"He could just be a teenager falling in love, and looking forward to the future. Not secluded to some hidden away perversion of the world." Jasper gazed at Meghan. "Colin didn't ask for this power. It was forced on him. I think I can speak for him and say he'd take the out, if offered. But he has the right to choose. It is his life." Jasper drew inward for a moment. "He's too young to understand the long-term effects. I'm in the open until this war is won or lost, but when it's done, I can't stay. It's already becoming—difficult for me. If Colin survives all of this and still remains a Projector, he'll have to go into at least partial seclusion, like me. Maybe even with me. We still have a lot of training we never got around to finishing."
"But if Colin decides to keep his powers, and we can't find a way to take out my father, and you take the power into yourself, Jasper—you won't be around to help him."
"Sorry," said Robert. "I never said it was a pretty solution."
"But it is one." Jasper offered kindly. "Perhaps we'll luck out and find some other way to take out Fazendiin without using this harebrained idea. But it's going to be damn hard."
Robert didn't look hopeful. Neither did Jasper. Or Meghan.
"Now, as for this other thing you guys were talking about when I so joyously interrupted," started Robert. "I wholeheartedly agree. Give Colby a break. Let the kid have a clean start. You can name a school after me or some such nonsense."
Meghan shook her head with a laugh, and gave him a genuine smile of thanks.
"I hope it’s not too late for him," Jasper whispered.
"It's not. I won't let it be. It's going to take time. A lot of time. He's like a sixteen-year-old going on sixty, but also taking his first steps in the world—the real world. He's raw and vulnerable and needs to be rebuilt. But he's also not alone. And I'm not going to let him fail. I owe him that, and not just as his sister, or his twin." Her voice reeked of guilt.
"The problem with prophecies," Jasper attempted to make light. "Someone always has to lose. And even when gifted with great sight, none of us can see all. We simply do the very best we can with the knowledge we have at the time."
"Ugh, you are so right about that. But I'm going to make certain it's not Colby who loses this time."
"If he's got you in his corner, Red, he'll be just fine."
"Thank you, Robert. For everything." Heck, that sounded pathetic. How did you thank someone for sacrificing themselves, and so much more?
Robert cast them each a loving glance and then laughed heartily. "You did me a favor! I'm not the one who has to live through whatever future you're about to create."
Meghan's eyes opened wide with a, he has a point, waggle.
Jasper stepped over to him. "Whatever the outcome here, I do hope that somehow, at some point in the ever-distant future, we get to meet again. If I ever do join the afterlife…"
"Let's hope far, far into the future, old friend. And it looks like I'm about to find out what the afterlife is." And he was eager and ready. "I wish you all the very best. It's been a long road. I hope we did enough. Alas, my job in all of this is done." He smiled and took a ghostly bow, dematerializing and leaving Meghan and Jasper alone.
"What if it isn't enough?" The despair escaped Meghan without her meaning it to.
"A fear we can't give into," warned Jasper gently. But a very real one, nonetheless. They had no idea what surprises Fazendiin might have up his magical sleeves. Some big thing they didn't know about, even with all they'd gone through and all they'd managed to discover.
Which is why Robert's insane gift wasn't so insane in the end. It was a solid backup plan. A safety net. A possible way to win if all else failed. Maybe even something Colin would want… Meghan still felt weird about it. If she got the chance, she'd talk to him.
And that's when it started back up again—the internal countdown to doom.
CHAPTER 34
Colby awakened in a heightened state of panic and confusion.
He bolted upward, sweat breaking on his brow. It took a few seconds to realize where he was—the wagon—in Grimble. Not locked in a dark cell in his father's estate. It was only a dream. Not real. It sure as hell had felt real.
But last night had happened, right? That was real, wasn't it? He'd had a breakdown and… he peered around himself. He was alone. In bed, and alone. No Elisha curled up by his feet. No Jae lying next to him. No voices outside the wagon. Light filtered inside the small window in the door so it must be daytime now.
But where was everyone?
