“I never told you that. I told you that he had broken it off for me, nothing more. I can’t help what you believe.”
“OK, but you let me believe something that wasn’t true rather than tell me the truth.” For some reason, this seemed to really upset me.
He didn’t reply. I walked out of the shower and as I passed I said, “All I want is honesty in what you do tell me.”
I climbed into bed and turned my back on him. I didn’t care what he told me, what he didn’t, as long as he was truthful about it. Couldn’t he see that this was a difficult enough relationship for me? I had accepted his past, his present but the one thing I really did not like were lies and letting me believe something that wasn’t true, in my eyes, equated to a lie.
I knew he was awake, so was I. It must have been a couple of hours later, I felt his fingers stroke my arm.
“I know you’re not asleep,” he whispered.
I turned over to face him.
“Most of my life has been living with lies. I didn’t like what I did to Travis, I watched him heartbroken and it’s not something I ever want to do again but I had to protect him. When I told you it was because of me, I was telling you the truth just not all of it. I made a vow to myself to not lie to you and I haven’t.”
“Robert, you’ve got to understand that I’ve changed my whole life to be with you. Everything I ever did, the way I lived has had to change to fit in with you and your life. All I ask in return is that you’re honest with me. I accept that you won’t tell me everything that you do, have done, but what I do know, at least let that be the whole truth. Don’t let me believe something that isn’t real because it will make me doubt the things that are.”
“You’re right and I’m sorry.”
I pulled him into my arms and held him. I believed him when he said he was sorry and I believed him when he told me he had lived his life with a mass of lies. I also had to remember that emotionally, Robert Stone was still very immature. His mouth sought mine, his fingers trailed down my back, he needed to make love to me to reconnect and I wanted that too. Would we solve everything with sex? A question to be answered another day.
Chapter Four
When I woke, Robert was already awake but instead of out of bed and dressed he was lying still, looking at me.
“Hey baby, are we cool?” he asked, last night still playing on his mind.
“Yes, we’re cool,” I replied. “Like I said, I only ask one thing, no make that two things of you. First, be honest with me in what you do say and second, if you ever cheat on me, I’ll be gone.”
He ran his fingers through my hair. “Agreed and as for cheating on you, you’ll never need to worry about that, you’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
“We need to get up.” I said.
I showered and dressed, made my way upstairs where Travis was already waiting. I felt bad knowing what I did. What with not being able to tell Sam anything, I now had Travis. Living this life must have been hard for Robert, to monitor what he said all the time, to have his secrets. I was finding it difficult and I had only been involved for such a short time.
We headed off to work, I had a couple of hours to make up from yesterday so was keen to start early. The first thing I did was head off to the kitchen and fire up the coffee machine. Today I would make the effort to talk to people on the same floor. They were wary of me and I needed them to overcome that.
“Pete, can I ask you something?” I said as he came in the office.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“When someone new starts, where do they sit?”
“Usually at whatever desk has just been vacated,” he replied.
“I know you’ve arranged for my desk to be placed here but can I move? I love sitting with you but can you treat me no different to anyone else new. I want these people here to see me as a colleague, no special treatment.”
“Well, if you want to. There’s a spare desk over there,” he pointed to the centre of the room.
I moved my things, smiling at the people around me, saying good morning as they arrived and I settled down to continue my research. My desk was one of four, arranged in a square, two women and one guy sat around them.
“Hi, I’m Brooke. I’m just making a coffee, does anyone want one?” I asked as they settled at their desks.
“Thanks, that would be good,” replied one.
I made four coffees, each in turn told me their names, this was a start and I asked them what they were working on. This little group were involved in the apartments, the rentals. Their role was to make sure the rents were all paid on time, any repairs or complaints were reported and actioned. Jess was the only one who really spoke to me, she had only started here a week ago and although I liked her, I had learnt my lesson from Gabby. We would not be friends, just colleagues. Still it was good to have someone finally talk to me.
“So, Brooke, what are you working on,” she asked.
“I’m just doing research at the moment, finding out the best people for the retail units at the Manhattan development.”
“Sounds interesting,” she replied.
“It is. I have a wish list, the kind of shops I would dream about visiting and I want to see if they fit together, you know, create one area where someone can go and buy the whole outfit.”
“Sounds great, well if you need anything let me know,” she said as we settled into our day.
My phone buzzed, I had received a text from Sam asking if I wanted to meet for lunch. I replied that I would meet him in the foyer, I wanted to tell him about my Christmas present for Robert.
“I’m going to the deli, can I pick anything up for you guys?” I asked.
I made a list and headed off. Gary was waiting in the foyer and arm in arm, Sam and I walked.
“So, this Christmas pressie, what is it then?” he asked.
“I have had a rather sexy photograph taken of me, hands tied behind my back and all that, for Robert,” I said.
“Oh my God, Brooke. How far my little missionary friend has come,” he laughed.
