Petra understood the subtext, that Rubio had been through so much too. Petra drifted back into the bedroom to eavesdrop and watch his face, his exaggerated expressions and animated smiles. He looked over and beckoned her with a wave of his hand.
“Come here. Say hi to my mom.”
Petra didn’t want to think too hard about the sentimental thrill she felt at his words. Meeting the parents. Wasn’t that a big relationship step? But they weren’t in that kind of relationship...
She went over by the laptop and Ruby pulled her into his lap so she’d show up on the video chat screen. His mother gave a delighted whoop when she saw her.
“Wave hi,” said Ruby in her ear. “She’s been learning English.”
Petra waved to his mom. “Hi, Mrs. Rubio.” The dark-haired woman looked so much like her son. “How are you?” Petra asked politely.
“Oh, my dear,” said his mom with a heavy accent. “You are dance with my son? Very good, yes?”
Petra nodded. “Yes, he’s a very good dancer. Excellent.”
“He send me pictures,” said Mrs. Rubio, fluttering her fingers. “Very pretty.”
“Thank you. We have fun.”
“Yes, all kinds of fun,” he said, smiling at her in agreement. Petra knew exactly what kind of fun he meant, but she didn’t want to give that away in front of his mother. He turned back to his mom and said some more stuff in Portuguese, and his mom smiled and laughed. Were they talking about her? His mother chattered for some time in response, then Ruby snorted and made some “Aw, mom” kind of sound.
“Nando,” his mother chided. “Juízo, meu filho.” She looked at Petra. “Is good, for love? Yes? To be in love?”
Petra stared at the screen, at the thumbnail of Ruby’s face beside hers. He was blushing all the way through his bronze complexion. “Chega, mãe,” he said sharply.
Mrs. Rubio and her son launched into another rat-a-tat conversation. It ended with his mom speaking English again. “Mar-ried, you two?” she asked, nodding at Petra. “You get mar-ried, if you in love. Is God’s plan.”
“Okay,” said Ruby, making a face at Petra. “Go. Escape now. Go downstairs, okay? I’ll find you later.” He raised an eyebrow. You can finish that blowjob, he meant.
He nudged her off his lap and she fled the room. It was okay. She shouldn’t freak out. All moms were like that, weren’t they? Encouraging their kids to fall in love and marry? Except for her mom, who had decried love and marriage as the world’s biggest crock of shit. Petra took the stairs down to the living room and then turned to go to the kitchen. Liam sat at the counter on his laptop, a notebook and briefcase beside him. When he saw her, he closed the notebook and slid it into his bag. He looked suave, dressed for work in a button-up shirt and tie.
“You’re up early, aren’t you?” he asked. “For a day off?” He was being a little too bright.
She crossed the room to join him. “Rubio says I dance in my sleep. I guess I kicked him and woke him up. He’s upstairs talking with his mom.”
“Can I get you some coffee? Something for breakfast?”
“Coffee sounds great. Thanks.”
She resisted the urge to look at his computer screen when he rose to pour her a steaming cup from their super luxury coffee machine. Everything in their house was luxurious. She’d miss this place when she left it. If she ever left it.
“So...” she said, trying to sound casual. “What’s the latest news on Scary Gary?”
He was silent for a moment. The only sound was the ting of her spoon against the china coffee cup. “It’s not great news,” he finally said. “But it’s nothing we didn’t expect. He’s losing patience with the status quo. He’s making more threats.”
“What kind of threats?”
Again, Liam paused before he spoke. “Unpleasant threats. Just know that we’re doing everything in our power to keep you two safe.”
You two. “He’s making threats against Ruby?”
“I would say he’s mainly angry with Ruby. He blames all this on him.”
Petra stared down into her cup, thinking of the smiling man upstairs talking to his mom, a woman who depended on him for her well-being and livelihood. She thought of his talent, all the joy he brought to the world of dance. Then she pictured his beautiful body broken, stabbed or shot, bleeding in the street. She squeezed her eyes shut against the image.
“Nothing’s going to happen,” Liam said, touching the back of her hand. “It’ll be okay.”
“But what if it’s not? If anything happens to him because—because of me—”
“Petra—”
“I’m kind of in love with him,” she burst out. She stared at Liam, shocked that she’d said it.
He made a soft sound. “We kind of suspected.”
Petra looked down at her lap, twisting her fingers into knots. In love. It sounded so hackneyed. “I don’t know if I love him,” she said, backtracking. “I don’t know what I feel. I can’t figure out if we have a future, if we belong together.”
She fell silent and considered the man beside her. Liam was soft-spoken, kind, obviously protective. He was the typical woman’s idea of perfection: long gold-brown hair, gorgeous eyes, and a ridiculously hot body. On top of all that, he was rich as King Midas. This guy was paying her salary just so his friend could have a great partner onstage. This was the kind of man she ought to be falling for, not Fernando Rubio. Even so, she didn’t feel the slightest attraction to Liam and her heart ached so badly for Rubio and...and what? Damn it.
