Twisted Bliss

by C. A. Williams

  “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that….” I trailed off as she collapsed onto the couch next to me, tucking her feet underneath her.

  She waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it, Della. Callie already told me.”

  “It’s not like we won’t ever see each other. I’m sure I’ll still be over here all the time, but now, all of my stuff will be at Justin’s. Maybe you guys could find a new roommate to take over my old room.”

  Zoey rolled her eyes, twirling a piece of her auburn hair between her fingers. “Well, Callie has already claimed your closet, so probably not. Our rent is paid up through the end of the school year, so we’ll see. Who knows what will happen next year? We’ll all be graduating, maybe moving away for new jobs. Callie might even move in with Drew, you know how lovey-dovey those two are. Plus….” I could tell she was trying to bite back a smile, but there was no way she could control it. It was probably the biggest grin I had ever seen on her face. Normally, she was so reserved about everything. “I’m kind of seeing someone.”

  “Really?” I shrieked, immediately covering my mouth once I realized how loudly that had come out. “Wait, what does seeing someone mean in your book? Have you actually gone on more than four dates with him?” Four was normally her limit before she broke things off and moved on. I don’t know if she just hadn’t found the right guy, or she just wanted to see what her options were.

  “Yes, more than four,” she responded dryly and then proceeded to tell me all about the guy, whose name was Will, and he was funny, smart, sexy, and I’m pretty sure Zoey was already in love with him. I wasn’t going to mention that little tidbit to her, though. She tended to be a little standoffish when it came to relationships sometimes. I think it had a lot to do with her high school experience, so she didn’t let people in very easily.

  “Well, I need to go get ready. For my date.” Zoey grinned widely again, giddy about her time with Will and I couldn’t have been happier for her.

  “’kay, let me know if you need any help,” I called after her, reaching for my ringing phone at the same time.

  “Hey, Mom.”

  “Adelaide.” Oh no, apparently I’d done something wrong.

  “Yes, Mother,” I replied, preparing for a fight. We hadn’t really talked recently, so it had been a while since the last time I heard that tone of voice from her.

  She sighed loudly. “I know we haven’t spoken recently, but I was just calling to see how things were.” It sounded like she was more put out by calling me than anything, like she felt she had to call me. I always was under the impression that it was like a motherly duty, that they got off on checking in and stalking their children. Not my mom, apparently. I really don’t know why I expected anything more.

  “Things are going really good. I’m keeping my grades up, still working at Shorty’s, and Justin and I are still going strong. He asked me to move in with him.”

  “Hmm.” She clicked her tongue several times and I braced myself for what she would have to say about that. “Well, do you really think that’s a good idea? I mean, he’s a nice boy and all, but don’t you think things are moving a little quickly? I really don’t want you to destroy your future over some boy that we all know will probably do exactly the same thing he did to you the first time.”

  Yup, no matter how much I braced myself, I could never be prepared for one of my mom’s lashings. Coming from her, they hurt even worse.

  “I thought you liked Justin. And how exactly would I be destroying my future by moving in with him? Sure, it’s not the most conventional thing to do, but neither is moving on to husband number three.” She hadn’t said much about the new guy in her life, but knowing my mother, there were already talks of marriage. She liked to move things quickly along, too, but of course, she was judging me.

  “Oh, Adelaide, I’m not even going to argue with you this time. It seems as if your mind is already made. But you need to get yourself to the doctor. We don’t need another baby on the way from you.”

  “Really, Mother?”

  “Yes, really, Adelaide. I know you think I’ve been cold about that whole situation, but I did what I thought was best for everyone. So, please just go to the doctor.”

  “I already did. Everything checked out just fine.”

  “And you think I’m actually going to believe you?”

  “Check the insurance,” I snapped. It wasn’t something I really wanted to talk about again. Callie had gone with me for support. Once I realized that Justin and I were back together for good, I figured it would be for the best. Callie had even gone into the room with me, standing by my head so she wouldn’t have to see my downstairs business, and holding my hand while I squeezed my eyes shut the whole time. It wasn’t as bad as I expected, but it wasn’t a fun time either. I couldn’t imagine any woman actually finding it any fun whatsoever. So, I was back on birth control—only pills this time—and would remain kid-free until who knows when.

  “Fine!” she huffed loudly. “Well, I guess I’ll talk to you later then.” The call ended before I could even say goodbye, and honestly, I was relieved. It was a good thing we were far away from each other. I definitely don’t think I could handle living near her again, if that were even possible. She never really said where she moved after leaving Gerald, for all I knew she’d moved across country to California.

  Wherever she was, she could stay there forever for all I cared. At least I had Grams in my life, she was more of a mother to me than my own had ever been, and I guess I could live with that. The one thing I did know was if I ever got the chance to be a mom again, I wouldn’t be anything like my own.

  JUSTIN CAME OVER two days after asking me to move in with him, loaded down with boxes, and attacked the mess that was my room. It didn’t seem like I could have that much stuff in such a small amount of space, but I did. “Do you really need this many shoes, princess?” He held up a box of shoes that I’m almost certain I had never even worn, and I rolled my eyes.

