by Fiona Brand
“Thanks, Jaron, but I’m not hungry. I doubt that I could eat anything even if I was,” she said, thankful to have Sam’s brothers with her. They treated her like a sister and she was going to miss them terribly once the divorce was final and she was no longer part of their family.
“Come on and sit down,” Nate said, guiding her over to a bank of chairs along the far wall. When she sat, he asked, “Did Sam regain consciousness in the ambulance on the way over here?”
She shook her head. “I think he was starting to come around when they took him back to the examination room, but they told me I couldn’t stay with him and that the doctor would come out and talk to me when he knew something.”
Unable to leave the rodeo they had coordinated to honor their late foster father, the men had sent her to the hospital with Sam, while they attended to dispatching the livestock Sam’s company had provided for the various events to the next rodeo on the schedule. She knew it had to be extremely hard for them not to have dropped everything to go with their brother to the hospital, but they had done their duty and seen to Sam’s interests when he couldn’t.
“Is everything over with for this year’s memorial rodeo?” she asked, knowing the bull riding was usually the last scheduled event.
“Yup, we got everything taken care of,” Lane said, lowering his lanky frame into one of the chairs. “There’s nothing for you to worry about right now, except being here for Sam.”
“I wish they would come out and tell us something,” Bria said, unable to sit still any longer. She walked over to look down the hall toward the room where they had taken Sam.
What could be taking so long? she wondered as she spotted T.J. and Jaron returning with several cups of coffee. The longer it took to hear something, the more worried she became.
“Still no word?” T.J. asked as he stopped to hand her a cup. He had no sooner gotten the words out, when a man in blue scrubs and a white lab coat entered the waiting area.
“Mrs. Rafferty?” he asked, walking over to her.
As she braced herself for whatever news he came to deliver, Sam’s brothers rose to stand with her. “I’m Brianna Rafferty,” she said, surprised that her voice sounded strong when her nerves were anything but steady. “Is my hus…is Sam going to be all right?”
“I’m Dr. Bailey, the neurologist on call this evening.” His expression gave no indication of what kind of news he had to tell them. “Let’s sit down and I’ll explain what’s going on with your husband.” Once they were all seated, he pulled up a chair to sit across from them. “Sam regained consciousness just before we took him to Imaging for the CT scan and X-rays, which is a good sign. And there was no evidence of broken bones.”
Apparently sensing she needed support, Nate took her hand in his and asked the question that she couldn’t. “Why do I hear a ‘but’ in your voice, Doc?”
“The scan showed that Sam suffered a severe concussion, but there were no signs of bleeding in his brain, which is good,” Dr. Bailey explained. “There is, however, some swelling.”
“What does that mean?” Jaron demanded. With his raven hair and dark demeanor, Jaron was the type of man other men rarely had the nerve to cross.
“There may or may not be complications.” Dr. Bailey met their worried gazes as he continued, “The next twenty-four hours should tell us if the cerebral edema will get worse. If that happens, we may have to take him into surgery to remove a section of his scull to relieve the pressure.”
Bria covered her horrified gasp with her hand.
“I really don’t think that’s something we’ll have to do, Mrs. Rafferty,” Dr. Bailey hastily added. “I’ve been monitoring his condition since he was brought into the E.R. and the swelling doesn’t show signs of worsening. But even if that isn’t an issue, we’ll have to watch for other neurological problems that wouldn’t show up on a scan.”
“What kinds of problems are we talking about here?” Ryder asked, looking as if he would like to punch something. A rodeo bull rider, normally the man was absolutely fearless. But Bria knew his frustration was a mask for the fear they all felt for Sam.
“With brain injuries there’s always the possibility of memory loss, problems with reasoning abilities or a personality change,” the doctor answered. “I’m not saying any of those things are inevitable or that they would be permanent if they do present, just that there are those possibilities.”
“Dear God, this can’t be happening,” she said as tears spilled down her cheeks. Sam was so strong, so self-assured, it was impossible to think that he might end up having problems. That she had played a part in his being injured in any way was almost more than she could bear. But she couldn’t live with herself if he had long-lasting problems because she’d chosen today to end their marriage.
Nate protectively put his arm around her shoulders. “When will we be able to see him, Doc?”
“We’ve put him in the Intensive Care Unit for closer observation and he’s resting comfortably. But two of you can go in to see him for a few minutes now, then again every two hours or so.” The doctor stood up and shook their hands. “I’ll let you know more after I assess his condition in the morning. For now, I’ll have one of the nurses direct you to the ICU waiting room upstairs.”
As the man walked away, Jaron patted her arm. “It’s going to be okay, Bria. Sam will get through this without any of those problems.”
“Sam’s tougher than anyone I’ve ever seen,” T.J. added. “I have no doubt he’ll be up and around in no time.”
Lane took a deep breath. “Why don’t you and Nate go on up to see him, while the rest of us stake a claim on some space in the ICU waiting area.”
On the elevator ride to the third floor, Bria couldn’t help wondering how much Sam had told his brothers about their divorce. Knowing him the way she did, he probably hadn’t told them any more than he had to.
