But Marley seemed to be genuinely hurt and like she needed a friend.
I realized after a while, I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge. Marley and Madison, in whatever twisted way, had really been my friends, just not as good as the ones I had now. So, Marley and I started to talk and text again, and I really did consider her one of my true friends.
I typed a quick message back as I slid into a seat in my classroom.
Me: Red one with the skinny jeans and ankle boots, it will look fab with your coloring. Oh, and that leopard purse.
I tucked my phone away and tuned in to class, pulling out my notebook to take as many notes as possible. Half of the students seemed to pay attention, while the other half either drifted off to sleep or tapped away on their phones playing mindless games or pecking out messages. That used to be me—hell, I had probably been worse. The only friends I made back at the community college were stoners, and I basically used them when I needed something to forget about my life for a while.
Class finished all too soon, and we were given a handout about a major paper due in two weeks. Everyone groaned, including me. Writing really wasn’t my thing, I tended to be more of a hands-on type of person, but I knew I could manage. I took out my phone, checking to see that I had about an hour before my shift. Just enough time to run home, change into my work “uniform,” and be on my way.
I called Grams when I saw she tried to reach me several times while I was in class, which instantly set off alarm bells. Grams knew my school schedule better than I did, which amazed me since she wasn’t getting any younger and she would be the first one to tell you that. If she was calling, it had to be for something important. She and my grandpa were both still fairly healthy, but I knew that my time with them was limited. That was just life.
“Grams, what’s wrong?” I asked as soon as I heard someone pick up on the other end. My stomach was in knots, and my mind was racing with a multitude of scenarios.
“Della, honey, I hope I didn’t interrupt anything. How are you doing, dear?”
“Fine,” I dragged out. Maybe she was going a little senile and I just hadn’t noticed it.
I heard her clicking her tongue on the other end and the rustle of something before she spoke again. “Have you read the paper today?”
“Um…nope, haven’t gotten a chance.” I rolled my eyes to the sky as I walked back across campus toward the student parking lot. Sure, I loved school in a dorky kind of way, but reading the local newspaper wasn’t really a priority.
“Well.” She let out a loud sigh. “There’s something in there today, dear. I really don’t know how to tell you this, but it’s about Justin.”
Silence followed as what she said sunk in, and every one of my worst nightmares crashed through my vision at the mention of his name. My feet stopped and someone ran into me from behind, but somehow I kept my balance until I was able to collapse on the grass next to the walking path.
When Justin told my grandparents that he was majoring in criminal justice and would then be attending the police academy, I had felt something strange rush through my body. I hadn’t realized at the time, but it had been fear, fear for him and for myself if I were to ever lose him.
And then I had been the one to push him away, pushing him right out of my life, without even a thought that something could happen to him and I would never see him again. That never crossed my mind as a possibility.
“Della, are you still there, honey?”
Some kind of noise came out of my throat, but I couldn’t form any coherent words.
“Dear, oh my goodness. I should’ve explained myself a little bit better. I probably got you all worked up. Justin’s fine, dear. Well, as fine as he can be, but he needs you, Della. He needs you.”
“PARKER, NICE JOB out there today. You might have actually resembled a cop.” Ty Richards, my partner, patted himself on the back and grinned at me. The dude had to be cockier than me, if that was even possible, and I knew whatever kind of job I did, he would take all of the credit for being the one to train me when I joined the force.
“Thanks, bud. I guess I have you to thank for me being awesome.” I opened up the door of my locker, my eyes flicking to the picture tucked in the corner.
Ty punched my shoulder. “Of course you do.” He tapped on the picture. “You ever gonna tell me about that fine piece of ass? Or do I need to take care of that, too?”
I roughly knocked away his hand, which was still lingering on the one picture of Della that I held onto. It was from our trip to the beach. She explained to me that she had to swim in the ocean since we were there and braved the cold weather in this tiny ass bikini for about five minutes before running back into the hotel shivering. I certainly didn’t mind warming her back up.
The image of her naked beneath me flashed into my head, and I slammed the metal door shut.
“She’s none of your business, and that fine ass that you’re so fond of, is off limits.” Though, if Della were to hear me say that, I’m sure I would get bitched at.
Yeah, I dropped the ball with Della, and she probably hated me for it.
That day at Shorty’s I had been fucking miserable without her, and then it was like a dream come true when she walked through the doors, slowly turning into a nightmare when that douchebag Nash followed closely behind, like she was his or something.
I swore to myself that day I was going to get Della back, and she even gave me an inkling of hope that it was a possibility.
But then life happened.
I joined the force and had to get used to having a new job that was exciting but scared the hell out of me at the same time, even though I would never admit that. I knew Della was starting a new school year and working back at Shorty’s, so I figured I could find her once I was settled into my new routine.
Until I ran into Mia.
Mia was Della’s evil stepsister that I first met when we were dating. It was obvious that the chick had a thing for me, and she really didn’t care about flaunting it in Della’s face. I behaved myself, though, and never gave in, even though she had her ass pressed against my junk whenever possible.
