Silver and Solstice

by TJ Nichols

  The blacksmith’s eldest son slept nearby and lifted his head to stare at Rafe.

  “I’m just borrowing these.” He picked up a set of bolt cutters.

  The boy sat up. “You can’t take them.”

  Rafe sighed. “I’m Princeling Rafe. I’ll leave them by the pens. Or you can follow me.”

  “You’re freeing a cat?”

  “Do you want to be involved?”

  The boy lay down and turned his back. Smart kid.

  Rafe made his way back to the pens, creeping through the castle grounds the way he had so often as a teen, though back then it had been to meet whoever had taken his fancy at the time.

  Cal was still sitting, though he was wavering like a leaf in the breeze. His long ears twitched as Rafe drew closer, but otherwise he didn’t move. Would he be able to make it home on his own four feet?

  He was going to have to. There weren’t any other options.

  Rafe cut the lock and let it fall with a clunk to the cobbles. He put the bolt cutters on the ground and opened the pen. The door squealed, but no guard came running. Rafe wouldn’t have been surprised if his father had locked him in for the night just to prove his point, but the risk to the family was too great. Presenting a good family image was all his father cared about. Setting up and arresting Cal was a step too far.

  Cal looked up at him, his wide green eyes luminous pain-filled puddles. He wasn’t sure Cal was thoroughly repentant, but he couldn’t have lived with himself if he’d walked away. He shouldn’t have let Cal leave the house, but Cal was his own man.

  “I can’t carry you, so you’re walking home.” But he’d walk beside him, to stop the city guard from picking him up. Again.

  It took the rest of the night for Cal to weave his way home, his legs unsteady and the silver ring stuck on his toe tapping on the cobbles. Cal sat and leaned against Rafe’s leg, the way he had many times on the slow walk, to catch his breath.

  Rafe scratched his crest. “Come on. We’re almost home.”

  The sun was starting to peek over the castle. They hadn’t made it back before dawn. “We’re going to have a hard year ahead of us if the sun catches us limping home.” Traveling was never a good way to start the year.

  Cal huffed but got up and started walking. He moved faster, his gait uneven, and the sun chased them down the street. They made it into the house before it nipped at their heels. “Up the stairs.”

  With a grunt Cal tackled the stairs, missing one and slipping, his claws raking the wood. Rafe gave his haunch a shove and Cal scrambled the rest of the way into the bedroom and jumped onto the bed. Rafe flung himself onto the bed, boots still on. Calvin draped himself over his chest and licked his face, his tongue rough and his purr deep.

  Maybe they’d mitigated some of their ill start to the year by being in bed together as the sun slanted through the window and hit the bed. With Cal lying with him, Rafe closed his eyes for some much-needed sleep before he had to face his family for dinner.

  His cheek no longer felt hot, but the memory wouldn’t fade as fast as his father’s handprint. It would be easier not to go, but he liked most of his family even if he didn’t like the politics. If he didn’t attend, would his father send the city guard to drag him to dinner?

  Chapter 4

  THE SUN was high when Rafe finally woke. He’d missed the many morning temple services, not that he went very often. He usually attended only when forced because of some family event—weddings, funerals, naming days, the kind of thing he was supposed to dress up for in full regalia. His father would’ve noted his absence and complained about it to anyone who’d listen.

  Rafe stretched out a hand, expecting to find either a cat or a man—hopefully the man—but found neither. The bed was empty.

  A string of curses bubbled to his lips. Then he heard it, the tap of a hammer on silver.

  He forced himself up, still dressed in boots and all from last night, and went down to the workshop. Cal sat at the workbench, a silver disk in front of him as he hammered lettering into the circle. Same number of taps for each letter, to keep the depth even. He was so intent on his work, he didn’t look up as Rafe watched him.

  His chest was mottled with purple bruises. A livid red welt marked his face from temple to jaw. His skin was smeared with dried blood, but the worst of it would’ve healed when he’d shifted. Cal had shaken off a burn from hot metal by shifting to cat and back. The skin had been new and healed as though days had passed. Usually after shifting he liked to bathe because his muscles ached, and then they both ended up naked and wet.

