She believed in him.
Not that the realization changed anything.
Josh still intended to fulfill his granddad’s dying wish and find some peace for himself in the process. A promise was a promise, and he was close. One more week and two more recipes and he would be that much closer.
The kicker was, he didn’t feel close.
The realization hit him as he packed up the last of the painting supplies, said good-night to Holly and tried to forget the sincerity in her gaze. As he drove away, his hands itched and his gut twisted and his nerves buzzed.
He felt restless. Anxious. Dissatisfied.
And damned if it wasn’t getting worse by the minute.
11
HOLLY STOOD on her front porch early the next morning and watched the familiar red pickup truck barrel down the dirt road in front of her drive. The tires kicked up gravel. A cloud of dust dogged the old truck, the bed piled high with the day’s deliveries.
And yesterday’s.She still hadn’t received the three sacks of flour, twenty pounds of sugar and four cases of extralarge bakery boxes she’d ordered at the beginning of the week. It wasn’t the delivery itself—she could easily have her deliveries shipped to Cherryville. It was what the delivery itself meant.
The engine grumbled and the old truck shifted gears as if to slow. She stepped down off the porch as the truck approached the entrance to her drive. The gears grumbled and the engine sputtered. Hope flowered in her chest only to deflate and sink to the pit of her stomach as the truck rumbled right by headed for the opposite side of the county. Obviously, fattening up Sassy and Frassy wasn’t earning her any brownie points. She was still last on the list.
The outsider.
Holly forced aside the thought. She belonged here. She fit, at least that’s what she told herself as she went about her morning routine. She might have believed it on any ordinary Thursday.
But not the Thursday from hell. It started with her brand-new mixer which started to smoke while mixing the second batch of Caramel Kisses. One minute she was measuring flour for her seductive Cherry Body Bon Bons and the next, she was reaching for the fire extinguisher. By the time she’d put out the small fire, her kitchen looked as if someone had exploded a case of powdered sugar.
“It ain’t the mixer,” Nick the electrician from Speedy’s Electric told her three hours later when he finally arrived. “It’s the outlet. It’s old and the mixer’s new, and the two don’t mix ’cause one needs more power than the other can give. See, these old outlets only put out about ten kilowatts per second and most appliances need at least fifteen.”
“But it’s been working fine.”
“That’s ’cause there ain’t much of a difference between the output and the required input. But the more you use something, the more juice it draws until it just taps out the connection and bam, it’s fried. That’s what you got, little lady. You got a fried connector.”
“Can you fix it?”
“Does a bear shit in the woods?”
While Speedy Nick fixed the mixer—a chore that took all afternoon—Holly and Sue cleaned up the kitchen catastrophe and did their best to make up the lost orders. Holly did double duty with a hand-mixer to pick up the slack, until the next disaster struck.
“There’s no water,” she said when she turned the faucet and heard the rumble and…nothing.
“It might have threw a breaker ’cause of the fire,” Nick said. “I’ll have a look-see.”
The look-see turned into a search-and-destroy machine as Nick went through her entire breaker box, replacing fuses and switches and recutting wires.
“It’s the cartridge in the pump itself,” he told her several hours later. “It needs to be replaced.”
“So replace it.”
“I will just as soon as I can get one from my supplier over in Austin. They don’t make these much anymore, so I don’t keep extras on my truck.” He packed up his toolbox.
“You’re leaving?”
“Ain’t nothing else I can do without a switch. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow morning?” She gave him a hopeful smile.
“I’ll get on the horn and get the part overnighted. Just as soon as Duke drops it by, I’ll head out here and get you all fixed up.”
Her smile died, along with her hope. She was out of water. Off her schedule. And with her fate resting in Duke’s hands, tomorrow wasn’t looking much better.
She tamped down the dread whirling in her stomach. She hadn’t worked her way through school and into a successful business by buckling under pressure. She would work around the upset, and so she sent Sue into town to buy out the bottled-water section of the Food-o-rama.
“Here you go.” Sue hefted two gallon jugs onto the kitchen table an hour and a half later.
“There’s more in the car, right?”
“This was all they had.”
“They had an entire shelf of the stuff.”
“That was yesterday. But today the high school pep squad had their annual car wash at the gas station on Main Street.”
“And?”
“And they tapped out the city’s water supply, so everyone’s stockpiling drinking water until the levels get back up to normal.”
“That’s crazy.”
“That’s a small town. Last year Coach Rooney decided to make the varsity football squad wash down the bleachers after they lost the regional championships. Those boys used so much water that the town was on rations for two weeks. Course, that’s nothing compared to the pep squad car wash. They’ve got Candy Sue Miller—she was last year’s rodeo queen and the girl voted Most Likely to Win a Pamela Anderson Look-alike Contest—doing the wind-shields, so every male within a fifty-mile radius is lined up right about now. The shortage is sure to get worse.”
“Why doesn’t the mayor put a stop to it? Limit the number of cars or something?”
