I was. Max was like the star quarterback every girl wants to date. Still, he was an emotional wreck and not thinking clearly. “I know you’re upset about Bella—”
“This isn’t about Bella.” He laughed a little too loudly. “Jeez, you’re always talking about her. Are you sure you don’t want to fuck her?”
“No, but if we went to bed now, you wouldn’t be fucking me.” I jabbed my finger into his chest, not merely to make a point but because touching him just seemed good.
He grinned again. “Believe me, this isn’t about Bella.”
“It is.” I slid my hands across the front of his T-shirt—Max has great pecs—and gave him a shove.
Rolling his eyes, he held up his hands. “Okay, it’s about Bella. Peri…peri—you know, when you see out the corner of your eye?”
“Peripherally.” I nodded. “How so?”
He linked his arms around my waist and pulled me forward so I stepped on his toes and our feet tangled dangerously. “I like women. Everyone knows it. I don’t fall in love with women, though. So, how come I haven’t had casual sex since Bella?”
“Because that wasn’t casual sex. You really liked her.” I leaned against him, purely to regain my balance, I’m sure.
“You’re insane. You women all are. You think men have to be in love to stick their cock in somebody.” He inclined his head for another kiss, but halted. “You know that’s not true, right?”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Gee, we’re drunk, we both just got dumped—”
“You got dumped.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Do I think you love me? No. I think you’re trying to get laid to prove to yourself you don’t care about Bella.”
“Is that so evil and wrong?” His lips were a millimeter from mine.
I shrugged. “I guess not.”
He kissed me again. Max is an insanely good kisser. But there was desperation in it, and sadness. I didn’t need a blood tie between us to feel it.
“Let’s do this, Carrie,” he whispered, sinking his fingers into my hair. “Let’s just have fun.”
It made an insane sort of sense. As we tumbled through the door to land on the Persian rug in the foyer, I convinced myself that this wasn’t terrible. People did this every day.
Max’s mouth never left mine as he rolled us both over so that I straddled him, still fully clothed. With a chuckle, Max sat up. I felt him, hard and eager, through his jeans, but he didn’t appear uncomfortable. In fact, he seemed more at ease and himself in this intimate situation than he ever did while doing mundane things. I wondered if I was with the real Max now, or just another character. Maybe that was part of his practiced magic. I pitied the women who didn’t see it for what it was, because they could fall in love with a man like Max, who made them feel they were the most important woman he’d ever touched.
Luckily for me, I couldn’t fall in love with him. I was already in love with a man who didn’t find me very important at all.
As if on cue, the phone rang.
Max glanced at me, half imploring. Then guilt crept into his expression, and I couldn’t look at him anymore.
I groaned and climbed to my feet, more wobbly than I had been when I’d been plastered. The realization that I had been about to have sex with Max forced the rest of the alcoholic haze from my system, leaving awkwardness it its wake.
“Hey, while you’re up, can you get that?” Max asked sheepishly.
“Fine. But if it’s one of your girlfriends, I’m not going to be very good cover.”
I was surprised anyone would hang on the line for as long as it took me to reach the telephone in the kitchen. Every ring seemed sure to be the last, until I picked up the phone and said tiredly, “Hello?”
“Carrie?”
Nathan.
Two:
Reconnected
“C arrie?” Nathan repeated over the crackling of the line, his soft Scottish accent curling around my heart like a possessive hand.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried not to focus on the fact I was standing in Max’s kitchen wiping his kisses off my neck. “Yeah, it’s me.”
There was a long, heavy pause. “It’s good to hear your voice.”
My throat went dry. I will not cry, I will not cry.
But my emotions were too raw. The alcohol left me with nothing to buffer them. I wiped at my eyes and prayed my voice wouldn’t fail me when I spoke. “It’s good to hear from you, too.”
“I tried to get ahold of you earlier. You must have been out.” He probed gently at the edge of the blood tie, and I shut him out firmly. He laughed softly. “Got something you don’t want me to know?”
