She gave me the worst blowjob of my life and she did actually give me the 50 dollars, babysitting money or something. Turns out, years later I became good friends with her older brother and I found out that at the time the girl was only 13.
I did get caught for the stolen vehicle and the stolen credit card. I was facing 15 years in federal prison for bank fraud but somehow I avoided punishment. I have no idea why but I guess they dropped everything.
TWO GENERATIONS
Simon, 31
All the kids used to ask me, you know because we used to have to shower together, "Why you already got hair on your balls?" and, "Why’s your dick so big?" First time I ever had sex was with my friend’s mom. My friend’s sister blew me and told her mom I had a big dick. So the mom took me in the closet and pulled my pants down. I put my feet up against the door and fucked the shit out of my best friend’s mom.
I have no idea how old the mom was but this was the summer between sixth and seventh grade and I was grown enough to bust a nut.
Then I did the sister too.
NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS
George, 22
I had a party at my house back when I was in high school. I'm sitting on the couch, having a good time and then all of a sudden this girl was all on my piece. She was a friend of a friend from a different school, next town over. And then some kid came and sat in between us, and my buddy was like, "Hey man, you're cock-blocking." He said, "Oh. Sorry. My bad." I think the kid was wasted. Then, later on that night she was just on my shit again. Next thing I knew... she ripped all my clothes off and we had crazy sex all night. I never called her after, she never called me, never talked to her ever again.
A few months later I was leaving on a trip for Spain for seven months. The day I left the morning newspaper said: "Girl Dies Mysterious Death". It was her, the girl from my party. They were speculating it was like a drug overdose, but the actual cause was a mystery. So… the girl I lost my virginity with died like the day before I left for Spain. It really creeped me out. It was really weird that I never saw her again or could never see her again. She was a nice girl but it was just, all right, took my virginity one night, thanks a lot. And then she was dead and I took a plane across the world and kind of started a new chapter of my life. It was a weird fate type of feeling. It creeped me out but it was interesting taking a plane and then showing up somewhere else and it gave me a story to tell when I got there.
But… I don't know, it's also sort of interesting that the person who I lost my virginity to is no longer with us. I can never talk to her about that, can never relate to her about that. You know, so it's just mine, it’s only my experience now. No one else can share in it.
Maybe I wonder if I had called her the next day would she be alive. Sure I’ve thought that, you never know what would have been different. But it was a mysterious death. They never really said. I think she was 17 or 18. Yup. She was hot.
THE DIAGNOSIS
Tammy I, 47
SHAWN WICKENS: So tell me about who it was with...
TAMMY I: I was 22 years old. I was told that I had leukemia and I had just come out of a nunnery and I was a virgin.
SHAWN WICKENS: And you found that you had leukemia so then you left the nunnery?
TI: No, no, no. When I was high school age I went through a nunnery. I eventually chose not to do that anymore, realized it wasn’t for me and left. I was originally from Minnesota but moved to Texas, got a job, and was put in the hospital for exhaustion and when they ran the tests they said that I had leukemia. So while they're in the process of running other tests I'm thinking to myself, "I am not going to die a virgin. Got to figure this out." So I went out and lived a very precarious life for two months but in the process I found a boyfriend, he was living in Houston and I called him up. I was in East Texas. And I said, "You have to come tonight."
SW: How had you met him?
TI: I met him through work. We were both supervisors for an oil company. So he comes over to the house, I drank a huge gallon of wine, not even the good stuff. We were in the throes of passion and he says to me, "Do you have a condom?" And I was like "What would I have a condom for? I'm a virgin." And he says, "Well... what can we use?" He went out into the kitchen and he comes back with a bread bag, which the crumbs were kind of interesting as far as texture goes. And so that is my virgin story… I lost my virginity with a bread bag.
SW: And I guess it worked.
TI: He was 35, I was 22. I was over it. About a month and a half later they told me I did not have leukemia. I only had mono. The doctor told me the properties were the same. I've found out since then that that is not true.
SW: After you found that out were you upset that you were driven to lose your virginity under false pretenses?
TI: No. No. I had a fellow he used to come into my stores all the time, a black truck driver, a short little guy out of Carthage, Texas. Everyone called him Black Magic and he would tell me that I needed the package. Coming out of a nunnery I had no idea what the package was. When I finally got the package it was a revelation for me. Kind of a Catholic revelation story.
I figured out, after the fact that it actually made me live every day for what it's worth. I have no regrets on anything I've ever done, ever said... anything. The sex probably, quite honestly was the best thing that came out of that whole mess.
HOME SCHOOLED
Marius P, 28
MARIUS P: How did I lose my virginity? My mother.
SHAWN WICKENS: Really?
MP: I'm not kidding.
SW: How old were you?
MP: I was eight.
SW: Did you like, know what was going on?
