by Whitney D.
“Thank you, Sebastian.”
He narrowed his eyes while looking over at me before giving me his panty-dropping smile.
Opening the door for me and helping me inside the passenger seat of his blue Ford Bronco, I was a bit taken aback at what a total gentleman he was. Making his way around to the driver's side, I leaned over and unlocked the door for him.
When he got in, he laughed a little and mumbled under his breath, ”I hope they're right.”
“What?”
As he fiddled with his keys, they jingled a bit as he searched for the one that went to the ignition.
“My friends have this theory that if a girl leans over and unlocks the door for you, then she's into you.”
“They're right.” My eyes locked onto his.
My confession had barely scratched the surface about how I was feeling, and when I admitted it, he simply smiled.
Inserting the key into the ignition, he cranked his beast of a car and the engine roared to life.
“So...what's the plan for tonight?”
I folded my hands in my lap trying to calm myself. My nerves were buzzing and every time he looked at me, a blush crept up my cheeks.
“Dinner first and then we can figure something out if I haven't scared you away by then....”
“Sounds good.”
“Where do you want to eat?”
“You choose. I'm not picky.”
“How about that new burger place over on Bronson Boulevard?”
“Perfect.”
The drive from the theater to the plaza where the burger joint was located was mostly filled with silence even though the trip lasted only about ten minutes. When we made it there, Sebastian insisted I stay put in the car so he could come around and let me out. He was chivalrous, which was not at all like I had expected he would be. Maybe all of those rumors floating around about him at school weren't true after all.
His hand went to the small of my back as he guided me with precision to the restaurant's entrance.
Opening the door for me, we shuffled inside and where he quickly told the host that it would be just the two of us.
A few minutes later we were seated in a dimly-lit booth in the very back. As soon as the hostess retreated back to her podium, I looked down and began anxiously fiddling with my menu. I was uncomfortable and didn't know how to handle myself because I had never been on a real date before. If he found out he'd probably laugh before leaving me stranded, only to return to school on Monday to spread the word about what a loser I was.
Three minutes into the date and me completely avoiding conversation and eye contact, he finally asked me what was wrong.
“What is it?”
My eyes moved up to find his and when they latched on to them, I gave up because at that point there was no easy way around what I knew I needed to tell him.
“I've never been on a date. I've never kissed a guy either. I have no idea what I'm doing here. You can take me home if you want. I'm sorry. I told you... I'm not like other girls.”
“Sorry? For what? There's a first time for everything, Emery. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”
I half smiled as he reached forward to wrap his large hands around mine which were planted in front of me on the table shaking vigorously.
His grasp around my hands tightened just a bit before he suddenly released them, scooting himself from the booth, and then sliding in next to me.
“Let's solve this right now,” one finger went to my chin, lifting it.
“I'm going to kiss you.”
I became increasingly aware of the heavy pounding of my heart when the room suddenly silenced. I gasped for air, panicking as his mouth neared mine. His tongue darted out, wetting his lips as they settled mere inches in front of me. My mouth went completely dry, and I sucked hard trying to fill my lungs with oxygen as I slowly suffocated. I closed my eyes . . . . .
His lips were soft, eager, wanting. To say my first kiss was mind-blowing, would be a huge understatement. His hand cupped my cheek just before his mouth found mine. I relaxed, dragging my hands up and curling his wavy hair at the nape of his neck between my fingers and tugging it just a bit.
Having never experienced a kiss, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel, but my body warmed when it felt as if the temperature in the room increased by twenty degrees. My girly parts tingled and a ragged breath escaped my lips when he slipped his tongue into my mouth. When he pulled away, I resisted, not wanting the moment to end. I reveled in the experience, and when I finally opened my eyes, he was smiling.
We ordered our burgers when the waiter finally approached and that evening I got to know all of the ins and outs of Sebastian Holt. From that moment on, we were inseparable. He picked me up for school and took me home every day. When he wasn't working, we were hanging out at his place. He took things slow between us and I appreciated his consideration of my inexperience because he never made me feel inferior.
His mom became widowed when his dad passed away after having a massive heart attack when Sebastian was seven. She never dated, from what he knew and she was an ICU nurse at the local hospital. She worked the night shift and slept away most of the day before returning to the hospital each night at seven to start her shift. Sebastian was the youngest of three boys and I gathered that his two older brothers had moved out a while back from what he said. His oldest brother, Trent, had moved up to Ohio for a job and he said he hadn't seen him in more than three years. The middle brother, Gavin, was constantly in trouble and had dabbled in drugs and heavy drinking. On more than one occasion his mom had to leave the hospital in the middle of the night to go bail his rotten ass out of jail.
Sebastian wasn't anything like I had expected before I truly had the chance to get to know him. He'd had a tough childhood from being raised by a single mom who barely scraped by to constantly having to pick up the pieces when his older brother screwed up. He was actually a really amazing guy and I felt fortunate to have found a diamond in the rough.
