by Twyla Turner
“I…I don’t know.” Simone said hesitantly. Then she took a deep breath and blurted out the next sentence. “I’m in love with them.”
Lanie jumped up and down at Simone’s admission. “Yes! I knew it!”
“I’m so happy for you! Sad for me, but happy for you.” Amber said hugging her.
“Wait. That still doesn’t mean I’m staying.” Simone cautioned.
“But why not?” Lanie said deflated.
“Well…because I don’t know if I can give up everything back home to move here permanently. Especially when Xander doesn’t even know if he’s in it for the long haul.” Simone said sadly.
“What exactly are you giving up? I love you and I’d miss the shit out of you. But you have no family back home, you can get a job as a nurse absolutely anywhere and we can always visit each other. Besides your mother’s tribe is here too.” Amber said selflessly pushing her best friend in the direction she knew she needed to go.
“I haven’t even gotten up the guts to meet them yet. They may not even want me around.” Simone tried to reason.
“Well then, let’s go tomorrow and get it over with. You’ll find out one way or another. And if they want you here, that just might help you decide. Alright?” Amber appealed.
“Alright.” Simone gave in.
“Good. Now let’s go to the bathroom, before I piss my pants.” Amber did a little pee dance, making Simone and Lanie laugh as they followed her.
~~~
“Hey, did you notice that Tracy is here?” Ethan asked Xander and Jackson after swallowing down half his beer.
“What?!” Jackson said, eyes bulging out of his head.
“Yeah, Beth’s been over there talking to her.” Ethan jerked his head to the side in the direction of the other side of the bar.
Both Jackson and Xander whipped their head in the same direction and saw their ex talking with Xander’s sister.
“Fuck! She would be here.” Xander groaned.
“And what the hell is Beth doing talking to her? Since when did they become BFFs?” Jackson growled his displeasure.
“Don’t ask me, dude.” Ethan shrugged.
They both glanced again at where Xander’s sister was talking to Tracy, but their ex was no longer there. They quickly turned their heads to scan the room and nearly jumped out of their skin when she popped up right in front of them.
“Hi, boys. It’s been a long time.” Tracy squeaked with her high pitched voice.
“Not long enough.” Jackson said uncharitably, inwardly cringing at her voice. He had never noticed how annoying it was until he’d spent time with Simone and her soft melodic tone.
“Oh, don’t be that way, Jax. I really do miss you guys.” Tracy pouted.
“Well maybe you should’ve thought about that before you decided to cheat on us.” Jackson said, not backing down.
“Well, what about you Xander? Do you feel the same as Jackson?” Tracy asked Xander with a hopeful look on her face.
Jackson noticed that she kept glancing at the other side of the room, but he thought nothing of it. He just figured she was scoping out the next idiot that would fall for her bullshit.
“I’m not quite as angry as Jackson.” Xander started, and Tracy beamed at him before he finished. “But that just means I didn’t care enough about you in the first place to be hurt by your infidelity.” Xander ended coldly.
Tracy flinched back, shocked. She glanced again across the room and her next move stunned them. She suddenly raised up on her tiptoes and planted her lips fully on Xander’s and her hand reached out and caressed Jackson between his legs. They both pushed her away a split second later, but it was a split second too late. Because as she stumbled back and glanced across the room with a devious smile on her face as she wiped her mouth, the men looked in the direction she had glanced and saw as Simone’s head turned away and she quickly disappeared onto the crowded dance floor. Lanie looked at them with her mouth hanging open in disapproval and Amber’s look of pure disgust cut through them, as they both followed Simone into the sea of people.
Jackson and Xander looked at each other in trepidation. “Fuck!”
~~~
Simone could barely breathe, her heart hurt so badly. She blindly walked through the crowd, not knowing what she was looking for until she spotted them. Two guys stood off to the side of the dance floor, scoping out the perfect girl to pounce on.
Alcohol clouded Simone’s judgment as she walked over to them with a purpose. They looked up at her as she came towards them and their eyes sparkled with delight as she pulled them to the floor.
“Simone, what are you doing?” Lanie hissed as she watched Simone being sandwiched between the two strangers.
“She’s obviously just trying to get back at them for whatever was going on up at the bar.” Amber stated, guessing correctly. “She’s not much of a drinker. So she’s not thinking clearly.” Amber said, watching over the proceedings protectively.
Simone swayed her hips to the music as the guy behind her grinded his erection against her ass. She felt sick at the feel of someone else touching her, but she couldn’t seem to come to her senses with the hazy fog of alcohol and heartache still blanketing her. And she realized too late that their hands were getting a little too friendly.
The guy behind her slid his hands into the sweater from the back and quickly wrapped them around to cup her bare breasts. At the same time the guy in front, stroked his hands up her thighs and caressed around to her bare backside, squeezing firmly.
“Damn man, she’s not wearing panties!” The man breathed his beer breath on Simone as she tried to twist out of the grasp.
“No bra either.” The other one panted.
“Stop.” Simone begged.
“Come on, sweetie. You know you want it.” The guy in front said before trying to kiss her.
