“Open the door. If we’re going to fight, it’s going to be face to face.”
“I don’t need to see your face right now. Good night, Commander.”
He exhaled, trying to keep his patience, but the two inches of wood between them was pissing him off. Crazy words threatened to spill from his mouth, but he resisted. Too many years of making love to women and leaving them without a second thought had ingrained itself. Too many missions, too many funerals seeing the sorrow in the widow’s eyes as he laid a folded flag in their shaking hands stopped him.
“Kayla, open the fuckin’ door.” He heard her tenacious footsteps fall away and the creak of the frame as she sat on the bed. Maybe leaving her alone would be best. Christ, he didn’t know, this was a first for him. Shuffling a woman out of his house on the rare occasion he did have one over was never an issue and of paramount importance. He rested his palm on the raised wood panel. “We have spent every night in each other’s arms for two weeks.” When silence returned, he slid down the pine-stained door, and sat on the floor crossing his arms over his knees. “Is this the silent treatment?” Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes.
“Go to bed, Commander Austen.”
* * * *
Thane’s eyes shot open and he craned his neck to see the clock on his nightstand staring back at him. Zero two-thirty hours. The sound that must have pulled him from sleep came again. Kayla was crying out. Throwing the blankets, he strode down the hall and listened. Reaching for the knob, he rolled his eyes as it turned in his hand. Why the hell hadn’t he tried the door earlier?
Filling the doorway, he took a quick scan of the room. The streetlight splashed the floor with a diffused glow. Kayla struggled with her demons as she did every night. Sweat covered her body, and her arms jerked then stilled. Standing over her, knowing what she was fighting in her mind, his anger dissolved. Biting his cheek, he stared down at her. The strength she had to possess to deal with her past and not fold to her demons amazed him. Lying down, he curled her in his arms. “Sweetheart, he can’t hurt you anymore,” he whispered, gathering her heated body against his. “I’ve got you.” Within a few seconds, she relaxed.
Kayla draped her leg across his. Dipping his head, he nestled his chin against her hair. “Have to leave,” she mumbled, and then her breathing eased. The long draws of a peaceful sleep tempting her.
He didn’t want to contemplate what his life without Kayla would be like. The answer came with one word—empty.
Once he was sure the nightmares had been driven back, he left her. For the next two hours he stared at the ceiling, resisting the urge to return to her. What they’d shared would stay with him forever. He ignored the immediate agreement of his erection, and tried to sleep.
* * * *
Thane held out a cup to her when she walked into the kitchen the next morning. She expected anger, instead—he pushed the milk carton and sugar toward her with a worried expression. “One cream, and a half sugar.”
A quick snap of guilt ricocheted inside her. “Thank you.” She poured it quickly and then headed for the deck.
Waking with a clear head, she’d decided Thane was not going to be twisted up in her troubles any more. Sitting down on the wooden stairs, she stared into the sky. A few small cumulus clouds dotted the otherwise clear celestial dome.
He sat down beside her. “You are a pain in the ass.”
This time she wasn’t falling for the bait to prod her into an argument. Slowly she raised her chin, her heart racing, but she folded it in a cold hand of refusal. “No,” she looked over her shoulder at him. “I’m a pain in your ass. Let the police do their job and you go do yours.”
“I am doing my job. We serve and protect.”
“Not one person,” she said, attempting to get up, but he laid a strong hand on her arm for her to stop.
“Sometimes we do.”
“Somebody important, not someone like me.”
“You are important. You’re important to me.”
“I know. I’m the bait, and I’ll do my part.” Downing her coffee in a couple gulps, she lingered on the split second of warmth it gave her, then took a deep breath. “I’ll take the bus to work, and I’m going home tonight.”
“We need to talk about last night.”
“No, we don’t.”
He followed her into the kitchen. Grabbing her overnight bag, she headed for the door, but he stood in front of it with his arms crossed. When she looked at him, he shook his head at her as if exasperated. “You’re not bait, and I—”
“I know—you’re like the Mounties. You always get your man.”
“Sit,” he ordered, and pointed at his couch.
“Bite me.” She almost stunned herself with that one, but obviously, it stunned him more when his eyes popped open. Then guilt, which had no business taking a stroll through her heart, made her pause. “Listen, I get it. I’m okay with it, and I don’t need to talk about it.”
“You don’t get squat. Sit the fuck down, Ms. Banks.”
Making a big production of scanning the ground around her, she then looked up at him. “I don’t see a military base around here, do you, SEAL? There’s about three kilometers of road between here and there. I’m going to work. You can take it out on me there.”
“You’re not working today, sit.”
“Then I’m going home. Either way, I’m not staying here with you.”
“Fine, you want to be obstinate—go.” He opened the door with a sharp tug. “If you want to pretend what happened between us last night meant nothing, great, so will I.” His eyes grew fierce.
She brushed by him ignoring his anger. “Good, put me on your ‘been there, done that’ list.”
An angry growl rumbled from him. “You’re the one running away, not me.”
At the bottom of the steps, she turned to look up at him. He always had to have the last word, well not this time. “You have a country to protect. I have a job to do. Obviously, we crossed the line. Transfer me, soon.”