It was about three months after our first kiss, when something changed. That afternoon, he dropped me off after school. As usual, he walked me to the door, but this time after he kissed me goodbye, he said he needed to tell me something. I freaked out. Was he going to break up with me? No particular instance stood out and I wasn't sure why I immediately thought that what he had to say was going to be bad, but it was the only reaction I had at the moment.
“I feel...” he paused, before taking my hands in his.
“I know.”
“You do?”
“I think so.”
He looked down, for the first time since I'd met him, he acted as if he was scared of me.
His eyes trailed up to mine, “I love you.”
I chewed the inside of my mouth. Should I say it back? I felt something for him. It was possibly love. The only love I'd ever felt was the kind I had for my parents, which was a totally different kind of love. If what I felt for Sebastian wasn't love, I didn't know what was.
“I love you too.”
He smiled and then leaned in to kiss me again before placing his hand on the back of my head and pulling me to him. The kiss intensified when he pressed his body into mine. Was that? He felt hard... down there. Oh God. We hadn't really done anything sexually, other than me letting him occasionally grope my boobs. He really had been very understanding with my inexperience and not wanting to push things between us too fast.
I pulled away when things felt as if they were getting a little too rough, “Sebastian....”
“Sorry. I just can't help myself, Em.”
I nodded, knowing the feeling because I felt it too. I wanted to give him my virginity, there was no doubt in my decision, but I wanted the moment to be absolutely perfect.
I gave him one last peck on the lips before turning to the door to go inside.
“I love you Emery. It feels amazing to say it. I want to just say it over and over and over again.”
Simply put, I was in
love with Sebastian Holt. Everything from the moment after our first kiss had been pure bliss.
“I'll pick you up tonight. Be ready at seven.”
“Okay, I love you.”
It was Friday and Sebastian had the night off from work. We had planned earlier in the week to go to the varsity basketball game at school because one of his friends was the point guard and it was almost the end of their season.
It was early spring and the Florida weather had finally warmed up enough for me to wear something other than leggings or jeans. I dressed up for the occasion... wearing a tiny black skirt, a white lace tank with a red cardigan, and a pair of silver sandals. I left my hair down because Sebastian especially liked it that way. I didn't usually wear too much makeup, but tonight was different. I felt adventurous after my earlier confession of my love for him and I decided to doll myself up.
I coated my lips with a rich red shade that I'd snatched from my mom's makeup bag. I lined my eyes with black liner as dark as night, and I completed my look with several coats of black mascara. Tonight would be special. I wasn't quite ready to give up my V-card, but if Sebastian tried anything else, I wasn't sure I'd put up much of a fight.
After getting myself ready, I went to the living room to wait for Sebastian to pick me up.
When my dad saw me, the first thing he said was, “Where do you think you're going with that all over your face?”
“Daddy, stop.”
“Em, I'm serious. You are still a little girl. People are going to take advantage of you if you walk around like that.”
Maybe that's exactly what I want, I thought.
“Daddy, it's just a little makeup. You have to trust me. And besides, even if you aren't ready to accept it, I'm really not a child any more.”
“Emery Jane Evans... DO NOT take that tone with me,” he pointed one firm finger at me, scolding me as if I were eight years old.
“Sorry, Daddy. All I'm saying is, you have to trust me.”
“I trust you – what I don't trust is your raging teenage hormones. Just promise me that you will make the right choices,” he raised a brow at me without further explaining what he meant, but I knew he was referring to that forbidden three letter work... s-e-x.
My dad's behavior had been particularly strange since he'd gone sober. I couldn't be certain, but it seemed like he was struggling, terribly I might add. His anger and split second outbursts were something I was still getting accustomed to. Before he sobered up, I did whatever I wanted without him really ever saying a word about it. Although, that was before I had a boyfriend who was nearly eighteen.
“I promise, Daddy.”
The doorbell rang and I immediately felt terrible because I had just lied to my dad.
Whatever, I thought, he'll never find out and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
I went to my dad who was furiously changing the channel on the television remote, trying to find something to take his mind off of his want for his favorite 120 proof poison.
“Bye, Daddy. I love you,” I bent and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
“Be home before midnight, honey. Love you.”
I smiled before turning and making my way to my handsome fella who was waiting for me on the front steps.
5
As I opened the door, I smiled, but Sebastian stared at me with wide eyes that gave little indication as to the reason for his expression.
“What?”
“You look... fucking hot.”
I laughed and swatted my hand at him, “Babe, stop it.”
He took my hand in his and interlaced our fingers as he led me to the car parked in the driveway.
Sebastian helped me into the car before rounding the front, and pouring himself into the driver's seat. Starting the car and putting it in reverse, he turned to me as he backed the car out onto the road, “What if we skip the game tonight?”
I shifted my eyes to glance at him with question as to what exactly he wanted to do instead of going to the game even though my instinct told me exactly where our evening was headed.
“I just thought we could be alone tonight.”
