He got out of the car, opened her door, and knelt down, taking both her hands into his large palms. He took his sunglasses off and tucked them inside his suit jacket. Big brown eyes met her gaze. She blinked away her tears and tried not to completely come apart.
"Come, sweetheart. I'm so sorry about your parents." He tugged gently, guiding her from the back seat of the car. He slipped her arm around his elbow and let her lean on him as they walked across the lot toward the front door of the church.
He was strong, much taller than her father. But he had that same comforting touch. The one that made her feel safe. Protected. Loved.
She pushed back her tears and held her head high as they walked into the church. There were people everywhere. Some she recognized. Some she didn't.
Her senses tingled, and she scanned the room, looking for him. Heat swirled in her body, confusing her even more. Why did he affect her so much? She saw Tonya and Noah first. Luke was standing behind them, closer to the wall, putting as much distance between himself and her as humanly possible. He looked miserable. His blue eyes were distant, and his shoulders were hunched. Their eyes caught for a second before he looked away. Sadness was the dominant emotion painted on his gorgeous face.
She needed to talk to him. Maybe tomorrow at school.
Aaron VonBrandt led her through the crowd toward the main sanctuary door. She glanced over her shoulder once more, but Luke had disappeared from the wall. Her heart dropped a little, and she wondered where he'd gone.
They entered the sanctuary, and her thoughts left Luke, focusing on the pair of coffins sitting in front of the altar. Beautiful portraits of her parents were displayed on a small table between the two white coffins. There were pictures of them on their vacation to Florida last year, as well.
She pulled her arm free from Aaron and hurried down the main aisle. Tears blurred her vision and she struggled with one of the coffin covers, trying to lift it. One last look. She'd been cheated the chance to say goodbye.
Aaron laid his hand over hers and shook his head. "You want to remember them that way, Kara." He inclined his head toward the photo.
A sob tore from her throat. "I didn't get to say goodbye. I just need to say goodbye."
He shook his head and pulled her hand back from the coffin.
"It's not fair!" Her voice rose in decibel. Control was fleeing her grasp. She hugged herself, taking a step backward. She couldn't focus through the tears pouring from her eyes.
"Kara." Luke’s voice flowed over her like warm honey, coating her in a calm comfort she hadn't felt since he'd left her Friday.
She turned about and found herself only inches from his chest. Looking up, their eyes met, and she shivered as an electrical charge seemed to pass between them.
He stood frozen for a few moments before he lifted his hands up to her arms, tentatively, as if waiting for her to shirk away from his touch.
She didn't, though.
As much as she had promised herself she would avoid him, her body was betraying her. She leaned against his chest and took a deep breath through the shaking of her sobs. He smelled clean with a little spice from a cologne she couldn't identify, but it suited him perfectly.
His arms encircled her, drawing her tighter to his chest. Her ear was pressed against his chest and she listened to the thump thump of his heart and breathed. Just breathed. In and out. Time waited for her to catch her breath.
When she finally looked up at him again, he kissed her forehead tenderly. His lips were warm and soft on her skin. And she felt the connection between them surge with life. She needed him to get through this.
At least for today.
Maybe it would be easier tomorrow.
Probably not.
***
Hope soared in his heart when she let him touch her, let him place a small kiss on her head. It wasn't a lot, but it was more than he'd expected. When his dad had walked into the church and she’d looked at him the first time in the lobby, there had been so much pain in her eyes. He could see it clawing up from her soul, choking the life from her. It killed him to see her that way and not be able to give her comfort.
He wanted nothing more in his life than to see her happy. If it meant staying away, he would do that too, but when her cries had carried through the sanctuary and he'd seen her backing away from his dad, something inside him had snapped.
He'd run to her side, swiftly and silently. Her name had left his lips unbidden. More a plea than a greeting. Then she had moved against him. She hadn't told him to leave. She hadn't backed away from his touch.
Maybe. Just maybe she would give him another chance.
He would do anything for that. Including stand here at the foot of the altar, holding her close, until she gave an indication she was ready to move.
The pastor had walked past and he'd shaken his head, sending him away. Stalling, doing what he could to help her feel more comfortable. She wasn't ready yet. Her arms were tucked tightly between her body and his. If they'd been alone and circumstances different, he would've scooped her up and carried her away. Away from her pain... if it were only possible. But the loss of her parents would not be something she recovered from quickly, and it was not something he could carry her away from, either.
So, for right now, he would appreciate that she trusted him enough to let him comfort her in the small way he could right now. In this moment, a hug was what she needed most of all.
He would be her constant, if only she would let him. He'd always wanted her. Always loved her from afar. Watching her date that jerk had made him throw himself into his studies just to keep his mind off the fact that she wasn't his and might never be.
His mother and father had listened silently last night as he'd told them what had happened that fateful full moon. They'd known he'd liked Kara for a long time, and both understood why he hadn't been able to let her die, but both had also voiced concern that she might never return his feelings. They'd asked him if he was prepared to live his life without her, if that's what she chose.