Before Della, I would’ve appreciated something like that but all it did then was piss me off. It was cute how Della tried to contain her jealousy, when she was the one who had told me to occupy Mia in the first place.
It didn’t matter. Della was the only girl that I saw.
I literally ran into Mia when I was off one night, and Nate had dragged me to a club that we used to frequent. He was tired of hearing all of my moaning and groaning about Della and wanted to go out. There had been a little inkling of hope in me that Della could possibly be there, and that would be my chance.
On my way to the bar, a tall, slim blonde ran sideways into me, and for just a second I thought it was Della. But then my hands gripped the waist of the person, saving her when she nearly fell over, I think mostly because of the ridiculously tall shoes she wore.
“O-M-G, Justin!” she squealed loudly, and I instantly recognized the voice.
Mia.
It sure wasn’t Della, but in a strange way, she reminded me of her. Even though Della would never be caught dead in the scrap of material that was barely covering Mia.
Della was no prude, but the first time I set eyes on her, I swear she reminded me of one of those beauty pageant queens: long blonde hair that was never out of place, perfect features that fit her face so well, warm, golden tan skin, and legs that went on for miles. She wasn’t stick thin, like she was sickly, and her curves were probably my favorite thing about her.
I had to stifle a groan when Mia shrieked out my name. I never hid my distaste for her. She was a bitch to Della, and I didn’t let her dish any of that shit out when I was around. So seeing her wasn’t exactly pleasant.
We caught up a bit, and I was surprised to hear that she was actually living with Della. I almost didn’t believe her at first. And then she informed me that Della and Nash were now a couple. I think the f
loor about fell out from underneath me. When I saw Della at Shorty’s, it looked like something was going on there, but it seemed somewhat one-sided, and Della had given me some hope. Well, Mia squashed it, rattling on and on about how perfect they were together.
What the fuck?
Somehow, I was able to peel Mia’s clingy body off me, but not before she added her number to my phone. I never expected to use it, but then I kind of saw her as an in, a way to get details on Della without actually contacting her. Even if that made me sound like a pussy, I didn’t care.
I knew getting friendly with Mia just to get information on Della made me an ass, but we ended up becoming sort of friends, I guess you could call it, even though Mia clearly wanted way more than I would ever give her.
A light punch to my shoulder brought me back to reality, and I looked up to see Ty smirking down at me. “Dude, I’m just messing with you, don’t go getting your panties in a wad. See you tomorrow?”
“Sure thing,” I responded distractedly as I heard my phone ringing from inside my locker.
If I had known that call was going to affect my life, I might have ignored it. It wouldn’t have changed the outcome, it couldn’t have, but it would’ve given me more time. More time to do what, I really don’t know, but I needed it, because the words that came out of my mom’s mouth as soon as I answered, were words that I never wanted to hear.
CALLIE GAVE ME a small smile in the mirror as I assessed what I was wearing: a formfitting, black, peplum dress paired with the lowest heels that I could find, and a cherry red cardigan to cover my arms, because of course, it was raining.
I saw the rain as a sign that the angels were crying because such a great man was joining them way too soon. His absence on this earth would be greatly missed by many, and I’m sure, leave an empty void that could never be filled. I had never been deeply religious, but when I moved here, my grandparents insisted that I begin attending church with them. I was glad I did, because I had done a whole lot of praying over the past few days.
I only knew Dan Parker for a short amount of time, but he’d made a tremendous impression on my life. The first time I met him, I expected a stern, no-nonsense demeanor, since he was a lieutenant and all, but was instead welcomed by a warm embrace and huge grin. I don’t think anyone could wipe that big smile off of his face. He loved his family, no matter how loud and rambunctious they were, and now, he would never get to meet any of his grandkids, whenever they were to come.
When Grams told me that Justin’s dad died, I expected it happened on the job during a botched robbery or a hostage situation, something that was a hazard of his dangerous job. I never expected it to be from some asshole running a red light while Dan was on his way to the store to pick something up for his wife.
So, there I was, getting ready for the visitation and funeral. I felt like I needed to go. Sure, I hadn’t known Dan for that long, but he treated me like a part of the family whenever I was around, and I needed to be there for Justin, even if we hadn’t spoken in such a long time. Just the thought of what he was going through made my eyes fill with tears, just waiting to spill out.
I sniffed loudly, dabbing at my eyes before zipping up my makeup bag.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Callie asked in a quiet voice, but I answered her with a shake of my head, straightening my shoulders like my mother had drilled into me over the years.
“No, I can do this by myself. I don’t need someone to hold my hand.” I gave her a weak smile before picking up my small handbag that only had enough room for my keys and lip-gloss. “Thanks for the offer, though. Are you and Zoey still coming into Shorty’s later?”
“Yup, your favorite customers will be there to cheer you up. Save us a good table?”
“Of course.” I left her with a wave, trying to seem confident, but really, I was scared out of my mind.
