She looked up into the ballooned chute, the edges rippling with their descent.
“The landing is the toughest. Remember what Mace taught you. We’re going to do this together, two bodies moving as one,” he said.
The ground and the people watching came at them faster than she expected. When they were five hundred feet off, the Commander maneuvered the chute toward the circle painted on the desert floor, and she took a few deep breaths. The rest of the team had landed, and she could see them gathering their chutes.
They passed through the smoke of several flares three of the men had ignited on their way down to impress the crowd. The Black Hawks hovered above them from four directions, as if to protect them. They hit the ground running, but the force was hard, harder than she expected. A tweak in her ankle, followed by a sharp pain, shot up her leg, but she ignored it, her heart hammering with exhilaration.
The Commander steadied her quickly, disconnected himself and turned to control the chute ruffling in the desert wind. She looked into the sky. “Holy shit,” she cried. A hand grasped her shoulder, taking her attention from the heavens.
“Kayla, what’s wrong?” Mace barked at her with concern.
“What?” She realized she stood like a wounded dog with her toe propped on the ground taking the weight off her ankle. “I’m fine. I just twisted it.”
But as her adrenaline eased the pain increased. She blew her breath out, her heart still pumping madly. The Commander appeared in front of her, grasping her arms. “Kayla, what’s wrong?”
“She hurt her ankle landing,” Mace said as the rest of the team circled around them.
“It’s nothing you guys, don’t worry about it.” Several hands freed her of the harness. When she put her weight on her foot, she immediately retracted it.
“Ah, shit,” the Commander groaned.
Just about to tell him to stop overreacting, her words were cutoff when he swooped her into his arms, lifting her into the air.
“Ooo-kay. Do I get to make your life a living hell now?” Mace drawled.
“What?” she exclaimed, ripping her helmet off. “Did you threaten Mace?” That would explain his nervousness earlier.
“Just with his life. Nothing he’s not prepared to give up,” the Commander offered with a wicked grin. “Stitch—”
Caleb, the squad’s corpsman, had already slipped her boot off, inspecting her ankle as the Commander walked toward the prep tents.
“It’s definitely sprained, if not fractured,” Caleb reported.
The crowd clapped, but watched intently, knowing something had gone wrong. The men continued to wave as they walked from the landing site.
“I’ll get my kit. I’ll meet ya there,” Caleb said, running ahead of them.
“That was amazing,” she said, throwing one arm in the air, the other snagged around the Commander’s neck.
“Does this mean he took your virginity?” Tony asked, laughing.
The catcalls followed, making her blush. Wrapping her arm around his neck, she leaned against his chest, resting her chin on his shoulder. A gust of laughter escaped her lips, remembering last night. It was the closest she’d ever come to feeling like a true harlot, and now she’d have to ride out the embarrassment.
“Not yet,” he breathed in her ear.
Good thing he had her in his arms, hard to walk with legs made of melting chocolate.
* * * *
She lay on her bed reading a magazine with her leg propped on a stack of pillows and ice packs surrounding her ankle like an igloo. The Commander walked through the doorway adjoining their rooms.
The well-used bed creaked as he sat down beside her and placed his hand on her thigh. “How’s it feeling?”
“It feels fine, besides, I like the way I earned it,” she said heartily. “It’s only a sprain. I’ll be up and being a pain in your ass in no time, sir.” Her breath stopped short in her lungs when his fingers wove through her curls. “Is everyone gone?”
“They’ve gone looking for round two at the Beer Garden.”
“Well, have a good time,” she said, forcing her attention back to her magazine. She was amazed the damn thing wasn’t fluttering like hummingbird wings.
“I’m staying here with you.”
She flopped the mag down in her lap and gave him a stern look. “Go. I don’t need a babysitter, I’ve got hours of TV to watch and the guys brought me enough magazines to read for a year,” she said, looking at the heaped pile spilling over the surface of her night table.
