I exhaled a sigh of relief. The situation did not sound nearly as bad as the scenarios my mind had conjured up. “Good job, son. Now, let’s get back to your mom.”
Twenty minutes later, I pulled up to the hospital and parked. When we reached the entrance, my heart was thumping so hard in my chest I could feel it. By the time we were getting off the elevator on the labor and delivery floor, my hands had a slight tremor to them. My breath froze in my chest as I walked down the hall to her door, and I didn’t breathe again until Seth opened her door. I walked through to see her lying there, beaming at me.
I headed straight to her side, covered her mouth with my own, and kissed the living daylights out of her. When she moaned into my mouth, I pulled away and rested my forehead against hers.
“Hey, baby. Looks like I got here in time, huh?” My hand roamed down to cover her bulging belly where I stroked circles. A little bump hit my palm, and I laughed. “Looks like our girl is still tryin’ to kick her way out of there.”
Belle laughed. “Something like that. I’m guessing you came straight here.”
Pulling back from her, I murmured, “Of course. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
She scrunched her nose. “I love to hear that honey, but your uniform is covered in stuff that I don’t want to identify at the moment. Maybe you should go take a quick shower before somebody else gets a good look at you.
Looking down at my clothes, I cursed. In my race to get to her, I hadn’t thought about what I was wearing or what might be on it. Belle was right; there were some splatters on it from Russia. I refused to leave her side, though, so what the hell was I going to change into? I refused to wear one of those stupid hospital gowns with my ass hanging out of the back.
“You think they would give me a pair of scrubs to wear?” I asked hopefully.
Belle rolled her eyes and shook her head at me. “I put a change of clothes for you in my bag, just in case.” She pointed to the other closed door in my room. “That’s the bathroom, and there is a shower in it. Go use it, mister. I refuse to let you hold our little girl if you’re covered in questionable substances.”
I chuckled at her command while giving her a kiss. “Be right back, sweetheart.”
Grabbing the clothes Seth was holding out to me, I went into the bathroom and took a shower so fast I possibly set some world record. It sort of reminded me of my boot camp days. Then I bagged up my uniform in a trash bag I found in a compartment under the sink and set it on the floor while I got dressed. Emerging from the bathroom in worn jeans and a gray Army T-shirt, my boy handed me socks and tennis shoes then took my trash bag, shoving it in a side compartment on his mom’s bag.
Just as I was about to sit in the chair and put my socks and shoes on, the nurse came into the room. I watched surreptitiously as she checked some of the machines attached to Belle, jotted down notes on her clipboard, and then shuffled out of the door.
Looking up, I scanned the room. Both Seth and Jenkins were sitting in chairs on the opposite side from me, watching some crime drama on the television, while Belle was napping. The room was much larger than I had expected. Belle had told me this new hospital had what was called ‘birth room suites,’ but I had never imagined it would be anything like this.
Silently scooting my chair closer to her bed, I sat down and laced my fingers through hers. I might be a little nervous about Belle pushing the baby out and what Lucas had said on the plane, but I figured, since women had been doing this since the dawn of time, everything was going to be okay.
Right?
Chapter
4
Hell hath no fury like a woman induced into labor.
“You super sperm carrying mother fucker! Get your ass over here so I can rip your balls off!”
Belle was screaming every obscenity invented by man and few I was pretty sure she had come up with on her own. My beautiful, serene, glowing fiancée had been replaced by a woman who could make the toughest men stand across the room to protect their assets.
The nurse slowly side-stepped from the room’s doorway over to me, keeping her wary gaze on the woman who was screeching like a banshee on the bed. “Sir, should I call a priest in to perform an exorcism?”
I turned my head to consider the nervous nurse’s suggestion. Short of Belle turning her head three hundred sixty degrees and vomiting green shit, I had to admit she was sort of acting like a demonically possessed hellion.
Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I managed to grab the nurse’s shoulder, forcing her to duck down with me as the object flew over our heads, hit the wall with a bang, and then clattered to the floor.