  Cal punched a hole in the disk and fitted a small ring to it. Rafe knew what he was making before Cal slid the disk onto a chain. He walked over to stop him and repeat that it wasn’t needed, but after last night… maybe it was.

  Rafe took a step forward and Cal looked up. His eyes widened. Then he swallowed and looked at the collar in his hand. He’d picked a delicate chain that could be broken with almost a thought.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t. I woke up looking for you.” I thought you’d left.

  “I needed to make you a proper gift for solstice.” Cal handed over the collar. “You can fit it.”

  Rafe’s fingers closed around the chain, but he shook his head.

  Cal’s face fell. “No?”

  “I don’t want to.” But it would be safer for Cal, and it would stop his father from arresting Cal for prowling—he was sure his father didn’t care about the petty thieving. Rafe could’ve saved Cal the torment of last night if he’d insisted months ago. It had been the wedge between them for months. Rafe had wanted to give Cal what protection he could, but Cal resented what the collar meant.

  “I need it. He’s going to hang me, if not today, then eventually. I want to be safe.”

  Now he held the collar, and he didn’t want to put it on his beautiful cat. He didn’t know what to say, but this wasn’t how it should be done.

  “Do you not want me?” His eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I should’ve trusted you and told you, but I was scared. Your father… I am scared of him and what he’ll do next. And I want to run, but I don’t want to leave you. I love you. And the collar is the only way this works and I don’t get penned and you don’t get in trouble.” The words tumbled out in a rush.

  “I’m always in trouble. You don’t see it because you’re not there.”

  “I’ll come with you today. Just put it on.” He stood and turned around, expecting Rafe to seal the chain into one endless loop.

  He couldn’t. Putting the collar on him was the last thing he wanted to do. Like his chest, Cal’s back was a rainbow of bruises. The coming year wouldn’t be easy if the signs were true.

  Last solstice he’d started the year by knocking over the shelves where he kept his supplies. His life had been upturned by the near-naked cat in his workshop.

  Rafe kissed Cal’s shoulder blade. “It shouldn’t be like this.”

  Cal’s shoulders slumped. “Then what is left? We can’t continue.”

  On that Rafe agreed. Something had to change, but he wasn’t convinced the collar was the answer. “If you really want to leave, I won’t stop you.” It would hurt and his heart wouldn’t mend. “Maybe I could leave too?”

  He’d never thought about living beyond the city.

  Cal glanced over his shoulder. “You can’t leave. You’re a princeling and your family is here.”

  “What about your family?”

  “That town is too tiny for a silversmith. You belong here. I don’t.”

  “You belong with me. I want you here. I can’t imagine not having you prowl my house and scratch my stairs. I like hearing you purr when you’re a cat. I like the man sleeping in my bed.” Rafe kissed Cal’s neck. “But if you stay, you can never steal again, or it will kick back onto me. My father will not let that promise slide by.”

  Cal hung his head. “I don’t know another life.”

  Rafe turned Cal to fa
ce him. “That’s not true. You’ve spent almost a year with me. You know a little about working silver. You draw up designs. You clean up when my mess has gotten everywhere, and you cook when I forget. I know you need more from me and I’ll try.” He cupped the undamaged side of Cal’s face. “I’ve done plenty of things to annoy my family, but falling for you might top the list.” He kissed him, and when Cal opened his mouth, Rafe kissed him more thoroughly, liking the rough feel of Cal’s tongue and the purr that built in his chest.

  All the harsh things he thought he needed to say were no longer important. Cal was trying to fix this so they could be together. He gripped the chain so tight it cut into his fingers. Putting it on Cal wouldn’t change anything between them. But to everyone else, to his family, it mattered.

  Cal’s hand slid under Rafe’s shirt, then dragged him closer until there was no gap between them. “Same.”

  This was how Rafe had hoped to wake up, tangled with Cal and making the most of their late start to the day. “Will you stay?”

