by Erin Trejo
“You’re my family too, Lynx. You and her and that baby. We’re all family here. Blood doesn’t mean shit,” he reminds me.
He couldn’t have said a truer statement. I learned over the years who my family was and it wasn’t my dad. He was a user that got what he wanted by forcing others to handle his business. Not anymore. Now I have a real family.
“I wanna ask her to marry me,” I tell him.
“Ask her or demand her?” He laughs.
“A little of both probably. I’m not lettin’ her go again. I don’t think I’d survive it this time, man.” It’s hard to admit that but I felt a piece of myself die inside when she left me. Every day that I thought about her, yearned for her, killed another piece of my soul.
“Stan can marry you.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he has that power of whatever shit here in Tennessee. He can marry you now if you wanted,” he adds with a laugh. My stomach clenches, my heart beating faster. “Oh shit. I know that look.”
“What look?”
“The look that says I should have shut the fuck up a long time ago,” Chip adds. I laugh, spin on my heel and head for the door.
“Where the hell are you going?” he yells, following behind me.
I step out of the door and walk to the next one, heading inside the bar. No one bats an eye anymore when Chip and I come barreling through the back entrance. They’re all used to seeing us now. I spot Stan and head toward him, whispering what we’re about to do. He looks at me funny, shakes his head slowly then nods. I turn to find Harper dancing on the stage. She spots me and a huge smile tugs across her face. I move quickly, stopping in front of her to pluck her off the stage and carry her through the crowd. I don’t put her down until I’m right in front of Stan.
“What are you doing?” Harper giggles when she finally gets her balance.
“We’re gettin’ married. You’re gonna be my wife,” I inform her as I adjust my shirt.
“We’re what? I’m doing what?” She gazes up at me with wide eyes that suck me in each time.
“You’re marryin’ me. End of story.”
Harper closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “You’re insane,” she whispers.
I spin toward her, grabbing her cheeks in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “I love you, Harper. We’re havin’ a baby. I wanna do this right, darlin’. For once in my life I want everything to be right.” Her eyes fill with tears before I lean in and kiss her softly. “Tell me you’ll marry me, Harper.”
“I will,” she whispers back.
I pull back and smile down at the woman that’s had my heart for a long time now. She’s been my everything, my rock. Even when I thought I hated her more than I loved her, she was the one who snuck into my dreams at night. She was the one who robbed me of sleep. She was the one who kept my mind focused. I will never let her go again.
We stand with our friends, our family of choice, as Stan says his peace. We both say our own little vows. I told her I was sorry I didn’t have a ring and she laughed. A happy fucking laugh too. She doesn’t care about those things, she never did. After we kiss, the bar explodes. People we don’t even know congratulate us and party with is. It’s the perfect moment in time. Josie drags Harper onto the dance floor with her and Stan while Chip and I sit in the corner at a table drinking a beer.
“You look off,” Chip says when he looks over at me. I take a long pull from my bottle and set it in front of me.
“I need to ask you a favor,” I tell him, my tone going serious. I need to do this, get this off my chest.
“What is it?”
“I have a bad feelin’, Chip. Shit with my dad isn’t over.”
“Don’t do this shit now, Lynx.”
“I need to. Listen, I know it’s not over, but when they come back, I need you to keep her safe. I can’t deal with this shit if I know she’s not protected, Chip.” I watch him run is hand over his face, glancing to Stan and back to me.
“You’re asking me to protect your girl and your kid, Lynx. Are you listening to yourself? You protect them! We aren’t letting this go down without a fight and I’m right at your side, man!”
“I know and I appreciate that, but she’s got a little life in her, Chip. I can’t fight the goddamn war just to lose the battle. I need to know that you can handle gettin’ her somewhere safe and keepin’ her that way.” I don’t like the idea of being away from her either but I know there is something more going to happen. My dad didn’t want us for nothing. Everything with him is for a reason.
“You put me on the goddamn spot, man! What the hell?”
