She turned south and came to a corner where she made out the silhouette of Will’s house. At the end of that block she came to the church, but kept going all the way until she reached the railroad tracks. She knew exactly where she was because of the tracks and the darkened station.
“Who’s there?” a male voice shouted.
She started and peered into the darkness. “It’s Leah Gardner.”
Cinders crunched under his boots as a tall, slim form approached, a rifle in hand. “Ma’am. What are you doing out tonight?”
“I went for a walk,” she answered. She’d forgotten the sentries. This probably hadn’t been such a good idea.
From the other side of the tracks came the sound of piano music and laughter. No, she really hadn’t been thinking when she’d headed this direction.
“Does Mr. Gardner know you’re out walking in the dark?” His voice held a distinct Texas accent.
“I wasn’t thinking,” she said quietly. “Sorry if I disturbed you.”
“Why don’t I walk along with you to Lincoln Boulevard?” He motioned for her to walk beside him, and she recognized him as the drover who usually wore the beaded vest.
“You’re James Johnson.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You’ve stayed in town for a few weeks now.”
“I’m growin’ fond of the place. I’ll likely head south and ride with another drive b’fore winter. Usually ride with the Stone outfit, but we had a partin’ of the ways.”
“Sorry to hear that. Something you can fix?”
“Don’t seem likely.” They drew up at the lumber yard and he pointed up the boulevard. “Can’t leave my post, ma’am, but you’ll be fine from here on home. I’ll watch from here.”
“Thank you for the escort, James. Have a good night.”
“Yes’m. You, too.”
She walked passed Remmy’s mercantile and on, seeing the schoolhouse ahead. She had big dreams, plans to see her and Daniel’s children attending this school. Her lack of commitment, her inability to open up and admit to herself that she loved Daniel had moved all of those dreams to the edge of a cliff.
She’d made a lot of mistakes in the past, made poor choices without thinking things through, but Daniel didn’t feel like the wrong choice.
She stopped in front of the school and sat on the new wooden steps. “Help me fix this one, Lord. Show me what I need to do. I do love Daniel. I believe he loves me, but I think I’ve hurt him. I thought there was so much time ahead, but I know now that every day I held back was painful for him.”
She glanced up the street to the big house that was built angled to the southwest on the corner of the block. She hadn’t lit lamps before she’d left, and the house was dark, which meant Daniel was still gone.
She wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of what she wanted now. She’d lost too much. She’d come here for a husband. Daniel was still the one she wanted. He believed in her, and she wanted to be the person he deserved. She had a yearning for the tenderness and acceptance he offered. And now she knew for sure—knew she would move a mountain to make this marriage work and create the family they both needed. She hadn’t known this longing could be so powerful.
The sound of hoofbeats met her ears, and the brown-and-white skewbald came into view, its rider slowing the horse at the corner where the house sat. Daniel had ridden in from the east, and would ride Woodrow another block to the livery and walk home.
He continued past, headed for Eden Street.
Leah got up. She would go to her room and he wouldn’t even know she’d been gone. She felt foolish for heading out without a plan and circling the town, ending up being discovered by James Johnson near the railroad tracks. She stepped off the bottom stair and lost her balance.
Twisting her ankle on the way down, she caught herself with both hands and landed in an ungainly heap. Her wrist smarted, and her ankle hurt. She sat up, pushed to all fours and got to her feet, testing her ankle. Pain shot through the joint, and she limped the rest of the way to the corner, across the street and to the house. She took the stairs slowly and let herself in.
She’d be sorry if she didn’t take time to chip ice from the block in the chest, so she went into the kitchen, lit a lamp with a tin reflector on the wall and filled a dishtowel with ice chips. She washed her face and hands with the wet rag at the basin, turned down the wick, and slowly made her way up the stairs.
She spread a towel on the bed and lay down with the ice on her throbbing ankle. She was more embarrassed at her clumsiness and mad at herself than anything. It took her a long time to fall sleep.
This time when she dreamed, she envisioned herself lying in this bed, but she wasn’t alone. A bright warmth pervaded her arms and breast, and she looked down to see her beautiful dark-haired infant snuggled against her, wearing the precious yellow smocked gown. Gently she touched her newborn’s silken cheek, felt tiny gusts of breath on her finger. Joy overwhelmed her, and she never wanted to look away from her baby’s captivating face. The dream embodied everything good and perfect, but also pointed out how very fragile and precious life was. She woke gently, a smile on her lips, assured that moment would be hers. “Thank You, Father,” she whispered. “Thank you for this baby and for Daniel. I’m trusting You with both of them and my marriage.”
* * *
For the first time she didn’t go down to join Daniel for breakfast. She heard him leave and a little while later there was a soft knock on her door.
“Are you well, Leah?”
“Come in, Valentine.”