“I’m a little tipsy, is all. We just got in.”
“Ah.” Nathan didn’t sound as though he believed me.
He hadn’t yet offered any information about Bella. The suspense had me twisting the phone cord around my arm. It would be better to do it like a Band-Aid, I decided—as quickly as possible so the pain wouldn’t last. “I tried to call you earlier.”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, that’s what Bella said.”
I rolled my lips over my teeth, pressing them until they were numb.
“She said you hung up.”
I managed a tight laugh. “Yeah, I thought I had the wrong number. I didn’t expect her to be there. Do I still have a room?”
My chuckle sounded so lame, if it had been a horse, some farmer would have shot it.
“Of course you do,” Nathan said, his voice so soft I had to strain to hear it over the static. “Listen, has Max heard anything from the Movement?”
I tried to stay out of Max’s personal business, but I did remember the comment he’d made on the Ferris wheel. “No, he said he hasn’t heard anything lately.”
“Bella has.” His casual use of her name sent spears of agony through my heart. “There’s too much to explain on the phone. We’re headed down there right now.”
I imagined her in the seat next to his, looking gorgeous and out of place in the rusty old van. “I’ll tell Max. I don’t think he’ll be happy about her coming here.”
“Why not?” Apparently, Nathan had gone brain dead.
Then I remembered he’d been possessed by the Soul Eater’s evil spell the whole time, and probably missed the weird dynamic going on between Bella and Max. Still, she should have had the common decency to clue Nathan in. “No reason. Forget I said anything.”
“Okay…” He cleared his throat again. “Listen, we’re about an hour out of the city. We’re hoping to get to Max’s before sunrise, but if we can’t, is there a parking garage or something nearby I can shelter in?”
“Yeah, there’s parking under the building. If you buzz up from there you can get straight in.” I winced as I said those words. I should have told him he’d be better to stop in Gary, Indiana for the day. Better yet, he should have turned around and headed back to Grand Rapids.
The kitchen door swung open behind me, nearly flattening me to the wall. Max strolled in and stretched his arms over his head. His shoulders popped and he groaned loudly. “You know what’s just as good as sex? Ice cream. Nah, that’s a lie. I’d rather have had sex.”
I covered the mouthpiece, but it was too late.
“Is Max having trouble getting reacquainted with the city?” Nathan asked, amused.
“I think I’m cramping his style.”
On the other end of the line I heard muffled talking. You’re on the phone to me, your fledgling, your blood, and you can’t wait a few seconds before you talk to her?
Without being able to stop it, my annoyance filtered over the blood tie. Nathan got it, and I felt his relief at our renewed connection. “You’re right, that’s rude of me. Listen, I’m going to let you go. I can explain everything when we get there.”
We. It was like he used the word as a weapon against me. “Fine. We will be here.”
He hesitated. “Okay…well, goodbye, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. It was all I could take. I
hung up the phone and crumpled to the floor.
Max knelt at my side before I could draw two sobbing breaths. “Carrie? Are you okay?”
I couldn’t speak. I could only cry against his shoulder.
“What’s the matter? Is something wrong?” He sounded as alarmed as any man faced with a woman’s tears. It must have been doubly distressing, considering what we’d almost done in his foyer. “Is it me? Was it something I did?”
Shaking my head, I wiped my nose on the back of my hand, but I couldn’t control my sobbing enough to make an intelligent sound.
Max pulled me tighter to his side, as if trying to absorb my suffering through his skin. “You’re really freaking me out. What’s the matter? Is it Nathan?”
It most definitely was Nathan. Anger roared to life in me, drying my tears. Nathan and Bella were coming here. I’d come here to get away from Nathan and clear my head, and he was bringing more pain my way? He was like the opposite of an ambulance; he brought portable disaster.
“That was him,” I muttered. “He’s coming down here with Bella.”
“Bella?” Max frowned. “I thought she was going back to Spain, like, a month ago.”