Where had Jae gone?
Where was Elisha?
Why was he alone?
The sense that he'd only dreamed last night had happened, got his heart worked up and had him gasping to get enough air into his lungs. He stumbled out of bed and over to the door, swung it open and—"Hey." Jae, at the bottom of the stairs. His surprised smile dropped, feet scurrying up the stairs where he gently pushed Colby back inside. "What happened?"
"I—I—I—" Colby shook his head, gnawed on his bottom lip, and plunked onto the bed in a humiliated lump.
Jae kneeled down in front of him and lifted his chin to see his eyes. "Nature called," he explained. "Elisha needed to go out. Me too, for that matter. I whispered it to you. You were sleeping so soundly when I went out and I didn't want to wake you up. I should have. I'm sorry."
Colby groaned, disappointed in himself. No, strike that, more like mortified. He let his head fall into his hands to cover the shame reddening his skin.
"It's my fault," Jae insisted. "I should have woken you up. I shouldn't have left you alone. I'm so sorry, Colby."
He didn't reply, just groaned again, in what Jae saw as complete self-deprecation.
Colby wanted to hide under the covers, like he was some little kid hiding from some terrible thing that frightened him. How was he supposed to live like this? But a few seconds later he was back in bed with his head resting against Jae's chest. A few breaths lying like this had him at ease again, but still reeling in how he was supposed to survive when all he could manage to do was panic at the first sign of trouble.
He sniffled.
Seriously? Crying again!
Jae wasn't sure what to say. But he could hear the silent scolding Colby was giving himself. This was so far over his head… helping someone who'd gone through total hell. So he just wrapped his arms around him and pulled him up so he could see his face.
"Is this what I do now? Cry, like a blubbering baby? I'm such a needy mess."
Jae forced Colby to look at him. "If it helps, you're a beautiful mess."
Colby rolled his eyes and leaned up a little. "I guess I panicked. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry. But talk to me about it. What happened? Is it that you woke up and were alone?"
"Um, partly. But I woke up already in a panic—bad dreams. I woke up confused, disoriented. Worried it was all—that last night hadn't happened. That I was still with my father. I guess it keeps coming back to that."
"All understandable."
"And it scares the hell out of me," Colby admitted, his gaze landing on the front door of the wagon. "Because I think, whether I want to or not, I'm going to have to face him. And I'm going to have to leave here at some point, without you. Or you, without me. And I don't know how I'm going to do that." In his current state of mind that was going to be the hardest thing ever. Maybe even impossible.
Jae let out a throaty sigh. "That frightens me too." Because the reality was, even if Colby decided not to see his father ever again, Jae still had to face his own future. It was that, or they stayed on the run, forever.
"I have to go back," Colby's voice lowered some. "I don't want to, but—don't I have to face my father?" Reality. Rearing its scary, ugly head. "Or maybe I don't. Maybe I shouldn't. I don't even know if I can use magic anymore. It might not work right. I'm so—messed up."
"Give it some time. No need to hurry."
"Is that true though? From what I saw when I was locked in my sister's mind last night, her plans are m
oving forward. And I have—no idea where I belong in all of this."
"Maybe you don't. Like I said, living the life you choose is strength. Not living up to anyone else's expectations. That's how we both got here to begin with," Jae reminded somberly. "Well, you weren't really given any choice."
"And what is it you want, Jae?" Colby lifted himself so he faced him. "What life do you want? With me, on the run? That's no life for you. You have a family. Your sister. Friends."
"And an owner. If I go back… being on the run isn't an ideal life, but it might be my only choice if I want to remain free. But you can't stay with me just because of that, either, Colby. If you choose to go back, that's okay too."
Colby dropped himself back down, reclaiming the space on Jae's chest.
"We're quite the pair, aren't we? Damned if we run away, damned if we go home. If there was a way for you to go home, though, would you?"
