She shrugged and smiled.
“How did it happen, Leah? If you don’t mind telling me. The babies you lost before?”
She set down her sandwich and brushed her palms together. She’d told her mother about the first baby, of course, but she’d never told anyone since. Her stomach fluttered nervously, but it was time. Daniel was her husband, after all.
Chapter Fourteen
“We changed locations a couple of times. Some forts were large, but most were small and rustic. I never knew if I’d be better off staying back in Pennsylvania or traveling with Charles. Most of the campaigns required the wives to stay behind anyway, but I guess the army thought it was good for morale to have the women waiting at the fort. It was unbearably hot that summer, and the wives stayed in small wooden structures strung together right out in the blazing sun.” She brushed bread crumbs from her skirt and paused a moment.
“The army provided us servants, so the work wasn’t hard, but the boredom was unbearable, so I was helping out as a teacher. We didn’t have a real doctor, so the wives helped each other as best they could, and I learned a lot from one of them. Her husband was transferred and she left. It was after that I had problems.” She pursed her lips as though forming her next words. “My feet and ankles swelled in the heat, so I stayed home and didn’t go to school. I didn’t feel well, had trouble eating, and after several false alarms, I gave birth too early.”
“I’m so sorry,” Daniel said.
“He was a boy,” she said. “Perfect and so, so tiny.” She glanced out across the sparkling river. “The next time I learned I was going to have a baby, I’d been helping the medical officers. There was one engagement after another and many were wounded. I’d seen so much and was so weary by then I insisted I go stay with my mother. I’d had enough of the suffering on those outposts.”
He nodded with understanding.
She didn’t go into details about her stay at home or what had happened. “I was back in Pennsylvania when I lost the second baby.”
“A girl or a boy?” Daniel’s question surprised her. Charles had never even asked.
She closed her eyes. “Another boy.”
A silence fell between them. Finally, Daniel said, “You know your babies are in heaven, Leah.”
When she opened her eyes, tears blurred her vision. She nodded. “I do. But I wanted them in my arms. I needed to hold them, love them.”
He moved food aside to shift beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Snuggling close, it felt good to be able to talk about her loss, to share with someone who cared and sympathized. For the first time since the war she felt as though her feelings mattered, as though she mattered to someone. As though she wasn’t alone.
Daniel made her feel important, and she wasn’t sure she was deserving of that. Initially she’d been too foolish to recognize the nature of a good man. She’d thought she’d felt something for Will, but separation had shown her it had been a girlish infatuation. Upon meeting him, she’d imagined Charles was a good choice and she’d chosen to marry him.
She’d suspected Daniel had felt something for her, but he’d never voiced it. He’d seemed happy for his friend when she and Will had planned to stay in touch. They’d all been young, and if Daniel had experienced a youthful infatuation with her, he’d moved beyond that long ago. His kindness and concern was that of one human being for another. She didn’t imagine she’d ever mean more to him than a close friend. But having a good friend was a blessing.
“It’s different this time,” she told him in a soft voice. “I don’t feel sick. My feet and legs aren’t swelling. This baby is going to be well and healthy.”
Daniel touched his nose to her temple, to her silken hair, and the citrus scent enveloped him. She was brave and strong, this woman. She had endured a lot to get to this place. On top of being alone, she undoubtedly missed her husband, but she remained positive and cheerful. She didn’t feel sorry for herself. She did what needed to be done. “We’re going to do just fine, Leah.”
They finished their lunch and sat companionably another half hour in the shade before Daniel loaded their belongings into the buggy and they headed for Noah’s.
His friend had a mare tethered outside the barn near a stock tank when they arrived. Daniel helped Leah down just as Wolf bounded toward the visitors.
Leah eyed the large dog warily and tucked herself behind Daniel’s shoulder.
“Hey, boy,” Daniel said to the animal.
Wolf raised his nose to the air, catching scent of the newcomer.
“Wolf, go lie down,” Noah ordered. The big animal moved away and obediently lowered himself into the grass.
“Wolf?” Leah spoke the word near his ear.
“Only half,” he assured her. “He’s not as dangerous as he looks.”
“What brings the two of you out?” Noah asked.
Daniel led Leah to within several feet of the horse. “You didn’t accept our invitation, so we came by to see you. We were in the area. Fishing.”
“I was busy.”
“Too busy for friends?”
At Daniel’s pointed question Noah glanced at him from under the brim of his hat, slid a glance at Leah, and then picked up a scrub brush and pail and washed the horse with long effective brush strokes. “Not much for small talk.”
“Haven’t seen anything of the Murdochs since the incident at the church.”
“Heard about that. Think they’re gone?”
“Appears that way, but we’re still cautious. Still have outlooks posted.”
“If they’re smart they headed out.”
“I’m going to find the...um...” Leah’s voice trailed off.
“Find what?” Daniel asked.
“The necessary?”
“The—oh, sure. Behind the house there.”
She cast an anxious glance behind her. “Don’t let Wolf follow me.”
“Wolf, stay,” Noah ordered.