MP: See what happened was... my father sucked so bad in bed that she wasn't about to have her offspring suck in bed.
SW: That's the explanation she gave you?
MP: That was her explanation. Fucked up or not... she taught me how to eat pussy. I'm not kidding you.
SW: How did it happen? Were you just like in bed and...
MP: She’s fucked up. She's got major problems in the head. These days they would consider that child abuse. I consider it child abuse. But now, as an adult, I think it’s the best goddamn thing she ever taught me. So what can you do?
SW: How did she start it?
MP: I recall her coming home drunk... then she put my hand on the fucking table and played fucking chicken with a knife. That's how it got started. Crazy fucked-up shit. It's a fucked-up way but... you know, what can you say? Shit happens.
***
I was losing terribly at Monopoly, very badly. This other girl had Park Place, but I had Boardwalk. So I offered her oral sex for Park Place and two grand in Monopoly money. We went into the bathroom. That's how it began.
Brody, 21
New York, New York
***
THE UNIVERSE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS
Taryn, 24
I was 13 and mad at my parents so I ran away from home. I can’t even remember what the fight was about. It was really just an excuse to go to my room early so I could sneak out my window and catch a train to meet a guy from a different state.
He was a drug dealer from Florida that I met through friends of friends. He was into the rave scene, listened to the Dead Kennedys and The Chemical Brothers and sold crystal meth, ecstasy, and ketamine. At the time I did nothing harder than weed.
He had a very complicated family situation and he was in Connecticut for the weekend visiting his parents and step parents or something. So my girlfriend and I took the Metro North train from Grand Central up to somewhere in Connecticut. He picked us up and drove us somewhere, all I remember was it was by the water; a one-bedroom studio, a very temporary kind of setup. I’m a gentlewoman and my man was a gentleman so we let his friend and my friend take the bed. The drug dealer and I took the closet.
It was a closet with those sliding doors, so we laid down on the carpet and slid the door shut. Like I said, I was 13 and I had never really done it before. I’m
a small person and was even smaller years ago. He was at least five years older and over six feet tall, so he was a weight to bear.
We discussed it briefly beforehand. It was consensual, it was safe. There was a lot of pain and suffering but I got through it with rug burns and it was a beautiful experience. He asked if it hurt. I said, "Yes," and he said, "OK. That’s probably normal." I was shocked at how sweet he actually was about it, given my stereotype of drug dealers at the time.
Then this whole weird episode turned unfortunate because my parents managed to track me down to tell me my Great Aunt Gerda had died. She was an amazing woman who moved to the Lower East Side after escaping from Nazi Germany. She settled down with a jeweler, became a jeweler herself. Anyway that’s who died the night I lost it. Talk about feeling responsible for something in the cosmic sense. You know, being a self-centered person at the time, I thought I had something to do with it. So I came home.
I was expecting to never hear from the guy again, but he started persistently calling me. The guy got so attached so I swore never to give my number out on a one-night stand again. I never ran away from home again either. I suppose that was less of a conscious decision and more of a lack of need. I got my space from my parents anyway because after that incident they sent me off to boarding school.
GIRLS GONE WILD
Frank, 23
We used to party over at my buddy’s place. His parents were straight off the boat from Poland; both PhDs, both very intelligent people. One was a raging alcoholic, the other barely spoke a word of English. The dad would be 16 drinks deep by the time we’d get to the place. He used to drive drunk into town and pick up steak filets and beer for us. Go back to the house and we’d have raging barbecue keggers.
The parents were successful business people. They had a hot tub, which was perfect for us. I guess the parents just didn’t give a fuck what we did. The mom would walk around topless in just her underwear. The dad built his own stereo systems and we used to chill out with him and listen to music. I actually got into the Rolling Stones because of him.
This was in high school about the time people started hooking up with each other and everything. Two girls and I, we were hanging out in the hot tub. We were all friends and I had fooled around with one of them before. They were best friends and pretty drunk and we were all in our underwear. They started making out first, then we all started making out. Well, I asked them to make out. You know this was in high school so you could be very up front with girls if it was in a comfortable situation. I had one of the girls wrap her legs around the other girl’s torso. The other one’s making out with her, feeling the tits. I start banging her.
We’re going at it, I’m doing the one girl and I hear the voice of my good friend, Larry. I look over and I see Larry and with some other guys like peaking in, watching us. And Larry is looking very intently to see if my shit is in there or if we’re just dry humping. Larry’s like, "Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. It’s in there guys." He starts clapping then they all start clapping. I’m doing the one girl then it was like, "OK, here we go," the other girl hops on. I’ve been tested since but this was all unprotected sex. We were pretty drunk. We finished up and then the second girl got out of the tub crying because apparently she liked me for real. So I think she was sitting there watching me with the first girl, getting very jealous and that’s why she was willing to hop on.
