Ryan went straight to the living room area and set Brady in his carrier on the coffee table. He turned to her. “I came to apologize.”
No preamble. No hesitation. No falsities. She'd noticed that was typical of the Millen brothers.
Crossing her arms over her chest, she took her stubborn stance. One she used on her brother and cousin numerous times throughout her life.
“The things I said, I never should have and didn’t mean.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “I mean, I did mean those awful words at the time, but they’re words I never should have spoken.” He sighed, rubbed the back of his neck, and slumped onto the sofa. “You see, Lynn, I didn’t want kids or my own family. I made that decision a little over a year ago. I’ve witnessed too much heartache with those around me and decided I didn’t want to go through all that. It’s easier to enjoy a single life and enjoy my brother’s and cousin's family life. I get to live vicariously through them. At least that was the plan.”
She was absolutely dumbfounded. How did a man come to such a narrow-minded conclusion? “Do you realize how absurd that is?”
“Yeah.” He had the grace to admit. “Now I do.”
“You’re telling me you spent the last four days doing a complete 180?” She found that hard to believe.
He looked up to her, his eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t decipher. “I thought I killed Brady.”
“What?” she breathed, rushing to Brady’s side and checking him over. She plucked him out of the carrier and protectively held him close to her chest. Total mamma bear, she knew, but to hell with it, she felt she had a rightful claim on him. “What happened?”
“I was a mess after you came to the bar. I went home and fed Brady in bed. I fell asleep with him in my arms.”
“Oh God.”
“I woke in a fog, then suddenly realized he wasn’t on my chest. I can’t even begin to explain the pure panic that consumed me. I thought I killed him by rolling on top of him. Turns out Sean found us and took Brady to his crib, but in that moment, I thought I killed my son. I thought I lost him, Lynn,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I thought I lost him. When I found him sleeping in the crib, the profound relief that he was all right tore right through me. I lost it. It was then I knew.”
He’d stopped.
Knew what?
She waited for him to finish. When he didn’t, she pressed further. “Knew what?”
“Knew that I loved him.”
She fell in love with Ryan Millen at that moment. To own up to his feelings about having a child, and then admit when he’d realized he loved his son, even though it wasn’t an instantaneous bond, took an enormous amount of inner strength. Some men never came to that adult conclusion and instead fought it their entire lives. Some men walked away from their responsibilities without a backward glance. Some men would have cowered under the pressure of not wanting a baby and handed him off. Yes, Ryan had been forced into fatherhood by his brother and sister-in-law, but that still hadn’t made him a father. He’d denied it. Fought it. Shunned it. But the man seated before her was entirely different than the one she’d confronted four days ago. This was the man and father she knew he could be. Even if he dressed his son in a ridiculous clown outfit.
“Will you come back? I’m sorry, Lynn. I’m sorry for all I said, for all I haven’t done. I’m sorry you’ve stepped into a role that shouldn’t be placed upon you. I’m sorry for everything. But I need you. Brady needs you. Please come back.” He was begging, and it was a sight she’d never thought she’d witness from the stubborn man.
“So you’re on board with being a dad?”
“Yes.” He eyed his son in her arms and smiled, it reaching those amazing blue eyes.
“We’re never going through this again?”
He held up his hand. “On my honor.”
She cocked a brow.
“All right, all right,” he relented. “Maybe not on my honor, but I promise.”
She sighed, placing a gentle kiss on Brady’s bald head. “I guess I’ll come back.”
Taking her completely off guard, he jumped up and tossed his muscular arms around her, squeezing her and Brady in a tight hold.
“Thank you,” he said softly into her ear, sending delicious shivers down her neck and spine.
Oh no.
16
“How was he today?” Ryan asked Lynn. He'd been keeping a physical distance from her all week, but he couldn't do it any longer. She'd consumed his thoughts. Day and night. Wide awake or out for the count. And each day when he thought he'd be fine, she'd walk through the door, wearing her yoga pants and a simple tee shirt, looking disheveled and entirely edible.