“I know, it was exciting though,” I told him about the company, how they only have women photographers and about the vibrator going off in the car on the way home.
“You know, you have changed so much, you’re totally unrecognisable from your old self. I like to see you this way, happy, confident and you look gorgeous, not that you never did before of course,” he said.
“I feel happy and confident and I guess I have someone I want to look gorgeous for.”
“Who would have thought it. Look at us, both in love, both working in Washington and having exciting times,” he said.
“I know, life’s a strange thing, but it’s odd. I know it’s a cliché but Robert and I were destined to be together, it’s like we met at the exact right time in our lives.”
“What’s happening with your work permits?” he asked.
“I think it’s all in the process, Robert deals with it. I only have one month left of my tourist visa so I’m starting to worry. What happens if it runs out?” I asked.
“Well, you would have to leave the country, maybe go to Canada and then come back.”
“Surely there would have to be a gap, a period of time before I was allowed back in.”
“I would imagine so, but, honey, don’t think about it right now, you still have a month and Robert will no doubt get it sorted by then.”
I couldn’t bear to leave him, not now.
We made our way back to the office, my arms laden with orders of food and drinks and Sam sat at my desk while we ate. I was conscious of people listening to our conversation and had to monitor what I said, especially about Robert.
I made some progress in my research that day and eventually came up with a suitable list of retailers to approach. This was the part I was most excited about, how does one approach, say, Chanel and encourage them to take up one of the stores? What I did want to do was go back to New York. I wanted to see their existing stores to se
e if they were ready for a move, an update.
I sent a quick text to Robert, just to be sure he had not forgotten my last dress fitting after work. He texted me straight back, “Do you want to eat out?” he asked.
“Sure, why not. Shall I meet you at the club, haven’t been there for a while?”
****
I arrived at Taylor’s, Casey was there with my dress and it was just wonderful, she had done the most fantastic job. It fitted perfectly and I loved it. The material clung to my body and the colour shimmered in the fitting room lights. I had never worn something so wonderful and as of yet, I still had no idea what it would cost. Thanking her I left for the restaurant, the dress wrapped in tissue paper in the car.
I arrived at the restaurant before him, it was unlike him not to be on time. The waiter showed me to the table in the alcove, the one where we had first sat at and I ordered two glasses of red wine while I waited. I watched him stride across the room when he did arrive, the eyes of other diners follow him, heads bent together as people whispered about him and I wondered if I would ever get used to that. Before he sat, he took my face in his hands and gave me the gentlest kiss. I wondered if he was still worried that he had upset me with his semi-lie but I was not someone who held a grudge, we had talked about it, it was done as far as I was concerned.
“Hey, did you have a good day?” I asked.
“So, so, how about you?”
“Good, I asked Pete to move me to a spare desk away from him so that I could get to know other people, I told him I don’t want to be shown any special favours. I also had my last dress fitting, it’s in the car.”
“Are you pleased with it?”
“Oh you want to see it, it’s just stunning. The designer, Casey, is so talented, she came from the home, I don’t know when but she is great.”
He said her name a couple of times before it registered, “Oh yes. I remember her, she went to design college. It must have been about five years ago she left us.”
“Are you planning on going to New York again? I want to do a bit of research there,” I asked.
“I am, I still have these issues with Luca and to be honest, I need to sort it out with him, when do you need to go?”
“Any time really, I want to check out the existing stores on my list, see if they’re ready for an upgrade. Do you think we could take Kerry, it might be good for her.”
“I don’t know, Brooke. I don’t like one to be treated differently to the others and the thought of 12 kids running around New York would be a nightmare.”
The waiter placed the one menu on the table and before he left Robert asked him to bring a second for me. I smiled at him, in thanks.
“Did you find out what you needed about the nurse?” I asked after we had placed our order.
“I didn’t check, as you say, it’s for him to decide. If anything comes up, in the future, then I guess we just have to deal with it then.”
I reached across and took his hand. “What does your instinct say,” I asked.
“To listen to you more,” he said, bringing my hand to his lips.
“Tell me how the plans are going for Sam’s blessing,” he asked.
“Everything is done really, I just have to firm up numbers this week with the hotel. It’s going to be such a great day. I have one question though, I don’t seem to be able to get an invoice from the hotel, has that got something to do with you?”
“I know what Sam earns, he can’t afford my hotel,” he laughed.
“Thank you. You know I love you, don’t you?”
“Yes, Brooke, I do. He’s your family and I guess that makes him mine too. Would be better if he was marrying a woman though.”
The waiter placed our meals on the table and the smell of our rare fillet steaks filled my nose, making my mouth water. Robert was a big meat eater, a true carnivore in every sense, nothing fancy for him and I watched as he devoured the beef, again, eating so much faster than me.
“Do you remember the first time I came here?” I asked.
“Yes, you came under sufferance, felt you had no choice,” he smiled.
“I’m glad I came, it seems like a life time ago though.”