"I don't even know how to answer that, because I see no way unless I want to live under Juliska's rule. Or figure out some way to—kill her," he choked out. "I guess there's no going back for me because I don't think I can do that. Even after everything…"
Colby lifted himself again.
"What if—what if I could find a way?"
Jae reached out and cupped Colby's face, defiance darkening his eyes. "Not if it means staying with your father. Or making some deal with him. I won't let you try to save me at your own expense. You have to promise me you won't do that."
The watery rims of Colby's eyes took on what Jae felt certain was undeserved reverence.
"I don't know how to react when you do that."
"Do what?"
"Care. About me. You could so easily use this to your advantage. You could use me to free yourself, because of my father and Juliska's relationship." Jae opened his mouth to deny adamantly that he'd ever do any such thing, when Colby shushed him. "I know you wouldn't. That's why I don't know how to react, because everyone I've ever known always wanted something from me. Even my grandmother, mother, and sister, even though their purposes meant well… my life's been one long strain of what can you do, for me? You haven't exactly had it easy either."
"No. But I made my choices. And I'll find some way to live with them. You have to promise me, Colby, whatever you do, do it for yourself. Not for me. Not for anyone."
Colby nodded that he accepted those terms, but the layers of agony were starting to build again. He let out a long sigh. Apparently, one long night of sobbing yourself into oblivion wasn't quite enough to solve all of his problems. But it was like waking up with a clean slate. A new lease on the days to come. Just minus a way to find the right path to get there.
Jae scrubbed his face and inched his way to the edge of the bed. He handed Colby his shoes, jacking his feet into his own.
"I'm going to scour the other wagons, round us up some breakfast." His stomach rumbled on queue. Colby didn't say anything and bit back a mortified sigh in that he didn't want to admit he'd prefer not to let Jae out of his sight. But Jae solved the issue for him by handing him his boots. "Come with me." Not a question, but a gentle order as if Jae could read his mind.
"Am I an open book?" Colby's chest sank inward.
"I'd like the company," Jae claimed. He grabbed Colby's hand when he started to slide back on the bed as if ready to crawl under the covers and hide. He pulled him up off the bed and into his arms. "Is it already time to prove my existence again?"
Colby let his head fall onto his shoulder with a groan. "Am I always going to feel like this? Like I can barely breathe on my own, never mind anything else."
"I don't think it will last forever. But how about we start with breakfast?" Rather than let go of him, Jae kept hold of Colby's hand and they headed out of the wagon where Elisha greeted them. She yawned her way into a stretch before sauntering over to the young men.
Jae sniffed into the air.
Food, from close by. Another of the wagons.
"Katana?" Colby questioned. They'd sort of put her out of their minds in the chaos of the previous night.
"I forgot!" Elisha meowed out. "I found her while I was out hunting last night. She'd gotten lost in the woods and that vile ghost, Duppy, was trying to bribe her. Disgusting excuse for a ghost, he is."
"What do you mean?" asked Jae.
"He was willing to show her how to get back to the wagons, but only if she stole some things from you in return."
They didn't need to ask what things.
The Book of Doorways. The Magicante. The Bone Dagger.
"She didn't take him up on that," Jae brittled out, a bit shocked.
"No. She did not. She was quite adamant that she'd prefer to stay lost."
"Huh." Jae glanced at Colby. He wasn't sure what to make of it either.
A wagon door swung open and Katana stepped into the frame.
"Mornin' boys. I hope you worked up an appetite because I made breakfast." They headed over to her wagon where she greeted them on the steps. "Do not expect this every morning," she warned smugly as they climbed inside.
They laughed at that.
"We won't," said Jae. "But, um, thanks."
"It um—well, it's to say thanks to Elisha for saving me in the woods last night. And well, um, it kind of seemed like you guys had a bad night. So…" She shrugged it off, not actually wanting to talk about it, or thinking they wanted to either. And they happily ignored the subject.
Colby and Jae ate heartily. Neither recalling a time when they'd been so ravenously hungry.
Katana spent more time laughing at them than eating.