The woman pushed open the door and carried in a tray. “Mr. Gardner said to make sure you eat.”
“Of course he did.”
“Are you all right? Do you want me to go for Doc Fletcher?”
“That might not be a bad idea.”
Valentine’s forehead creased in concern. “What is it, dear?”
Leah threw back the lap blanket to show her the foot she had propped on a pillow. Her ankle was swollen and bluish.
“Oh my stars! What did you do?”
“Something very stupid. I went out in the dark and took a little tumble.”
“Do you hurt anywhere else?”
She held up her arm. “My wrist.”
“I’ll go get him. First I’ll bring you some ice.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry to be a bother.”
“It’s no bother. Don’t move.” She returned with a supply of ice and then hurried to collect Dr. Fletcher.
“You should have sent for me last night,” he scolded her, after examining her wrist and ankle. “You could have broken a bone. You might’ve hurt yourself worse.”
“My hands and wrist hurt because I caught myself,” she explained. “I sort of rolled onto my side, very gracefully I assure you. I feel perfectly fine.”
“That baby feels perfectly fine,” Doc said. “He’s an active one, isn’t he?”
She agreed.
“No other bruises or cuts?”
“That’s it.”
“I’m going to wrap it loosely, and I want you to stay off that foot for a few days.”
Daniel was going to find out and he’d probably be angry with her. She nodded.
Valentine brought up books from the library. After lunch Opal showed up.
“Leah, what on earth happened to you? Valentine mentioned your accident to her brother this morning when she saw him going into the barber shop.”
“Beside Doc Fletcher’s office.”
“And Owen told the barber and the news is all over town now. Amos came up and told me a little bit ago.”
Which meant Daniel would hear it from someone else. Leah rolled her eyes in exasperation and blurted the whole horrible mess to Opal.
Opal sat in
silence for a few minutes. “Honey, that man is so besotted with you, he can’t look away when you’re in the room. When he gazes at you his face lights up like the sky on a cloudless night. Whatever this business is all about, it’s not because he doesn’t love you. It’s because he does.”
“I let him down,” she blurted. “I was too cowardly to admit how I feel about him. And now this.”
“Be honest with him—about everything. Get it all out in the open.”
“I would have liked to be able to stand and face him.”
“Don’t you dare. You stay off that foot.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Opal turned to a bag she’d carried in and set on the chair. “I’ve brought something to help you pass the time while your ankle is healing.” She produced a skein of blue yarn and a crochet hook. “Crochet is easier to learn than knitting, and I have a feeling you’re the impatient sort.”
“I appreciate that. Did intuition perhaps prompt you to bring me blue yarn?”
“No, that’s what I had left from a sweater I made for my sister’s little boy. I’ll show you how to start.”
An hour and a half later, Leah had a lopsided bootie started. Opal had nearly finished one and now pulled all the stitches back out to roll the yarn back up into the ball.
“I could have used that one,” Leah said.
“You will make your own,” Opal assured her.
“Maybe by the time the baby is three he’ll have a pair of booties.”
They both laughed.
“Go on home and rest, Opal. Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome. You rest, too.”
Leah had been asleep for half an hour when the sound of heavy boots coming up the stairs woke her. She opened her eyes.
Daniel stood at the entrance to her room. “Why did I hear from Walter at the livery that you’d been injured?”
Chapter Twenty-One
She flinched at Daniel’s severe expression. “It was last night and I didn’t want to bother you.”
He came close to look at her wrapped ankle. “You did this last night?”
“Yes.”
Some of the steam left his posture. He turned and pulled the chair close to the bed and sat on the edge. “I suppose you didn’t feel like you could tell me after what I said and the way I left.”
“It’s not your fault. I was the one who went out walking in the dark.”
He frowned his displeasure. “You went out alone at night?”
“I know it was foolish.”
He stared down at the comforter, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “I’m sorry about last evening, about the things I said and the way I said them.” He met her eyes. “I saw you at the hotel with Will yesterday.”
She thought that over. “You saw us...doing what?”
“Talking. You were coming down from his office, and then you walked outside together.”
Thinking back over the things he’d said the night before, she remembered he’d asked her how she felt about him. She’d assured him she was fond of him. Fond of him.
He’d said the situation had changed since she’d first arrived and she hadn’t known what he meant. He said they’d both had time to think since then, and he wouldn’t hold her against her will. He would arrange for an annulment if that was what she wanted. Her heart sank at the memory.
“When you got to Cowboy Creek Will was engaged to Dora, but he’s free now. It’s possible I pushed you too fast, got ahead of God’s timing and you were meant to end up with him. I saw the two of you together and you looked so happy.”
“I was not meant to be with Will Canfield,” she said, indignant at his misinterpretation of the scene he’d witnessed. “I was happy because we were talking about you, you big oaf.”