Simone turned her head away. She continued to try to get their hands off of her, but they were latched onto her like an octopus. She finally lost it as the guy behind her trapped her with one arm and stroked his hand down to touch her most intimate place, like Xander had earlier.
“I said, STOP!” Simone screamed.
Amber noticing Simone’s struggles and hearing her scream, started to move forward to defend her friend when Jackson and Xander emerged from behind her and Lanie, like avenging angels. Extremely angry angels.
As they moved towards the struggle unfolding before them, Simone ripped away from her tormentors. The move tore the chain holding her sweater together and she clasped the material in front of her, keeping it from falling down around her ankles. The men that were assaulting her threw her down in their anger at being denied.
“Slut!” One spat out, before a massive fist connected with his jaw, instantly knocking him unconscious and he crumpled to the floor.
“What the fuck, man?!” The other yelled as Xander lifted him off his feet by the front of his shirt.
“Don’t ever fucking put your hands on her!” Xander roared in the guy’s face, before throwing him like a ragdoll across the floor.
Through the chaos, Amber had went to her teary-eyed friend, still huddled on the floor. Jackson crouched down and lifted Simone into his arms and started towards the entrance. Xander, Amber and Delanie followed him. Ethan, Chris and Bethany saw the grim procession and they too started out of the club. Bethany finding it difficult not to grin widely for the first time all night.
Xander grabbed his, Simone’s and Jackson’s coats while Jackson carried her out to the truck. Everyone followed quietly, feeling the tense storm brewing.
“Jackson, put me down please.” Simone hiccupped.
“No.” Jackson said the one word firmly, unwilling to argue.
“I said, put me down.” Simone grated out.
“And I said, no!” Jackson bellowed, finally losing the tight rein on his anger. “And what the fuck were you doing dancing with those guys like that?” Jackson shouted as she squirmed to get out of his strong arms.
&nb
sp; “Me? Me!” Simone shouted back incredulous, finally wiggling out of his arms and she grappled with her dress to keep from exposing herself. “What the fuck were you doing with that woman?! I saw her kissing Xander and her hand on your dick!” Simone said, uncharacteristically crude.
“That was our ex-” Jackson started.
“Oh, that makes it better!” Simone cut him off.
“Si, it was nothing. She tried to come on to us and when we denied her, she caught us off guard by kissing me and grabbing Jackson. If I’m not mistaken, I’d almost bet my life that she did it on purpose for you to see.” Xander explained, the only one of the three attempting to stay calm.
“Right.” Simone said doubtfully, as she crossed her arms over her chest. A clear sign of trying to stay closed off.
“No, I’m serious. She kept looking towards where the bathrooms were and the minute you came out, she practically jumped us. And when she realized you saw, she smiled and walked away. As if her job was done.” Xander continued to defend them.
As the possibility of the truth sunk in, Simone’s eyes filled with tears at her stupidity. She realized that she put herself in a potentially dangerous situation in her anger and jealousy. She didn’t even recognize herself in that moment. She had never cared enough about men and relationships to experience jealousy and pain. And she didn’t like it or herself.
“Can we just go home?” Simone said sadly, her head hanging with shame.
“First, I want to know why you let those guys put their hands all over you.” Jackson said in a dangerously low tone.
“Why the hell do you think?! Because I wanted to make you two as jealous and hurt as I felt when I saw her all over you!” Simone yelled up at him.
“And where did that get you? Besides looking like a slut.” Jackson said coldly.
“Jackson!” Xander and Delanie gasped.
Before she realized what she was doing, Simone raised her hand and slapped him so hard that the vibrations radiated painfully up her arm. For all her effort, Jackson’s head barely moved, but a perfect outline of her handprint glowed red across his cheek.
Simone clutched her aching hand to her chest and stared hard at him. Jackson’s jaw flexed in restraint. Her bottom lip started to tremble and a sob escaped her lips.
“I never asked for this.” She started softly. “All my life, I had no interest in love and men and relationships. I focused on my studies and my career goals. My life was simple and uncomplicated. I came here to learn about my mom’s family. My heritage. You both took me by surprise and gave me little option, other than to say yes. And I gave myself to you freely.” Simone’s voice quivered, but she continued on. “And all of a sudden you brought passion, pleasure and color into my gray world. I found out what it meant to love someone beyond reason. But I did not ask for this…this jealousy, anger and pain. These ugly feelings that go along with the beautiful ones.
“I wish I could go back and un-see, un-feel and un-love. Because right now…with this disgust I’m feeling for myself, for turning into a person I didn’t even know in there-” Simone pointed back at the club. “-and for you, in this moment I actually regret having ever met you. And that rips me in half, because I love you.” Simone finally broke down.
Amber and Delanie surrounded her, hugging her and patting her gently on the back. Jackson stepped forward, wanting to go to her. To beg on hands and knees to forgive him. But Xander stopped him with a hand on his chest. Jackson looked up at him and Xander shook his head no. She needs space. Jackson nodded his head dejectedly.
Delanie was the only one that noticed the radiant smile that spread across Bethany’s face.