“I’m glad you came. I’ll be honest, I sat here and had serious doubts you would show. I imagined Travis calling for you and you ignoring him.”
“What would you have done, if I hadn’t come?” I asked.
“I would have driven to the apartment, knocked the bloody door down if I had to and dragged you out. I knew I had to spend time with you. Shall I tell you a secret?”
“Go on,” I replied.
“I didn’t bump into you in the kitchen by accident, I saw you come into the building. I asked security who you were and why you were there, then I followed you. I knew the minute I saw you I needed to find out more. I don’t know why, I only saw you from a distance but I had to know who you were and why I was so drawn to you.”
“Wow. Do you normally stalk your prey?”
“Only those I want to devour,” he said, a wicked smile on his face.
I laid down my cutlery, my meal not quite finished.
“Then take me home, devour me,” I said, dramatically.
He held my hand all the way home and as we pulled into the drive I asked Travis if he was seeing his nurse anytime soon.
“I don’t know,” he replied.
“You know what, Travis, it's okay to have your own life now, you deserve it as much as he does,” I said.
Later that night, bruised and sore, I rested my head on Robert’s chest.
“Can you buy me some more of those,” I said.
“More of what?” he asked.
“You know, my little silver friend.”
He laughed. “And you trust me to choose for you.”
“I trust you with my life, Robert,” I said.
I traced my initials on his chest. “You do something to me. I’m not good at talking about sex, it embarrasses me, but you make me want to do things and I want to try more,” I said quietly.
“What do you mean, you want to try more?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow.
“I want to experiment more with you. I like it that you take control, that you tied my hands. It’s like there’s a part of me that just waking up to the fact that sex can be adventurous and I want to try more.”
He thought for a moment before he answered.
“The thing is, I like it that you’re pure and innocent, you balance me. I could do some terrible things to you and believe me I want to, but I never want you to lose that innocence. I don’t want you to become like me. We’ll have to find a compromise, a middle ground.”
“You’re not corrupting me, Robert. I’m choosing to be. My nature, my character won’t change because of what we do in here.”
“Then, my fallen angel, welcome to the club,” he said, his eyes getting darker by the second as his hand snaked around the back of my neck, gripping my hair and pulling my head towards him.
Chapter Five
Sam’s blessing was just under two weeks away and we were both getting excited about it. I had also finished my Christmas shopping, Evelyn’s apartment and one of the bedrooms were full with bags of decorations and presents.
Sitting at the breakfast bar I turned to Robert, “Can we pick out a tree this weekend?”
“Sure. You know for the first time, I’m looking forward to it,” he said.
I willed the week to speed by and thankfully it did.
On Saturday morning, we visited the home and I caught up with Kerry. She was to have her first date that evening. It had taken some persuading to get Ted to agree, he was as protective over these kids as Robert was, but she was to go to the movies. An early showing but at least she got to go out. I sat with her in her room, she only had a small range of clothes to choose from but a pair of jeans and a lacy top were set aside and I asked her to call me on Sunday, to let me know how her evening went.
With Evelyn sitting up front, we s
et off to find a tree. Travis had been able to locate a farm, not too far from home and hand in hand Robert and I walked along the rows, deciding on the best one. The right one found, it was tied to the roof of the Range Rover, Travis grumbling all the way home about the mess and the scratches he imagined would be there. We left the tree in a bucket of water overnight and while I sat with Evelyn wrapping presents, the boys went for a night out.
“I can’t believe you’ve done this, Brooke,” she said as we looked at the pile of gifts.
“A present for every year they missed,” I replied. “I’m not going to put them under the tree just yet, I don’t trust the boys not to peek.”
It was all small stuff, DVD’s, books, silly joke things and some of the photos that I had managed to find, all wrapped up, red for Robert and blue for Travis. That way we didn’t have to trawl through the name tags to find whose was whose. Robert’s main present was being collected in the next few days. I was stunned when I’d seen the proofs and I selected the photograph I liked the most. I hoped he would like it too. However, a moment of panic arose when I thought about where he would want the picture. I thought it could go in the bedroom, there was no way I wanted it in the lounge. What I had done though was to measure all the photos for the memory wall, make a small mark where the hooks needed to be, so that once he opened them, we could hang them straight away.
I woke early on Sunday, I was excited. I checked on the tree and started to bring the bags of decorations up to the lounge. I tried to make as much noise as possible to wake Robert, I wanted to get on, get the tree up and decorated. I heard the shower run and turned on the coffee machine for him.
“Hey,” he said as he came up the stairs.
“Hey yourself, do you want breakfast?”
“No, just a coffee. What are all those bags?”
“Decorations for the tree. I want you to help me get it up here. I want to leave it in the stand for a couple of hours, let the branches settle before we decorate it.”
“Where’s it going?” he asked.
I pointed against the glass wall. “There, the lights will reflect off the glass at night, it will look lovely.”
Fallen Angel, Part II Page 10