Nose in the air, the dog watched Leah walk away.
“Fishing, huh?” Noah asked.
“Caught five good-sized trout,” Daniel replied. “One was Leah’s catch.”
“She looks well.”
Daniel nodded. “She is. She’s making friends. Has the house looking nice. She’s trying really hard.”
“And a kid, huh?”
“Yes.”
“You okay with that?” Noah asked.
“I’m perfectly okay with it. I want a family.”
Noah scooped fresh water from the tank and poured it over the horse, swiping away suds with one hand, repeating the action until the animal was rinsed. “Even though it’s not yours?”
“It will be mine. Leah is my wife.”
Noah gave him a long, assessing look. “You’ll make a good father.”
Daniel grinned. “I intend to.”
Leah returned a few minutes later. “You have a nice spread here,” she said to Noah.
“I like it,” he answered.
“I’ll walk her in the sun,” Daniel offered, taking the mare’s bridle and leading her away. Maybe leaving Leah and Noah alone for a few minutes would break the ice. Occasionally he glanced toward them. Leah had a knack for talking to anyone. She pointed toward the rear of the house and Noah said something. The next time Daniel looked, they were gone. When he returned the horse and let her into the corral, he found his friend and his wife at the edge of Noah’s vegetable garden.
“You have a knack for gardening,” she was telling him. “The rows are even and your plants are healthy.”
“My mama always had a huge garden. Ochre and greens and tomatoes. I can almost taste her sweet potato pie, her fried squash...and nobody makes fried chicken like her.” His drawl had become more pronounced as he spoke.
&nbs
p; “That sounds like southern cooking if I ever heard of any.”
“She always made black-eyed peas with rice,” he said. “Ever tried that?”
“No, I have not had that pleasure.”
He gave a rueful shrug. “Wish I could cook.”
“Maybe I could find some recipes and Valentine could give them a try. She’s an excellent cook.”
Noah glanced at Daniel and back at Leah. “That would be nice once the garden is producing.”
“The mare’s in the corral,” Daniel said.
Noah gave a nod. “Thanks.”
Noah showed Leah a few fruit trees he’d planted, took her to the strawberry bed he’d covered with netting so the birds couldn’t eat the berries.
When they said their goodbyes, Daniel took Leah’s hand and led her to the buggy. He gave her slender fingers a gentle squeeze. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“You know how to put people at ease. I haven’t seen him talk to anyone like that since we’ve been here.”
“He’s a nice man. Smart, ambitious. I didn’t want to ask when he mentioned his mother, but does he have family left?”
“He and his father didn’t part on good terms when he left to fight for the Union. Both of his parents were alive then. He’s mentioned three younger sisters. As far as I know he hasn’t had any contact with any of them since the war.”
“That’s a shame if he does have someone left,” she mused. “Surely his mother wonders if he’s all right.”
“Can’t say.” Daniel led the horse to pull the buggy toward town. “He has to figure things out on his own.”
“Yes.” She seemed contemplative for a moment. “You’ve been each other’s family, haven’t you? You and Will and Noah?”
“You might say that.”
“I want to fit into your circle,” she admitted in a low voice. “I don’t want him to pull away from you because of me.”
He reached for her hand. “It’s not like that. He hasn’t. And he’s warming up. No one can resist you.”
She smiled up at him, and he admired the curve of her cheek, the spiral of pale gold hair lying against her neck. “No one?”
“No one.”
That night after Valentine set their supper on the table, Daniel suggested she go on home for the evening. “I’ll clean up,” he said.
“I received a lovely gift from my brother today,” the woman told Leah. She removed her apron and gestured to the watch pinned to her dress. “It’s near enough like the one I had before, and I had missed knowing what time it was.”
“Yours was stolen by the outlaws, wasn’t it?” Leah asked.
“Yes. Seems most of the women folk are having items replaced. They’re not the same as the lost heirlooms, of course, like Miss Hartwood’s brooch or Miss Neely’s ruby earbobs, but the kind gestures are heartwarming all the same.”
“That’s good to hear,” Leah said. “Thank you and enjoy your evening.”
“I shall. Good evening.”
Valentine had prepared tender veal, potatoes and beets, and Leah sliced her meat and tasted it. “You will certainly be spoiled for Valentine’s cooking. I don’t know I can do half as well.”
“I arranged for a photographer to have a tent at the fair, and I’ve scheduled an appointment for us. We can have our wedding portrait done then. As long as that suits you.”
“That sounds perfect.”
Daniel set a small red velvet bag on the table. “This isn’t going to be a surprise, but it’s for you.”
Leah set down her fork and picked up the bag, loosening the drawstring. She reached inside and fished out a gold wedding band and a small brooch, barely an inch wide, shaped like a dragonfly. The body was made up of deep red stones and the wings of much smaller stones. Its eyes were two tiny pearls. “Daniel, I didn’t have a brooch like this.”
“I know, but I thought it would look pretty on one of your dresses.”
She touched one of the stones with a thumb. “Are these glass sets?”
“They’re garnets, actually. It was made in Austria.”