I gave him a minute. Max was a smart guy. I was confident he would figure it out.
He wasn’t as quick to believe as I had been, but the comprehension slowly crept over his face. “No. No way.”
I nodded vehemently. “When I called the apartment this evening she answered the phone.”
“Well, that doesn’t mean anything.” He was assuring himself as much as me. “Maybe something came up, she got reassigned. It happens all the time.”
“She hasn’t been using my room.” I was half-glad. I couldn’t imagine going back there if she’d usurped my boyfriend—no, my sire; I’d have to get used to the difference—and my bed.
Max nodded. “Well, I’m sorry he hurt you.”
Fresh tears filled my eyes at the ragged pain in his voice. “I’m sorry she hurt you.”
“For the last time, she didn’t hurt me! I don’t give a shit about her!” He stood and stormed angrily through the door.
Numb and cold on the kitchen floor, I stared at the container of ice cream Max had left on the counter.
I don’t know how long I stayed there, watching condensation form on the cardboard. It was leaving trails and pooling around the softening bottom when I finally moved.
I had to pull myself together. It was bad enough I would have to face Nathan knowing he’d chosen Bella over me. I didn’t have to let him know how destroyed I was.
I headed downstairs to my bedroom. In the bathroom, I flipped the shower on, as scalding as I could make it, and stood under it until the water turned frigid and the steam dissipated. Outside, the sun would no doubt be coming up. They would be here any minute.
No sooner had I thought it than there was a soft knock at the door. “Carrie?”
Max peeked around it, eyes modestly shielded, and threw me a towel. “They’re here.”
“Thanks, I’ll be right up.”
“Okay.” He stepped out, then came back. “He looks like hell, Carrie.”
“Good.”
I meant it. Nathan had played me the entire time I’d known him, refusing to get into any kind of relationship with me, but oh, he could have sex with me. That was okay. I could live in the same house with him. He could beg me not to leave him, and tell me constantly how destroyed he would be if I did. But he wouldn’t give up the memory of his dead wife for me.
But he would for Bella. She possessed some magic key, some ingredient I didn’t have, that changed his mind and made him want to be in a relationship with someone.
In a relationship with her.
I dressed, not bothering to try and look good. It would be transparent if I spent another half hour blow drying my hair and putting on makeup.
At the top of the stairs I found Nathan and Bella sitting at opposite ends of the couch. Though I registered their distance, it wasn’t enough to stop my knees from going all watery.
Once we’re turned, vampires never age. Nathan had remained frozen in time at thirty-two years old. A very fit, very attractive thirty-two. Once, I’d jokingly mentioned he must have had a pretty tough exercise regimen in life to get such great arms. He’d chuckled and said, “No, it was from carrying Marianne. She couldn’t walk, toward the end.” His gray eyes had shone with sadness for a moment, then just as quickly changed back.
Now, his gaze snapped to me and he lifted his dark head as I ascended the last few steps.
Max turned as I came fully into the room, and he winked at me encouragingly.
Nathan rose as if expecting, I don’t know—a hug? For me to leap into his arms?
Whatever it was, it wasn’t something I wanted to give him. I waved him aside and flopped into the armchair near the kitchen door. “No need to get up on my account.”
His fingers clenched and worried against each other before he sat down again.
Bella looked from him to me, her eyes slightly narrowed and her mouth quirked in an amused smile, but she said nothing.
“Now that you’re both here, I guess I can break the bad news.” Nathan leaned forward and rubbed his hands on the knees of his jeans. It was a nervous habit, and the denim on his thighs was nearly white with wear. “I’m just going to say it.”
“Get it over with,” Bella practically snarled.
Trouble in paradise? I shot Max a look, but his gaze was fixed on Bella.
“I was trying to.” Nathan slid her a sideways glare. “Something happened at Movement headquarters. That’s why you haven’t had word from them. The Oracle got loose.”
