by Nina Singh
Pulling her wrap tighter around her exposed shoulders, she moved down the steps. In the distance to her right, the flickering lights of the city twinkled against the skyline. From the harbor behind her came the unmistakable aroma of low tide.
She turned and started walking toward the city. The building that housed her TeaLC’s headquarters stood west of center. It loomed before her like a symbol of her life. She thought about what she was ready to do for the business that building housed, the trip she was about to take and the underlying deception behind it. But she had to. She couldn’t let any of her employees lose their jobs.
R.J. was willing to do so much to help her. But that was just his nature. She couldn’t take it to mean he still cared for her. That would be a mistake, one too costly for her heart to handle. By all logical conclusions, he had moved on. For all she knew, there was probably even a woman in his life right now.
And what about all the things Shanna had brought up last night? Had R.J. indeed left because he’d made the misplaced assumption that she’d be better off?
Did she dare confront him about it?
She hadn’t been able to admit it to her best friend, but the simple fact was that Angel had fully expected R.J. to come back. Maybe in a few months. Perhaps even up to a year. She’d told herself it was just a matter of time before he returned to her.
But he hadn’t.
The sudden blare of a car horn sounded as a motorist cut off a van in traffic. The noise brought her attention to her surroundings. She hadn’t realized she’d gotten so far. She’d passed the aquarium and all the construction around it without even realizing. Her watch told her she’d been inadvertently walking for almost fifteen minutes.
The hustle of downtown Boston buzzed around her. She tilted her head back to stare at the building before her. Somehow she’d ended up at the last place she wanted to be.
Only one thing left to do now.
* * *
R.J. glanced at his watch, then looked back up at her. “What are you doing here, Angel? Did your chauffeur take a wrong turn?”
“I was hoping we could talk.”
He lifted an eyebrow. Angeline stood still, braced on the doorway of his hotel suite, afraid to move. The pain in her calf from the long walk in high heels had her lifting her leg to rub it gently. She looked up to see heat swimming in his eyes. He turned away quickly, leaving her to wonder if she’d imagined it.
She straightened. “Can I come in?”
He let out a breath before stepping aside and motioning her inside.
She moved into the room and took a breath for courage. R.J. had the lights dimmed. A large picture window overlooked the city. Rich mahogany furniture adorned the room along with a plush sofa and love seat. It was quite a leap from the one-bedroom studio they had shared as man and wife. That place had only the bare essentials. But R.J. had refused any assistance, including the use of her trust fund. And this was worlds different from the dingy studio over the North End bar where he’d lived during college. She knew it took a rare person to go from a place like that to surroundings like this. Not to mention, this was just one of the properties that R.J. owned. He had real estate holdings all along both coasts.
“I wanted to give you one more chance to change your mind,” she began. “I mean, about coming with me.”
“I made my decision that morning, Angel. You don’t have to worry about me pulling out at the last minute.”
She felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. Deep down, she’d known he wasn’t going to change his mind. But she had to offer him the out.
“I’d say you’re the one who might be having doubts.”
She shook her head. “No, I haven’t changed my mind.”
“You’re certain?”
How could she be certain of anything when he looked at her like that? The warm glow of the dimmed lights threw shadows over his face. His eyes were piercing, intense. His undone collar exposed a triangle of bronze skin and dark chest hair she longed to run fingers over. A small shudder escaped through her, and she hoped he didn’t notice.
“I’m certain we’ve both gone mad.” She tried to laugh. “But I know what I have to do. And I appreciate your willingness to help.”
“No sweat.” He shrugged and walked over to the bar in the corner of the room. “Can I get you anything? Something to drink?”
The last thing she needed in his presence was a drink. Any drop in her inhibitions and she’d be likely to go to him, to touch him the way she’d done the other night when he’d pushed her away.
“No, thank you. I—I just wanted to see you, you know, to be certain.”
He nodded and thoroughly looked her over. She tried not to shift uncomfortably under his stare. Suddenly, the low-cut style of her dress, though tasteful, left her feeling exposed. She fought the urge to shift the velvet wrap higher to cover herself. Everywhere his eyes touched felt like steamy water running over her skin.
She cleared her throat. “Perhaps you can answer a question for me, though.”
He took another large gulp of his drink and seemed to be in a hurry to swallow it down. “Shoot.”
“Why are you willing to do all this? To drop everything and travel across the world with me?”
He only shrugged in answer.
“I know it took a lot of hard work and dedication to get where you are,” she continued. “Something tells me that if you want an overseas expansion, you’ll find a way to get it yourself.”
He looked surprised at her comment. “Thank you for that,” he said quietly.
“Which leads me back to my question. Why?”
He shrugged again. “You asked for my help.”
She wanted to press it, but there was a warning in his eyes that stopped her. She couldn’t name it, but it looked fierce and unforgiving.
“Now I have a question for you,” he declared.
“All right.”