I had hooked up with another girl in the hot tub the week before. But that was like four of us in the hot tub, girls and guys. As far as I knew, that time with me and the two girls was the first hot tub sex, unless the mother and father probably had done it.
The whole thing lasted maybe 15, 20 minutes until the one girl got fed up and couldn’t handle being in her own head and went in the shower and freaked out. In retrospect I feel very bad about the whole situation because she was very upset. She wasn’t very attractive. Her friend, the first one, was extremely attractive. When the second girl got out and ran into the shower I told the first girl, you know, let’s go in there to try to talk it all out.
The one girl gave excellent blowjobs. That was the one who wasn’t very attractive. That’s how they always get you, you know what I mean? The real hot ones, they’re the ones who just don’t know how to do it. The sex itself was under water, it wasn’t very pleasurable. It basically turned into, "Look guys! I’m having sex!" The shower was a little bit better because we kissed a little bit more but what was just because we were all wasted.
Later on that night I was sitting with the guy’s dad who owned the place, feeling proud of myself and he played some AC/DC and this song called "Rasputin" by Boney M. It’s a good song. I’ll never forget that. The downside is that I was feeling proud of myself for doing a very horrible thing. I’ve grown up since then.
It was basically a disaster but at the same time I did lose my virginity to two girls in a hot tub. If they were in front of me right now and asked if I wanted to do it again, I would. But… I’ve forgiven myself and I’ve accepted absolution and I think I’m all right.
Chapter 2
"HOW DO YOU PUT THESE THINGS ON?"
My memory on learning how to properly use a condom is hazy. I would like to say that I received my first lesson in high school health class. But I think the first time I witnessed a condom "used" was when a sex ed teacher demonstrated putting one on a banana in some movie, or it may have even been in an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I can’t remember exactly.
I can, however, say with some degree of confidence that my generation witnessed, grew up during, the condom explosion. Because of HIV/AIDS, the increase in teenage pregnancy, it made conversations about condoms imperative. I can recall when SPIN Magazine included a free condom in one of its issues, causing headlines and stirring up debate. I remember the first time I saw a commercial for Trojan condoms on MTV and people called it scandalous.
Nowadays free condoms are available on most college campuses and many high schools. The importance of protected sex has become so ingrained in our collective consciousness, even some bars leave them out. Condoms are part of the process, the experience, it’s even part of the foreplay.
Here now are a few more reminders of the physically safe way to approach intercourse, in which condoms played an important role in the stories themselves.
THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
Derek, 30
I’m from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, maybe a four or five-hour drive from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was a trip we’d make maybe on a quarterly basis. My friend Bob’s parents owned a beach house there so a bunch of us 17-year-olds went to Myrtle Beach, which I guess would be an appropriate setting for some people to lose their virginity. Really it’s just a very cheesy place.
There was me, Bob, Nate, Ed, and Terry. On the first night of a weekend trip we were hanging out on the beach smoking some dope and we met these girls who were about our age. Our buddy Terry was two years older than us and knew someone who could get us beer, or one of the girls was able to get us beers. Whoever got it, we took a bunch of beers to this girl’s place where there wasn’t any parental supervision.
I connected with this one girl and I was definitely nervous because I could see where the progression was going. I was still a virgin because I had just broken up with a girlfriend of two years who wanted to wait until marriage.
Everyone was playing a drinking game, which loosened me up a bit. I don’t remember exactly what took us from that level to the next, but she said to me, "Let’s go check out my room." We went to her room and started to hook up total high school style. I wanted to try to have sex but I didn’t know if it was a possibility so I excused myself. I went up to Terry and asked him, "Do you have any condoms?" I go back to the room and we’re finally making progress.
It gets to the point where we’re naked and I think, "All right. It’s all or nothing at this point." I put on the condom, make the move, and honest to God I lasted maybe nine seconds.
I don’t know how I kept it together but I said,
"Aw, shit. Hold on one second." She was just getting into it and she was like, "What? What?" Not knowing what to do, I stalled and blurted out, "I think the rubber broke." I went back out to the living room and asked Terry, "Do you have another condom? He was like, "Why?" I was like, "Just give me another condom if you have one," thinking I could buy enough time to work myself back up. I got another condom and went back to the room but I had lost it. It so wasn’t going to happen. The girl just looked at me and asked, "Do you want to go out and play the rest of the drinking game?" It was the greatest thing she could have said to me. I didn’t know how to segue out of there but she did it for me and let me off the hook.
***
Some Japanese condoms are a little bit smaller and a lot of guys in Japan will sort of brag secondhand about the size of their penis by saying they have to order their condoms over the Internet. But you can find international condoms in any convenience store.
Stan, 26
How to Lose Your Virginity ...and how not to (Real Stories about the First Time) Page 2