Since her return, they’d been a tiny family. His tiny family. One that he hadn’t planned but now wanted. Man, he wanted Lynn. Wanted her for himself. Wanted her to belong to him. Wanted her in his house, in his bed, in his life twenty-four seven. A novel idea right?
He was sick of the stupid cat and mouse game they’d been playing for over a month. There was an obvious physical attraction. Each brush of their hands, bump of the shoulder, exchange of a bottle, made his body stir to life. Hell, she walked into the room, flicked her long hair over her shoulder and he was a goner. His brother and Mr. Connors had been smacking him upside the head nonstop for the past week.
“Perfect,” she said. “I just laid him down for his nap.” Another personality draw towards her. Lynn adored his son. The way she treated him, like a mamma bear protective of her cub, Ryan found extremely attractive. It felt as if she was accepting him by adoring his son. And by him, he meant him. Not his good looks, hard body, stellar personality. Him. His imperfections along with his strengths.
“Where is everyone?” Usually the house was bustling with the Mike and Jill and his brother arriving home from work.
“They're all at the Connors. They had to take Beth there because Mike and Jill were getting baby furniture delivered today,” she answered, pouring formula into bottles.
“Let me help you,” he offered.
“Thanks.”
He stepped up next to her, and that alluring, subtle floral scent wrapped around his head in an obliterating chokehold. Their shoulders bumped when she pushed the bottles over to be lined. Dutifully he put each plastic liner into the bottles and pulled the flaps over the edge to secure them in place. They worked silently but efficiently together, filling a total of ten bottles.
Lynn took the bottles to the fridge and placed them on the top shelf. As she bent over, her yoga pants slid down, revealing a black lace thong. Ryan closed his eyes and prayed for control, but his body had different ideas. For the first time in weeks, his dick stirred to life.
She stood and spun to face him. She blinked, shocked. Whatever expression he wore took her off guard.
“Lynn,” he said, his voice husky.
“Yeah?” she asked, her voice shaky.
“I can't...I can't stop thinking about you. All the fucking time, Lynn. Day and night. I want you,” he blurted.
She stood motionless, staring at him. “Ryan,” she protested.
He took two long strides towards her, grabbed her around the waist, and assaulted her mouth with a blistering kiss. There was no possible way he could be gentle. He fucking wanted her in the worst way. Gripping her hair, he tugged, forcing her to open for him. She didn't resist. Her hands slid up and around his neck as she pressed her ample breasts against his chest. His hands roamed down to her firm ass, picked her up, and wrapped her long legs around his waist. Without a second thought, he carried her upstairs to his bedroom. A place where he'd bedded too many women. A place he never held sacred.
What a mistake that'd been.
To lie Lynn down on the same bed that he'd fucked every fine piece of ass he'd come into contact with over the years should be wrong. But he couldn't think about that right now. Not with her grinding against his rock hard erection.
Rushing up the steps, his mouth never left hers. As soon as he entered his bedroom, he fell o
nto her, pinning her to the bed. Their bodies writhed together in perfect synchronization. His lips worked down her neck, nipping and sucking. Her soft hands slid under his scrubs and scored his firm, muscular back. He didn't think it was physically possible, but he grew harder and his body twitched under her touch.
Breaking contact, he shot upright, tore off his shirt and tossed it aside. Hers was next, baring flawless sun-kissed skin. She didn't wait for him. Lynn sat up and unhooked her bra, exposing her perfect breasts. His mouth descended upon a nipple, sucking hard, rolling it between his teeth. She arched into him, pushing her breast further into his hot mouth. He happily obliged, taking as much of her C's into his mouth as he could consume while he massaged her left breast, pinching the nipple. Her moans filled the room, her hands were uncontrollable, roaming up and down his back and punched through him. There wasn't any possible way he could control himself.
This wasn't some random young woman he picked up at the bar. This wasn't some one-night-stand he'd toss away in the morning. This was Lynn. She'd somehow worked her way into his life, into his mind, and now into his bed. She was different than the rest of those women who didn't hold a candle to her. She had the potential to bring him to his knees.