Bria sighed. She might have decided that she couldn’t be his wife anymore, but she wanted to be with him tonight, wanted to help see him through whatever he was facing. But she wasn’t entirely certain she should stay either. After all, they were so close to being divorced, she wasn’t sure she had the right.
“Nate, maybe I shouldn’t be here,” she said uncertainly.
Her brother-in-law looked at her as if she might be losing her mind. “Why the hell would you say something like that, Bria?”
“Sam and I are one signature away from being divorced,” she said, hating the word. “I’m not sure he will even want me to be here.”
Nate shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t have that signature yet and until you do, as far as I’m concerned, and I’m pretty sure the state of Texas is in agreement on this, the two of you are still married.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” he cut her off. “You’re still his wife, and until this is over with and Sam is back on his feet, this is where you belong. After that, it will be up to the two of you to sort it out.”
She supposed Nate was right. Until the dissolution of their marriage was final and the documents filed at the courthouse, they were still legally married. If medical decisions had to be made on Sam’s behalf, she would be the one they turned to for answers. Besides, she wanted to be with him until she knew for certain he was going to be all right.
As they stepped off the elevator and turned to go through the Intensive Care Unit doors, Bria bit her lower lip to keep it from trembling. Even though they were ending their relationship, she still cared deeply for him. She just couldn’t live with him anymore. Not after what he had done almost five months ago. She had needed him with her when she lost their baby, not his excuses for being unable to leave his stock-contracting company during a rodeo.
When they checked in at the nurse’s desk and were directed to Sam’s room, a tear slid down Bria’s cheek at the sight of him. There was a swollen lump at his right temple and an ugly bruise ran along his jaw, but to her relief his eyes were open, clear, and she knew immediately th
at he recognized her and Nate.
“Will you tell these people to give me my clothes back so I can get dressed and get out of here?” he asked impatiently.
“Well, some things never change,” Nate said, his smile reflecting the relief Bria felt. “I see that bull didn’t knock any of the orneriness out of your sorry hide.”
Bria approached the side of the bed and, unable to stop herself from touching him, gently brushed Sam’s dark blond hair from his brow. “Does your head hurt, Sam?”
He reached for her hand. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to be just fine. Just find me some clothes, I’ll get dressed and we can go home.”
“You really need to stay here for a day or two so they can take care of you and make sure you’re going to be all right,” she said, taking his hand. The moment her palm touched his, a deep sadness for what could have been tightened her chest.
“I’ll rest better in our bed at home,” he insisted. “Hell, I’ll even let you play nurse if that’s what it takes to get me out of here.”
Bria silently met Nate’s questioning gaze. Why did Sam keep insisting that they go home together? She had moved out of the ranch house three months ago. And if that hadn’t been enough to convince her that something was wrong, his concession to let her nurse him back to health was. Another reason she had felt there was no hope for their marriage was the fact that he had so much pride and self-confidence, he never made her feel as if he truly needed her for anything but making love. If he were himself, he wouldn’t even consider allowing her to “play nurse.”
“Sam, do you know what month this is?” she asked cautiously.
He frowned as if he thought she might be the one with problems. “It’s January. Don’t you remember, we celebrated New Year’s together just before I left to take a string of bulls to the event in Oklahoma. That was last week. Now, will you stop asking me questions and get me something to wear?”
Her heart felt as if it came up in her throat. The bull-riding event he mentioned had taken place six months ago.
“It’s getting late and besides, it’s a two-hour drive from here to the ranch. Why don’t you stay here tonight, then we’ll see if they’ll let you go home tomorrow morning.” Nate glanced at her again, then finished, “In the meantime, Bria and I will see what we can do about finding your clothes.”
“That sounds like a good idea, Sam,” she agreed. His obvious lack of memory bothered her and they needed to speak to the doctor about it right away. “Try to get some rest now. I’m sure we’ll be able to deal with everything in the morning.”
Sam didn’t look happy, but apparently deciding he wasn’t going to get his way, he finally nodded. “Nate, could you give me a minute with my wife?”
“Sure thing, bro.” Nate nodded toward the hall. “I’ll be down in the waiting room with the rest of the guys, Bria.”
When Nate left the room, Sam pinned her with his piercing blue gaze. “Are you doing all right? You didn’t get too upset, did you?”
Confused, she had no idea why he was asking about her welfare. He was the one who had the accident. “I’m doing okay. But why do you ask?”
“We’ve been trying to have a baby and when I called you from the bull riding up in Oklahoma the other night you told me you were going to get one of those early home-pregnancy tests at the drugstore,” Sam said, looking hopeful as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Were we successful, sweetheart? Are you pregnant?”
A cold sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach at his mention of their trying to start a family. He didn’t remember that she had not only become pregnant, she had miscarried in her seventh week. That had been almost six months ago and had ended up being the last straw in making her decision to file for divorce. Something was definitely wrong if he had no recollection of the past several months’ tumultuous events.
