by Annie West
She didn’t know what to think. Logic said he’d wanted her, yet he’d put her aside easily.
Lina had told herself it was for the best. That kiss had been dangerous. But now cautious Lina was silent. Since last night a needy, yearning woman had taken her place. Her fixation on the man who’d turned her life around had morphed from a crush into full-blown infatuation.
She wanted Sayid. Never so much as now, hearing that lush, glorious laugh, seeing his face crease into a grin of simple amusement.
He’d never looked so devastatingly handsome. So young and approachable. As if she could go over there and speak to him as an equal. Lift her hand to that thick, soft dark hair covering his scalp and pull his head down to hers. She’d stand on tiptoe and lift her mouth to his and—
The laughter stopped as his eyes met hers.
There was a crack of instant, explosive tension she was surprised no one else seemed to hear. Suddenly her heart was racing faster than it had as she’d danced, and a fine film of heat glazed her skin from head to toe. One look, one smile, and she was undone. Even after last night’s rejection. Hot blood flooded her cheeks.
What was he doing here?
Why was he looking at her that way when he’d made it clear he was out of bounds after that kiss? He didn’t just look. His gaze devoured.
A second later the heat blazing in his eyes was banked and he turned to the older group surrounding him, saying something that made them nod.
Of course, he wasn’t here looking for her. What a stupid fantasy! He was here because he’d championed this centre and his staff were trying to convince people to send all their children to the new school nearby. Because the Emir believed it better for his people to want education than to force them.
Sayid was totally unlike his uncle. Parents had scared their children with stories of the previous Emir, a bogeyman who’d come to get them if they didn’t behave.
Sayid was no bogeyman but he drove her crazy, she decided as she got up and righted her two little companions. His position meant she couldn’t pursue her attraction—he’d made that clear as he put her aside last night and the memory stabbed her heart. Yet she couldn’t leave while she was obliged to him. She was caught like a moth, dazzled by flame. All she could do was endure.
For ninety minutes she was on her best behaviour, co-opted into the royal party as he finished his tour then entered the old souk, pausing here and there to talk to stallholders and shoppers alike. There were a couple of discreet guards but they hung back so there was no obvious barrier between Sayid and his people.
Again Lina was fascinated by what she saw. Not a man caught up in his own importance, but one who’d happily sample dates from the clawed hand of an ancient stallholder, who chatted easily with businesspeople and passers-by clustering around.
Nor was it just his ease that impressed her. It was the questions he asked and the way he listened. More than once Lina saw him nod to his secretary to take a note of a matter to be followed up. The walk-through wasn’t for show. His interest was genuine.
Lina admired Sayid, too much. Everything she learned confirmed her first impression, that he was a man worthy of respect. The trouble was, she felt far more than respect, which was why, on entering the citadel, she made to hurry to her room.
‘Not so fast, Lina. We have matters to discuss.’
He didn’t put out a hand to prevent her leaving, but that tone, with its ring of authority, stopped her in her tracks. This was her ruler, not the hungry man she’d clung to last night. The one who’d tasted of dark, sensual secrets she longed to learn.
Her nape prickled and suddenly her chest was too tight, as if her lungs had swollen and there was no room to breathe.
‘This way.’ He led her through grand reception rooms, past the throne room, thank goodness. Standing before him there on her first day back as he sat high on the royal dais had been one of the most daunting things she’d done.
He opened a door and Lina stepped into a book-lined room, splendid yet welcoming. The room where he’d promised to send her to school. Her gaze darted to the shelf of books she’d been unable to read all those years ago.
Pride stirred. She still preferred the spoken word to the written, but she’d worked hard to become literate.
Was he proud of what she’d achieved? He’d never said. Lina told herself it didn’t matter. She’d done it for herself, not him.
‘Take a seat.’
Obediently she sat, only to find Sayid had planted himself in the centre of the room, feet wide and hands clasped behind his back. His stance projected power and authority, yet the line of his jaw and the set of his shoulders gave the impression of tension.
Memory flashed, of his taut body against hers as he kissed her senseless. But she was the one on edge because of that. He’d taken it in his stride.
‘I’ve been thinking about your future, Lina. You can’t stay here indefinitely.’
It was what Lina had wanted—to get on with her life. Yet, rather than rejoicing, pain tore through her. She wasn’t ready to leave him. Especially after last night. It had been like opening a door and stepping into a whole new glorious world. She felt transformed by what she’d experienced in Sayid’s arms.
Pride and sense came to her rescue. ‘Of course not.’
He nodded, yet his dark eyebrows angled down in the centre of his forehead as if he were displeased. Lina kept her gaze on him. He’d been as much a party to what happened last night as she—more so, given her lack of experience. She refused to feel guilty.
‘I’m glad you agree.’ His mouth curved up at the edges, but it wasn’t a real smile, not like she’d seen earlier this morning. ‘Which is why I’ve decided it’s time to find you a husband.’
Lina’s mouth dropped open. Her eyes popped. Her entire body froze, except her fingers clawing at her chair for support.