  “Yes. Will you put the collar on?”

  Rafe was quiet for a moment even though he knew it was the only way to keep his lover safe. He nodded. “But it’s for them, not us.”

  “I know.” Cal kissed him. “I should’ve listened to you. Worn it in public.”

  Rafe rested his forehead on Cal’s. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s a new year. Why don’t you start heating some water so we can clean up and get changed? This can wait.” He put the collar on the workbench. “You will come to dinner?”

  Cal nodded.

  “Good.” He didn’t want his father thinking he’d won a single inch of ground from last night’s battle. “I’ll be there in a bit.”

  Cal left the workshop and Rafe stood there unmoving. The silver in the shop glittered. Several disks of different sizes and shapes were scattered on the workbench as though Cal had taken the time to decide which one he wanted to wear, like lovers picking out the perfect rings to exchange when they married.

  They’d never get to do that. Rafe picked up a blank disk that matched the one Cal had used. He was as much Cal’s as Cal was his. Then he sat and picked up the hammer.

  CALVIN CAREFULLY wiped the blood off his skin. The fear that he’d ruined everything and that his life was over was much harder to erase. He stripped off the pants he’d pulled on and finished washing.

  He’d have preferred to soak in a bath, but the effort of hauling that much water was beyond him, nor did they have the time if they were going to get up the hill for dinner. His stomach turned at the thought of facing Rafe’s father while the scratches on his cheek were so fresh. But it had to be done, to show they were no longer breaking the law. There’d be nothing anyone could do to separate them, not even the head of the city guard.

  Wearing the collar would be worth it. He closed his eyes. He wasn’t giving up his freedom; he was gaining safety and a home.

  From the workshop came the sounds of Rafe working. All he’d needed was the pliers to open and close the last link in the chain. It sounded like he was hammering. Was he annoyed Calvin had left his title off the disk?

  Rafe considered himself a silversmith first and princeling second, so Calvin hadn’t thought it necessary, but maybe it was needed for his family or there was some other requirement he didn’t know about.

  Silence and then Rafe walked into the kitchen. “Did you want me to do your back?”

  Calvin handed Rafe the cloth and he gently wiped his skin clean before handing him a towel. Calvin dried himself as he lingered by the fire.

  Rafe tipped out the pink-stained water and refilled the basin with fresh hot water. He stripped off his shirt.

  Calvin tracked the movement. He wanted to ask what Rafe had been doing and where the collar was, but the words wouldn’t form. Rafe smiled at him, as though everything was fine, and Calvin wanted to believe that. It was too easy to fall for an elf’s smile.

  “I’ll go get dressed.” He didn’t want to leave the kitchen.

  Rafe squatted and unbuckled his boots. “You need to wear one of my formal shirts and coats.” He glanced up. “The pants won’t fit you…. My mother will ensure you get your allotment of castle clothes after today.”

  He wasn’t doing this for the clothes. “What are you going to wear?”

  “The blue? Or did I wear that to my niece’s naming day?”

  “That was the purple.” It had taken a while for Rafe to get dressed that day because Calvin had kept distracting him.

  Rafe stood as he shucked his pants. “That’s right. You pick. I’ll wear whatever.”

  Then he turned and started washing, scrubbing at his skin.

  Calvin hesitated. For all of Rafe’s smiles, there was still trouble ahead. Dinner scared him—he didn’t know how to sit with the nobility. Why couldn’t they go to bed and pretend no one else existed for the rest of the day? He needed a reason to stay, to linger. He’d never needed one before. “Shall I do your back?”

  Rafe nodded and handed him the cloth. “What’s wrong?”

  Calvin wiped Rafe’s skin, his touch slow like a caress. “What if it’s not enough?”

  Rafe turned and clasped his hand. “It will be. I’ll make sure my uncle knows who you are. You’ll be acknowledged as my partner. And they’ll stop offering my hand around like I’m goods for trade.”

  He frowned; it was easy to forget Rafe should be making a political marriage. “How does that change anything?”