“Candy Sue is his niece. Besides, it doesn’t inconvenience too many folks because most of them have their own water wells, like you. When one goes kaput, the neighbors usually help out each other.”
But Holly only had one neighbor and she wasn’t about to ask him for help. In fact, she was doing her best to avoid thinking about him entirely and having a face-to-face was completely out of the question.
“We’ll make do.” Her brain started to race. “I can substitute milk for some of the water requirements and we’ll worry about the cleanup later.”
Holly spent the rest of the afternoon making up for the morning’s lost orders. By the time the last batch had been pulled from the oven and transferred to the cooling room, her shoulders ached with a vengeance and her temples throbbed with a major headache. While she managed to make up for lost time, she’d yet to get her delivery from Duke, and someone had destroyed her garden—
The thought ground to a halt as she stared at the empty stems pushing up from the newly turned soil. There were no blossoms. No leaves. Nothing resembling the numerous flowers she’d planted last week.
She knelt and fingered the freshly clipped stem. “Who would do this?” she murmured, her throat closing around each word.
“Not who, sugar. More like what.” Josh McGraw’s deep voice slid into her ears and sent electricity humming along her nerve endings.
She turned. The last rays of the sun cast an orange glow and illuminated the man who stood on her back porch. He wore a button-up white shirt, the sleeves rolled back to reveal his tanned forearms, worn jeans and boots. But it wasn’t his rugged good looks and striking appearance that stalled her heart for a long moment. It was the deep hunger in his blue gaze. And the concern.
The last thought rooted in her head as she turned back to her devastated garden. “An animal did this?”
“Probably several animals.” The squeak of boards sounded as he stepped down off the porch. Several strides and he hunkered down next to her. He fingered a barely visible footprint nearby. “Deer,” he told her. “It’s been really dry the past few weeks. Witho
ut water to keep things green and growing out here—” he motioned to the surrounding trees and pastureland “—they eat up their natural supply pretty fast.”
“Deer.” She shook her head and stared at the horizon. Sure, she’d seen a few here and there. From a distance. But right in her backyard? She was definitely out of her element.
She didn’t have the strength to push the thought aside the way she usually did. She was tired. Tired of fighting. Tired of trying to fit in and failing miserably.
“I should have known better than to waste my time with a garden. I’ve never had a green thumb.” Her gaze met his. “When I was working my way through cooking school in Chicago, I was living in this one-room, hole-in-the-wall apartment down on Sixth Street. It was one of those basement apartments. Very few windows. Just lots of concrete and artificial light. I decided to buy a plant to liven things up. It worked for a few days, but then I was so busy with school and work that I forgot to water it. It shriveled up and died.”
“This wasn’t your fault. This garden was like candy to a bunch of kids. They couldn’t resist.”
She pulled a barren stem from the ground and tossed it. “It was a waste of time.” Just like her efforts to befriend Duke and get along with the chamber of commerce members and mow a spread that was obviously too big for one woman.
One way-out-of-her-element woman.
“I’m no good at this.” The words were out before she could stop them. “I want to be, but I’m not. This isn’t me.” Her eyes burned and she blinked, determined to focus. “I want it to be. I really do. But it’s not.”
She wasn’t sure what happened in those next few minutes. She just knew that one moment she was staring at the barren garden and then she was crying and then she was burying her face in the crook of Josh’s neck while he held her. Comforted her.
“You’re trying too hard,” he murmured, his large hand trailing up and down her back. “When you want something really bad, sometimes you have to step back and stop pushing. Sometimes you just have to let things happen.”
She had the distinct impression he wasn’t just talking about her settling down in Romeo.
Her mind rushed back through the previous week. She remembered his seductive words and his hungry kisses and his challenging words.
It’s more than business between us. You know it, you just won’t admit it. Not yet.
What had felt warm and comforting morphed into hot and stirring as she drew her next breath. His scent filled her head and her heart thrummed. She became acutely aware of his chest cradling hers and his hard thigh braced ever so lightly between her legs.
The urge to press herself close and rub against him hit her hard and fast. His hands burned into the base of her spine and her breath caught. She waited for him to move, to pull her even closer and weaken her determination to keep things strictly business between them.
Oddly enough, she wanted him to push her because she knew she wouldn’t resist this time. She didn’t have the strength.
She stared into his gaze and licked her lips. He followed the motion and she knew he wanted to kiss her. As much as she wanted him to.
Her lips parted and his lips parted. His breath brushed her mouth and she closed her eyes and—
“There’s a water line in this pasture that runs up to the north fence of my property.”
She opened her eyes to find him staring down at her, his gaze guarded. “What?”
“I can tie the line into mine and hook you up with some water until your well is up and running.” At her questioning expression, he added, “I saw Sue at the Food-o-rama and she told me what happened. So what do you say?”
“Um, thanks. I appreciate it.”
He grinned and her heart stalled. “That’s what friends are for.”
He wasn’t her friend. That’s what she told herself for the next few days as she went about her daily routine. He was her lover and her business acquaintance and her neighbor. But not her friend.
