Tattered Loyalties

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Tattered Loyalties Page 10

by Carrie Ann Ryan


  Gideon finally turned to her, and she held her breath. “Yes.”

  Oh, boy. One word. Watch out, world.

  “Yes? Okay. Is there a special place you guys hunt? How long does it usually go on? Are you going to want me to run next to you?” She blushed at that but continued on. “I know Aunt Mel runs next to Uncle Kade every time she can. It’s not only because it’s tradition, but it’s because she likes it.” She added that last part so he would know she’d seen a true Alpha couple at work. She and Gideon weren’t that couple, but maybe one day they could be friends who talked.

  She wasn’t looking for love. Not anymore. She’d given that up when she’d said yes to Gideon. Honestly, she’d given that hope up all those years ago when she’d seen him outside her window.

  As long as she could live her life in something approaching happiness, she’d be okay.

  She just had to get there first.

  Gideon’s mouth quirked in a smile for a moment, and she felt as though she’d won the lottery with that one gesture. There was a man under all that Alpha. She’d seen a glimpse of him last night. Now she just had to dig deeper to find the rest of him.

  “Yes,” Gideon repeated. “The Pack hunt is tonight. We will start in the clearing outside the circle. It’s within the den and protected by the wards. Since it’s not a full moon hunt, not everyone will be in attendance.”

  Ryder cleared his throat.

  Gideon raised a brow but didn’t move his gaze from hers. “What, Ryder?”

  “Since it’s Brie’s first hunt, there might be more people there than usual.”

  She swallowed hard. Everyone who came would be there for her, wanting to get a peek at the new mate of the Alpha. She only hoped she lived up to their expectations.

  Or surpassed them if they were too low.

  Gideon sighed, and it sounded as though he had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. He did, though, at least the weight of his Pack. Her job would be to help him carry that load if he ever let her. It was only day one though, and she had time to learn how to do her job. Hopefully.

  “Fine. Then there might be a few more wolves than you’re used to, but they’ll watch us shift and start the hunt. It won’t go on for too long, but we can go into the forest and let our wolves roam. We’re going to do it during the day as well because this is different.”

  She nodded, understanding that this was only the first step of many include her.

  “I understand. So when does it start?”

  Gideon frowned then looked over her shoulder at the clock on the wall. “In less than an hour actually.”

  She blinked. That wasn’t a lot of time to get prepared, though it wasn’t as if she really needed anything for the hunt. It was more of preparing herself emotionally. Plus, she really wanted to talk to Gideon alone before they had to strip down in public and shift together.

  Brynn stood up and stretched then gave Brie a smile. “We’ll see you there then. That way you and Gideon can come in together and we’re not all showing up en masse.”

  Brie stood as well, grateful the other woman seemed to be reading Brie’s mind. Eventually, she wanted to get to know Brynn better, but right now, her mating was more important. It was the whole reason she was in this situation after all.

  Soon, everyone left, either giving her a nod or a slight pat on the back on their way out. No one dared to hug or kiss her considering they didn’t know her, plus Gideon’s reaction to Max earlier hadn’t been the most welcome. Wolves might be tactile creatures but there was only so much they could do in the face of a possessive Alpha.

  When they were left alone, Brie turned around to ask Gideon a question, only to see his retreating back.

  “Gideon?” she asked, wondering what he was up to. It would be nice to actually speak to him alone since they were mated. Maybe that was asking too much though.

  “I’m going to go take a quick shower, and then we can head to the clearing,” he answered without even looking back.

  Well then.

  She let out a sigh then went to her notepad and starting jotting down notes. She’d need to get the rest of her things and bring them to the house and do a few more chores so she’d feel as though she was home instead of being a guest at Gideon’s place. Everything would eventually settle down, but it wouldn’t be easy.

  Nothing worth having ever was.

  By the time Gideon finished showering and walked back into the room, she was at her wit’s end. Of course, the fact that he came in with his beard and hair wet, his body filling out his clothes so well that she had to stop from swallowing her tongue didn’t help much.

  Gideon gave her a knowing glance then gestured toward the door. “Let’s head on out. People will probably be getting there early to get a good look at you.”

  Nothing like feeling as though she was on display to get her ready for a hunt. She sighed and stared down at her linen pants and top. She hadn’t brought over much, and it was really all she had left. It wasn’t as though she was going to be in them for long, but she still didn’t feel right in her own skin.

  “Nothing like a bunch of wolves staring down at my every move to help my nerves.”

  Gideon sighed but took a step toward her. She froze as he cupped her cheek, his face drawn. “It’s not going to be easy, Brie. We knew this going in. But I won’t let anyone hurt you on the hunt.”

  Her eyes widened. Honestly, that thought hadn’t even occurred to her. Yes, there were dominance battles on hunts since everyone would be in wolf form, but she’d never had to be part of one. She was a submissive who’d been happy with her standing in the Pack. Things were much different now.

  And even though the thought of him wanting to protect her made her wolf feel all warm and fuzzy, she knew that wasn’t the best way to go about things. Her wolf huffed at her, but some things Brie needed to do on her own.