Caught off guard, she touched her hand to her chest. “Oh, Daniel. This is too much. You shouldn’t have.”
“I wanted to,” he argued. “You deserve nice things.”
His generosity made her uncomfortable. “I’ll have Hannah help me make a dress that I can wear this on for the next few months. Several didn’t fit when I tried them on Sunday.”
“I was only thinking you might like it.”
“I do like it. Very much. And I’m happy to have a wedding ring again.” She held it in her palm. “Would you put it on for me? You placed the first one on my finger.”
His expression showed his pleasure, and she was glad she’d asked. He smiled and took the ring from her. “‘Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies.’ I’m proud that you’re my wife, Leah.”
His confidence created an ache in her chest. She placed one hand over her heart as though the touch could ease her pain and looked at the ring on the hand he held. “I only want to be worthy of your commitment, Daniel. Right now I don’t feel as though I’m doing my part. But I will, I promise.”
“You did catch a pretty good-sized fish today.” His mouth tipped up at the corners, and she laughed. “I don’t want you to worry about any of that. Your job is to rest and prepare for the baby.” He released her hand and turned to finish his supper. “Noah told me I am going to be a good father.”
“You will be a good father,” she returned. “I have no doubt.”
“Leah, if you think it’s right, when the time comes, will you want to tell the child about Charles?”
There was no way Daniel knew the truth about Charles. He was assuming her husband had cared and wanted a child, a family. Truth was the man had been unconcerned about Leah and her previous pregnancies. He had died before she’d even known this baby was on the way. She couldn’t tell the child the truth about his father—about the way he had died. No one deserved a father like that. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” she said. “We have a lot of time to think about it.”
He sliced a piece of veal. “Well, it’s something to think about.”
She was beginning to feel deceptive, letting Daniel think all had been well and that Charles had been a decent man. Who was she protecting by not being honest? Charles? What did it matter now? He was gone. All at once she felt uncomfortably warm, a flush rising to her cheeks, as the truth finally dawned on her. Deep down she was protecting herself. She was embarrassed. Humiliated. She didn’t want Daniel to learn what really happened in fear he might think less of her. She wasn’t the person he thought she was if she couldn’t even tell the truth. If a virtuous woman was as valuable as rubies, she was a lump of coal.
Eventually she would have to tell him.
* * *
Leah always enjoyed the walk along Lincoln Boulevard. The journey took her past the almost-finished schoolhouse with its red shingle roof and past an entire undeveloped block before she got to Remmy Hagermann’s mercantile. Remmy wisely catered to his female patrons by carrying the items they requested and often ordering similar products and two or three of a special order. She located the catalog she wanted on a shelf, lowered herself to a chair and rested the heavy volume on her lap. Daniel would appreciate a few new books for his library shelves. She’d decided against the meager gift she had planned for him. The embroidered handkerchiefs were still in her trunk. He gave so much to her. The china he’d sent for was not only sentimental and thoughtful, but thinking of it and finding the set like her mother’s had been an incredible gift she would always treasure. And he seemed to lack for nothing, so what could she possibly find for him? With every day that passed she was feeling worse and worse about not having given him a wedding gift ye
t.
Lost in story descriptions and titles, she noted her selections on a piece of paper and didn’t pay much attention when the bell over the door rang a few times as customers came and left. The sound of women’s voices discussing prospective marriages arrested her attention, punctuated by the sound of her name.
“Leah Swann did well, marrying Daniel Gardner, for goodness sake,” the familiar female voice said. “Have you seen that house she lives in?”
“It’s a nice house,” another answered, and Leah couldn’t place the voice. “But a house doesn’t make a woman happy.”
“It sure helps.”
“I’ve had a dozen offers since my family moved here last fall. Robert doesn’t have much. He’s struggling, actually. But he’s honest and funny, and a hard worker. He’s the one I think about all the time. When we see each other in town my heart beats fast and I hardly know what to say.”
“That’s foolishness. Don’t marry for love, my dear. Do what I’m doing. Marry for money. Set yourself up for the rest of your life.”
“Sounds rather cynical, if you ask me.”
“Why?” the woman scoffed. “Because I’m a realist? I’ve had enough hard work to last me a lifetime, and I’m done with that. I don’t want to work until I’m a wrinkled old woman. Who wants to be scrubbing and cleaning and fetching water and cooking when you can live in town and have help?” A few moments ticked by, then she went on. “Will Canfield’s house will be the biggest house in Cowboy Creek, and married to him I’ll be the cream of society. So do yourself a favor, my dear, and set your sights higher than a dirt farmer.”
Dora Edison!
Chapter Fifteen
Leah’s heart pounded and indignation rose inside her. Her heart broke for Will, whom she still considered a cherished friend. She stood, the catalog hitting the floor, her notes scattering. She marched around the stack of dry goods behind her and confronted the two women idly examining spools of ribbon.
Dora looked up and her face blanched. “Leah!”
“I knew there was something wrong. Nothing about you rang true, but I believe Will cares for you.”
Want Ad Wedding Page 15