He'd told them yes, but he knew both he and his wolf would never rest easy until she slept in his arms every night. Until she was his. Heart and soul.
People started to file into the sanctuary. The clock on the back wall showed the time was a few minutes after three. He'd stalled the service as long as he could.
The pastor gestured toward a pew and he nodded.
"Kara, we need to sit." He spoke slowly and nudged her toward the first row of pews, just to his right.
She tensed in his arms for a second and then moved to sit. He sank down on the pew next to her without speaking another word. She didn't make eye contact with him or anyone else. Her gaze remained frozen, locked on the photo of her parents smiling in the Florida sun. Palm trees waved in the background behind them, and the white sandy beaches sparkled and flashed.
The pastor started the service, and Kara sat still and quiet as he spoke about her parents. About their love for life and their love for their daughter. The congregation stood to sing a hymn. Then a couple more people went to the podium to speak, telling a fond memory of Tom and Anna McClure. How much they were loved and how much they would be missed.
Still Kara didn't speak. All he could hear was the thump thump of her heart and the very soft intake and exhalation of her breaths. There were no sobs. Only a steady stream of tears dropped from her cheeks to her lap.
The service wrapped up with another hymn about crossing the Jordan and then the pastor dismissed the congregation.
Luke stood and offered his hand to Kara. She took it blindly and walked with him down the aisle and out of the church. He took her to the black town car in which his dad had driven her there.
"Do you want to ride by yourself?"
She didn't respond, so he leaned down and turned her to face him.
"Kara?"
Her beautiful eyes were empty, void of any emotion, and she wouldn't make eye contact. Instead she seemed to stare straight through him. Then a se
cond later she connected.
"Please don't leave." Her voice was barely a whisper. "It's easier with you here."
He nodded and opened the passenger door. After helping her get in, he closed the door and turned to his father and mother. Noah stood a few feet away as well.
"Dad, will you drive?"
His dad pulled his sunglasses from his coat pocket and nodded. "Don't get pushy, Luke. She's got a longer way to go than you realize."
Luke nodded. He knew.
The ride to the gravesite was slow and torturous. Taking his cues from Kara, he remained silent, and so did his father. Once they arrived, Luke helped her out of the car again and walked her to the two sites that had been prepared for her parents. He and his family were the only ones that stood with her other than Joe Walker. The bartender was a player but a good guy at heart, and really cared about the people in the town. He knew everybody... and probably everything about them, too.
A bagpipe player walked up to the side of the grave and began to play. Luke glanced over to his mom. Tonya VonBrandt smiled. Kara's parents had been so proud of their Scottish ancestry. This tribute was something they would've really appreciated.
Kara's tears had started again. The sobs came in waves now, each cry crashing against his heart like the lash of a whip. He sensed her knees buckling and slipped an arm around her waist, holding her firmly against his side without any strain. She was so small.
The drone of the pipes split the afternoon air, touching his soul. There was nothing on earth quite like the sound of well-played bagpipes. The song was slow, stately, and yet seemed to soar on the air like a spiraling bird, lifting his spirits and hopefully Kara's.
The coffins were lowered, and the graves filled.
The piper continued seamlessly from one song to the next. Near the end of the fourth song, the graves had been filled and Kara straightened.
She had to be exhausted from the crying, but she didn't say a word. Just let him lead her back to the car.
He helped her in and then circled around to the other side to sit next to her. She whispered a thank you under her breath, but didn't look at him.
Luke took her left hand, damp from tears, into his hand and squeezed.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Numb. That's what she was now.
The pressure from Luke's hand on hers was heavy, but she couldn't feel it. Couldn't tell if his hand was warm or cold. Soft or hard. It was just there.
She couldn't look at him either. Her body sagged against the seat, and she watched the familiar landscape pass by - grass, trees, mostly oak and pecan. She couldn't tell how much time passed between leaving the cemetery and Luke's father pulling to a stop in front of her parents’ house.
The bagpipe player at the graveside had been a wonderful tribute to her parents. Her mom and dad both would've loved it. But it'd also broken her steeled composure and she'd turned into a weeping mess. After they left, it was like she was just empty again.
She was awake, but not really. Just going through the motions.
When she looked up again she was standing in her bedroom staring at herself in the mirror above her vanity. Her face was splotchy, tear streaked, and what little make up she'd worn was completely washed away.
"Kara?" Luke stood in the doorway. "Kara?" he repeated.
How many times had he said her name? She looked up at him, but didn't know what to say. Something in his face changed from hesitant to protective in the space of a few seconds. His face remained solemn, but his eyes softened and caressed her in the way only a man's could.
He walked to her dresser and opened and closed the drawers until he found a pair of yoga pants and an oversized college t-shirt. "You need to change and lie down for a while."