Chapter 14
Simone rode back to the house in Chris’ car, getting much needed time away from Jackson and Xander, even if only for the short thirty minute ride. The car was deathly silent. Chris drove and Bethany sat in the passenger seat, quietly delighting in Simone’s misery. And Ethan and Amber took up the back seat with Simone.
Simone rested her hot face against the cold glass of the window. She felt bad for ruining everyone’s night, especially Amber and Ethan’s. It was obvious that they wanted to flirt and mess around, picking back up where they had left off in the club. But out of respect for Simone, they restrained themselves.
Simone was sure that Delanie was giving Jackson and Xander an earful in the truck. She hoped their ears bled from the incessant badgering. At the moment she felt as if she was surrounded by an impenetrable cocoon of shame and humiliation. So she held no sympathy for them.
As Chris pulled up to the house, Simone took a deep breath, dreading being near Jackson and Xander. But knowing she had no choice, she opened the car door and walked into the open garage. Chris and Bethany waited in the running SUV for Delanie as both Amber and Ethan followed Simone inside.
Simone pulled off her boots in the mudroom, but refused to remove her coat considering her sweater underneath was ready to fall off if she so much as moved wrong. Wrapping her arms protectively around herself, she walked into the kitchen where Jackson, Xander and Delanie were waiting.
“Hey, Si. You alright?” Lanie asked cautiously.
“I’m fine. Just really tired and need to go to bed.” Simone said, looking down at her stocking-clad feet.
“Okay. Well…have a good night. I hope I see you soon.” Lanie said as she came up to Simone and gave her a hug.
“Goodbye, Lanie.” Simone said hugging her back. The farewell sounding permanent, even to her own ears.
Delanie looked at her sadly and then left through the mudroom.
“Do you need me?” Amber asked thoughtfully.
“No, no. Go enjoy yourself. I’m sorry for ruining your night.” Simone said to Amber, who was holding Ethan’s hand.
“Okay. But don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything.” Amber said before towing Ethan out of the room and upstairs, but not before she gave Jackson and Xander a warning glare.
The kitchen was silent and tense as they stood there, unsure of what to say to each other. Simone refused to look up at them. She wanted to hold onto her anger for as long as she could. And she knew if she looked up at them, she would lose her resolve.
“I’m going to bed.” She stated and turned to leave the room.
“Simone-” Jackson started.
“Don’t.” Simone warned, not looking back.
She bolted out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Once in the master suite she grabbed her pajamas out of the chest of drawers and left the room. She headed to the second guest bedroom and the bathroom it shared with the other that Amber was occupying.
Simone heard the distinct sounds of lovemaking coming from the other room. She quickly turned on the shower, not wanting to hear the passionate sounds. She stripped off her coat, let the ripped sweater fall to the floor and pulled off her stockings. She stepped into the shower, under the hot spray.
All the emotions she had held at bay, came up like vomit and she sank to the shower floor and sobbed. When she finally gained enough composure, she stood up and grabbed a bar of soap. She rubbed the soap between her hands quickly, building up a lather. Lifting her soapy hands to her face, she scrubbed violently. Trying to remove the makeup and all evidence of the evening from her face. And she continued the rough washing down her body. She tried to scrub away the feel of those men touching her. Saltwater tears mixing in with the spray of the shower.
Once she was done nearly scrubbing her skin raw, she stepped out of the shower and looked at herself in the foggy mirror. Her wavy hair was back to normal and her usual unpainted face stared back at her. Seeing that she was still the same person made her feel a little better.
Simone quickly piled her wet hair on top of her head in a messy bun and pulled on her pajamas. She walked into the spare bedroom, went over to the door and locked it. Satisfied that she wouldn’t be bother the rest of the night, she pulled back the covers and crawled into the bed.
She thought that she would have a hard time falling asleep,
considering all the turmoil going on inside her. But almost as soon as her head hit the pillow an alcohol induced exhaustion weighed her down and her emotionally drained body drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
~~~
Simone felt weightless. Like she was floating. She briefly opened her eyes and saw silver eyes staring down at her. She tried to hold onto them, but unconsciousness took her again.
She drifted back up to the surface of awareness again, to the feel of strong warm arms wrapping around her.
“I love you.” She heard and then fell back into a deep comforting sleep.
~~~
Simone woke up slowly. She began to stretch and stopped. There was a chill in the air that had everything to do with the fact that she didn’t have on a stitch of clothing, unlike when she had went to sleep. She also realized that there weren’t any blankets covering her. Slowly and curiously she opened her eyes. The room was dark except for the fire blazing in the fireplace.
She recognized the master bedroom instantly and she vaguely recalled the sense of weightlessness she had felt earlier. She gathered that one of them had somehow unlocked the door to the spare bedroom and carried her back to their shared bedroom.
Simone felt someone watching her and she looked up to see that Jackson was sitting in a chair on the side of the bed, gazing at her. He wore his dark blue hooded robe. Part of his handsome face was in shadow, the other half looked worried and pensive in the firelight. His mouth rested against his massive fists that were clutched together in front of him.
“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” Jackson finally spoke, lifting his chin to rest on his clasped hands. His deep smooth voice caressing over her like a soothing balm over her bruised heart.