“Why are you really here?” He stepped away from the bar, slowly, his drink still in his hand. “Dressed like that?”
The shadows in the room seemed to grow suddenly darker. “I told you. I—um—came by to give you one more chance to back out.”
“You couldn’t have done that with a phone call?” He lifted the glass back to his mouth, his gaze never leaving her face. She watched his lips part and subconsciously opened her own.
She ignored the question. “As for my dress, I had to go to a formal dinner meeting at the pier.”
He didn’t say anything for a while, just stared at her with an expression that made it clear he wasn’t buying it. Why had she shown up here? She’d fully intended to call him.
She cleared her throat. “Well, I should go. I see now I’ve interrupted you while you were working.”
“It can wait.” He moved closer, bringing the scent of his distinctive cologne with him. “Right now I’m more interested in getting to the bottom of this.”
“Bottom of what?”
“Your visit.”
She felt a stinging warmth on her skin, not sure if it was embarrassment or something else. “I—I already told you. What else do you want to hear?”
“I want to know the real reason you’re here. Standing in my living room, in a dress that seems to have been created to reduce a man to tears.”
He stared at her as she stood immobile. Angel watched as his eyes traveled over her shoulders, lingering at her chest. A curl of heat meandered its way through her center.
“Is it as smooth as it looks?” he asked in a whisper.
She heard herself gasp. “Wh-what?”
He took large steps toward her. Close, so close. “The dress. Is the velvet as smooth as it looks?” She froze as his hand came up to touch her. He ran a finger over the low collar of the dress, moving provocatively toward the cent
er, where it dipped lower between her breasts. She tried not to react, even as her breathing grew heavier.
She strained for a casual laugh that came out more like a nervous cackle. “Come on, R.J., you think there was some ulterior motive to my coming here like this?”
She tried to step away, but he moved to block her. She could feel his heat over her skin. She tried not to breathe. One deep breath and her chest would come in agonizing contact with his.
“You explain it to me, then, Angel,” he challenged. “Tell me why you’re here to ask me something you could have asked on the phone. Wearing that.”
“It’s just a dress, R.J. Nothing more.”
He lifted his eyebrows. “Oh, it’s so much more. Let me ask you something. Was it the dress you were intending to wear all along to your business dinner? Or was it a spur-of-the-moment decision?”
She tried not to gasp in acknowledged surprise. It had been a last-minute decision. Subconscious, but last minute.
It was time to bring out the defensive artillery. “Aren’t you flattering yourself just a little?” God, she hoped she sounded convincing. “I came here to merely talk to you, to make some sort of agreement that we’re both fully committed to this trip. Now that I’ve done that, I think I’ll leave.”
“And that’s it? That’s the only reason you’re here right now?” He paused as his eyes made another slow, discomforting journey over her.
She cleared her throat. “R.J., you’re being silly.”
“Am I? Am I being silly when I read desire in your face? I know that desire, Angel. I’m the last man on earth who would mistake that look in your eyes.”
She swallowed. “There is no ‘look.’ I’m stressed out and I’m tired. My shoes were killing me the whole way here.” She stared at him defiantly, trying to quell the effect his closeness was having on her. “Exhaustion. That’s what you’re seeing. Nothing more than pure physical exhaustion.”
He gave her a look that clearly said, The lady doth protest too much. “You walked here?”
“I needed the air.” She could use a large swallow of it now.
“That’s a long distance for heels.”
“You’re not telling me anything my feet don’t know.”
A knowing look settled across his face. “So you felt the need to walk, in the dark, to offer an apology that could have been delivered on the phone.”
“Like I said, I needed some air. It did me a lot of good. It’s just too bad my feet didn’t agree with the decision.”
He bent down then, quickly and unexpectedly. She tried not to jump as warm strong fingers wrapped around her ankle.
Images flashed through her mind, and all she wanted to do was join him down there. On the carpet, feeling the weight of his body on hers. She yanked her foot back with too much force and nearly toppled over backward. “R.J., please don’t, I’m fine.”
He didn’t come up from his crouched position. “Your feet are starting to swell, and your right heel is loose.”
Now things were getting romantic, Angel thought drily. It was hard to determine whether to laugh or cry at her predicament. Or should she just give in and ask for what she wanted...?
She gave her head a quick shake. “I—I’ll be fine. We’ll talk tomorrow. Sorry to have disturbed you.”
“We’re not finished yet.”
As far as she was concerned they were. She twirled around to make a dash to the door, away from the danger of this conversation.
“Angel, just hold on.” His voice had grown more gentle, but it was still a demand. “Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”
The last question broke her control. How could he ever expect her to explain this senseless attraction that seemed to consume her? Clutching her purse to her middle like a protective shield, she tried to suck in a calming breath. “I shouldn’t have come here. This whole thing is going to be difficult enough. Let’s just see how we can best get through the next couple of days and this trip. We don’t need to rehash the fires of old attraction.”
“If you really meant that, you wouldn’t be here, sweetheart.”