“No, I’m not pregnant,” she said, determined to talk to the neurologist as soon as possible. “Now, get some rest and I’ll be in a little later to check on you.”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” Sam said, smiling. “We haven’t been trying that long. I’m sure you’ll be pregnant within another month or so.”
Unsure if she could respond without bursting into tears or reminding him that he would have had to be home more for her to become pregnant again, she simply nodded and turned to leave.
“Aren’t you going to give me a good-night kiss, sweetheart?” he asked, still holding her hand.
“I…uh… They won’t let me take down the bed rail,” she said, thinking fast. Kissing the tip of her index finger, she pressed it to his lips. “You need to get some rest so they’ll let you out of here soon. Try to get some sleep, Sam.”
He gave her a grin that never failed to cause her heart to skip a beat. “It’s going to be damn hard to do without you here beside me.”
She once again had to bite her tongue to keep from pointing out that sleeping without her hadn’t seemed to be a problem for him when he was traveling from one rodeo to another with his livestock-contracting company. But as she stared down at his handsome face, she decided that now wasn’t the time to get into how lonely she had been without him, how many times she had asked him to cut back on the travel or to remind him that some time ago, he had reached his goal of being independently wealthy and didn’t need to work if he didn’t want to. His smile was playing havoc with her resolve and she needed to put distance between them in order to regain her perspective.
“Good night, Sam.”
Some things never changed, she thought as she walked down the hall to the waiting area. The sun rose in the east each morning. The ocean rushed to shore. And Sam Rafferty could make her knees wobble with nothing more than his sexy-as-sin smile.
* * *
“I really don’t see any other way around it, Bria,” Nate insisted, shaking his head. “You’re going to have to move back into the ranch house with Sam until he regains his memory.”
After finally getting a chance to talk to the doctor the day after the accident, Sam’s brothers and Bria had decided to get a good night’s sleep, then meet in the hospital cafeteria this morning for coffee as they discussed how best to handle Sam’s recovery.
Dr. Bailey had informed them that after staying in the hospital for observation the past forty-eight hours, Sam had been cleared to go home, but that he was suffering from post-concussion syndrome. That was the reason he had forgotten everything that had happened during the past six months. The doctor had assured them that the condition was most likely temporary and would clear up on its own in a few weeks with Sam recovering most, if not all, of his memory. But until then he might suffer with headaches and spells of dizziness and shouldn’t become overly stressed or worried. And that was what brought them together to discuss the current dilemma. It was imperative that someone be with him at all times until he was fully recovered.
“Can’t one of you stay with him?” she asked, looking at each man in turn. “Or maybe hire someone to oversee his care?”
“Hiring a nurse would be out of the question,” T.J. said, adamantly shaking his head. “That would just piss him off and traumatize some poor nurse after she figured out he’s like a grizzly with a sore paw when he can’t do things for himself.”
“Any one of us could arrange to stay with him, but that wouldn’t solve the problem of Sam not getting overly stressed,” Lane said as if weighing his words carefully. “He doesn’t remember that the two of you were in the process of getting a divorce, let alone that you moved out. And right now that’s information he doesn’t need to hear.” Being a professional poker player, the man was a master at strategy and logic. At the moment, he was doing a fine job of using both to wear her down.
“You know we would do it for Sam in a heartbeat, but we aren’t who he’s going to expect—or want—to be with him,” Ryder pointed out.
“But all my things are in Dallas,” she said, feeling trapped. “Don’t you think he’ll notice there are none of my personal effects
in the ranch house? No clothes. No pictures of my family.”
She knew it was a weak argument, but how was she supposed to get on with rebuilding her life if she had to go back to Sugar Creek Ranch and all the problems that had caused her to leave in the first place? And especially when the man she would be living with didn’t remember that those problems had become insurmountable.
“We all have trucks and strong backs,” T.J. said, shrugging.
Jaron nodded. “We can have you moved back into the house in nothing flat.”
Sighing, Bria knew what they said made perfect sense, but it still didn’t make it any easier to accept defeat. She had just started to get used to the idea that she wouldn’t be living the life she had planned when she married Sam. For three years, she had envisioned herself as a stay-at-home wife and mother to the big family they had planned to have. Then after making the painful decision to leave him, she had to start thinking about re-entering the workforce and building a career.
“If I do this, it’s only temporary.” She felt as if she was taking a huge step back from the course she had set for herself three months ago.
“Got it,” Nate said.
“I’m starting a new job as a marketing consultant for one of the department stores in Dallas in a few weeks when they start to expand their women’s clothing line, and I can’t afford to miss out on this opportunity,” she stressed. “I’m lucky they allowed me the time to get the divorce finalized and my feet back under me before I start the job. I’m not going to ask for more.”
“I’m certain Sam will have his memory back by then,” Lane assured her.
“And I wouldn’t want everything moved back to the ranch,” she warned them.
“Just tell us what you want out of your apartment and we’ll make sure that it’s in the house by the time you and Sam get home,” Ryder said, smiling.
Nate checked his watch. “We’d better get moving. They’re going to discharge Sam in a couple hours. That doesn’t give us a lot time to get to Dallas and then out to the ranch before you two get there.”