“Kayla—” his features melted into a tortured expression. “I can’t. You understand why, right?”
She knew he wasn’t talking about leaving anymore, but she feigned ignorance. “Commander, you’re not going to pick up a blonde bombshell sitting next to me. The team has a healthy lead on you, get going.” The Commander’s fingers twined through hers, lifting them and kissing them tenderly. Tears threatened to sprout in her eyes at the sensitive gesture. “Go,” she prompted, a smile pouring across her features.
His brows shot together. “He’s right. You smile to make everyone else feel good, no matter how you feel.”
She didn’t know what that meant, but she wasn’t going to ask.
The mattress lifted, relieved of his weight. Grabbing the paper and pen on the night table, he scribbled something on it. “If you need anything, call me. I’ll come right back.”
“Have one for me.” But he didn’t go, instead he sat down again, inches from her, and grazed her cheek with one finger. She couldn’t blame what she’d done last night all on the alcohol. “I’m not going to get any better with you staring at me.”
His gaze trailed across the floor, at war with his thoughts. The moment had turned too serious, and his mind was troubled for no good reason.
“Commander?”
He gathered both her hands in his, but he wouldn’t look at her.
“Thank you for letting me strike something off my bucket list today. I’ll remember every second. Even though I’m a grown woman, I wouldn’t have been brave enough to do it by myself.” She bowed her head. It had meant so much to her. While many women she knew ran marathons, road motorcycles, and jumped off cliffs to mark their lives with challenges and milestones, she lived a sedate life. She’d had enough action in her life, all of it bad.
His finger gently stroked her wrist, pausing on her pulse. “You’ve brought so much light into our world,” he said quietly. “At least…into mine.” His fingers slid under her chin and his thumb brushed her lips as if giving her a kiss. “I don’t hate you, Kayla. No matter how much of a bastard I can be, never think I want you to leave.”
Slowly, she reached up and touched his face, there’d never be another chance. Her stomach somersaulted with warmth seeing his eyes close. “Get going, Commander, the guys are gonna get all the sexy women first.”
“I’ll be back early.” Twisting, he pulled the packs from her ankle and laid them aside for her warming cycle. “I know you won’t, but call me if you want me…If you need anything,” he corrected quickly.
“I don’t need anything. Get movin’, SEAL Commander. Your men need their leader.”
The Commander paused, his muscular form filling the doorway, his hands gripping the frame, whitening his knuckles. With his head bowed, he said, “You’re a beautiful woman, Kayla. I held you in my arms today because I wanted to be the one you experienced the jump with. I kissed you last night because—I…” He turned to face her. “I could blame it on the alcohol, but that would be a lie. I’m only leaving now because if I don’t, I’ll kiss you again, and I won’t be able to stop.” His eyes hardened, his fingers curling even tighter around the frame. “I made a decision years ago, Kayla. I’d serve my country, but not my heart. There’s no middle ground for someone like me. I don’t change my mind once I’ve made it. Allowing you to come with us was the first in a long time.”
Anything she said would sound like she was trying to change his mind, so she remained silent.
/>
“I cause enough pain in my service for this country. I won’t add more by asking someone to share their life with me, and then one day come home in a box.”
Glancing away from him, she said, “I understand pain, Commander. More than you know. We—we’re just fine the way we are.”
Dropping his powerful arms to his side his gaze darkened. “No, we’re not, but it’s the way it has to be.”
His expression softened for an instant, dropping his rugged façade, letting her see him unguarded. The man hidden within the warrior made her entire soul come to life with his power and intense warmth.
He blinked, confusion raining across his expression. “In all these years, you’re the only woman who’s ever given me a reason to doubt.”
* * * *
He and Cobbs left the rest of the team to get shitfaced. Beautiful women hovered over them all night, but all he did was check his phone to make sure he hadn’t missed a call from Kayla. After his asinine speech this afternoon, did he actually expect her to call? At ten, he couldn’t stand it anymore. There were five stoplights between the airport and their hotel, and every damn one went red, except for one yellow, and he wanted to strangle the cabbie for not running it.