“I told you, I realize now that I shouldn’t have come.”
“But you did.”
She felt tears of frustration and swore they would not fall. “Why are you doing this?”
He moved quickly, so fast she could have sworn she felt the air move around her. She felt herself being pulled up against him. “I agreed to become involved because I assumed you were being straight with me. You said you needed help with a small business matter and that only I fit the job requirement. If there’s more between us than that, I need to know about it.”
“I don’t know why you’re so worked up over a simple visit.”
He gently but effectively pushed her up against the wall, then followed to lean up against her. It was sweet agony to feel his weight against her again, to have his heat on her skin.
“Let’s just call it precaution, darling.”
She wanted to fling her anger at him, wanted to wound him with harsh words and strong denials. She wanted to scream that there was nothing between them. But the lies wouldn’t form on her tongue. Instead, the truth started to roll out. “Do you want me to admit it? Is that it? Do you want to hear that I still yearn for you, that I’ve missed your touch every day since you left?” Thoroughly disgusted with herself at the complete lack of control, she tried to quell the shaking.
“Is that what you want from me?”
R.J.’s eyes grew wide. Then instantaneously turned darker.
“What did you just say?” His lips were so tight and his voice so low that she almost wondered if she’d imagined the words.
Suddenly it was all too much: the pressure of the last few days, the threat of losing her business. Confronting her dangerous attraction to a man she should have forgotten long ago. Afraid to stay in his presence a moment longer, she yanked herself out of his grasp and ran to the door.
“Angel, wait.”
“No. I’m leaving now, R.J.” A rock had appeared right above her throat. It was painful and choking.
“Don’t. Not yet, please. Not like this.”
She wasn’t listening anymore. Everything she did in his presence seemed to take a wrong turn. Her vision blurred as her eyes began to sting. All that mattered now was to leave his apartment as soon as possible. She gripped the doorknob so tight her hand hurt.
“Angel, I didn’t mean to be so hard on you. You—you just threw me off.”
She had thrown him off? Her life had become an out-of-control ride on a speedy Tilt-A-Whirl since he’d shown up in her office a few days ago.
“I’m sorry I keep disrupting your life,” she said over her shoulder. “Once this is over, it will never happen again.” The last word came out on a sob, and she despised herself for it. How pathetic could she be?
“That’s not what I meant. For God’s sake, would you just hang on?”
She couldn’t. She yanked the door open. The hallway swam in front of her, and she started to run as she felt him closing in behind her.
“Angel, please. Give me another second.”
“R.J., not now!” she said, afraid to turn around. She ran past the elevator, not wanting to wait.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I snapped. Would you just wait—?”
She hurried down the hallway, cursing herself as a coward. But for all her successes and all her accomplishments, she didn’t have the strength to face the man behind her.
The loose heel of her shoe wobbled, but she ignored it. She was almost at the stairway. The only important thing right now was to get out of here.
She reached the emergency stairs and yanked open the door, R.J. hard on her heels.
“Damn it, Angel. You’re going to tumble down those steps. Would you pleas
e just stop?” He was near pleading now, the urgency thick in his voice.
But she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t even slow down.
“Angel, I’m not going to follow you. All right? Just slow down before you hurt yourself.”
She didn’t heed him. Her heel gave another twist, and she inadvertently took two steps at a time. Her foot landed on the hard stone and shot a jolt of pain through her already sensitive ankle. She stumbled but managed to right herself. R.J.’s gasp was audible from behind her, even though it was obvious he wasn’t pursuing her any longer.
She saw the exit sign and hiccupped with relief. Just a few more steps. When she pushed the door open, cool air finally hit her like a smooth, satin curtain. She stopped on the sidewalk to catch her breath.
“Angel, please,” she heard him say behind her several moments later.
How could she let him see her cry this way? It was bad enough he’d read her so well, bad enough he had figured it out before she could even admit it to herself. No, she had to get away from him. She ran to the curb, desperate to find a taxi.
Her heel finally gave way. She felt herself plunging toward the ground and braced for the inevitable pain of impact with the hard concrete. Before she could even cry out, strong arms gripped her at the waist and stopped her fall.
It took a moment to regain her breath, then she said the first words that came into her head. “Nice catch.”
He remained silent for a beat. “Yeah, you were.”
God, it felt right. Being in his arms felt like being home. All she could think about was the feel of him.
“I—I guess I totally lost that heel.”
“You lost the whole shoe.”
Despite herself, she let out a small laugh.
She moved to disengage herself, and he shook his head. “Uh-uh. You can’t walk like that.”
What was the alternative? Suddenly, he picked her up and turned around back toward his building. She didn’t protest. Her husband was carrying her back to his hotel room in the middle of the night. And she wasn’t going to protest.
Strangers stared at them, but she hardly noticed. The old sensation that they were the only souls on earth manifested itself like habit. She gave in to the urge to snuggle into his chest.