He nodded sharply. “You want a transfer, you got it.” The door closed with a heavy bang.
God, he was such a hardheaded egomaniac, and he’d gotten the last word in—again. Standing at the bus stop, she mulled over their intimate moments in her mind. His words to her while they made love kept tumbling over each other, but she couldn’t make sense of any of them. They’d resisted each other for so long. Why last night? Suddenly she realized Thane’s car was parked against the curb a foot away from her. The window lowered.
“Get in, we can fight some more on the way to work.”
She concentrated on the lady walking her dog across the street. Dressed in his uniform, Thane got out of the car and approached, looking like one very angry, profoundly large man. The two other people at the bus stop took a step backwards. He stopped only inches from her, but didn’t touch her, leaving his hands on his hips. “You’re not bait, all right, and you should know that.”
Her bus rounded the corner and trundled toward them. “My bus is coming.” Her heart hammered in her chest with Thane staring down at her. “It was mind-blowing sex, is that what you need to hear? And it will never happen again.” She shrugged. “There you go, you’ve heard it.”
Thane’s mouth tightened into a thin line then he turned and opened the passenger door. “Get in.”
It was easy for anyone to see he was vibrating mad. “Want to hit me, don’t you? Go ahead, get it out of your system.”
“What?” His expression disintegrated into confusion. “Kayla, I could never do that.” He gently grabbed her shoulders. “If this is a test you can consider it over right now. You can push my buttons all you want, but I will never hurt you.”
She almost caved with the sorrowful look in his eyes. Believing in him had always been easy for her, it was herself she didn’t trust. “I have to go, Commander.” He looked terribly unbalanced, and that didn’t happen—ever. “You’re the first man I’ve…well you know…in a long time. I understand why you
did it, and it was the right thing to do. We have to catch the Shark so no one else will die. I can stand on my own two feet. I don’t need your protection or your concern.” She swallowed heavily, knowing every word was a damn lie. “But we can never do that again because you push all my buttons, too. The ones that make me into a woman who doesn’t want to be alone any more. Who thinks you’re the most amazing man she’s ever known, no doubt like all the other women who’ve spent a minute with you. That’s more dangerous than the Shark will ever be to me.”
He blinked at her and for once, she got the last word, and stepped onto the bus.
Chapter Twenty-Five
She worked her last shift of the set and it was a busy one. Sleep deprived, she was wearing down. Revealing her thoughts to Thane had worked. He gave her space, at least physically, but he called her every night wanting to come see her. Her answer was a resounding, “No.” He said they needed to talk. Since when did men want to talk? Last night had been the hardest.
“I’m coming over and you better open the door,” the Commander said, sounding more unsure than threatening.
“Not happening.”
“Why?” he shot back. “My men shouldn’t be there, I should.”
“Send the team home.” A four-man shift watched her every night. She always brought the guys in and made them dinner. They tried so hard to make her feel at ease, and she tried hard to make them go home, but they’d give her a hug and kiss, and resume their post until morning. Thane didn’t come as far as she knew, at least she didn’t see him.
“I will, if you let me come over.”
“Whatever you need to say, you can say it on the phone.”
“I want to say it in person.”
Maybe the Ghost realized he had gone too far trying to the catch the bad guy. “You don’t have to screw me to entice the Shark. Send your men home and he’ll come.”
“That’s not why I made love to you.”
“Screwed.”
“Made love.” The words recoiled like a powerful rifle and then he fell silent.
Her heart constricted wanting to believe him, but the man whore of Coronado wasn’t going to change his spots. “Bullshit. Now send the guys home, because they won’t listen to me.”
A heavy knock on her door made her mouth gape. She didn’t have to open it to know there was a very powerful, exceedingly handsome warrior standing on the other side of it. “Go—home.”
“I’ll stand in the hallway like an idiot and talk on the phone if I have to.”
She walked to the door and pressed her hand against it. Peering in the eyehole, she saw he was doing the same thing. “Start talking.”
“Kayla—” His forehead leaned against the wood. “I guess I deserve this.”
Toeing the tile in her entry, she shrugged to herself. In a quiet voice, she said, “The guys need to be with their families, and you need to go on a mission. Why don’t you call Libby? Say good night, Commander.” She hung up the phone before giving him the chance.
* * * *
Thank God this was her last shift and she had four days off. She was exhausted, and all she wanted to do was go home and fall into bed, but each night she spent reading, listening for every sound, she hadn’t gotten used to living in the Landing. Shivering, the air conditioning turned the ambient air to meat locker cold, and she wrapped her sweater tightly around her shoulders.
“Kayla, what if I come over after work and stay with you tonight?” Gord said, laying a hand on her shoulder. “You’ve got a spare room.”
She gave him a tired smile. “No, I don’t want you guys anywhere around me right now.” Gord and Barry had both offered several times already. She was so bloody tired she couldn’t stop the tears, and they simply gushed from her eyes.
“Kayla, come on, it’s going to be all right,” he said, wrapping her in his tall, lanky frame. He rested his chin on the top of her head. “They’re going to catch him. You just have to hang on a little longer,” he whispered.