In true Ryan fashion, there was no foreplay. He wasn't a fan of it. He liked to get down and dirty and to the point. Reaching down, he hooked his fingers into the band of her yoga pants and worked them, along with the thong, off her slim legs. Throwing the pants out of his way, he stood and shucked his scrubs, his eyes raking over her body. She was perfect. Impeccable. Thin limbs, flat stomach, tan like she just got off the beach, and a tiny splattering of dark, groomed hair at the apex of those attractive thighs.
Ryan scrambled for a condom from the bedside table drawer. Quickly sheathing himself, he then positioned himself over her. Taking her right leg and hiking it over his hip, he hovered, a tiny voice somewhere in the back of his mind screamed he shouldn't.
“Please, Ryan.” Lynn writhed beneath him.
Ignoring every rational thought, he plunged into her body and stilled. Thank fuck she'd been ready for him or else that could have been a disaster for them both.
Lynn ground her body, silently asking him to move. So he did. Hard and fast he plowed into her body again and again. Those fantastic hands of hers worked down to his ass, gripped firmly, and pulled him closer with each thrust. The erotic sounds of their bodies merging bounced off every surface. Her scent mixed with sex surrounded him. Her body engulfed his, sucking him in deeper. He lost himself in her. Leaning down, he took her mouth in a scorching kiss. She returned his kiss with a fiery attack. With every motion she met him head on. This wasn't a girl allowing him to get off because she thought that was how she'd nab him. No, Lynn was taking what her body craved. Him. And that realization pushed him over.
“Lynn,” he ground out. “I can't last.”
At his words, she exploded around him, her fluids flowed down his shaft, her body convulsed around his, clamped down and pulled him to her hilt. Ryan exploded then stilled. His muscles in his entire body strained as he emptied into the condom. A seemingly never ending flow poured out of his body. He'd never come so violently.
Collapsing on top of Lynn, they both heaved, their lungs desperate for air.
This changed everything.
17
Lynn recognized she was in serious trouble. What the hell happened? It was as if her brain completely shut down, and her girl parts had taken over. Girl parts that hadn't seen action in a very long time. At their current state, they were extremely grateful for Ryan's obscenely fantastic sex talents.
She closed her eyes as Ryan ran a soft finger up her ribcage, over the swell of her left breast, then over the swell of her right.
“You're beautiful,” he said softly. “You know that, right?”
She turned her head to face him. Propped up on his elbow, his naked body on his side, he was an Adonis laid out before her. His perfect eight pack and that lickable V showed how much he worked out in the game room gym. Those muscular thighs displayed the physical power he possessed.
“Ryan, we should talk about this.”
He shook his head. “Don't.”
“Don't what?” She furrowed her brows.
“Don't question this. If you do, we won't come up with anything that says this was a good plan.”
“This wasn't a plan.”
“You know what I mean.” His finger ran up her neck to her cheek. “Lynn, I've wanted you for too long now. We have a connection here. You know we do. I can't be the dumbass thinking something's there when it's not, can I?” His tone sounded unsure, mimicking her feelings.
“I've felt it, I just don't know what good could come of this,” she admitted.
He smirked, those mischievous eyes dancing with humor as he grabbed her hand, placed it on his growing erection, and guided her to stroke him. “I can tell you what good can come.”
She playfully smacked his chest. “I'm serious.”
Suddenly she was pinned to the mattress, her hands held above her head, and her mouth surrounded by his inferno kiss. Slowly he entered her body that instantly primed for him.
“Try and tell me we aren't good together. We've been good together for close to a couple months.” He moved slowly, dragging his length that grew harder by the stroke almost entirely out of her body, then with an achingly slow pace he pushed back in, hitting her womb. “Don't deny it. Just go with it. We'll figure it out as we go along.”
She arched into him, pushing her breasts upward, needing his mouth on her overheated skin. “What about other women?”