“You chose him once, Leah. Things didn’t work out when the war started, but maybe this time, maybe now...”
“And I have regretted the choices I made back then,” she assured him, her voice taut with fervent emotion. She hadn’t known this much regret was inside her. “I regret them more than you can imagine. I was focused on what seemed the safe choice, and at the time you scared me. You were always planning something and trying something new. You wanted to come west and start a ranch. Little did I know the whole country would disintegrate, and your plan would be the most levelheaded of all. Only you came west and started a whole town.”
“With Will,” he bit out. “And he has political aspirations. I’m still planning on those horses.”
“I don’t want anyone else, Daniel. I don’t want anyone but you.”
“I may have pushed you into this,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“You didn’t push. I made my own choice, just as I’ve always made my own choices. Only this time I made the right one. Selfishly I took the security you offered. But I made one mistake. A big one. I made marriage sound like a business contract.”
He rested his corded forearms on his knees and leaned on them, steepling his fingers under his chin as he studied her.
“As though I could keep from ever hurting again if I didn’t let myself admit how I felt about you.”
He said nothing. It was apparent he listened with every fiber of his being.
“And then I fell in love with you.”
His green eyes showed wariness, but betrayed a glimmer of hope as well.
“I didn’t want to admit it to myself,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to admit I’ve probably loved you for a long, long time. But I was so wrapped up in being practical that I didn’t let myself feel. It was only the past couple of days I thought I could let myself love you the way you deserve—the way I want to.”
He lowered his hands. “You’re saying you love me, Leah?”
“Why should you believe me? You shouldn’t. I’m the woman who does whatever it takes to stay safe.”
“But you don’t lie.”
She pursed her lips for a moment and then released a sigh through them. “No. I don’t lie. I’ve hurt you. You don’t have to forgive me for that.”
“You haven’t hurt me, Leah.”
“But I have. I’ve been holding back.”
He sighed. “Can we just say this is all new to us? Neither of us has any idea how to transition from friends to—to—whatever we’re becoming.”
She raised her chin. “Man and wife.”
His eyes held so much love and hope, her heart gained momentum. “Yes?”
She nodded. “People who love each other?”
“Yes, Leah. A hundred times yes.”
Her gaze blazed into his and she reached toward him, palm up, the back of her hand resting on the bed. “Yes.”
He placed his hand over hers, engulfing it. “It took me a while to realize it, but I never stopped loving you. When I believed you loved Will, when I thought Charles would make you happy, I made peace with that, but I never stopped loving you.” He swallowed hard and his eyes glimmered with emotion. “Then you showed up here. When I asked you to marry me, I did so willing to live my life without your devotion, because I only wanted your welfare and that of your child. I was prepared for us to be friends, but I realize now how foolish that was. I want your love more than anything.”
“But you would have let me go if I had loved Will instead?”
“It would have killed me, but I would have given you my blessing.”
She adjusted herself on the bed, already weary of the lack of activity. He leaned forward to arrange the pillows behind her shoulders. Hooking an arm around his shoulder, she pulled him close. He sat at her hip and threaded his fingers into the hair at her temple.
She cupped his jaw and held his head so he had to look into her eyes. “I want you to say you won’t let me go.”
His eyes flut
tered closed, but he opened them again and drank in her earnest expression and her plea.
“I want you to say you want me for yourself.”
“I do want you for myself.” The words came out gruff and low. “I always have. No one has ever taken your place in my heart. No one ever could.”
He leaned toward her until their lips met. He’d kissed her before, but this kiss filled her with the renewed discovery of first love.
Daniel didn’t want this moment to end. She loved him. Beautiful, gentle Leah loved him. He’d watched her grow from a young girl to a woman, all the while longing for the day they would be old enough, the day he could declare his love and ask her to marry him. This was the woman who had filled his days with longing and his nights with dreams. Her delicate fingers dug into his shoulder as she clung to him.
For so long he’d believed it was never to be. He was destined to live out his life without her, all the while knowing no other woman could fill the place she held in his heart. And now here she was, all soft and warm, and wanting to kiss him.
Loving him.
He could hardly believe she was here in the house he’d built while hoping against hope for a woman to love. She was here in his arms.
He framed her lovely face between his palms and leaned away to look into her eyes. “I love you.”
Her lips curved into a smile. “I love you, Daniel Gardner. I’m going to make the best wife you can imagine.”
Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Daniel reluctantly released his wife and moved back to the chair. He’d almost forgotten Valentine was downstairs.
The woman carried in a small wooden folding table and set it beside the bed near the chair where he sat. “I’ve made supper, and I thought you’d like to eat together up here.”
“That’s thoughtful of you.” He glanced at Leah and they shared a secret smile.
“I’ll be right back.”
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