by Whitney D.
“Baby? Is everything okay?”
“Yes, I'm fine. Just nervous.”
“Nervous? About the dance? That's silly. Don't be nervous,” he laughed.
“No. About after the dance.”
Reaching his hand across the table, he brushed his knuckles along the back of my hand.
“Babe, I told you... if you're not ready....”
“No,” I didn't let him finish.
“I'm ready. I want to do it. I want you to make love to me. I'll be fine - this reaction is to be expected,” I laughed, trying to pull myself out of my nervous funk.
My decision was final and it didn't get brought up again.
After dinner, we headed to the dance which was in one of the lower-level ballrooms at The Hilton. We danced a little, sipped red punch which had yet to be spiked, and we hung out with a few of Sebastian's friends.
I hadn't really spent a huge amount of time with his friends since we'd been dating and as a result, I didn't know them very well. However, they were very nice to me and surprisingly enough, Sebastian's best friend, Sam had brought his lovely girlfriend, Anna, as his date. I had never met Anna prior to the dance, but we hit it off immediately.
Anna was a petite, yet busty brunette with perfectly straight teeth, and a killer tan. She looked like she'd just flown in from sun tan city down in southern Florida. Her natural beauty seemed a bit threatening at first. In fact, before Sebastian introduced us, I was certain that she'd be just like other girls, and that I would soon be adding her to the list of people I would never be friends with.
I quickly realized that I couldn't have been more wrong. Anna was nice. Overtly nice, but not fake-nice. She was genuine and I knew within the first fifteen minutes that I liked her.
Sam and Anna were also staying over night at The Hilton, although I was sure they'd sealed the deal ages ago. Anna handled herself with confidence and I loved that about her. She moved her body with clean lines and fluidity as she danced with Sam across the floor. At some point, Sebastian caught me staring at her.....
“So.... Anna?”
Peeling my eyes off of them, I looked over to him when he questioned me as I took a sip of my punch.
“What about her?”
“She's pretty. Isn't she?”
I wasn't sure what he was getting at.
“Yes. She's sexy, fierce, and she reeks of self confidence... I wish I could be more like that.”
“What? Sexy or fierce?”
The fact that he had completely left self confident out of the question had me wondering if he hadn't even noticed how self conscious I was. Taking a second to think it over, I didn't respond immediately.
“You're both. Sexy, fierce, smart - I love every thing about you, Emery. You're the definition of perfection. You have absolutely no reason to compare yourself to other women. You're in a league of your own.”
Playfully, I rolled my eyes at him before turning back to look at Sam and Anna, but they were no longer in the spot they'd been just moments before.
“Hey guys. You ready? We're going to go up to our room.” Approaching from behind us, Anna shouted over the music.
Letting me decide, Sebastian looked to me for an answer.
I nodded, “Yep.”
Taking my hand in his, Sebastian, interlocked our fingers, before tugging me towards the exit and then out to the elevator. Within moments, a sheet of moisture quickly began to make a presence along my palm. Damn nerves, I thought. When we arrived at the elevator, I withdrew my hand from his grasp and ran my palm along the material of my dress, trying to rid it of the wetness.
Sebastian wrapped his arms around my waist and tugged me backwards into his hard body. When I got a nose-full of his cologne, I was done for. His smell was intoxicating and it had me wanting to rip my clothes off right there in the elevator, and let him take me against the wall. If Sam and Anna hadn't been present, I was certain I would've let him.
When he suddenly tightened his grip on my waist, I could tell that he knew exactly what he was doing to me so I pressed my ass against his groin, taunting him. I shifted my head to the left to look at him and when I did, he shifted his eyes down without moving his head. His smiled curled deviously to the right as he winked at me.
Sam and Anna were staying on the sixth floor and our room was on the eleventh. They said a quick goodbye and told us that we could meet down in the lobby in the morning to grab breakfast before heading back to town.