The lights in her room beamed into his, and he turned the corner to find her fast asleep. Lying on her side, Kayla clutched her pillow with both arms. One beautiful leg rested on top of the white throw, and her red satin negligee clung to her rounded curves, pulled up enough to see the perfect, soft edge of her bottom.
He quietly made his way around the room shutting off all the lights, and dimmed the one by the entrance. Cast in shadow, her hair flowing around her peaceful features, he gazed at the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Even in sleep she radiated something he’d never seen before, never touched, never felt in his entire life.
Cobbs stuck his head into the room. “Is she all right?”
He stepped to the edge of the bed. “Yeah,” he said quietly, tearing his attention from her to see Cobbs leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed and his brow raised. “Don’t even say it, Pat.”
“Why shouldn’t I? You’re an idiot if you don’t think we can see it.”
He shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Maybe you won’t because you’re a stubborn prick, but you’re walking away from what you need. I’ve never seen you look at a woman like you do her. You’re in love with her, Thane, and if you’re not, you’re one step away. She’s the one, and you goddamned well know it.”
A hopeless laugh escaped him. “Since the day I came home and saw her, everything is different,” He paused. “Remember Libby?”
“Yeah, who the hell doesn’t? Gorgeous—and always willing to give you a good roll, although what woman hasn’t.”
“Three months, Pat. Not even Libby, believe me I’ve tried. Every damn time I’m with a woman, I see Kayla’s face. It doesn’t matter if I’m half drunk, dead tired—nothing. It’s like she came right out of my rib to tempt me.”
“And you don’t think that means something?”
Gently, he pulled the throw over her, and wove his hands through her hair. It would be the last time, he vowed. His heart cinched tight with the thought. “I can’t,” and leaned over to bury his face gently in her hair. Grazing her arm with a light touch, he lost himself in the feel of her skin as his fingers slid down her taut thigh and circled her delicate knee. “I won’t,” he whispered to her, the pad of his thumb following the sensual swerve of her calf.
Mace’s words this morning landed on him like a foot on an IED, and with the same result. He’d never fallen in love. Allowing it would mean breaking his vow to protect and serve. He wasn’t the kind of man who could split his devotions. A ferocious emotion he hadn’t come face to face with often, overwhelmed him hard in the plane—fear. With it came truth, and excruciating clarity helped by Mace’s epiphany that life wasn’t a life at all, unless you knew love at least once.
He wished he knew more about the beautiful creature who consumed all his thoughts, her feminine a perfect match to his masculine.
If there was any chance she could die or he—and they were within each other’s grasp, he wanted her next to his heart when they reached heaven. “God have mercy, I want her.” He closed his eyes to break her spell.
“It’s God’s mercy that brought her to you, Thane.”
It was agonizing to pull away from her. His heart thundered in response to the lightning of her soul, and he let himself feel it all for one instant. “My sweet mermaid, I have to set you free.” He kissed the top of her head and raised his eyes to his closest friend, whom he knew wouldn’t judge him. “I don’t know how…but I know she’s already suffered enough in this lifetime. There’s only so much luck and mercy God can offer, and I’ve used up my fair share, Pat. I can see her standing by my coffin, and I won’t do that to her.”
Chapter Twelve
A month rolled by, and Kayla struggled every day. When she’d pass his door, the Commander would either nod at her or give her a quick, professional hello. He’d put his admissions behind him, and set the tone for their future. She didn’t waver, maintaining her professionalism, keeping her concentration on her job, because when she did look at him, her heart went from zero to sixty in the same time it took a short range missile to strike its target, and the impact was the same.
Today the exercises had them all bending their minds with concentration.
