A clue to the fact that we are right. Something was up with our past or mothers or something. It made me wonder if somehow wandering ears are listening and holding the same fear I had. Double agents almost always double cross. We needed to be careful where we chose to talk and more importantly, what we say.
Saturday came and we were completely covered in fake spy gear and laser guns. The vest made me feel especially taller and quicker on my feet. The illusion continued when I posed with my gun and goggles allowing Calum to snap a picture of me. Maze giggled and copied me. We both wiggled our hips and set off into the black-lighted room of doom. For the boys that is!
Showing off my mad skills was an easy feat. Calum was most assuredly a Hunter in every way. I never once beat him, but “sneaky” was my middle name in most situations. I let him win the first but never made a comeback once I gave effort. It was humbling to know I have someone who challenges me. But any game with weapons and a supernaturalist who readily practiced weaponry since youth was a long battle.
Once, in the back section of the sweat scented warehouse-sized room, Calum and Lee both had me cornered in a hole. I kept to the shadows and slid around the wall without a sound. Calum announced in a sly voice, “I know you are there.”
I scooted down to a crouch and waited for both their heads to appear around the corner in a peek to see if their hunch was correct. It was dark, but I was able to make out the fallen face when he thought he’d been right about my position. After the two of them moved away, I took a long quiet breath and slinked away on my hands to a different spot. As soon as I was there, Maze popped into my face and whispered fiercely, “That was awesome. They just knew they had you.”
“You watched and they didn’t see you?”
“Oh, Stace. I’ve known for a long time now they watch your every little move. I’m just eye candy for the ride.”
I coughed up a response sending our two boys a location point and without a doubt in my head, gave them our whereabouts. Found!
ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ
Now at the library posing to Maze as avid researchers of nothing important I held my Pride and Prejudice in hand while Calum took a turn researching the constellations as he announced what he found. So far we’d arrived with what we already knew. The story of Orion and how Anat brought him to his doom was the only connection. That Orion fell in love with Anat and had him killed.
After more than an hour, we’d almost given up and I’d taken two turns when Lee announced from around the corner from us where he and Maze were at that he had to show us something. I’d heard her giggle twice as if she were at least reading a good joke or possibly having a good time.
“Come see this story guys. It’s great fun,” Lee laughed.
We both walked around and stood above the two of them looking rather cozy and close. Hmm! Good!
My hair needed to a wash and I can barely stand it in my face anymore. When I saw Maze still had her hair tie on her wrist I asked if I could have it. Maze squirmed in her seat and when she saw me and said, “Stace, do you ever not need me for the little details?” She handed me the tie and laughed at my obvious need for her. She was a great friend. I rolled my eyes enjoying the sidetracked moment as Lee stood up and let Maze navigate the mouse. Really tired, I couldn’t seem to get all of my hair up and Maze was wedged between the seat and the next cubicle so I looked to the boys for help with my hair. Lee and Calum were standing shoulder to shoulder beside me reading while I battled with my annoyance. Finally I gave up and held my hand out with the ponytail, “Okay boys, help a girl out. Who wants to do me?”
Stupefied, both boys just stared.
“Oh great one, Stace. Don’t answer that BOYS!” Maze offered choking. She practically pulled my hair out while putting it up. I refused to look back at them feeling stupid. It was a mistake I wouldn’t make again.
On the screen, Lee hurriedly pointed to the prophecy I knew all too well and scarily proved to be coming true. His face darkened in my direction but I didn’t look directly at him. He’d found where the prophecy had a more interesting fact that not even Kassie had found.
Daughter of the goddess Anat and son
of the great huntress Queen Euryale of the
Amazons shall bond the charms of all into one.
When the bond was made with Neptune the sea god,
the great Hunter, Orion came to earth ending the great fast.
His hunger will be fulfilled when the two suns create one.
I’d already considered the idea of Anat having some bearing on my mother’s death, but did this other have to do with…Calum? And there seemed to be a lot of goddess and god stuff. If it is true, and we are somehow possible descendants of these Greek and Roman legends, then why do so many names seem to pop up? And the sun part. I have always thought it to be the sun surrounding my navel, but it sounds like Calum, the Orion takes part and then...doesn’t.
Anat seems to pop up a lot. I’d never told anyone about reading the letters I found once in my father’s library. I still wouldn’t. They seemed like a fairy tale that somehow just included my name. But my name means more than I’d been led to believe. And to find all this and confirm a connection to Calum? Maybe, just maybe there’s more to it.
Maze was a little confused as to why we all found this story fascinating, but the three of us knew something was happening way beyond our means. As if we really needed to build any other tension Maze felt the need to add, “If you’ll excuse me I need my beauty sleep. You three can duke it out for rutting rights and let me know.”
I couldn’t believe her audacity to speak this way and rile them up. I was at a loss for words. Worse, I understood the vulgarity of the lingo.
Lee said, “I’m going to print the whole story. I’ll read it later. Let’s get out of here and get something to eat.” Real reason. Talk freely later and avoid each other at all costs.
ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ
At the restaurant, I realized why Maze couldn’t fit completely with us tonight. And why Lee was more separated from the group as a whole. She doesn’t and can’t know our secrets. And that alone, was tearing him apart. Not because of Maze, simply because he was left alone and we had each other. That wasn’t fair! But if I know Maze, she would have a comeback comment tonight to jumpstart these two boy’s hormones. Again.
“Don’t eat the burger labeled “best in town” boys?” Maze suggested.
“Why?” I had to ask.
“Because it’s rutting season and you’re prime rib on the menu.” She looked at me and wagged her eyes up and down. I gave Maze the facial expression equivalent of a very popular hand gesture.
Calum saw me watch Lee for the next few minutes. He knew what I was thinking as I looked from him to Maze. Someone could have misconstrued my intentions, but Calum saw inside my head for once. Lee was alone, yet he was helping us without any gain in this game we are playing.
I excused myself for the restroom. Lee was by the little diner’s old jukebox punching buttons when I came back out around the corner.
“You can’t tell her and therefore you keep your distance.”
He nodded slightly. I looked over my shoulder at Calum and Maze watching our exchange.
“Why are you helping me…us?”
“You already know that answer,” he looked to my eyes for clarity.
“No! What other reason. You know that will never happen, so what other reason?”
“I let you down once, Anastacia. And I have to believe that I can mend that mistake, but more importantly, I believe something bigger is going on here whether you, or,” he motioned to Calum but didn’t say his name, “want to admit it or not.”
I watched him intently now.
“And I will see it through. Alone if I have too!”
He left me standing there staring after seeing the click of his fingers punch the button on the jukebox.
As I walked back following a good fifteen seconds later, I stopped cold when I heard the song playing. My whole
life felt like one big picture on a wall, and I’m watching from the outside and not able to have an effect on my own course. And without a doubt, my mind wandered to the stars. Enemies among friends. Scorpio tries to kill its enemies, friends, anything in its way. Legend says that’s why Scorpio is on other side of the sky not able to alter his own course.
No promises.
No promises.
No demands.
Love is a battlefield!
I made my sidestep pick up again realizing too late that Lee had seen my little clumsy moment of realization. Dang! Not only did he know I was a huge Pat Benatar fan, he picked that song for a reason. I used to joke about going into some great battle and giving him a play by play of how I’d defeat my enemy. He’d seen me dance step that song all the way through replacing the words with how I would conquer the world. He’d laugh and sing the parts of my favorite song inserting them into the appropriate sequences in my parody’s fantasy battle as we sparred. My music would be blaring it as we battle danced to the music.
But tonight, his motive was different. He was sending a message.
Believe me.
Believe me.
I can’t tell you why
But I’m trapped by your love
And I’m chained to your side.
We are strong
No one can tell us we’re wrong.
I watched the ground as I walked, but Lee knew his message made it through the invisible wire tied from the jukebox to the booth all four of us were seated at in the little diner. I think at this point Calum saw my barely there dance moves across the diner. His look of concern caught my eye as I slid in next to him. I never once looked at Lee. I was too worried it would confirm a message received look.
He had to let this go. Maybe he was just telling me why he kept his distance from Maze. She couldn’t know what I know.
I managed a fake smile and joined the conversation that Maze was having mostly with herself. She was the only one who didn’t, or couldn’t, read between the diner’s invisible lines of communication.
I wondered if Calum would ask me later. Lee helped me out with that dilemma when the song ended.
“Stace, go put in another one of those horrendous songs of yours. The ones you quote all the time and think others don’t know where your wisdom comes from.”
Calum and Maze were lost. I stared blankly at Lee.
“OH, don’t give me that. My mom used to force me to listen the 1980’s music. She was obsessed with all those rock star types. Let them in on your obsession.”
I glared evilly. I should have heard the music part of the comment, but I heard the mom part of where she used to do something in his life. I never had that. I looked at Calum. He hadn’t either. But even more, he was revealing something that wasn’t his to reveal.
“You caught that, did you?” I seethed at his telling of private thoughts just so he could show he knew them.
He looked sideways at Calum to assure his personal note in my life, “Benatar songs seem to top her list in the advice column. Turns on her inner music box.”
I was hurt. He revealed a side of me that was only for me. I didn’t even realize he’d ever made the connection so long ago.
Maze mumbled, “Here goes the rut fest. Fellas, antlers ready.”
“Fine. Stupid junkbox.” I ignored Maze and bolted up and headed over to the clunky old thing. Yes, I said junkbox just hoping to piss him off.
Calum followed me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes!” I snapped.
“Obviously NOT!” his hands flew up then pointedly jostling me by the shoulders.
I tensed standing in front of the musical “advice” box, searching for a song I already knew I wanted. Calum wouldn’t give up.
He waited.
And waited.
I found the one I wanted, punched it, and turned right into Calum bumping shoes and more of our bodies than expected. Current shot out everywhere across the length of me. He caught my arm as I shuddered. More current, twice as strong. That calmed me believe or not.