7
The elevator doors had barely shut when Sebastian suddenly turned, withdrawing himself from behind me and pressing my back against the wall. He lowered his mouth to the bare skin of my neck where he left a path of tiny kisses.
His mouth slowly detoured from my collarbone, up my neck, to my jaw, and eventually to my lips. Pressing his muscular form into me, I felt him hard as a rock, and my legs grew weak and wobbly with anticipation.
The scruff along his jaw was rough and gave a beating to the skin around my mouth, making it deliciously sore.
Sebastian's hand snaked around behind me, pulling my pelvis in line with his. He let out a guttural groan as his cock pressed against me.
The chime of the elevator arriving at our floor, had us quickly separating from one another.
Sebastian didn't speak another word, but he took my hand in his, yanking me off of the elevator and down a long hallway to our room.
Stopping shy of the end of the corridor, he plucked his wallet from his back pocket, and rifled through it until he found the room key card. Room 1193 was where Sebastian Holt would make love to me. I gnawed my bottom lip as he inserted the key and the little light turned green, letting us know we could enter.
Reaching around to the inside of the door, I snatched the DO NOT DISTURB sign from its hanging place, and left it to dangle on the handle on the outside of the door.
“That's my girl,” Sebastian praised me as he loosened his tie from around his neck.
I plopped myself down on the bed as I took in the sight of him stripping every piece of clothing from his body.
First his tie, then jacket, followed by his shoes, pants, and finally his shirt.
Sebastian's eyes never left mine as he undressed. My mouth turned dry and goosebumps rose slowly along my arms when he stood in front of me in just his boxer briefs with his cock on point and begging to be set free.
Closing my eyes briefly, I gathered a bit of confidence and pressed my feet into the carpet as I stood to face him. His hand went to the back of my head, pulling my mouth to him so he could take what he wanted from me. He turned me and moved us backwards slowly, eventually settling against the wall across from the bed. He pinned me to it, and as our kiss intensified, my lips parted, my tongue darting out to meet his. Savoring every ounce of the moment, one of his hands went to the back of my dress, searching for the zipper pull.
As his fingers found what they were looking for, he hesitated tugging on it, but when I pulled his body against mine, he drug it down in one swift movement before my dress fell into a sea of green at our feet.
He glanced down, taking in the sight of my perky bare breasts. He licked his lips and I watched as a large protruding vein in his neck pounded under his skin before we made our way to the bed.
That night, Sebastian made love to me. He was gentle with every touch as he worshiped me, telling me over and over again how much he loved me. Even though Sophie was right about it not really feeling good, it had been the most perfect moment of my life.
The next morning, we cuddled in bed for a long time before we drug our weary bones down stairs to meet Sam and Anna.
Nuzzling his nose into my hair, he asked, “How do you feel?”
“You mean... do I feel like a woman now?” laughing, I pressed the lush curve of my ass against his pelvis.
“Your body. How does it feel? Are you sore?”
I laughed, “I'm alright, babe.”
“I've just heard that...”
“Heard? Or know from experience?” I t
eased.
Although I was joking, I was now curious about just how many virgins he'd slept with. It wasn't like it really mattered to me, it was his past. We all had one of those and I certainly was no one to judge him for it.
Sebastian had been up front with me months ago when he talked to me about his prior sexual experiences. I never asked, he simply confided in me one day as if he felt like he owed it to me. He'd bedded a lot less girls than rumor had it. It was a simple five since he'd lost his virginity when he was fifteen.
“I'm messing around, it doesn't matter. I'm fine though, thanks for asking.”
Planting a kiss on the top of my head, he mumbled, “I'm going to make love to you every single day, Emery.”
I smiled coyly, “I love you.”
*****
Over the next several weeks, Sebastian and I had sex everywhere, everyday... multiple times a day, multiple positions. The first time he made me come while he was fucking me, my toes curled and my eyes actually rolled back in my head. Every inch of my body trembled in reaction as I moaned his name. Even masturbating had never felt as good as it did when he was thrusting into me as I came. It felt good... really good. And I couldn't get enough of him... enough of it.