“Commander Austen?” the Commander of SEAL Team Seven, Todd Masters, drawled over the radio as she, Captain Redding, and several other officers hovered about in the Command center.
“Shit,” the Commander swore under his breath. The pencil he held in his fingers snapping in two.
They’d been exercising all afternoon. Each team led by their direct commander. Teams One, Three, Five and Seven, maneuvered around the harbor in a naval type of chess game. Each team had been broken into smaller squads who manned RHIBs and gunships, each trying to corner the other.
Kayla was an observer, like most everyone else present. She scanned the large screen in the dimly lit room, monitoring the movement of all the teams as they made their tactical choices.
“Looks like you’re finally going to buy me a case of scotch this year, Ghost,” Masters laughed in an arrogant way over the exercise channel on the radio.
She didn’t like Masters. He was an arrogant bastard. What he lacked in brains he made up for in bravado and a loud voice. He hadn’t stepped foot on a mission in years, always keeping his ass out of the fire, but he had no problem shouting orders.
“Like hell,” Commander Austen muttered, his eyes darting across the screen.
Team One appeared to be cornered, the rest of the teams had already been taken down. Redding leaned into her shoulder. “Masters is going to rub this in. It’s the first time anyone has beaten Thane at this. He’s never lost, and watch out for the shit storm that’ll follow if he does.”
Her eyes widened. “Cornered?” she asked, confused.
Redding nodded with his lips pursed. “I don’t think there’s any way he’ll get out of this. He’s pinned, and by the look on Ghost’s face, he can’t see a way out, either. ”
She shrugged. “They’re not cornered.” When she said it, every head in the room turned toward her, and the expressions weren’t friendly. She swallowed and took a step closer to the Commander, more for reassurance. He glanced at her, then narrowed his eyes. She was supposed to be keeping a record of the movements and those who were taken out and when. The one thing she’d learned working for the U.S. Navy, if you had a job you did it, and then shut the hell up.
“Kayla, a moment, please,” the Commander asked, sweeping the other men with a look.
Three more steps brought her to his side. He plucked a second mic from the console and handed it to her. Tentatively she took it, and stared at him. He gave her a quick nod. She cleared her throat and stared up at the screen. “Fox still have the line of explosives in L4?” she asked quietly, r
eviewing the grid.
He barely nodded.
“Three minutes and counting, Commander Austen,” Masters’ voice cracked over the radio, sounding very sure of himself.
“I really dislike that man,” she whispered. She saw the edges of the Commander’s lips curl upward. Darting a look at the live cams, twenty-four of them in all, some mounted on the Mark fives, some on the men’s helmets, she played the moves in her mind like a chess game. “Fox, this is Snow White, over,” she called, using the scrambled channel for their team ops.
A long pause returned. “Go ahead, Snow White,” Fox answered.
She surveyed the monitors to be sure. “On mark, activate Lima four line, Gunship One alpha, starboard full attack, Zodiacs One Alpha, Bravo, and Charlie, forward full three seconds after detonation. Zodiacs One Delta, Echo and Foxtrot, port long sweep…”
“Holy shit,” the Commander said, crossing his arms and beginning to laugh.
She continued, “Gunship One Bravo,” She paused, knowing they were the wild card. If Team Seven went into preservation mode like she thought, Gunship One Bravo would be the whale that would break their backs. She brought the mic up to her mouth. “Gunship One Bravo, round ’em up from the stern. All units acknowledge receipt, over.”
“Thirty seconds, Ghost,” Masters squawked on the other channel.
He didn’t bother to respond. “May I?” he asked, with a satisfied grin.
“Certainly,” and she handed the mic to him.
“Team One—expedite,” he ordered.
Fox let the entire line of explosives go on the L4 grid. A wall of water exploded into the sky forty feet high, cutting Team Seven in half, they scrambled just liked she hoped. Team One flew into action, following the plan. It was over before it even began. When the wall of water retreated, Team Seven was surrounded, with no exit.
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