But when she walked outside Friday afternoon after a grueling day in the kitchen and found him in her garden, she couldn’t ignore the truth any longer.
Her gaze hooked on the newly planted leafy bush blooming with lush yellow flowers.
“Esperanza,” he told her as he pushed to his feet and pulled off his work gloves. “They give off a particular scent that repels the deer. At least most of the time. If we’re stuck in a drought, you might have to use some liquid fence because the animals tend to overlook the smell when their stomachs are grumbling. But for the most part, they’ll steer clear of it.”
She blinked back the fresh tears that suddenly blinded her, but it was too late.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just wanted you to have your garden.”
“Why?” She blinked and fixed her gaze on him. “Why do you care?”
She wanted him to say that he didn’t, that he planted gardens for all his neighbors because it was his grandfather’s last wish.
“I wanted to see you smile.” His voice was low, husky, as if he didn’t want to say the words but he couldn’t help himself. “I like seeing you smile. Your eyes crinkle at the corners and there’s this light…” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just said and tossed the gloves to the ground, next to the box of gardening tools. “I know it sounds crazy.”
And how. Why, she couldn’t care less what he thought about her eyes. She didn’t need his compliments. And she certainly didn’t need him planting flowers for her or hooking up water lines or comforting her when she cried over a bunch of silly plants or being so…nice.
She needed him to be calm, cool and unaffected, so that she could do the same and keep things in perspective.
Temporary, her conscience whispered the way it always did, but the reminder wasn’t enough to harden her resolve. Because she knew the connection with Josh was stronger.
She’d always known it, she simply hadn’t wanted to admit it because she’d been terrified to feel more for him. They had no future beyond the next few weeks until his brother came home and so he was the wrong man for her. She shouldn’t be wasting her time with him. She’d wasted too much time already.
But suddenly the truth didn’t scare her half as much as the realization that she might never meet another man like Josh McGraw. He didn’t just turn her on physically. He stirred a warmth that seeped through her and filled up all the empty places. He chased away her loneliness and left her feeling whole.
Complete.
For the first time in her life.
A feeling she wanted to savor, even if only for a little while. It wasn’t as if she was going to let herself fall completely in love with him. Just a little bit. Just for a little while. So when he did walk away from Romeo, she would have some sweet memories to comfort her during all the long, lonely nights to come.
She held tight to the thought, blinked back her tears and stepped toward him. “It’s crazy, all right.”
His gaze swiveled toward her. Anger and humiliation fired in his eyes at her words.
“And it’s also the sweetest thing that anyone has ever said to me.” And then she did the one thing she’d wanted to do since she’d walked into her backyard and seen Josh planting flowers for her. She pushed up on her tiptoes and touched her lips to his.
JOSH KNEW she was going to kiss him a split second before her lips touched his, and so he braced himself. But knowing it and feeling it were two very different things. He meant to keep his hands to himself and let her make the first move. And the second. And even the third. He wanted to be sure that she wanted him on the same primitive level that he wanted her. With the same intensity. He wanted her to be sure.
Slow. That’s what he told himself. He was going to take things slow and easy.If only his body would cooperate. Instead, his blood raced faster than a Cessna engine readying for takeoff. And there was nothing easy about the erection pressing tight against his jeans.
He shouldn’t kiss her back.
He did.
He slid an arm around her and pulled her close. Slanting her head, he deepened the kiss. His lips ate at hers and his tongue tangled with hers and he tasted her the way he’d wanted to outside of the strict confines of their arrangement.
Slow.
There was no predetermined plan right now. No course of action that he had to follow. He could have her right here and now in the freshly planted garden, the last rays of sunlight caressing her sweet body. Or he could take her on the porch, with the motion of the swing pushing his body deeper into hers.
He could do anything. Everything.
He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers long enough to drag some air into his lungs and give his brain a much-needed burst of oxygen. As anxious as Josh was to be inside the hot, sweet woman in his arms, he’d waited too long for this to have it over so quickly. This wasn’t about what he wanted. It was about what she wanted, and so he vowed to keep his head even if it killed him.
“Kiss me again,” she said, as if she knew what drove his hesitancy.
He complied, but slower this time, more controlled. He let her take the lead. She plunged her tongue into his mouth and explored. He anchored his hands at her waist and held her close enough for her to feel the bulge in his jeans.
She trailed her hands over his chest, her fingers plucking at his T-shirt. She pressed her body up against him, rubbing herself up and down until he damn near exploded in his jeans. But then she pulled back enough for him to breathe.
She stared up at him. “Let’s go inside.”
He lifted her into his arms and carried her into the house and up the stairs. At the end of the hall, he stared down at her, his gaze questioning.
“Last door on the right.”
He half expected another one of the dining rooms, but this was just a plain bedroom with a cedar double bed covered in a pale yellow comforter. Matching sheer curtains hung from the windows. Perfume and cosmetics lay spread across the matching cedar dresser. A Kiss the Cook apron hung from one corner of the dresser mirror.
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