Our usual schedule didn't really change. When he wasn't working, we still spent the majority of our time at his house which was convenient since his mom was never home. The Saturday night four weeks after I gave him my virginity, I experienced two more firsts with Sebastian.
It was late, sometime after ten o'clock. We'd already had sex twice since I'd come over. We were laying in his bed watching a movie when his hand snaked down between my legs. When he found me warm, wet, and ready for him, he peeled the blanket off of me and went down on me.
I was nervous at first, but then he began mumbling over and over how sweet I tasted. His fingers went into me forcefully just before he made me come undone. When my body began to shutter against his tongue, I pulled on his hair forcing his mouth harder against me while my back uncontrollably arched off the bed in reaction to my orgasm.
“Fuck Em, I almost came from just tasting you and feeling you pulsate against my mouth.”
Feeling bold, I returned the favor. I had never done it before, but I must've been okay at it because he didn't last long.
By that point, he had been my first everything and I was certain he'd be my last. Maybe we were crazy to think we'd be together forever, but we were in love, disgustingly happy, and felt as if nothing could ever come between us.
That night Sebastian dropped me off at home around midnight. Smiling, I went straight to my room, filled with excitement over how lucky I was to have found him and how happy I was that he was mine.
Tearing my clothes from my body, I felt sore everywhere, but I didn't care because it had been totally worth it. My entire body was depleted of energy and as a result, I fell backward onto my mattress and quickly drifted off to sleep. By morning, every thing changed.
I was awoken at exactly 7 AM by my phone buzzing on my nightstand. The night before I put it on silent, but the little bugger's vibration against the surface of the table still managed to drag me from my dreams.
Snatching my phone up, I glanced at the screen. It was Sophie.
“Hello?” I groaned.
“Hey kitty-cat. Long time, no see. I mean, I know you've been letting Sebastian fuck you each and every day, but you've got to tell him that you need a night off to hang out with your bestie,” she teased me.
“Okay. When?”
“I was thinking next weekend? Friday or Saturday... I'm free both nights.”
“Friday. I think Sebastian has to work anyway.”
“Perfect.”
A long awkward silence ensued before she asked what I knew she'd been dying to since the moment I told her I had slept with Sebastian.
“So.... how is it?”
“How's what?”
“His cock? The sex? It must be amazing. Tell me.”
I rolled my eyes, “Soph...”
“I don't need details, just a taste. I want to know!”
Sophie was excited for me, after all, Sebastian was the hottest guy at our school and people who had never paid a bit of attention to me all of a sudden wanted to be my friend since I had started dating him.
I didn't really give in to any of that. In fact, Sebastian and I pretty much kept to ourselves. Even he, who had boat loads of friends, had become somewhat of a loner since we'd started dating.
Cupping my hand around my mouth in an effort to muffle what I was about to say, I whispered, “It's sooooo amazing. We have sex like three times a day. It gets better every time. Last night he went down on me.... and then I...” I paused.
“Soph, I feel weird telling you this.”
“No, it's hot... juicy. Tell me more.”
“I gave him head.”
“You dirty bird! What was that like?”
“Mind-blowing.”
“Did you swallow?”
What happened after that was a complete blur. My bedroom door flew open, and standing there was my mom, tightened fists planted firmly at her hips.
“Soph, I've got to go.”
I didn't wait for her to respond, I just hit end.
“Emery Jane Evans! I have never and I mean never been so angry or embarrassed by you in my entire life. I trusted you. You promised me... you are never to see that boy again!” she screamed so loudly that my ears rang.
Tears began to fall and even though I tried, I couldn't get any words out. My heart rate increased and my mouth went dry as the terror of what she was demanding settled in.
“Do you understand me, young lady?”
I nodded and with that, she turned, yanking the knob to my door and slamming it shut.