  “A girl can never have enough shoes, and I can’t believe you just asked me that. Maybe we should rethink this whole living together thing. Clearly you don’t know me.”

  “Nope, sorry no take-backs on that whole subject. I’ll drag your sexy ass there if I have to.” He winked at me, and turned back to my closet, pulling out an armful of clothes and tossing it onto the bed, where I was supposed to be going through them. Apparently, I was making piles, one to get rid of and one to keep, but I’m pretty sure everything was going into the keep pile.

  I already had about three boxes full of clothes, and it didn’t look like we’d even made a dent in my closet. Justin hadn’t even opened my dresser drawers yet. He would have a shit-fit when he saw those.

  “We should be able to get this all packed up in a few hours, so are you ready to move it all tonight, too?”

  I groaned. He sure was in a hurry for me to move in with him, which explained why he was here packing all of my stuff. I was in a hurry too, but not as much as him, apparently. “Can’t. I have plans tonight with Nash, remember?” I hated to even bring the subject up and I hadn’t at all today, but unfortunately, it was inevitable.

  “Oh, yeah, plans with your best friend, right?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm and I rolled my eyes.

  “Yes, Mr. Parker. Don’t be such an asshole about it. Why don’t we move over everything Monday night after my last class? I don’t have to work and you don’t either, right?”

  “Right. So that means I get to fall asleep with you in my bed Monday night, and every night after that. I guess I can wait.” He pouted, giving me his best puppy dog look possible, and I jumped off the bed, wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “Poor baby, it’s such a long wait.” I smashed my lips to his, taking control this time, and he happily opened his mouth, hissing when I wrapped my tongue around his. I turned our bodies around until his back was to my bed, and I pushed him onto it once his knees hit the edge. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.” I climbed on top of him and
he grinned up at me, his gray eyes already filled with a need that I was more than willing to fulfill.

  “Oh, yeah?” He pulled down on my hips. “Are you sure you can handle all of this?” He grinded into the thin material of my yoga pants and I couldn’t help but work my hips against the bulge beneath me.

  I raised my brows. “Of course I can handle that.”

  Our clothes came off quickly after that, we couldn’t waste any more time with all of the small talk. I needed to have him right then and there, and I simply couldn’t wait. I also succeeded in making him forget all about forcing me to get rid of clothes. It was a win-win situation no matter which way you sliced it. And soon, we would be living together. I wonder if we would ever get sick of this? Yeah, probably not.

  “You fucking wear me out, princess.” He collapsed on top of me, our bodies slick with sweat, our breathing slowly returning to normal, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. “And I love you for that and everything else about you.”

  “I’m so glad that’s one of the reasons you love me,” I replied sarcastically before leaning up to pull his bottom lip in between my teeth. “And I love you.”

  “I HEARD SOME really strange noises coming from your room earlier, Della.” Callie looked at me, somehow keeping a serious expression on her face, and I burst out laughing, covering my mouth with one hand.

  “What?” She arched one brow at me, taking a bite of her sandwich. “I was actually a little worried. It sounded like someone was getting murdered.” She pressed a hand to her chest dramatically. “Oh fuck me, Justin. Oh God. Oh God. Harder. Harder.”

  “Thanks for that reenactment, Callie.” My cheeks were burning red, but I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew some of my roommates were home, but in that moment, I really didn’t care.

  “No problem. I know you’d do the same for me if you ever had the pleasure of hearing me and Drew.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Right.” We caught up on what had been going on in our lives over the past week, and she again started pouting about me moving out. “Don’t worry, we’ll still have our shopping trips. And I’m thinking, I need a pedicure really soon.”

  “That sounds amazing.”

  My phone beeped and I glanced at it quickly, the sappy girl in me wanting it to be from Justin, who had left not even an hour ago, but I was already missing him. Sadly, it was just another guy wanting my attention, but he wasn’t getting it. Chris. Meeting him for lunch had really been a mistake because he was on this kick of making me his again. And he clearly wasn’t getting the hint by me ignoring every phone call and text he sent my way.

  I sat my phone down, heading toward the front door after I heard the bell ring, and swung it open to find Nash. Even though Justin wasn’t too happy about us hanging out, he understood that I was going to do what I wanted, and he would just have to trust me to be a big girl.

  “Hey, Della.” He grinned, showing me that boyish charm that I loved about him, and gave me a one armed hug. “You ready for some fun? Feel like playing some pool?”

  “I don’t know. Do you feel like getting your ass beat?” I groaned, and then left him there while I ran inside to grab my phone and purse. He gave me a knowing smirk as I stepped out onto the porch and then ushered me to his truck.

  We went to a dive bar that I had never heard of before, but apparently, everyone and their mom knew Nash there. After about his third beer in under thirty minutes, I was guessing it was because this was his new hangout. He was definitely dealing with his situation in totally the wrong way. Sure, I was the last person that needed to be judging anyone, but I couldn’t just stand by while he drank his problems away.