If she couldn't win them over with her girlish charms, then she'd kill them with kindness.
Good thing none of them could read her mind.
CHAPTER 35
The funerals were somber and brutal.
It had taken part of the previous night and all day to prepare.
So many fallen Svoda… fallen long before their actual deaths. Dead, really, since the day they'd sold their souls to Juliska Blackwell and become her army of Scratchers. But before that, they'd been valued members of the Svoda. Someone's brother, sister, mother, father, friend, someone's child…
And it was a forever emblazoned memory of what had been lost—more like stolen—from them all. Sided with a stark reminder of what they needed to make sure never happened again.
Flames from the pyres lit up the night sky. One by one until there was just a single funeral left, and although some stuck around, many had left. The brunt of it all becoming too much. And their feelings for this woman, torn.
Juliska Blackwell.
Dead Queen.
Her life ended by her own hands in effort to save her son. And suffer some small measure of redemption.
Most would never get past what she'd become. And most believed, with good reason, they shouldn't. But it was not so easy for those who'd known her, before…
Once a friend, to those who remained to say a final farewell—Arnon, Kanda, and her brother, Nashua, plus Milo and Kay Jendaya. All but Kay had joined Juliska on that fateful quest that had changed everything.
And the entire time, Nashua's intense stare too often lingered on Colin. The Tunkapog leader was a hard man to like. And read. His intentions, unclear.
Juliska was also sister to the living members of the Cobb family. The eldest brother, Alex. Now a middle-aged father. The twins, Anna and Adam, now in their thirties and no longer the teasing, fun loving, troublemakers. And although estranged for many years from their sister, and also suffering the loss of their other sister, Amelia, they stayed for the funeral. Choosing to remember the woman and sister Juliska once was. It was overheard between Alex and his twin siblings, if only Juliska had never gone on that quest. It had changed everything. The Cobb family had lost a lot in this nightmare. More so than many families.
And then it came to Juliska's long kept secret—she was a mother, to Colin. Who had been distant and somber, numb almost, at least in Meghan's perspective. He was no different even no
w. Even with Catrina accompanying him, he was not fully present. Looking as though he wanted to stay, but run away all at the same time.
No one spoke any words of farewell. Or remembrance. Their thoughts and memories all held inwardly. The many lives of Juliska Blackwell. Now gone with her, leaving behind a mess that would take time to clean up.
Meghan almost forgot to breathe until Sebastien squeezed his arm around her waist and she came to life with a forced smile. Nona, as usual, wound her way around Meghan's feet while Ivan soaked up the space on her other side. And to all their surprise, Isabella, Aloyna, and Jasper all attended. Jasper, most likely, to make sure Colin didn't have another meltdown.
Looking at him in his current state, it didn't seem possible. Not tonight at least. In some ways, Colin barely looked alive. And when it was nearly finished, the flames lessening in intensity, he wordlessly just left—Catrina with him, and Jasper not far behind. And slowly, they all left until it was only Meghan, Sebastien, and Ivan remaining.
She was half-expecting that being around the flames all night, she'd be sucked into vision after vision, but it hadn't happened. A relief, in part. But there was also a desperation for some insight into the future. Something to tell her which direction to go, what to do. How exactly to take her father out of power and destroy the Stone, without losing anyone else in the process.
Without realizing it, Meghan's feet moved on their own accord and her two male shadows twisted solemnly, to follow. Her hand unknowingly clung to the locket hanging over her heart—the one with two roses and sharp thorns. The locket that had belonged to her mother.
After a few steps, the crackling of the fire ceased. The wisp of breeze tickling the leaves subsided. The light crunch of their footsteps went silent. It took a moment for Meghan to register the sudden silence and pick up her head to see that the world around her had stopped. And peering down at her hand, there was a trickle of blood on the side of her finger. She'd managed to prick herself on one of the thorns. She'd been so deep in her own thoughts she hadn't even felt the sting of it.
The Queen, The Mirror, and The Creation (Fated Chronicles Book 5) Page 24