When I betrayed my parents trust, things changed. At first I was upset, but blowing it off I figured I would just sneak around and see Sebastian. We would make it work, we had no other choice but to make it work. I couldn't have been more wrong. Ten minutes after screaming at me about my shameful act, my mom returned to my room. This time, she took my cell phone away, telling me I didn't need it anymore. She also went on to tell me how she would drop me off and pick my up from school every day and she would let the Cranston's know that Sophie was not allowed to drive me anywhere anymore. I quickly realized this was going to be a lot harder to pull off that I had originally imagined.
Monday, I went to school as usual. Sebastian found me within five minutes of my mom dropping me off.
“What the hell, Em? I tried calling you all day yesterday. Your phone wouldn't even ring, it just went straight to your voicemail.”
I lowered my face into my hand and then I told him. Everything was my fault. If my mom hadn't overheard me telling Sophie about those precious moments I'd shared with Sebastian, none of this would've happened.
By the end of my confession, Sebastian's face was a mixture of anger, shock, and sadness.
“Babe?”
“Em, it's never going to work. I'm sorry.”
“You're sorry? What are you saying?”
Taking my shaky hands in his, he tugged me along to a bench near the center of the courtyard.
As if he was pained to speak, he brushed the pad of one of his thumbs against the ring he gave me for my birthday. He didn't look me in the eyes, instead he kept his head low, staring at the ring the entire time he spoke, “I have never been dishonest with you, but there are some things I never chose to tell you.”
I shook my head in confusion, lowering my neck in an attempt to get him to look at me.
“Those rumors... the ones about me being a player, sleeping around, treating girls badly.....”
Oh my God.
“Just fucking tell me, Sebastian!” I shouted a bit too loudly as a few kids walking by stared at us.
“Those rumors aren't true. In fact they could be further from the truth, but...”
A rush of relief washed over me for just a tiny moment before I realized the big fat but at the
end of what he'd said.
“But... a girl I dated before you. A similar issue arose. Her parents found out we'd been screwing around and it didn't end well. We tried to make it work, but it destroyed us. She hated me by the end of it. She spread those rumors. She tried to hurt me to compensate for the pain she suffered as a result of what had happened. It's just that... yeah we'll try to make it work. We'll sneak around, but it will get hard. One of us will eventually resent the other and by then, we'll be so far in over our heads. It's better if we just....”
“Just what?”
“I'm sorry... I'm not going through that again Emery. It's better if we just end things now.”
He didn't fight for me. He didn't beg me to figure out a way for us to still be together. Instead, he just gave up. He wrapped his arms around me embracing me only for a short second, and then pulling away, standing, and making his way to first period without speaking another word to me.
Tuesday through Thursday I didn't see Sebastian at school, but when he finally returned, it was like we were complete strangers. He didn't look at me or make any attempt to ask me how I was doing. It was like we didn't even know each other - like we had never known each other.
I cried for days. My heart felt actually wounded, it literally hurt with each heavy beat. When I wasn't at school, I was locked inside my room wallowing in self pity. I went through those typical stages... hate, anger, denial.
Four weeks later, Sebastian graduated from Dempsey-Morris Senior High School. Three days before, I ran into Anna while I was at the grocery store with my dad. She pulled me aside and whispered how I should go to his graduation ceremony. All the while, my dad carried on trying to decide between the bargain brand and the name brand laundry detergent just feet away, completely oblivious about the discussion we were having. I didn't go. I couldn't bring myself to witness such a huge moment in his life, yet not really get to be apart of it. The entire summer that followed was a complete blur. Everyday I slept until late morning, spending the remainder of the day watching TV, only withdrawing myself from my slump to grab a bite to eat in the kitchen.
There hadn't been a single instance I could remember before that where I'd experienced depression, but within a month, I decided that's exactly what had happened to me. I didn't want to bathe, eat, or leave the house. Nothing felt good, nothing made me happy. It was the worst year of my life.