Finally, as hurt filled her chest and her vision misted, she remembered to breathe, her lungs heaving, dragging in oxygen. Even then, she felt like she had on that first ever flight, the day she’d left Halarq. As the ground had dropped and the jet had vibrated and dipped before rising into the sky, there was a moment when she’d seemed completely cut off from every reality she’d ever known.
‘Husband?’ Her voice wasn’t her own and she licked her lips, trying to moisten them.
Sayid’s gaze flicked to her mouth then away. Abruptly he moved to take a seat across from her. ‘Most Halarqi women your age are married.’
Lina slumped back in her chair, hefting another breath. He wanted her married and out of his hair.
Why not? Did you think he wants a starry-eyed ward under his feet?
It’s not as if you’re his type. Last night proved that, no matter how wonderful it felt to you.
Logic told Lina it was ridiculous to be hurt that Sayid wanted to see her, not just out of his palace, but shackled to another man. Yet that didn’t stop the deep-seated ache flooding through her.
How could she think about another man when being in the same room as Sayid made her heart race and her body tense with desire?
The notion of kissing another man as she’d kissed Sayid last night, of doing more, made her nauseous.
A lump of cold dread settled in her belly.
‘Since you left your uncle’s house, I’m responsible for you. I’ll do my best to find you a husband you’ll find agreeable.’
Lina blinked, wondering if perhaps she’d hit her head when she’d fallen while dancing with the children. Was there a chance this was a dream?
But this was real. From the stiff back of the gilded chair behind her to the rich carpet underfoot and the distinctive scent of the room—old books and the merest hint of citrus and cedar wood. Sayid’s room, more so than the lavish reception rooms where he made his public appearances.
‘You’ll choose a husband for me?’ Her voice was c
roaky but at least it worked.
‘My staff will assist, but as your guardian I’ll approve the final choice.’
Lina shook her head. He made it sound as if there were hordes of men waiting to be yoked to a woman whose own family had disowned her and whose guardian had never wanted her, even when she’d all but begged for his attention. She didn’t belong anywhere and had nothing to recommend her but a nice face, a talent for languages and some skill at dressmaking.
And as if she wanted a husband.
‘I’ll have them draw up a list.’ Sayid’s voice was clipped. He wanted this over. ‘But if there’s anything or anyone in particular they should consider, now is the time to tell—’
‘No.’ Lina hadn’t consciously formed the word, but sucked in a breath of relief when it stopped his speech.
‘Sorry?’ Sayid’s gaze moved from its focus somewhere across the room to zero in on her face. Lina felt the weight of his stare as surely as a touch. ‘You’re saying you don’t have any suggestions? No likes or dislikes?’
She shook her head, wishing she hadn’t left her hair loose when she went to visit the women this morning. Looking into those dark eyes, and not revealing her desperate longings, took courage. Wearing her hair up would have made her feel less of a country bumpkin before this powerful man in his grand palace.
‘I mean I don’t want to get married.’
Lina saw the flare of disbelief in Sayid’s eyes and hurriedly sat straighter, crossing her ankles and composing her hands in her lap as her mother had taught her. ‘Thank you... Sayid.’ She breathed carefully, willing down the riot of see-sawing emotions. ‘I appreciate your good intentions, but I don’t want a husband.’
‘Don’t want a husband?’ His tone was one of disbelief. Halarqi girls were brought up to think of marriage and babies as their twin goals in life. She even thought she heard an echo of her aunt’s outrage just before she’d harangued Lina about one of her many failings. It was a tone that didn’t invite a response.
Yet Lina couldn’t let this slide. In the beginning she’d been awed by the Emir’s authority and more lately by knowledge of the debt she owed him. And by her own response to him as a man. But this was her life! She simply couldn’t stay silent.
‘No, thank you. It’s very kind of you to bother on my behalf but—’
‘It’s my wish to see you settled with a husband.’ His tone, though even, was that of a man used to having his every whim obeyed. Here was a reminder that despite his generosity, and the decadent magic of his kiss, Sayid was absolute ruler to millions.
She ducked her head, her mind racing for a solution that wasn’t outright opposition.
‘That’s very gracious of you, and I do appreciate it, but I have no intention of marrying.’
Not till I’ve got you out of my system.
To marry another man while her heart and body yearned for this one would be impossible.
There was a flurry of robes as the Emir rose. He turned to pace first towards her then away, to the massive desk piled with folders and papers.
‘You don’t intend to marry.’ Anger threaded his words. ‘Why? Because it doesn’t suit you?’ He swung round and glared at her, pinioning her to the chair.
‘I’m sorry. I—’
‘Is this to do with what happened last night? If so let me be clear. You can’t expect—’
‘I expect nothing!’ Lina shot to her feet, her hands clenched fists at her sides.
Wasn’t it enough that he’d pushed her away then told her that magical kiss had been a mistake?
‘I know you don’t want me. I know that kiss was my fault.’ For she’d been the one pleading with her eyes, the one who’d told him she wanted him. She might not have a lot of personal experience but she understood enough to know that men weren’t always discriminating if women threw themselves at them. He hadn’t really wanted her.
Lina pushed her shoulders back, glaring at him, for the first time not caring about his power or authority. Seeing only the man she wanted, rejecting her yet again.