Hesitantly, I looked over at the now still projectile to see what it was and shuddered. Belle’s bedpan. Sweet mother of God, the woman really was possessed.
“Hey! Assholes! Stop gossiping like little girls and get over here and get this kid out of me!” Her eyes were blazing with pain and fury, her blonde hair was a messy halo around her head, and she didn’t have a lick of make-up on. She looked like she had marched through war and back.
She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, though.
And temporarily fuck-nuts crazy, too.
Standing and pulling the nurse up with me, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared back at the woman I loved. “If you had taken the drugs, you wouldn’t be in so much pain, baby. You were the one who insisted on doing a natural birth.”
“Then I’ve changed my mind, jackass! Give me the damn drugs, and give them to me now!”
After the last of her roar died down, the nurse leaned over and whispered, “The evidence is quickly mounting that an exorcism needs to be performed.”
“Fuck the exorcism, lady, just give her the drugs,” I ground out.
The woman flinched then took a slow step away from me. “I’m afraid that your fiancée’s labor is too far along to give her an epidural. Last time the doctor checked her cervix, she was already dilated at seven centimeters, and her contractions are now regular. He’ll be back in a few moments to deliver your baby.” The nurse scurried out of the room as fast as she could, leaving me alone with the deranged woman on the bed.
Seth chose that moment to walk through the door with a coffee in hand. Just as he cleared the door, his eyes bugged and he yelled, “Duck, Dad!”
I didn’t duck fast enough to miss the missile that was aimed at my head. Thankfully, it was Belle’s pillow, so it was enough to whack me to get my attention, though not enough to take me out.
Facing my woman, I threatened, “Throw one more thing at me, and I’m going to have the nurses restrain your hands to the fuckin’ bed.”
Belle started to open her mouth to reply, but a contraction hit her hard, and her body seized up as she moaned in pain.
Rushing over to her side, I grabbed her hand to try to offer her some comfort. “Breathe, baby. Breathe through it.”
Her hand clamped down around my fingers, squeezing hard enough that it felt like my digits were being crushed in a vise. I refused to complain about it, though. Belle was about to push the equivalent of a bowling ball out of her vagina. A few broken fingers seemed to pale in comparison.
As Seth showed up on the other side of the bed and grabbed her hand, I noticed she didn’t squeeze the utter shit out of his hand.
Her contraction finally waned, and she collapsed back on the bed. Panting, she grumbled, “I’m not so sure about that football team of kids you want to have, Bobby. My whoo-ha can only take so much before I hang a permanent closed sign on it.”
Not intimidated the least bit by her threat, I scoffed, “Not happening, sweetheart. Next baby, I’ll make you take drugs if I have to hold you down while they administer them. We made a deal, and you’re stickin’ to it.”
I had completely forgotten our son was in the room until he stepped up to the other side of the bed with a curious look on his face. “Just how many kids did you promise to have, Mom?”
Belle huffed, “One more aft
er this one.”
Seth’s lips tipped up in amusement. “What’s that you like to say to me: ‘suck it up, buttercup’?”
Belle frowned at our boy. “You know what other phrase they say? ‘I brought you into this world, so I can take you out of it.’ ”
I tried to hold in the snort of laughter, but I lost the fight, earning me a glare from Belle.
“Laugh it up now, Bobby. I hope the next baby is a girl, too. Then you’ll be surrounded by a house full of women!”
I felt my face pale. “Don’t say that, woman. Take it back.”
Now it was Belle who was laughing silently. “What’s wrong, Bobby? Afraid of the idea of a couple of little girls?”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “You give me two girls, and it’s you who should be afraid when I start looking into nunneries.”
She scoffed. “You wouldn’t.”
I snorted. “Bet me, woman. First boy that calls or shows up at the house, I start looking into convents. It’s either that or follow our little girl everywhere she goes. I’ll be damned if some horn dog pip squeak gets his hands on my girl.”