  “Don’t you think you should slow down a bit?” I tipped my head toward the glass that was raised to his lips and he rolled his eyes, taking a long drink before slamming it down on the table and reaching over to grab one of my fries. “We’re just having fun, Della. I know what you’re thinking and you’re wrong. I’m not an alcoholic; it just helps me to relax a little bit. If I have a problem, you’ll be the first to know about it.”

  “If you say so.”

  We played a couple more rounds of pool and it reminded me how much fun I had with Nash whenever we were together. When we were kids we were so comfortable around each other, it felt like we were almost family. But tonight was a little different, because alcohol was added into the mix.

  “Okay, I think it’s about time we head back.” I sat my pool stick down and held out a hand, waiting expectantly. Nash groaned loudly, draining another mug of beer before reaching into his pocket and placing his keys in my hands.

  “Such a buzz kill, Della.” He stumbled slightly as he took a step toward me and I looped my arm through his, trying to keep him somewhat upright. With my luck, he would probably end up pulling me down with him when he fell.

  “You’re really ready to go home? We could go hit up a couple bars downtown.” He made an attempt at winking, but instead looked like he had a tick. He couldn’t even wink at me. Really?

  Somehow, we made it back to his truck in one piece and without any mishaps. I helped him get into the passenger side before running around to get behind the wheel. Nash was in no shape to drive. Luckily, since he moved back in with his roommates last week, he only lived a couple of blocks from the house. I could easily walk home after I dropped him and his truck off.

  “You sure you don’t want to go somewhere else?” he muttered, barely opening his eyes.

  I reached over, brushing the shaggy hair away from his face. “No, and I think you need to stop going out so much. It’s not going to solve anything, it’ll just mask the pain.”

  He snorted loudly, grabbing onto my wrist. “When did you get so serious about shit?”

  “Nash, I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I just know from experience what it feels like to go through something like that and I spiraled out of control. I don’t want you to do the same thing.”

  “It’s not the same thing. I had an actual baby in my arms that I thought was mine. You killed yours.”

  It felt like all the air was sucked from my lungs. I gripped the steering wheel trying to stay focused on actually driving, but it felt like Nash just slapped me across the face. Repeatedly. And then stomped all over my chest. No one had ever come right out and said something like that to me. Sure, my mom wasn’t exactly nice about the whole situation, but this was Nash. Yes, it could be partially blamed on the alcohol, but he wasn’t that far gone.

  “You know? You’re a real jackass.” I swiped at a tear that rolled down my cheek and he let out an exaggerated sigh.

  “I didn’t mean it like that, Della. I just—”

  “Just stop.” I held up a hand as I parked in his driveway, and then got out of the truck, quickly heading down the sidewalk in the direction of my house. I just wanted to get home.

  “Della, wait.” Nash grabbed onto my elbow, twisting my body around and I struggled to get out of his hold. “Just stop fighting me. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry.” He pulled me against him and I let myself go limp, collapsing into his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again into my hair and I shook my head against him, sniffing loudly before pushing away.

  “Whatever, Nash. I’m going home. I’ll see you later.”

  “I can’t just let you leave all upset and walk home by yourself.” He grabbed onto my arm once again and drew me back into him, smoothing my hair behind my ear.

  “Nash, don’t do this.”

  “Do what?” he whispered before leaning his head toward mine, his mouth inching closer as his arms tightened around me. I knew what he was going to do and I couldn’t let it happen. Not this time, no matter how badly I felt for him and his messed up situation. His lips just barely grazed mine before I twisted my body away from his, holding up a hand when he quickly tried to approach me.

  “Stop. This is not happening.” I waved my hand between us but he continued to move closer. “I mean it, Nash. Don’t
ruin things between us.”

  “And why the hell not, Della? Things are different now. What we had together before all of this shit went down was pretty good. Don’t you want to try things again? We could be happy together.” He was just inches from me, and my stomach twisted into knots at what he was saying. I hoped that it wouldn’t come to this point between us again. Just because things ended with Mariah, I didn’t think he would automatically jump to the conclusion that we would get back together. Justin had been right all along. Nash wanted to be way more than friends, and I just couldn’t do that.

  “Because.” I licked my lips nervously, but put my brave face on, straightening my shoulders. “I’m with Justin again, and we’re happy. I’m happy. So can you be happy for me?”

  His mouth dropped open several times and then his jaw tightened as he raked both hands through his hair. “You’re really dumb enough to be with that asshole again? After everything he did to you?” He shook his head, smirking. “He’s not good enough for you. I am.”

  “This isn’t a competition, Nash.” I stomped my foot on the concrete sidewalk, jabbing a finger into his chest as the hurt from his words slowly turned into anger. “I’m not some prize that you can win because you think you’re more deserving. It doesn’t work that way.” I spun on my heel, fuming as I quickly started walking away from him, wanting to just get the hell home so I could forget all about this shit night.

  “Wait, Della.”

  “Ugh!” I screamed into the dark night, not bothering to turn around this time as I continued my frenzied pace. “Leave me alone!” I yelled over my shoulder. I could feel him next to me, though, without even looking over.

  “Della, I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”