Smoothing her hair back and tucking it behind her ears, I look down at her.
And fart.
“Oh my gosh! Seriously?! Now?!” she yells, pulling away from me, but I hold her tight, laughing.
“I had so much tension built up today. You relax me,” I tell her, kissing her nose.
“Well, you can keep that corked from here on out.” She’s still trying to wiggle out of my arms, but I’m too strong for her.
Finally, she lets out an exasperated groan, relaxing her upper body and letting it fall back. “I give up. But that shit smells horrible, dude.”
Laughing still, I pull her head up and press a kiss to her lips. “It does smell bad.”
“Can we at least walk away from it?” she asks as she buries her nose in my chest.
“We can try, but that was a strong one.”
“No shit. I can taste it,” she complains, smacking her tongue on the roof of her mouth.
Taking her hand, I pull her behind me as we run for the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind us as we both fly onto the bed. We’re laughing like kids by the time we land on the pile of blankets and pillows.
I keep her giggles going by tickling her sides while she thrashes under me. She’s laughing so hard I’m worried that she can’t breathe. Then, the most epic thing happens.
She farts.
And I die.
Sitting back on my haunches, I let out a deep throating laugh until I have tears in my eyes. When I look back down at her, she’s lying there with a smile on her face and lifts a shoulder as if to say ‘Oh well, we’re even.’
It’s in this moment I know that she is who I want to spend the rest of my life with—farts and all.
I want Poppy King to be my queen.
21
Poppy
“Hello?” I yell as I walk into my family’s house back in Las Vegas. It’s strange…After being away for so long between traveling with the IMR and then staying at Zander’s the last couple weeks, it’s like walking into a home that’s no longer mine.
“Holy shit, has the prodigal daughter returned?” my brother asks as he walks slowly around the corner, acting like I’m a ghost or something.
“Shut up, Harry butt.” I roll my eyes.
“Do Mom and Dad know you’re coming home?”
I lift a shoulder. “They knew I’d be here soon,” I say, biting into an apple.
He lets out a hardy chuckle. “You always do know how to make an appea
rance.”
I throw my bitten-into apple at him. “Stop being an ass!”
Wrapping his arms around me in a big hug, I can’t fight him off anymore. Truth is, I did miss my little brother while I was gone. He’s always been my constant through the years.
“Where is everyone?” I ask when he steps back.
He hops up on the counter, tossing a new apple at me. “Hell if I know.”
We fall into easy conversation as we wait for the rest of the King family to get home. I catch up on the high school life of my brother, who apparently has a serious girlfriend now. Before long, we look at the clock and realize it’s been over an hour and close to dinner time.
I just open the refrigerator door, looking for something to make, when my dad gets home.
“Don’t tell me the first female to win an IMR race is standing in my kitchen and eating my food,” he says, walking to me and pulling me in for a hug.
“Ha-ha,” I deadpan.
“Your mom and sister should be home soon. Stop eating and we’ll go have a family meal for once, yeah?”
“Sounds good to me.”
“I was going to go out…” Harry begins but quickly changes his mind with one look from our dad. “Or, yeah, I love a little family awkwardness.”
We aren’t a family that fights and doesn’t get along. We just don’t know how to be a family together. Life as a King has never been normal or conventional, but it’s worked well enough. We band together when we need to and love each other, but we are all perfectly happy leading our own individual lives too.
“Pops?” my dad calls out to after we’re back to the house. “Come to my office.”
“Oooo…the hammer is coming down now, princess,” Harry teases in my ear. I elbow him in the ribs, feeling gratified when I hear him grunt.
Stepping into my dad’s office, I close the door behind me and slump down on the couch that sits opposite his desk. The walls and shelves are covered with pictures and trophies of races and championships won, ads and posters of my mom and some of them together when they were younger.