“No you won’t, Bobby Baker! My little girl is going to live her life without the shadow of her daddy following her everywhere she goes!”
“Watch. Me,” I ground out.
“Watch me order a lifetime supply of birth control then,” she threatened back.
“You wouldn’t.”
Belle gave me an incredulous look.
“Don’t worry, Dad. You don’t need to be so overprotective of my little sister.”
Belle beamed at our boy, almost as if she knew he would take her side in the argument.
The betrayal! My own son was turning against me! I shot Seth a dark look yet stopped at the sly look on his face.
“You won’t have to follow her, because I will. And, if you think I’m going to let some loser touch my baby sister, then you’re sadly mistaken, Mom.”
Belle’s face fell. “I’m going to have to sneak my baby out of the house for fun.”
I shook my head. “Just accept that she’ll be loved, protected, and cherished, sweetheart. Is that so bad?”
A contemplative look crossed her face before she pouted. “I guess not.” Determination suddenly took over, and she snapped at me, “But, if I see you pulling some crazy commando shit like dropping out of trees with your rifle to scare her boyfriend’s, I’m going to wallop you a good one, Bobby Baker!”
Our discussion was cut short when the doctor walked in. “Time to check Mom again!” he chirped a little too happily, sending my hackles rising.
To say I was not exactly thrilled that another man was looking at my woman’s private parts was an understatement. I didn’t care if she was about to deliver our baby. Those were my private parts. I owned them, dammit! I didn’t like some too chipper degree carrying jackoff looking at them. I was a possessive bastard, and I didn’t mind showing it.
I gave the doctor the stink eye as he pulled his stool up to the end of the bed and motioned for Belle to spread her legs so he could get a look. It took everything I had not to snap his neck as he checked her dilatation, cervix, and the baby’s positioning.
Doctor Jackoff gave a couple of “uh-huhs” before he finally took his hands of my woman’s fun parts and sat back to take off his gloves and address us. “You’re dilated nine centimeters now and the baby is in the right position. Looks like we’re about to have a baby, Mom and Dad! Now let me just check the ctg machine to see how her contractions are coming along.”
As the doctor stepped up to the machine in question, a contraction racked Belle’s body. She jackknifed up off the bed and screamed out in pain. Unfazed, the doctor watched the machine spit out the readings.
When Belle was done screaming, he simply stated, “Well, now, that one was off the chart.”
By the killer look she gave him, I was pretty sure Belle was ready to strangle the doctor if she could have physically gotten out of bed.
The doctor then walked over to the door, said a few words to somebody, and minutes later, the room was filled with equipment, the doctor, and two nurses prepping.
Belle’s contractions were coming regularly and close together. By now, she was panting, and when she wasn’t panting, she was cussing.
After the doctor sat back down on his stool at the end of the bed, Seth leaned forward and kissed his mother on the forehead. Somewhat nervous, he muttered, “Love you, Mom. Really do, but the last thing I want to see is my sister coming out of there. I’d be scarred for life. So I’m going to leave now, and I’ll be back when it’s safe for my eyeballs and psyche.”
Belle barked a laugh as Seth left the room and then looked at me with tears in her eyes. “All of this brings up my remorse for you missing out on Seth’s birth, Bobby. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to say I’m sorry enough.”
I stroked her hair then wiped away the tears that started trickling down her cheeks. “The past is the past, baby. All we can do is forgive, forget, and move towards our future. My gratefulness in having you in my life outshines any resentment I might have once had. Haven’t you realized you’ll always be my everything?”
She gave me a watery smile, which quickly faded as the next contraction hit.
The doctor looked up at the both of us. “I’ll tell you when to push, Ms. Roberts, and when I do, you’ll need to keep pushing for a count of ten. The nurses will count it out for you. Get ready…”
Her pants became quicker, and I was not so sure it was from the pain as much as the anticipation of what was to come.
“No matter what I say until I push this kid out, I love you, Bobby.”