I responded without a bit of hesitation, “Alright.”
He drove east out of town, eventually parking the car on the side of the road some where near the Florida/Georgia state line.
Turning off the ignition, he turned to me, and smiling he said, “You coming?”
He didn't open my door that time, like I had grown used to. Instead, he rounded the back of the car, popping open the back and grabbing a tattered red blanket from inside.
Just as he slammed the back hatch shut, I met him at the back of the car.
I had no clue where we were, but the evening air was thick, dark, and humid. My hair was going to hate me for leaving it down tonight. Sebastian hopped over a fence about ten feet off the road, before helping me over.
I looked around cautiously.
He took notice, eventually asking, “What's wrong?”
“Just looking for a NO TRESPASSING sign.”
“We're not trespassing.”
I opened my mouth to ask him what he meant, but he had already taken off into the field. Running after him, I giggled as I jumped onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his strong upper body. His free hand came up to hold my arms crossed snugly against his chest.
My mouth went to his right ear, softly I whispered against it, “Baby, I'm yours.”
It was like I had just told him he'd won the lottery. He stopped walking immediately, tossing the blanket on the ground haphazardly trying to get it to land in a semi-uniform fashion. He peeled me from his body, positioned me in front of him, and braced my face in the palms of his hands before he brought his lips to mine without an ounce of hesitation.
“Em, I love you. So fucking much. I know we're just a bunch of stupid kids, but the way I feel about you is.... special. It's unlike anything I've ever felt. Unlike anything I will ever feel again,” his words were littered between each ravishing kiss.
I moaned against his mouth as he intensified the kiss. With our lips still connected, he slowly walked us towards the blanket, laying me down, with him positioned to my side. He rubbed the pad of his thumb across the seam of my lips. At that moment, I was ready. I wanted to give it to him. I was certain he was the one I was meant to lose my virginity to. My lips parted and I darted my tongue out, sucking his thumb inside, signaling him that I wanted more.
I felt a tingling, you know... down there. I was hot with desire and if he didn't do something soon, I was sure I would rip my clothes off and take what I wanted from him instead.
“Please.... Sebastian.”
He yanked away from me with a questioning stare.
“Touch me. I want you to touch me.”
“Are you sure?”
It was sweet that he wanted me to reassure him, but I was so ready. I wanted his hands all over me.
Instead of speaking, I simply gave him a rapid shake of my head.
His hand went to my inner thigh as his lips crashed back roughly against mine. His fingers played a symphony against my skin as he danced them up and down my flesh, stopping shy of panties each time, then dragging them back down again. He was driving me crazy, the anticipation building inside of me.
At that moment, I grew just a bit of courage as I trailed my hand down to his. Then taking his fingers in my palm, I moved them back to where I wanted him to touch me.
I panted his name and begged him to give me what I wanted and then he did.
He rubbed two fingers delicately against my dampened panties just briefly before moving the silky material aside and inserting one long finger into me.
I screeched in reaction to the feeling. It wasn't at all like I had expected. It didn't feel good... it kind of burned a little, but I didn't want to ruin the moment, so I let him finger me. He groaned as his finger slipped in and out of me, and I felt his cock stir against my leg.
“Fucking Christ. I've..
.. I've got to stop, Em. I won't be able to control myself if I don't stop now,” he drug his lips back and forth against my cheek as he professed his loss of self control to me.
Secretly, I knew he was wishing I would've told him to continue, but I didn't. One step at a time. I wasn't quite ready for that.
“Okay.”
He removed his fingers from me and I felt the wetness on them as he drug them from under my skirt.
“Fuck Em. Watching you squirm was the hottest thing I have ever seen.”
My hands went to brush my skirt down, that was still tugged up a bit when I noticed it. I stared for a few short seconds and when Sebastian saw me looking, his eyes followed.
“Is that?”
I covered my eyes in embarrassment.
Mumbling, I confessed, “Yes.”
A very tiny trail of blood was drawn down the length of my inner thigh where his finger had brushed against my skin as it exited me.
“Did I hurt you?”
Yanking my hands back to my sides, I shot up from the blanket, “NO! God. No. Sorry.”
“Did it hurt?”
“It felt...” I struggled to find the right words, not wanting to damage his sense of ability to satisfy me.
“It felt weird.”
“Weird?...”
“It burned a little, probably from the stretching and tearing. I'm fine. Can we just drop it? It's over now, so next time will be different.”
“Next time?” the thick timbre of his voice was a mixture of want and lust.
The tone of his words had me on cloud nine and wanting more. Laying my head against his chest, I snuggled against him. With each breath he took, his chest rose, and then sunk again. I buried my faced in his shirt, taking in his delicious smell - the Sebastian smell that had me going insane each time I got a whiff of him.
“Prom is coming up, yeah?”
Lifting my head to catch his eyes, I raised a curious brow at him, “Yeah what?”
“You're going with me, right?”
“Depends.”