In her heart, she hoped for a chance at so much more for her son. For herself. For them all.
When Scott ran to the lane to throw his first ball down the alley, Cole came to sit beside her. Close beside her...in the row of molded plastic seats that couldn’t be moved or even shifted.
She refused to back away, as she had at the corral yesterday.
She pretended to watch Scott, yet she couldn’t focus on anything but the man beside her. Her senses seemed hyperfocused on everything about him. The sight of his sturdy hand and strong, tanned forearm contrasting with the crisp, white fabric of the Western shirt he had rolled up almost to his elbow. The touch of his sleeve and the heat beneath it against her shoulder. The heady scent of his aftershave. The sound of his laugh... That same laugh that had sent her skittering away from him. That low, deep, sexy laugh that made her pulse pound.
She missed only the sense of taste—and she would go on missing it, too. Tasting Cole wasn’t on the Lucky Strike’s menu.
Robbie’s first ball went straight for the gutter. His crushed expression broke her heart. Then Cole went to stand beside her son—their son—and her heart developed another crack. He put his hand over Robbie’s to help steady his arm for his next roll. The ball made its exceedingly erratic way down the lane. In excruciatingly slow motion, eight pins fell. Robbie gave a happy shriek and threw his arms around Cole’s waist, and her heart crumbled to bits.
In her turn at the lane, she rolled a strike. All three kids cheered and held their hands in the air. Laughing, she went down the line, giving them double high fives.
Cole had risen to take his turn next. When he raised his palm, she hesitated for only a moment, then high-fived him. He caught her fingers and squeezed lightly.
“The guys brought a ringer in, huh?” he asked. He smiled at her. “Game on, lady.”
Shaking her head, she went back to her seat.
She hadn’t come here tonight to compete with him.
Cole bowled a strike, ran the gauntlet of hands on his way back, and gave her another high five that left her palm warm and tingling. Wanting to hold onto the feeling, she curled her fingers into a fist in her lap.
As he dropped into the seat next to hers again, he draped his arm across the back of her chair. When he had wrapped his arm around her at the Hitching Post, both his touch and his warmth made her want to lean into him...just as she fought against doing now.
After swallowing hard, she said, “At least you’re being a good sport.”
“Not like I had a choice about all this,” he muttered. He made a gesture that took in the kids, the lanes and the Lucky Strike.
When she had come downstairs to meet him tonight, he had been waiting for her in the sitting room. As she entered the room, Rachel and the boys had swarmed past her, roughhousing and ready for a night at the bowling alley, thanks to the discussion she had just had with them in the dining room.
All because she had come to her senses about the idea of a night on the town alone with Cole. Much as she wanted to be with him, she had to think about what was best for Robbie.
Cole sat glowering at her, but his expression didn’t fool her. He had paid attention to her all through dinner, smiling at her as he joked with the kids, drawing her into the conversation when she grew quiet, holding such steady eye contact with her at times that they might have been the only two people in the room.
She might have been special to him.
His interest fanned her hopes of finally getting closer to what she’d always dreamed of having. Cole and a family. But she couldn’t let herself fall for those hopes or believe in those dreams.
Once again, pride shot through her. “You did ask for all this, you know. And you deserve it, for twisting my arm to get me to agree to come out with you.” Still, a tiny twinge of guilt ran through her. “But you didn’t invite the kids along. I did. I’m happy to pay—”
He leaned closer.
She clutched her hands in her lap.
“You can expect to pay for this, all right.” With one finger, he traced a path along her chin, not touching her lips but close enough to make them tingle. “And don’t worry about needing your calculator. I won’t look for reimbursement in cash.”
* * *
ON THE RIDE HOME, Tina managed to force half her mind to focus on the kids’ chatter and fought with the other half to keep it from straying to Cole.
She gave up altogether on trying to control her body.
From nerves, she had licked her lips so often, they felt dry, leaving her craving another drink of sweet tea. Or a taste of something she might enjoy even more...
Despite the caution she’d given herself, anticipation raced through her. Though they rode the final miles to the ranch along flat, unpaved road, when Cole pulled into the parking area behind the Hitching Post, she felt as if they had just taken a roller-coaster ride.
She glanced over at the back porch. In the kitchen doorway, Jed stood as though he’d been on sentry duty waiting for them to return.
Cole came around to her side of the truck to open her door, just as he had done outside the Bowl-a-Rama. The gesture touched her this time, too.
Then she saw he hadn’t backed away.
He stood only an arm’s length from her, making it impossible for her to exit the truck without brushing up against him. Well, if he still wanted to play games...
“’Bout time you brought those kids home again,” Jed called. “Get in here, you rascals, you’re about to miss out on the popcorn.”
Cole stepped back.
Ignoring her surge of disappointment, she climbed down and moved aside.
After they left the bowling alley, they had dropped Scott off at Layne’s new apartment. Now Rachel and Robbie tumbled from the backseat of the truck, nearly knocking her over in their dash to the porch.
“Kids,” Cole muttered.
“Gotta love ’em,” she said.
“Not tonight. I’m off duty as of now, at least until tomorrow.”