It had been so long since I’d come face to face with Justin, and now we would be seeing each other because of the death of his dad. I knew they were close, even though Justin had been such a troublemaker when he was younger. Their family stuck together through thick and thin. I would like to say my family did the same, but I couldn’t, and I had always been jealous of other families that were so close. I think that’s why I gave Marley such a hard time because of her tight-knit relationship with her dad. My relationship with my dad had grown lately, but he still traveled a lot for work. We did talk on the phone quite a bit, though.
I followed the directions that Grams had given me to the funeral home. Justin’s hometown was about thirty minutes in the opposite direction of campus, as well as from the town that my grandparents lived in, but she knew all of the surrounding areas like the back of her hand.
I found it easily, but once I pulled into a parking spot, my body didn’t seem to want to cooperate. I knew I needed to get out, but I was scared as hell. When I pictured a reunion between Justin and me, this really wasn’t how I expected it to pan out. It was supposed to be all rainbows and butterflies, “I missed you and I love you,” and “I’ll never let you go again.” That type of thing. Sounds cheesy, but it’s really how I had pictured things.
Here goes nothing.
I took a deep breath before sliding out of my car and straightening my dress, following the stream of people that were already flowing in, even though I was thirty minutes early. I wanted to try to find a little time alone with Justin. I realized this wasn’t really the time or place to talk about our relationship, but I at least wanted him to know that I was there for him when and if he needed me. And I was really hoping he did.
I was surprised at the lack of police uniforms as I walked in. I figured there would be a sea of them since Dan was such a big part of the police force. Once I overheard the woman in front of me talking in a low voice to the man next to her, though, I understood.
Dan hadn’t wanted a big deal to be made about his death. He had apparently told Leann a million times, if anything ever happened to him, he just wanted to go out like a normal guy. It sounded so much like Dan. If you met him on the street, that’s exactly who you would have thought he was, just a friendly, normal guy.
I felt Justin before I even saw him. The hairs on my arms prickled as a warm sensation ran through my body. I glanced up toward the front where the family was closely gathered around Leann. I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, they were married for such a long time. Jeremy and Jared were both there with their wives, Molly and Sarah, standing closely beside them. The boys looked like they were trying to keep themselves together, but Molly and Sarah’s eyes were both red and they were clutching a fistful of tissues.
And then there was Justin.
He stood a little bit away from the group, the only one out of the brothers not trying to hide his emotions. I could see his gray eyes glittering with tears, the scruff on his face a little damp from the ones that he had already shed and not bothered to wipe away. His shoulders were hunched forward, and his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his dress pants. And yet, he still managed to look even sexier than the last time that I’d seen him. If it was possible, his body had become even leaner, probably from joining the police force. I bugged Brian about Justin’s visit for at least two weeks, until he finally gave in and at least told me that Justin was now officially employed as a police officer. That was all he would give me, but it had been enough. At least he was doing the job that he’d wanted so much. I tried to convince myself that’s why Justin hadn’t contacted me. He was busy with his new career, but eventually he would miss me enough to come find me. Right?
My eyes locked on him once again as the line I was waiting in to greet the family slowly inched forward. I couldn’t believe I was thinking about how good he looked at his father’s funeral. Seriously, what was wrong with me? Justin’s head snapped up just as my foot stepped an inch closer and his eyes met mine.
Shock passed over his face, but it was quickly covered with something resembling anger, until his features
went completely blank. My stomach twisted as I got closer to him, and he hadn’t stopped staring at me. I had no clue what to say to him, and judging by his reaction to me being here, I really had no idea what he was going to say to me, and if I would like it very much.
When it came to my turn to greet Leann, she stared at me for just a second before her eyes widened and she stepped forward. “Della, I’m so glad you’re here.” I reached out tentatively at first, but finally wrapped my arms around her, giving her a tight hug. Her head landed on my shoulder, and I heard a muffled sob as her body shook against mine.
That right there did it. I wasn’t much of a crier, but when other people were in pain, I couldn’t help myself. I was crying for Dan, even though I barely knew him, and I was crying for Leann and Justin, and the rest of his family. I hiccupped loudly as the tears flowed freely from my eyes, and Leann continued to hold onto me tightly, crying against my shoulder.
I’m not sure how long we ended up standing like that there together, but Leann finally pulled away, wiping her cheeks before placing her hands on my shoulders and giving them a light squeeze. “Thank you, honey, for being here.” She glanced quickly at Justin who was watching us closely but still remained expressionless. “Would you please come over to the house after….” She trailed off, I’m sure not wanting to say the actual word. That would probably make it too real.
I nodded, giving her a small smile, and she patted my back, nudging me slightly in Justin’s direction. I couldn’t be mad at the woman for trying. I’m sure if I weren’t given that little push, I might have actually turned the other way.
“Hi,” I whispered, when I landed directly in front of Justin, feeling like a complete idiot. Hi? Really, Della?
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