“No.” Max’s exclamation came as a whisper. Not much scared Max, but I knew the Oracle did. An ancient vampire with powerful telekinesis, she had been held under strict supervision by the Movement. Max had actually been on a team assigned with moving her to the high-tech facilities she’d been kept in of late. Not all the team members had survived.
Nathan didn’t respond, but I’d seen that expression on his face many times. He was just as scared as Max. “She killed her handlers, most of the staff. Miguel is gone. So is Breton. She was located in the hospital wing, so most of the destruction is centered there.”
“Anne is dead,” Bella said dispassionately, never looking at Max. “The Oracle set fire to everyone in the hospital wing.”
“Like, with mind powers?” I asked quietly.
Bella frowned at me as though trying to comprehend my stupidity. “No. With the rubbing alcohol from the supply room and someone’s lighter.”
Max moved to the window, his jaw clenching as Nathan droned on about procedures during cessation of communication, and whether or not it was safe for me or himself to be involved.
I went to Max and laid my hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I’m just…You know, I knew it. All those years ago, when we moved her to the new facility, it’s like I could feel that she was planning something.”
Bella snorted. “How could you know the mind of the Oracle?”
“I don’t believe the mind of the Oracle concerns you,” Max growled at her. “How many werewolves died at her hand?”
Her exotic face went pale, but Bella’s golden eyes narrowed. “I am sorry she could not be of better service to you in your campaign of hatred against my people.”
“Everyone just calm down.” Nathan stood, entirely too reasonable for the emotional climate of the room.
When I’d first seen him, I’d just been relieved to be in the same room with my sire. I hadn’t noticed how tired he appeared, hadn’t taken in the dark circles beneath his eyes or the grim set of his mouth.
His gaze flickered over me a moment, and his exhaustion seemed to intensify. “The Oracle didn’t break out on a whim. Like Max said, she must have been planning it. Let’s all turn it in for the day and discuss this like reasonable adults after sundown.”
“Great, I’ll show you guys to your r
ooms.” Max emphasized the plurality. It comforted me to know that though they would probably end up together Max was letting them know he disapproved of it.
Nathan seemed surprised. He looked at me, then back to Max with a shrug. “Sounds good.”
“Okay. Night, all.” I gave a noncommittal wave and turned to the stairs.
Look back.
The suggestion over the blood tie was so strong, I had to give in. When I glanced over my shoulder, Nathan’s gaze locked with mine. I couldn’t discern the emotion there, whether it was guilt or apology or a silent plea for me to come to him.
I shook my head, refusing them all.
Though I was tired, sleep did not come immediately. My brain swam with imagined horrors. I’d experienced firsthand just a taste of the Oracle’s power. I’d seen what she’d done to Anne, the cheerful, eternally teenaged receptionist of the Movement. The Oracle had tormented her with a vision of her spine being shattered, then, years later, she’d made it come true. What had she made those poor vampires in the hospital wing see? It must have been agony for them.
Despite the fact their agenda and my continued existence were mutually exclusive, the vampires I’d met at Movement headquarters had been nice to me, especially Anne, who’d taken me to see the Oracle despite the restrictions against it. That had ended with a skirmish in which the Oracle had tossed Anne around like a rag doll, and tried to rip my head off my shoulders. We’d been relieved, afterward, to learn that Anne had survived her injuries. But in hindsight it seemed she’d been doomed from the start. Because of the Movement’s strict policy against medical treatment for life-threatening injuries, Anne would have been slowly recuperating, with no help but her body’s own healing ability. She would have been completely defenseless when the Oracle torched the place. I think Nathan was right. The Oracle didn’t seem to do things willy-nilly.
I rolled onto my side. The bed seemed bigger and oddly empty, now that my sire had arrived. I ached to lie at his side, listening to his gentle snores and occasional nonsensical sleep babble. Now, that was for someone else.
It made me feel a bit better to review their icy behavior toward each other in the foyer. Maybe Max’s idea of deliberately putting them in separate rooms wasn’t so crazy, as neither seemed inclined to crawl into bed together today.
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