Her lips crumpled in a derisive smile. First her uncle and aunt had packed her off. Then Sayid. Now he was doing it again. Hopefully one day she’d find someone who wanted her to stay, who didn’t see her simply as an unwanted burden.
Furious tears gathered at the back of her eyes and she blinked, hating the possibility he’d think she felt sorry for herself.
On the contrary, she was proud. She’d worked hard to make something of herself and one day she’d be a brilliant interpreter, in great demand. She’d support herself with her work and have a home and friends. One day she might even fall in love with a man who loved her back.
‘The simple fact is I don’t want a husband. And if ever I do I’ll choose him myself. Thank you.’
He looked down at her with a hauteur she’d never seen in him before. Like a warrior of old confronted with a disobedient slave. Lina swallowed and stood her ground, even as he stepped close enough to loom over her.
She wasn’t a slave any more. He’d released her from that.
* * *
Sayid stared down into Lina’s flushed, vibrant face and forced his clenched hands behind his back. All morning he’d been hyper-aware of her, even as he’d conducted his tour, talking with scores of others. She’d stood silent, a little behind him, but he’d breathed in her light floral scent, been conscious of the stares of others, taking in her beauty. More than once, on turning, his breath had clogged in his lungs as he’d seen her and fought to resist the urge to grab the soft length of her hair, wrap it round his hand and tug her hard against him. He wanted to taste her again, experience the heady combustion of desire when they came together.
But he couldn’t, damn it...because he was doing the decent thing.
And did she thank him for it?
He looked down into flashing violet eyes, the ripe mouth, set in mulish lines, and wondered why even her mutinous attitude was too attractive.
Because he was tired of people deferring?
Or because her fire reminded him of how she’d felt in his arms?
‘While I appreciate your concern for me, it’s unnecessary.’ Her eyes locked with his, no hint of backing down. ‘Halarq is changing. You’ve said it’s good for women to have careers now. That’s what I want.’
Damn her! She had the temerity to quote his own words back at him.
Sayid ground his molars, surprised to discover that while he despised yes-men, he wasn’t keen on disobedience either. ‘There’s no reason you can’t have both a husband and a career.’
‘But I’m not ready for a husband. I want to—’
‘You’re my responsibility. I’ll decide what’s best for you.’
Her head rocked back as if she’d been slapped. Yet he’d said nothing untoward. He had an obligation to see to her security and welfare.
‘I’m twenty-two. Old enough to make decisions about my future.’
She had a point. He’d been treated as an adult since he was fifteen. But then his circumstances were different.
‘Enough!’ Sayid rounded the desk and sat down, occupying the position of power as she stood before him. ‘You can trust me to find you a decent man.’
Instead of reassuring her, his words seemed to detonate her intriguingly volatile temper. He’d had hints of it in the past, like when she’d described her undesirable cousins and when she’d boldly met his gaze when so many wouldn’t. Yet he’d had no notion she could be so easily provoked, except in passion. The knowledge was disturbingly...arousing.
She planted her hands on her hips and her eyes flashed amethyst fire. Her cheeks were rose pink, her lips the colour of mountain cherries.
She looked...incendiary and captivatingly sensual.
‘When I want a man I’ll find him for myself, thank you very much.’ Her chin tipped up. ‘For all your talk o
f modernisation and rights for the disenfranchised, you don’t believe your own rhetoric, do you? You still see women as possessions, unable to make decisions for themselves.’
Sayid was on his feet in a second, palms flat on his desk as he leaned across it towards her. ‘Nothing could be further from the truth.’
‘Then prove it. Don’t dictate to me.’
‘In case you’ve forgotten, Lina, I’m your guardian. It’s my job to make decisions for you.’
If he’d thought his anger would make her back down, he was mistaken. She paled, but instead of subsiding, she paced right up to the other side of his desk, holding his gaze with all the calm composure of a born leader.
Her perfume teased his nostrils. That rich rose scent took him straight back to last night, when the taste of her sweet mouth and the torture of her body against his had driven him to the brink of madness. He’d almost taken her right there on the hard flagstones by the pool.
He shook his head, trying to clear the miasma of desire enveloping him.
‘Damn it, Lina. You’ll do as you’re told!’
She didn’t even flinch. Instead she planted her own palms on the desk and leaned into his personal space, as no one else would dare.
‘Are you saying you’d force me?’ She heaved a breath that made her lush breasts swell against the fitted bodice of her red dress. ‘Are we returning to the days when women were chattels to be bartered between men? I thought you objected to that. Or was all that just fine words?’
Sayid reared back, stunned and furious. Lina couldn’t have got it more wrong. He knew the ugly reality of life for women under his uncle’s outdated regime.
At fifteen Sayid had been all that stood between his beautiful widowed mother and rape then a forced marriage to one of his uncle’s cronies. Rape then a quick wedding being an easy way to acquire a widow’s wealth.
Sayid had stood up to the man his mother had rejected, sword in hand, and fought for her right to choose. He’d fought for his own life too, for her disgruntled suitor had no qualms about killing those who got in his way.
The ancient knife slash up Sayid’s arm throbbed with a phantom pain at the memory.