Well, that was mighty ominous.
The nurses each picked up one of her legs and braced them against their bodies so the doctor had a clear view of what was going on.
“Push, Ms. Roberts!” the doctor ordered.
Belle grunted as she bore down, her face scrunched up and sweat dotting her brow.
“One, two …” the nurse began counting. By the time she reached ten, Belle was screaming.
“Now rest for a few seconds,” the doctor said absentmindedly as he did something with his hands that I couldn’t see due to the sheet covering Belle’s lap. Being the jealous asshole Belle often accused me of, I was half tempted to move down to make sure he was not doing anything fishy, but then I remembered Lucas’s warning about not looking. I was going to heed my buddy’s advice. If I saw my woman open enough to push out eight pounds of little person, I may never look at her vag the same way again.
“Push again, Ms. Roberts!” the doctor barked.
“One, two …” one of the nurses started counting again.
“Oh, God, that hurts like a mother!” Belle whined.
“Five, six …”
“How big is this damn kid?”
“Nine, ten …”
“Ahhhh! You-slimey-bastard-I’m-going-to-rip-off-your-testicles!” She finished her push, screaming at me so fast that it sounded like all of her words had run together.
Her fingers unclamped from mine, and I quickly switched hands to make sure she hadn’t broken the ones she had been holding.
One of the nurses saw me flexing my fingers and giggled. I frowned at her, but she just rolled her eyes in response.
“Suck it up, Mr. Baker. If she breaks a few of your fingers, so what? You are basically breaking her vagina.”
Belle’s eyes bugged out. “He broke it?” Turning to me, she snarled, “Did you break my damn vagina, you good for nothing walking penis?”
The doctor patted the top of her thigh gently. “There, there, Ms. Baker. You can beat him up later. Here we go! Push!”
The giggling nurse quipped, “One, two, three …”
“I’m going to cut your dick off in your sleep!”
“Four, five, six …”
“You’ll be looking into penile replacement surgery!”
“Seven, eight, nine, ten.”
Belle yanked on my arm, tuggi
ng me down so we were face-to-face. “Where’s a butcher’s knife when I need one!”
I cringed at the imagery of Belle wielding a butcher’s knife. Apparently, my goods understood they were under threat, too, because they practically shriveled up so far they were trying to imitate a turtle hiding in its shell.
Dr. Jerkoff crowed, “We’ve got the head and a head full of hair! Now don’t push; I have to make sure the umbilical cord is free from the baby’s neck. There we are! Good to proceed.”
Collapsing back onto her bed, Belle snapped, “Well, please do give the rest of the kid her eviction notice so my whoo-ha and I can both cry.”
Both nurses snorted yet were already bracing their hands and body to sustain Belle’s next, and hopefully last, push.
“Almost done, Ms. Roberts. Now you’re going to push out her shoulders, and we’ll be in the home stretch. This is the hardest part, so give it all you got. Ready … push!”
“One, two, three, four …”
Belle bore down with everything she had, her face straining with the push. Her groan became another scream, this time sending her head back with the intensity of her yell.
“Five, six, seven, eight …”
Cutting off her wail, she looked at me, and in a low, scary voice, she said, “I’m going to shove a turkey up your ass and make you shit it out so you can understand how bad this hurts.”
“Here we go, Mom. Last push,” the doctor instructed.
Belle gave one last, loud grunt and then toppled back onto the bed as I heard a weird whooshing sound. My eyes were glued to the end of that bed, and for a few seconds, all I could see was the doctor’s body jerking this way and that as he did whatever it was he needed to do, and then it happened.
I fell in love for the third time in my life. With my daughter.
It was just as powerful and soul shaking as when I had fallen in love at first sight with both Belle and our son Seth.
While he doctor held up this little, wrinkly, pink body covered in all kinds of stuff, tears flooded my eyes and my breath whooshed out of me in a great big exhale.
“Come cut the umbilical cord, Daddy.” The nurse held medical scissors out to me.
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