  Those who kept a cat were often married.

  Rafe’s lips curved. “I have a plan.”

  Four very dangerous words. “Are you going to share it?”

  “In the pocket of my pants.”

  Calvin rummaged through the pocket on one side but came up empty. Rafe emptied the water and grabbed a towel, drying off as he watched. Calvin put his hand in the other pocket and pulled out the collar.

  But it wasn’t just one. There were two chains tangled together and two disks. Calvin glanced up, then back at the disks. One was the disk he’d stamped with Rafe’s name and maker’s mark; the other had his name and pawprint in the middle. Both chains had clasps as though they were necklaces that could be removed when the wearer grew tired of the jewelry.

  Rafe took them out of Calvin’s hand and untangled them. “It can be taken off when at home, without breaking it.”

  The chain looked too fragile. “What if it accidentally gets broken?”

  “Then we can fix it.”

  He should’ve picked something more substantial, but even as he looked at the chain and what it meant, even with the modification, his heart beat a little harder. “And the other one?”

  “For you to put on me.”

  “That isn’t how this works.” A cat needed someone to vouch for them and watch their behavior. Tame them. Elves didn’t need to be watched or tamed.

  “Why not? You’re mine as much as I’m yours.” He handed Calvin the necklace with the pawprint. Then he turned so Calvin could put it on him.

  Calvin stared at the silver in his hand. He couldn’t collar Rafe. He was an elf, a princeling…. And he’d still be all of that. On Rafe it would just a necklace, but when they were standing together, the meaning would be clear.

  He slipped the chain around his lover’s throat and closed the clasp. “Your family won’t like it.”

  “I don’t care. I’m trying to make this right and it’s all I could I think of.” He touched the silver at his throat. “Nothing changes between us.” He untangled the chain he held. “Will you let me?”

  Calvin nodded and Rafe stepped up close, reaching behind Calvin to do up the clasp. The chain was featherlight and the disk cold between his collarbones. It was done. He was collared and he felt no different than he had only heartbeats before.

  Rafe kissed him. “Now we have matching solstice gifts.”

  Calvin slid his arms around Rafe, careful not to hold him too tightly because his ribs were tender. Even though he was a little broken, parts of him weren�
�t. He wanted more from the first day of the new year than obligation and an awkward family dinner.

  “How hurt are you?” Rafe murmured, his hands sliding over Calvin’s shoulders, then down his arms.

  “Not that hurt.” He ached, but as long as he wasn’t jostled, he’d be fine. He slid his hands down Rafe’s back and tugged on the towel. It fell to the ground. Rafe’s skin was perfect and pale, old scars little more than silvery lines.

  Rafe dropped to his knees, dragging Calvin’s towel with him. “We don’t have long.”

  His lips feathered over Calvin’s length and Calvin closed his eyes. He didn’t care if they arrived late. Missing dinner would be a small scandal compared to what Rafe had planned.

  But Rafe would want to be on time so they couldn’t dally in the kitchen until dusk. He pulled back. “Turn around.”

  Rafe stood and put his hands on the kitchen counter.

  Calvin made sure not to dawdle, sinking into his lover and drawing gasps from him with every thrust. The silver disk tapped between his collarbones as he moved. The ring on his hand gleamed in the sunlight as he held Rafe’s hip. They should’ve been in bed, not in the kitchen.

  Rafe shuddered as he came and Calvin didn’t take much longer. He made no effort to pull away, enjoying the moment of closeness. This was all he wanted.

  “I swear I won’t ruin this.”

  Rafe rested his head on his arms. “I know you’ll try.”

  “I mean it.” He knew what he’d lose. He’d never find this again.

  Rafe lifted his head and glanced over his shoulder. “I’ll protect you better, but you can’t keep secrets.”

  Calvin nodded. No more secrets and no more stealing. This was a new year and a new start, one he shouldn’t have been granted. He didn’t deserve Rafe.

  He slid free and picked up a washcloth. Bathing was never a quick process when they were both trying to get clean. But he wouldn’t change that either.