“He knows more about me than I’d like to believe. I didn’t know he was aware of my music “therapy” as I call it. It helps me get through things. He used it to get at me, not give me comfort.”
His eyes narrowed at Lee giving him a new message. “It’s okay.”
“You bet. I just sent a message back.” I smiled my famous bogus smile usually only meant for my enemies. “Loud and clear.”
If he was paying that close attention to me back then, then he knew who I usually reserved this song for in life.
All fired up
Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line
We live an’ learn from our mistakes
All fired up, fired up, fired up
The deepest cuts are healed by faith
Now I believe there comes a time
When everything just falls in line…
I stared daggers into Lee as I walked back. Calum insisted on holding my hand, so the extreme effect I wanted was coming out calmer than I wanted as we slid back in yet Lee knew what I sent his way and I intended to make sure.
“There comes a time when everything just falls in line,” I sang low with the lyrics.
I knew not what lay before me in life but I knew for a fact that Calum was important somehow. I was reminded now by the thunderous after effects of his lightening touch and wondered if he were the one meant for something bigger than both of us could fathom. And did it include me? As time moved on, I felt closer to him than anyone I’d have been able to talk to or get to know. I knew he is always going to be a great friend.
I sighed and leaned in closer to him. He looked at me as though I have something on my face.
Calum was quick for dang sure. He caught the message. “I fell in line with you the day you showed up. Before that, I was offline.” He grinned a message I absolutely loved and melted with every time, but couldn't return. I felt some of the same in the sense that he would forever be important in my life.
We stared at each other. I wondered why men move their lips slowly? I watched Maze when she talked. Her lips moved faster.
“Eh, um!”
I shifted reluctantly to Maze silently grunting at the attempt to turn my attention away from my guessing games, “What?” I’d said it a little more gruffly than meant to.
“Well, I’m just reminding you of the O word, dear.”
“He was too,” I said in my best child’s voice. And besides, I was just wondering why men talk slower than us, not ogling.
“Factual, but nonetheless, uncomfortable for others.”
I didn’t bother checking in on Lee’s reaction. I was starting to not care since they misread all my intentions.
When we were safe back in our own dorms that night, Maze cornered me outside the bathroom.
“So what’s up with you and Lee?”
I forced her to follow me back to my room. I certainly didn’t want anyone to think I had a thing for Lee.
Safely inside, I used the thirty seconds I’d had to come up with a really great story and decided a “half truth” might sound better and more easily maintained.
“Lee and I knew each other before I came here.”
Her eyebrows rose higher than possible with a sincere look of “you better tell me more".
“We were tutored together for about two years before he came to school here.”
“And?”
“And, nothing. We were fourteen. We were young and dumb and “flirted” as you say and then he left. Came here!”
“So why does he get so puffy around you?”
“What do you mean?”
“He says crazy stuff, glares at the two of you, and changes his mood just like that. I don’t remember him ever acting that way until a few weeks ago.”
“Well, then maybe you can help me out with that.” I had an idea.
“What clever girl, are you insinuating? I “flirt” with him
and torture myself?”
“Nooo! I mean, he’s just thinking back to a schoolgirl crush. He’s just mad about it. I think he has a lot on his mind lately and needs something to take his mind of things.”
“Say no more. Mama Maze will take care of everything.”
ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ ℓ
The next week flew by. The only new development had nothing to do with me or Calum.
Tuesday night sneak out proved interesting and became the talk of the school. Calum and I were old news.
The two of us showed up late for the bonfire snatching a private moment before joining the rest. My stomach in a fluttering mess like always near the woods, I held on to Calum for dear life. One day I would stop long enough to figure out what causes this fuzzy happy feeling. It’s not a bad feeling really, but sends all kinds of mixed signals into my body and brain that I don’t know quite how to deal with. It made me feel odd being near Calum. And I was noticing something different about myself. I could snatch a feeling of fear and anger as always. But I’d felt something else. I’d ignored it really with too much else to stress over. I think I felt other’s nervousness. Or anxiousness. Maybe even happiness too. I wasn't sure what to think yet.
We rounded the tree line that hid the party when both of us stopped abruptly. Both of us innocently watched for longer than we should, but shock can do that.
Lee and Maze were playing tonsil hockey for all to see. Derrick came up behind Calum punching an arm and eyed the spectacle.
“Hee, ahh! Look at that!” he said rather loudly.
The two broke apart, acknowledging our presence. She’d taken care of it, all right. Lee didn’t look at me AT ALL.
“Well, seems you two have hit it off.” Calum announced his observation obviously elated at the attention drawn away from me.
Maze smiled, puffy lipped.
It happened again a few more times in the week at the library and after classes. I was happy for them. Right?
They just seemed, like, teenagers. But that was what I was too. Do the electric tingles, odd birthdays, absent moms, and birth marks have an impact on how Calum and I seem like we are so much more mature? I don’t know.
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