She heard the relief in his voice. In the space of a day, he spent such limited time with the kids. How would he ever handle being a full-time daddy?
When she moved, intending to pass him, he leaned one shoulder against the truck and crossed his arms, settling in. “Going somewhere?” he murmured.
She looked beyond him toward the hotel. Jed and the kids had gone, leaving the porch empty and the back door securely closed. Long habit must have made Jed turn out the porch light.
They stood in darkness except for the low lamps lining the walkway and the soft glow of a cloud-covered moon.
“Enjoy yourself tonight?” he asked.
“Yes, actually. The kids all had fun. So did I.”
“Yeah, I could see being with them was right up your alley.”
A nervous giggle escaped her. “That was an awful pun.”
“I could stop talking.”
She swallowed. “You seemed to enjoy yourself, too. It’s a shame you don’t get to see Scott more often. You don’t know him very well, do you?”
“I’m getting to know all the kids around here now.” He shook his head. “But no, I don’t know Scott well. After Layne’s first divorce, she would come my way for a weekend once in a while. I saw him a few times then, but he was just a baby. Once she remarried, those trips came to an end. Terry tended to keep them close to home.”
Close to Cowboy Creek, the hometown Cole had avoided till recently.
“And now he’s made her leave their home?” she said.
He shrugged. “Technically, he asked her to move because he’s selling the house. The money from that will help her out. Provided he turns over her share. He’s not so hot at sticking to his promises,” he muttered. “But that’s what I’m here for.”
“That’s what big brothers are for,” she said, smiling.
“Yeah. Anyhow, she’ll manage.” He glanced away. “But she might not have the kind of happy ending you like.”
She swallowed a sigh. Afte
r all these years, he still knew her so well.
“You didn’t have a happy ending, either, did you?” She half turned from him and rested back against the truck. “I mean, with what you told me about getting left at the altar. You must still be dealing with the hurt.”
He shook his head. “It was a crazy notion, trying to get together when we barely knew each other. No hurt. No harm, no foul. I was only out the price of a ring.”
But you did try. How can you say you don’t believe in marriage?
Before she could find a way to ask the question, he glanced quickly toward the hotel, then back again.
His eyes shining, he looked down at her and said, “I’d walk you to the door to say good-night, but as I’m staying at the hotel, that’s my door over there, too. And I don’t know where your room is.”
“The family wing.” She blurted the words in relief. He wouldn’t attempt to walk her to that door, not when he knew how that would raise their chances of having an audience. Here, they were alone.
She still didn’t know how she felt about that.
One side of his mouth curled, carving a deep dimple into his cheek, as if he’d read her mind and found her thoughts amusing. “‘Family wing?’”
She nodded. “Down the hall, past Jed’s den and the kitchen. Jed and Abuela and Robbie all have their rooms down there, too.”
He didn’t respond.
She toyed with the end of her braid.
He looked down. “In all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you without your hair all tied up.”
The comment reminded her of Ally, who always urged her to let her hair loose, to wear bright colors. To lighten up and brighten up. To get a life. She reminded her best friend she preferred neutral colors and patterns that didn’t stand out. She told Cole now what she always ended up saying to Ally. “I’m a hotel bookkeeper-slash-waitress-slash-whatever-help-is-needed. The hairstyle is practical.”
As she lifted her braid, intending to slip it over her shoulder, Cole reached up to touch the woven strands.
Her breath caught in her throat.
Their gazes locked.
For a fleeting moment, they were teenagers in the back of his truck, stealing kisses and on the verge of making love... He had reached for her braid and begun to tug on the elastic at the end of it. Laughing, she had pushed his hands away and managed to distract him...
Now, he gave her a full smile that took her breath away. “I think it’s time for us both to stop talking.”
He ran his finger down her bare arm, raising a trail of goose bumps. Warning lights flashed in her brain. Too many negatives, too many reasons she shouldn’t be with him like this, too many memories proving why she shouldn’t let him get any nearer.
Including his claim he would never settle down.
Yet, no matter what he said about not caring he’d been left at the altar, his attempt proved he hadn’t always been against the idea of marriage.
That one thought gave her the strength to hang onto her dreams.
He leaned in, hovering close enough to send warmth from the whole long length of his body to cover her like an afghan. All her logic and reasoning and warnings failed her. Her thoughts disappeared under a rush of pure passion. And her schoolgirl crush gave way to very adult desires.
He ran his fingers up her arms. This time, goose bumps blended with ripples of pleasure until she couldn’t tell one from the next. All she knew for certain was that she had waited five years for this.
He cupped her face with his hands, brushed her cheekbones with his thumbs, and finally—finally—touched his mouth to hers. More sensations mingled and swept through her. The taste of peppermint candy... The warmth and weight of his mouth... The secret thrill of finding his here-and-now kiss even better than those from her memories.
Much, much better.
Chapter Twelve
“And, so? How did your evening go?”
At the kitchen table, Tina sat watching Abuela prepare her potato casserole for tomorrow’s breakfast. The question made her quickly raise her mug to cover her smile. Hot tea stung her lips, still tender from Cole’s kisses.