“I trust you, Chip.” I watch as those words break the man. I knew they would – they’re his kryptonite. He didn’t have a lot of trust outside his family. He didn’t have it inside the pen either but he has it from me. He has my trust and much more.
“You can trust me, Lynx. You know that, but-”
“Then just agree to keep my girl safe,” I say with a shrug.
“Fine, you stubborn fuck. I’ll keep them safe, but whatever this is and wherever it leads, you better bring your ass back to her,” he says with a warning in his tone. I smirk and grab my beer taking another long pull.
“Always, brother.”
96
Harper
“I’m married to you,” I whisper, not really meaning to say it out loud but unable to keep it in. I’m beyond happy. I’m in complete shock at the way he went about it but I couldn’t be any happier.
“Are you happy about that?”
I glance up at him from where I rest my head on his chest and nod. “More than you know.”
“Good. I want you happy, Harper. Whatever you want, I wanna give it to you,” Lynx says honestly.
“You are all I’ve ever wanted, Lynx. Just you.”
“So, a baby, yeah? You thinkin’ about that?”
“I’m excited and nervous all in one. I don’t want to mess anything up,” I admit. I’ve always thought about having a child with Lynx. There was always a thought in the back of my mind even when we were kids, and now that we’re older and it’s happening, I don’t know what to say.
“You are gonna be perfect. You have nothin’ to worry about.”
“Do you think they’re coming back?” That question has burned on the tip of my tongue for a while now. I hate to voice it because deep down I know the answer to it.
“They will but you’ll be safe. I’ll make sure of that,” he says softly.
I lay my head on his chest and just listen to his heartbeat. Five years ago, the day he was taken from me flashes in my mind. I never wanted to be weak. I never wanted to leave him, and when his dad said he got life, I nearly died inside. It took all the strength I had to walk away from that place but I knew there was nothing left there for me. He was everything and with him being gone, there was only me. And I knew that I couldn’t stay there with the threat of my foster father without Lynx. I sigh heavily and close my eyes. The past is just that and I need to move on. He’s here, we’re together. We’re having a baby. This is what my life, our life should have been like to begin with. I snuggle into him, and let the world just drift away.
I’m not sure how long I’m asleep when I hear noises. I sit up quickly with Lynx right next to me. He holds his finger to his lips to silence me. I nod my head and watch him slip out of bed before someone comes into the room. It’s dark but Lynx lunges for them. I don’t scream, too afraid that there might be more of them and that’s when I see it. There are more. Shadows burst through the doors, a few moving to help the one fighting Lynx and the others coming toward me. I do scream now as does Lynx.
“Don’t you fuckin’ touch her!” he roars right before the sound of air rushes from his lungs. Each fist that swings seems to hit its mark.
I try to scramble away but hands grab me, jerking me to the edge of the bed. Feeling a small prick in the side of my neck, I scream louder until there’s no fight left in me. The world slowly fades into darkness and fu
zz.
“Harper! I love you, Harper!” I can hear Lynx screaming for me but I can’t get my eyes to focus. He sounds so far away now. My head drops against the mattress as a shadowy figure coming to stand over me.
“Lynx?” I ask but I get no response. The shadow looms, chest heaving before it leans down toward me. I want to scream, I want to run, but it’s useless; I can’t fight whatever is happening to me. I can hear muffled voices in the background but the one I’m looking for is right next to my ear.
“I love you, Harper. Run to me, baby.” I can feel the peck on my cheek but when I open my mouth no words will form. The shadowed forms slowly leave and I’m left to nothingness. No screams. No fighting. No sounds.
No Lynx.