  “Well, hell. You might need to let me fight for myself then, Gideon. If they come at me, I will have to show I’m worthy enough to be your mate.”

  He shook his head, and her heart fell. “You’re a submissive. You’re not supposed to fight.”

  “But I might have to. You know that. Protecting and coddling me won’t help matters in the long run.”

  “We’ll deal with that when it comes to it. Let’s just get this over with, shall we?”

  She held back her sigh and followed him out of the house, aware that every eye in the Pack was on her. This wasn’t going to be fun, and that was the understatement of the year.

  If Gideon fought for her because he didn’t think she was strong enough to be his mate, this wouldn’t end well. However, she didn’t know how to stop an Alpha from being…Alpha.

  One step at a time, she reminded herself. She was the one who’d offered herself up. Now she had to be the one who dealt with the consequences.

  Even if those consequences involved feeling as if she was alone in a sea of wolves.

  Forever.

  Chapter Eight

  Gideon felt her staring at his back, but he didn’t look around to see her. He couldn’t. He didn’t know what to say to her to make her feel better. He knew he was fucking up this mating thing, but he didn’t know a way around it. He’d never felt so inept, and it was only day one of their mating.

  This didn’t bode well.

  He wasn’t used to answering to others when it came to his choices.

  No, that was wrong.

  All he did was answer to others these days. Whether it pertained to the elders or the rest of the Pack, each of his actions had consequences. The fact that he’d taken a mate would create its own ripple effect. He hoped only that the Pack wouldn’t reject her outright. If he’d been a more ferocious Alpha, he might have held more sway in forcing others to think what he wanted to them to think. If he had been as his father, then he could have forced the others to accept Brie without blinking.

  He hadn’t been that kind of Alpha though.

  He had never been cruel.

&nbs
p; Brie would have to earn her place just like every wolf under his keeping.

  If he had to bleed to protect her, though, he would. She hadn’t asked for this, and he would not let her be hurt because of it. Despite the fact that he’d only just met her, she was his mate. He might not know how to care for her, but his wolf already claimed her as his—as theirs.

  She wanted to fight for herself, but he wasn’t sure she could survive it. Just thinking that made him a horrible wolf, but he’d worry about that later. Right now, all they had to do was shift, run around a bit, and then head back home. They had many other things to worry about, and she needed to officially move in.

  The Pack hunt was just the first of many things they needed to accomplish to move on. There would be obstacle after obstacle, but if he tried hard enough, if she tried hard enough, maybe his pack wouldn’t tear at the seams.

  They were almost to the clearing when he felt Brie slip her smaller hand in his. He almost tripped over his feet but righted himself before he did something idiotic like fall.

  He looked down at their joined hands then at her face.

  “We’re a team,” she said simply, her voice much stronger than he’d given her credit for.

  He nodded then continued moving. He needed to stop counting her out of the game before she’d even tried. He just wasn’t used to anything like this.

  When they reached the clearing, he held back a curse when he realized they were far from the first people there. No, in fact, he was pretty sure almost the entire Pack was already waiting. Some were even in wolf form, as if they couldn’t wait any longer. Some of the maternal wolves, as well as those wolves with small children at home, weren’t there of course. He made a mental note of any wolves that had no real excuse to not be there, just in case. He knew Ryder and Mitchell were probably doing the same. That’s what made them so good in their roles. It wasn’t that the wolves were required to be there, but he had to ensure they weren’t there as some sort of statement.

  He looked down at Brie quickly, only to see her studying the Pack as if she was trying to memorize each face, each nuance of body language. Again, he’d underestimated her. He shouldn’t do it again.

  When they reached their spot between Brynn and Ryder, his siblings gave him a nod, and he pulled Brie closer to his side.

  “Thank you for coming on this Pack hunt with us,” Gideon bellowed out. Every single wolf quieted, their gazes on him and the woman by his side. He felt the tension in Brie’s body, but she kept her chin up and a small smile on her face. It was as if she wanted to show the others she wasn’t afraid of them and, at the same time, showing who she was deep within.

  A submissive at heart.

  “As this is not a moon hunt, you do not need to hunt with the Pack. We want you to roam and be true to your wolves. There will be food at the den center for those who want it. For those of you I may not see later, may the goddess bless your hunts.”

  With that, he tugged Brie closer to him and turned so he could see her face fully. He leaned down so he could whisper and have only those closest to him—his family—overhear his words.

  “We’re on the edge of the circle, not the center, so you can shift at my side and no one will be able to see every inch of you as you shift.” She’d be vulnerable while shifting in the Pack for the first time and he wanted to alleviate any pressure he could. Shifting wasn’t easy. It was a painful process that took minutes, not seconds. Each bone broke and reformed, and muscles and tendons tore and shifted to create a new form. It wasn’t the magic that people thought, but a process that took energy—enough energy that most couldn’t shift more than once a day.

  She tilted her head then reached up and kissed the bottom of his chin. He froze, unaccustomed to such public affection. The softness of her lips against the roughness of his beard made him want to shave so he wouldn’t hurt her. His wolf pushed at him, already so on edge from the upcoming hunt that Gideon had to hold back hard so he wouldn’t take Brie right then and there.