Who knew where the evening would have continued to go, if Robbie hadn’t run out to remind them Jed had made popcorn. Somehow, she hadn’t minded the interruption. Not when Cole had smiled and tousled Robbie’s hair. Not when Cole had laughed as her son—their son—took them both by the hand to lead them into the house.
“Everything went just fine,” she said. “The kids had a great time.”
“Ah...the kids.” The rasp of the potato against the ricer picked up speed. “And...?”
“I enjoyed myself, too.”
“I’m sure of that. And Cole?”
“He had a good time, too, I think.”
After watching her abuela work in this kitchen for so many years, she could follow every movement with her eyes closed.
White shreds flew into the stone bowl Abuela liked because it was large enough to hold all the shredded potatoes, covered with water to keep them overnight. In the morning, she would use her old wooden tortilla press to squeeze the potatoes dry.
Between her need to guard herself against Cole and her desire to be with him, she felt a bit pressed herself.
Abuela smiled. “He would visit me here in this kitchen sometimes, and sit right where you sit now.”
“He did?” Her voice rose in astonishment. What else had Abuela never told her? “When was this?”
“When you would do your homework upstairs in your attic room. On Fridays especially. After he came for his pay and sat talking with Jed, he would come and stay in the kitchen for a while. He liked my desserts.”
“He still does,” she confirmed with a laugh. “You saw him the other night. He almost wrestled Jane over the last serving of your flan. But you never told me about Cole coming into the kitchen.”
“Many times, I would make flan on Friday because I knew he would enjoy it.” Abuela smiled again. “Something about that boy I always liked.”
Her jolt of surprise almost made her spill the tea. “Really? You never told me that, either.”
“You didn’t need my encouragement, did you? I know why you would run to the barn after school every day.”
“Oh.” She took another, more cautious sip from her mug. “And you didn’t mind?”
Abuela laughed. “Only when you didn’t complete your chores.”
Tina debated her next question for so long, yet another large potato joined the shreds in the bowl. “Why didn’t you say something once you knew how I felt about Cole?”
Now, her abuela froze. “I had my secrets,” she said at last. “I didn’t want to pry into yours.”
“And when I got pregnant...did you realize the baby was his?”
“I couldn’t know. Not for sure.”
“But you suspected?”
“Yes.”
“And again, you didn’t say anything.”
Abuela set the potato and the ricer aside and turned to face her. The lines around her eyes seemed deeper, more pronounced.
Tina held her breath and waited.
After a moment, Abuela crossed the room and took a seat at the table. “From time to time, Cole talked about what he would do with his life and where he would go.
“Thom—your father—always talked about leaving the ranch, too. About leaving Cowboy Creek. And at last, he did. Your mother came to tell me she wanted to follow him. But my Emilia was already pregnant, and I pleaded with her to stay. For her sake and for yours. She listened...for a while.” She sighed. “Once you were born, she placed you into my arms, and then she was gone.”
Tina’s fingers trembled as she reached across the table.
Abuela took her hand and held it tightly. “They were good children, Emilia and Thom, with good hearts, but they were wild. And young. Too young to want to stay here, where they saw no future but a life working on the ranch or at the hotel. A life that Jed and I love. That you now love.” Her voice
broke.
Tina wanted to go to her, to hold her close, but Abuela reached out to cover their joined hands. “You were never like them, mi vida,” she said, “but when you told us you were having a baby, I was afraid you would leave Cowboy Creek, too, to search for Cole. And that, like your mother and father, you would never return.”
Tina swallowed hard. “I’m not planning to go anywhere. Ever.”
“I’ll be glad if that stays true. I will be even more glad if you and Cole find happiness.”
“It was only one date, Abuela. Please don’t get your hopes up.” A good reminder for them both.
“I always have high hopes. For you and for Robbie.” She sighed. “You know, if I found a way to change the past, I would go back to when you were born and tell Jed the truth.”
“If we could change the past, I would tell you and Abuelo, too.”
“And Cole?”
She looked down at Abuela’s hands, still wrapped firmly around hers. “I had my reasons for not telling him.”
“As I had with Jed. But, though Jed didn’t know you were his granddaughter, he did know you. He saw you every day. He helped me to raise you. Cole didn’t know about Robbie.”
Tina said nothing.
“Look at me, querida.”
She glanced up.
Abuela stared steadily at her. “When I look in your eyes, I see the same hurt I see in Cole’s.”
* * *
TINA GLANCED AROUND her office and shook her head. Her plan to distract herself by overhauling her filing system hadn’t worked at all, and now her office was a mess.
With a sigh, she began picking up folders and putting them back into the same file drawers she had taken them from.
Abuela’s words kept ringing in her head.
Cole’s face kept flashing in front of her eyes.
Her hands stayed busy with the files, but her mind traveled where it wanted. Unfortunately that wasn’t very far, just to the parking area outside the Hitching Post.
Cole’s good-night kiss had been only a tease, a taste, but it had made her think of the relationship they could have had...the relationship she had always longed for.
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