97
Lynx
Anger? No, it’s far beyond that. It’s cold calculated rage that I’m feeling. When I saw Vic standing there with a gun aimed at her head, I lost it. My dad was lucky he had brought so many men with him or I would have killed them all. Now, I’m tied to a fucking chair in the Dragons Strike MC clubhouse basement. A basement that I know all too well. I used to play down here as a kid. I killed down here as a teenager. Now I’m on the chopping block and wondering what the hell this is all about. My dad let his prospects get a few good hits in but I promised those little fucks that as soon as I was free, I would make them all pay. They laughed. Do you know what that tells me? That they don’t plan on letting me walk out of here. That doesn’t sit well with me. I have a wife and child who need me. I need them.
“You’re awake,” I hear Vic’s voice and the thought of him covered in his own blood makes my run hot. I want to bury this fucker with my bare hands. I want to rip him apart for ever pointing that gun at my woman.
“You piece of shit,” I hiss. Vic looks around before stepping closer. Yeah, come closer you bastard.
“It’s not what you think,” he says, keeping his voice low. I don’t give a damn what he has to say. He held a gun aimed at her head.
“Oh no? Tell me, Vic. You gonna go back and kill her now that you have me? Is that what this is about?”
“Not exactly.”
God, my dad’s voice. He’s at the top of my list.
“You. What the fuck are you tryin’ to do here?”
He walks around Vic looking as smug as the bastard always has. It pisses me off. The need to hurt him, the need for is blood is stronger than it’s ever been and I want it. God, do I want it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this strongly about anything but Harper.
“I have a deal for you.”
“Fuck you!” He moves quickly, punching me in the face. I smirk and look back up at him. “Come on, old man. I know you can do better than that.” Egging him on probably isn’t the best decision I’ve ever made, but I do it anyway. There’s too much hatred running through my veins right now to stop myself. Another blow and my head snaps to the side. Another hook from the left. The hits keep coming until I’m barely conscious.
“That better?” the asshole asks me.
“That’s enough, don’t you think, Strike?” Vic asks him. Fucking traitor. I thought he was my friend, my brother.
“No, I don’t.”
Another swing and my eyes roll back. Son of a bitch! If I wasn’t in these restraints, I would fuck them up.
“Have you even told him why he’s here?” Vic chimes in again.
My head lolls to the side. My dad moves only to throw a bowl full of ice cold water over me. I jerk in the chair, dragging my spinning gaze back to his. I smirk at the bastard.
“What do you want?” I ask through the blood dripping down my chin.
“Nomad status doesn’t suit you. I want you back here where you belong,” he roars loudly.
“I wouldn’t come back here. Why the fuck would I?”
Vic moves to pull his phone out of his pocket, pulling up a video feed. Harper sits on the couch wrapped in Josie’s arms, tears streaming down her face. My heart is being ripped from my chest. The harder she cries, the more pissed I become. I want to tear these motherfuckers apart.
“What do you fuckin’ want?” I growl when he pulls the phone away.
“I want you back here,” my dad says as if this is just another conversation.
I turn my head and spit the blood from my mouth before looking back up at him. “Why? You let the Nomad status go through. Why now?”
He seems to ponder that question which annoys me more than anything.
“You went to prison over her. You never wanted Nomad status before that. That little bitch ruined things around here,” he sneers, but when he calls her a bitch, I tug at the restraints as I let out a growl.
“You can’t force me to do shit for you.”
“I can and I will. You want your little bitch to remain alive and well? You will do what you’re told.”
I never pegged him for this type of man. He’s never had to force anyone to do shit for him. He was the president after all, and I find it a little beneath him to be forcing me. I chuckle as I look up at him.
“What’s wrong, Dad? Can’t get your men in line?” A back hand across the face makes me laugh harder. I drag my head back around and look up at him again. His eyes are on fire, murderous even. Good, that makes two of us.
“You were always meant to be here, Lynx. If it wasn’t for her, you would have been! When Den was killed, where the fuck were you?”
“Livin’ my life in hell! Yeah, I nearly killed that fucker for her, and you know what? I’d do it all again!”
“You are dumber than I thought then. I’m offerin’ you your place, Lynx. I’m offerin’ you a place back in the club, back at home! You’d be a fool to not accept it,” he sneers.