Her whole body shuddered with the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, and she let go, soaking his shirt, her body heaving with sobs.
Gord’s grasp lightened. “She’ll be all right. She just needs to stop worrying about making sure everyone else isn’t worrying,” he said to someone who walked up behind them.
Another hand grasped her arm and gently turned her as Gord stepped away. “Kayla,” Thane’s voice said softly, “Sweetheart, please let me take you home with me tonight. You need to sleep, and I can see you haven’t been.”
She obviously hadn’t emptied the pond, because her tears continued to splash from her eyes. Thane held her against his strength, and she hung onto him because she simply had nothing else. His warmth gave her the few seconds respite she needed. “I’ll be fi—,” the words catching in her throat. “I’m sorry, Commander, I’ll get it together.”
She tried to step away, but he held her tighter and rested his cheek against her head. “I know you will be—in my arms. You have every right to hate me, but you don’t understand. I’ll always protect you, Kayla, because I—”
“Commander, I have some paperwork for you to sign before the end of the day,” Karen said, stepping into view.
Kayla quickly turned her head away from the young girl, embarrassment washing through her.
“Oh! Poor Kayla. It can’t be easy dealing with the thought someone’s going to kill you, and he’s never missed yet.”
“Miss Harrison,” the Commander’s voice rumbled like two tectonic plates coming together. “Put the paperwork on my desk, and then clear out yours. Your position here is terminated.”
“What?” she squawked. “Commander, I—”
“Gord, call security have them escort Miss Harrison from the base.”
“Yes, sir.”
The quick click of Miss Harrison’s heels left them, but not before she muttered, “Arrogant bastard. What does he want with a bitch like her?”
Thane’s chest muscles flexed and she tightened her grip.
“Come on, we’re going home.” He reached down and picked up her bag, giving Gord a quick nod. “She’ll be safe, and—” He paused. “I’m not a bad cook. She’s been making my team fat all week. Now it’s her turn.”
Gord planted one on her cheek. “Love ya, Kayla, be good.”
She nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes as the Commander kept his arm around her and led her from the center. He paused in the door to his office. “We’re heading home, Red. Kayla’s had enough, I want her to rest.”
Captain Redding crossed the room with a sympathetic smile on his lips. “He’ll take good care of you, Kayla. I wouldn’t trust my best girl with just anyone.”
Her tears found a completely new reservoir when the captain squeezed her tightly in an all-encompassing, protective hug, like a real father would.
The Captain rubbed his thumbs across her cheeks and gave the Commander a worried glance. “Ghost, I need to talk to you.”
Thane followed him into the office, and the Captain gave her a wink. “I’ll give him back in a second,” then closed the door. She headed for the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face.
* * * *
“What’s going on, Red?”
Red let out a long breath. “Listen, I just took a call while you were in the ops room. HQ wants your squad out in the field. A woman who’s been working for us in Panama was keeping tabs on Chico Lemas. She’s disappeared, and they’re pretty sure he’s got her. You remember him?”
“Yeah. We should have buried the fucking guy years ago.”
“Well, he’s switched from just drug running to supporting a cell planted in Panama City. He’s providing them with money, a lot of it.”
He glanced at the floor, his jaw tightening. “I’ll send Team Three.”
Red’s eyes widened with surprise. “They want your team. The extraction is going to be hot and heavy. She’s being held in the jungle fifty clicks from the city. There’s plenty of reinforcements and sympathet
ics who’ll help, just to kill off a few Americans.”
“Team Three has good men,” he said stiffly, but wavering at the same time.
“You’re not listening, Ghost. They want you to lead the mission.”
He raised his eyes to meet Red’s and bit down hard with indecision. “When do they want us to deploy?”
Red crossed his arms. “Tonight.”
He closed his eyes, the warrior speaking louder in his head. It held more ground, simply because it had been in him longer.
Red shook his head. “You’re the only Commander who goes in with his team. They’re desperate for what this woman knows, but I need you to hear the goddamn truth for a change.”
Red hadn’t spoken to him like this for twenty years. Suddenly he was the young seaman again, and Red the man he respected and modeled his entire life after.
“Thane, you’ve given every fucking ounce of your life to the service, and for some reason you’re not at the foot of a headstone.” He tilted his head and said, “Every man needs to feel what you’re feeling right now, once in his life. And if you’re smart you’ll never let it go.” His eyes narrowed. “Tell them to go fuck themselves.”
Of all the words he imagined hearing from his old mentor, those weren’t it. “I’ll send Three,” he said, without another second of doubt.
Red nodded slowly, and then an enormous grin cracked open on his face. He reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “The flowers were a nice touch, son, but you’re gonna have to work harder than that with her, you know that?”
A laugh rolled from his chest. Red walked across the room, the limp showing up today more than it normally did. They were all getting older.
“It’s not too late, you know,” he said, plunking down in his chair. “You and Kayla would make beautiful babies, and I wouldn’t mind being called Uncle Red.”
His brow wrinkled with humor. “Getting a little ahead of yourself there, Red.”
The Captain’s brow crooked high on his forehead as he leaned over his desk. “Am I?”
Code Name: Ghost Page 33