He stilled. Well, that couldn't be good.
“What other women?”
“You're a playboy, Ryan.” She moved her hips but his super strength kept her from budging.
He grabbed her chin to look directly into her eyes. “Not if I have you.”
She blinked, surprised.
“Not if I have you,” he whispered again then assaulted her mouth and started a relentless pounding rhythm into her body, bringing her to the edge rapidly. His fingers dug into her hips as he lifted her pelvis and ground into her, hitting her sensitive spot dead on, sending her into a body wrenching orgasm. She dug her fingers into his straining forearms and screamed his name. Three more bed moving strokes and Ryan went rigid, his body straining, as he grunted and emptied himself into her body.
“Fuck,” he yelled.
“What?”
“I didn't use a damn condom.”
She reached up and grabbed his face. The panic written over his features was vivid enough that she needed to calm him. “I'm on the pill, Ry. I'm okay. It's okay.”
He shook his head. “But I used a condom with Brady. I always use them and still got a woman pregnant.”
“Shhhh.” She ran her hands up and down his bare, hard chest. “I promise you it will be all right. Don't do this to yourself.”
He collapsed and wrapped her up in his arms, buried his face into the crook of her neck, but remained connected. It was the single most intimate moment she'd ever experienced with a man. One she refused to break. The feel of Ryan in her arms was perfect. The feel of running her hands up and down his finely toned back was heaven. She kissed his cheek and ear. In some ways Ryan exhibited a vulnerability that conflicted with his character. A vulnerability she wanted to protect him from.
Shit, she was quickly falling in love. Too quickly.
***
“You what!” Russ bellowed, his voice echoing off every surface of the Murphy kitchen. And she'd thought Ryan's kitchen was expensive. This one was designed for a gourmet chef.
“Shush.” Lynn felt her face burn. Certainly everyone heard. Especially asshole, tattooed jerk.
On cue, the man sauntered into the room and raised a brow. “I'm even more impressed by you, sweetcheeks.”
“Get the fuck out of here, Derk,” Russ ground out. “This is a family discussion.”
Derk picked up an apple off the center island an
d sauntered out of the room. Great. Just great.
“I told you not to get involved with him. You go and sleep with him?” her brother seethed. “How the fuck did that happen?”
Lynn paced the kitchen. Luckily Courtney snatched Brady up as soon as she'd walked through the door and the kids followed her outside to the backyard, where Mr. Murphy lounged.
She had no response. Well, she had one but didn't think her brother would be too keen with it.
“Lynn,” Russ snapped.
She spun to face her brother. How tired was she of keeping her feelings hidden? “I'm in love with him.”
“What?” Jarrett asked, stunned. He'd stood off to the side, arms crossed over his wide chest, and remained mute the entire time. Well, until now.
She slumped down into a rot-iron dinette chair. “I'm in love with him. It happened. I didn't plan on it.”
“Does he know? For God's sake, Lynn, he's a manwhore. I expected better from you.” Russ put the knife straight into her heart.
Silently she stood, snatched Brady's items and stuffed them into his bag.
“Lynn.”
Ignoring her brother, she marched out of the kitchen and out of the house into the back yard.
“Lynn.”
She refused to acknowledge her cousin. Down the steps and straight to the Murphys, who gathered around a table under a canopy. She strode with purpose, her brother and cousin on her heels.
“Please, Lynn, don't make a scene,” her brother pleaded from behind.
She approached the group. “Mrs. Murphy, I'm sorry but I have to leave.”
“But you just arrived?”
Derrick cocked a brow, then looked between the three of them. Crap. That man was profoundly too observant.
“I know.”
“Is everything all right?” Mr. Murphy asked, though it sounded more on the demand side.
“Yes, Mr. Murphy.”
Courtney reluctantly handed Brady off to her. “I'll be back in a couple of days, I'm sure.” She turned and looked Russ and Jarrett in the eye. “Do not follow me,” she snarled through clenched teeth.
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