“Fuck you! I don’t want anything to do with this club. You are a piece of shit President, and we all know it. Den died? That was all on you, old man.” Each word that leaves my lips is laced with venom and hate. “Did you think there was no talk in prison?” Vic looks confused and I laugh, throwing my head back.
“You didn’t know, did you?” I ask Vic. He looks to my dad and back to me confused as hell. I almost love it a little.
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”
“Den’s death wasn’t an accident. You were out there lookin’ for the fuckin’ shooter when he was right under your nose. Or I should say over your goddamn head,” I inform him of the truth. I wasn’t completely out of the loop during those five years. Rumors went around, truths came out. It was like being on the outside looking in. I heard it all. I wasn’t surprised when I heard about Den’s death.
“What the fuck is he talkin’ about, Prez?” Vic growls, looking toward him.
Get out of this one, asshole.
“You mind your fuckin’ business,” my dad roars at Vic. Vic moves in, grabbing the front of his cut before he snaps.
“I’m your fuckin’ VP! You’re supposed to be tellin’ me this shit, Strike! What the fuck is goin’ on?”
My dad shoves him off and moves back toward me. He leans down, grabbing my face in his hands and squeezing. “You listen to me real good, you little bastard. I made you. I made you who and what you are. You want that girl to live? You do as you’re told. She comes sniffin’ around and I see you don’t send her away; I’ll kill her myself after makin’ all the guys take a round with her. Do you fuckin’ understand me?”
I stare into the eyes of a monster. A monster that resembles me. It’s a gut-wrenching thing to see yourself in someone like him but I do. I could kill without remorse. I have in the pen. I didn’t care because each death meant one less fucker that would come after me. Now my family has turned against me. I always knew he didn’t want me around aside from doing his dirty work. I was too much of a reminder of my mom and he hated that, resented me for that. It never bothered me until right this moment. I cock my head, his hands moving with me as I take him in.
“Kill me.”
“What?”
“Kill me. I won’t be your bitch,” I hiss at him.
&nbs
p; “You won’t? Well then she will,” he laughs as he releases my face and heads toward the door. My heart beats faster, and when I look up at Vic, I know I’ve fucked up. He gives me a small nod and that’s all I need.
“Fine! You fuckin’ win!”
“What was that?” he says, turning around with a smile on his face.
“You win. Don’t fuckin’ touch her,” I grunt. He walks closer and leans down in my face once more.
“Good choice. Fuck up one time, that’s all it will take, Lynx. I’ll have that little red head bent over your lap while the guys all take a turn.”
98
Harper
I don’t know what hurts worse, the pain in my heart or the one in my head. I can barely remember that night. I remember getting stuck and men coming in and then Lynx telling me he loved me. That’s it. When I woke up, I was alone and all his things were gone including his bike. The one good thing was that the baby was alright. I did go and get checked out. Everything else? It didn’t make sense then and it sure as hell doesn’t now. I wanted to go look for him. I begged Chip to take me but he refused. He was furious when he found out Lynx left. I’ve never seen that look in his eyes before and it scared me. Josie kept me calm or as much as she could. It ripped me apart inside. I just don’t understand why he did it. We were happy, we got married and had our own place. Lynx took care of everything and now he’s just gone.
“You look tired. Are you still not sleeping?” Josie asks from where I’m perched at the bar.
“A little. I feel like I can hear him and jump at every little sound,” I tell her. It’s true. Even though Chip and Stan had a security system put in, I feel like there’s something else lingering in the air.
“You are always welcome at the house, Harper.”
I know I am. She’s all but begged me to stay with them, but I just didn’t feel right doing that. I wanted to be at home, in my bed. Home. That was what we had. We had a home and he left it. I don’t know where he is or why he went, I just know that he bailed on me this time. Maybe this is my payback, God’s way of showing me how it felt when I left him. I can feel the tears filling my eyes. I force myself to stop thinking about it and sniff back the tears.