  “Thank you,” she whispered back. “Everything will be fine. Now let’s let our wolves out and let their paws feel the ground.” She put her hand over his chest, and he sucked in a breath. “I’ve never seen you as a wolf before. I’d like to now.”

  He’d never seen her as a wolf either, but as they’d just met, that made sense. He gave her a stiff nod then took a step back. He saw the disappointment on her face, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. His need for her surprised him, and this wasn’t the place. Nor did he think she would welcome his attention considering she was still so fucking innocent.

  He could still remember the feel of her under his body and against his skin, the feel of her clenching around him as she came, screaming his name.

  He cursed again then stripped off his shirt, needing to shift.

  Brie’s eyes followed the movement, and she gave him a sly smile before stepping off to his side so the width of his body could shield her. Nudity didn’t matter much to wolves, but shifting in front of over a hundred strangers while they were all staring at her probably wasn’t the best way to start the hunt.

  He knelt down on all fours and pulled on the bond between him and his wolf. Since he was Alpha, he could shift faster than any of the other wolves in his Pack. He wasn’t sure how the bond between him and Brie would effect her change, but hopefully, it would make it easier on her. That was at least one thing he could provide in this whole mess.

  The shift hurt like hell, but it was a welcome pain. His wolf rejoiced in his new form, their souls melding within their new body. He was a big man, and since he was also Alpha, he was a big wolf as well. His fur was black as pitch and made it easy to hunt at night. He stood out like a beacon in the snow, but there were other ways to get around that.

  He shook off the last of his change and looked down at Brie. She was still shifting, but at least almost done. He studied the color of her fur, surprised to find it pure white. He shouldn’t have been surprised though. It only made sense that fate would give him a pure white wolf as his mate to contrast his pure black coat. Opposite sides of the coin in all ways that mattered.

  Once she finished shifting, she stood up, letting out a small whimper that only he could hear. He quickly licked her muzzle, showing her he was there. From the look of panic in her eyes, the shift must have come on much quicker than she was used to. He should have told her about the possibility before they’d started, but then again, he should have told her a lot of things before she’d become a Talon. There was no going back now.

  He inhaled her scent, letting it flow over him. It somehow calmed and incensed his wolf at the same time, and he knew the mating urge was far from over. If he wasn’t careful, he’d have her against a tree and bury himself deep within her once they shifted back.

  Of course, the idea held merit…and she was his mate.

  From the look in her eyes, she knew where his mind had gone, and he let out a strangled cough before nudging her side. When she didn’t move, he cursed himself then nuzzled her neck before gently biting down. He’d almost forgotten to claim her as his in front of the Pack in the way of their wolves. It wasn’t that it didn’t matter…it was just that he was so comfortable around her and with her by his side, as if she were meant to be there, that he almost skipped steps. Important steps.

  Comfortable wasn’t the right word though, considering he was always on edge around her. His need to protect her and be with her overrode all his good judgments. If he wasn’t careful, he just might find himself falling for his mate.

  An Alpha couldn’t do that.

  It would make her a liability.

  He licked her muzzle then angled his head so he could study his Pack. No one had left since they would be waiting for him to make the first move. Some were still shifting, but most were done, watching him and Brie interact. Startled, he saw that the elders had come as well. They didn’t participate in such events often, but since they were the reason he’d been forced to mate in the first place, it m
ade sense. He also noticed Iona by their side, shifted and her head held high.

  This would not end well if he let Iona anywhere near Brie.

  With that sobering thought, he let out a howl, the sweet melody of Brie’s howl blending with his own before the rest of the Pack joined in. He took off at a run, knowing the others would follow. He needed to burn off his energy as well as keep an eye on Brie. That meant he would not let his wolf go to the forefront of his mind. His wolf seemed to understand that, though, and made it easy for the both of them.

  His paws pounded against the soil and grass at a steady rhythm. He sensed his family and Brie near him, running behind him but close. By the sounds around him, rabbits and other prey scurried away as they caught the scent of the Pack, but he ignored them. Unlike other hunts, he wasn’t chasing animals. This was about the run and keeping an eye on Brie. He slowed down then, letting Brie come up by his side.

  Just as he leaned down to nip playfully at her neck, the scent of other wolves reached them. He stopped completely and pressed his body against Brie’s. She nudged back then took a step away, pushing at him with her nose. It seemed she wanted to say she had this, but he wasn’t sure he could let her go.

  Shannon jumped over a fallen log near them, and he twisted so he could watch her fully. The others would be able to care for Brie in case any one in his Pack came up with the idiotic notion to attack his mate as a sign of dominance.

  She pawed at the ground, ready to pounce, so he slowly walked toward her, leaving Brie in the hands of his family. They would protect her at all costs.

  He had promised it.

  Shannon angled her head, her eyes full of bright anger. There was nothing he could do about that. He’d never been able to make the woman happy since he wasn’t a vengeful psychopath like his father.

 

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