She looked at the clothes in his outstretched hand, but still couldn't move. More tears flowed down her cheeks, and she turned her focus to the floor. It didn't matter if she changed. She could sleep in this dress. Moving to crawl into the bed, she felt his hands encircle her waist and pull her back.
"I'll help you, Kara," he murmured.
She straightened in front of him, quite aware that her backside was rubbing against his groin. They stood frozen for a moment. Then she felt his hands drift up her back to the top of the zipper. She held her breath. Was he going to undress her? Really?
He pulled at the zipper and ran it down the length of her back all the way to the curve of her ass. At least he had to step back to complete the task. She wasn't sure how much more of feeling his growing erection against her ass she could handle.
She shouldn't be aroused right now or thinking about his cock. But she was, and she couldn't stop. Each brush of his fingertips along her skin awakened her even more, awakened a need inside her that wanted to be sated. That wanted to disappear into the bliss and sanctuary that sex could provide - at least temporarily.
Grabbing the top of her dress, she yanked it down and shimmied until it pooled on the floor. She kicked off her high heels, losing three inches of height in the process. It didn't matter. She would get what she wanted tall or short. He wanted her too. That she was sure of.
Turning to face him, she pressed herself against his chest and reached for his face, pulling it down to hers. She covered his mouth with hers and pushed her tongue between his lips.
For a second he was unmoving, but his shock didn't last long. His arms encircled her body, pulling her tightly to him. He slid his hand up her back and dug into the hair at the base of her skull. Taking control of the kiss, he swept his tongue into her mouth and moaned.
Fire licked through her body, and she shivered in anticipation. This is what she needed. To forget the pain. To forget her life. She wanted to disappear into him. Luke made everything feel better. His touch alone had calmed her in the church. Now his touch heated her body, and she wanted more.
Her hands flew to his belt. In a few short moments his belt was off and his pants were open. She reached inside to rub his cock. God, he felt nice. Hard and long, and yet as soft and smooth as velvet. Moisture pooled in her sex, and her body throbbed.
"Wait," he growled against her mouth and pulled away. "I can't do this. You'll hate me after. Kara, I can't."
He stepped backward a few steps, pulling up his pants and searching the floor for where she'd thrown his belt. A few seconds later he'd found that, too, and was completely dressed again.
She stood, shaking, in the center of her room. Her bra and panties still in place and Luke barely able to look at her. Was she that horrible? That unattractive? Vincent had cheated on her for years after all. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Maybe she was bad in bed? Or a bad kisser?
Looking up at him again, she seethed this time. Her hands clenched at her sides. No. He'd wanted her. She could feel it plain as day in the palm of her hand not ten seconds ago. What the fuck was wrong with him?
"Get. Out."
"Kara."
"Get. Out."
He nodded and left her room in a hurry, shutting the door behind him on his way out.
She sank down onto the edge of her mattress and dug her fingers into the comforter. The desire to tear something apart raged through every cell of her body. She threw her body down, burying her face in a pillow, and screamed. Again and again and again.
When the urge to scream had passed she picked up the clothes he'd laid on the bed and walked with them into the bathroom. Maybe a shower would help clear her mind and cool her still thrumming body.
***
Luke stood in the hallway just outside her door silently cursing himself. He'd heard her muffled screams of frustration. And then he'd heard the water turn on in the bathroom.
At least she was moving around. That was something.
It'd killed him to tell her no.
When she turned and kissed him, all clear thought vanished in an instant. He'd wanted to kiss her for so long. Wanted to feel her body against him. Then she was right where he wanted her. She'd taken him out of his pants and held his cock, squeezing just
enough that he'd had to steel himself against grabbing her and throwing her down on the bed.
She was heaven. Everything he could've imagined. But it wasn't right. She was grieving. If they'd slept together then, it would've been a mistake. She would've hated him for taking advantage of her. Her emotions were so volatile right now. He knew she was looking for an escape.
He wanted to be that for her, but he wanted her long-term, not just to fuck and cast off. She was so much more to him than that. She needed to know that. He wanted to give her time to get to know him, to care about him. To want more than to use him as a temporary haven from her feelings.
His back rubbed the wall as he sank to the floor in the hallway, praying he hadn't ruined his only chance with her. His mom always told him to go with his gut, and his gut had screamed that meaningless sex was a mistake. His wolf was pissed at the missed opportunity to seal the bond completely, but he knew they needed more. It wouldn't have been fair to throw her another curveball until she was ready for it. The rush of emotions from the sealed bond might've sent her careening over a line from which he couldn't pull her back.
He closed his eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. "One step at a time."
The water finally shut off in the bathroom, and he listened to her move around for a few minutes before the bed squeaked. Good. She was at least trying to get some rest.
He climbed up from the floor and moved to lie on the couch in the living room. Turning on the TV crossed his mind, but mostly he wanted a nap as well. Several minutes later he felt himself drifting off.
***
To Save A Mate (A Western Shapeshifter Werewolf Romance): Somewhere, TX (VonBrandt Family Book 1) Page 6