She put her head in her hands and groaned. “He’s my partner,” she said. “We work together.”
“I can see that throwing a wrench in things.”
“My mother...” Oh, this again. When was she going to stop obsessing about her mother’s mistakes? “When my mother hooked up with her partner, it ended up in a big shitload of suck.”
He made another faint sound, of doubt or perhaps denial. “It ended up with you, didn’t it? I don’t think you’re a big shitload of suck.”
She was going to start crying in a minute, if he didn’t stop using that voice. “Everything is so screwed up,” she said, and then she did start crying. “If he gets hurt— If Paulsen attacks him or k-kills him—”
“Nothing’s going to happen to him.”
“Maybe I should stop dancing. Retire early and move somewhere and just...just live in some cottage by the sea.”
He studied her. “Is that what you want to do? Retire?”
More tears slipped out, not that they helped anything. She swiped them away. “I don’t want to retire, but I don’t want Ruby to get hurt either. I would stop dancing if it would keep him safe. If it would just—just make all this end and go away.”
“If you do that, Paulsen wins,” Liam pointed out. “And you’ve lost everything that makes you happy in life. I don’t think you should retire or go back to New York. Give the system time to work. Paulsen’s threats will expedite things, but it still has to move through the international legal system. It’s slow. I’m sorry.”
“No, please. Don’t be sorry. I know you’re doing everything you can.” She forced herself to stop crying. This guy was busting his ass to help her, putting time in every day. The least she could do was keep her shit together. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all you’re doing. I don’t know how I can ever thank you.”
“You can keep dancing. That would be thanks enough.”
She forced a smile, and found as she met Liam’s gaze that it was genuine. His eyes flicked over her shoulder and she turned to see Rubio standing at the bottom of the stairs. He gestured to her, the merest flick of a finger, but it communicated exactly what he wanted it to communicate. I want. Liam, Paulsen, everything was forgotten except for the command of that beckoning finger.
I want. I want you. I want you, here, now.
She looked back at Liam, who winked and nodded in Ruby’s direction. “Go on. Have fun, you crazy kids. But Ash is sleeping, so try not to make too mu
ch noise.”
*** *** ***
Petra sat at dinner the following night, with Ruby, and Liam and Ashleigh, and a contemplative Mem. She couldn’t stop feeling contemplative herself. You get mar-ried, if you in love. Is God’s plan.
Was it in the plan? Did you have to marry someone you loved? Or was it enough to dance with them, and make art, and enjoy the special moments while they lasted? What was more important to her? The increasing devotion she felt for Rubio, or her career?
She glanced at him over her wine glass. He smiled back at her. It wasn’t his bedroom smile, the sadistic smile that made her quake inside, or his stage smile, which was always a bit fake. It was his happy, natural smile that made him look so charming.
Conversation dropped off by the end of the meal. Liam was uncharacteristically quiet, and Mem lingered even though it was his habit to leave the table once he finished. Ashleigh groaned, easing back in her chair. “I ate too much. This baby doesn’t give me enough space.”
She was in her last trimester now. Petra eyed her rounded stomach as Mem and Liam made sympathetic sounds. Liam looked at Petra and then back at Ashleigh.
Ash held his gaze a moment, then turned to pat her on the shoulder. “Want to head up to the roof with me for some fresh air?”
Hm. Okay.
Petra nodded and went to pull on a light coat. She got the feeling she was being purposely herded away, but she loved the Wilder’s rooftop garden, with its pergolas and benches, and its unimpeded view of the stars. She followed her friend to the elevator tucked into the back of a room adjoining the dining room. Ash fanned herself as the doors closed.
“I’m so hot these days, even though it’s cold out.” She ran a hand over the rise of her stomach. “The baby’s like a heating blanket. Oh, I love this,” she said, touching the sleeve of Petra’s fitted blue coat. “Did you get it back in New York? I miss being able to fit into normal clothes.” She kept up a steady stream of banter until they were up on the roof, relaxing on cushioned chairs. Ash slung an arm over her head, staring at the night sky.
“The cool air feels good,” she said with a sigh. “Thanks for keeping me company.”
Petra gave her friend a sideways glance. “I guess they’re talking about Paulsen down there?”
For a moment, she looked like she might try to come up with a lie, but then she shrugged. “Probably. Yes. They’re in court with him this week.”
“With Paulsen? Don’t I have to be there for that?”
Ashleigh picked at the edge of her cushion. “I don’t think so. It’s best if you aren’t there. It will only feed his obsession. Liam doesn’t tell me everything, but I know they’ve collected a boatload of evidence to prove he’s a threat to you. Emails, letters, photos. The lawyers will take care of it.”
Petra crossed her arms tightly over her chest. A boatload of evidence, of which she’d seen nothing. “We just talked yesterday,” she said, “and Liam didn’t bring up anything about Paulsen and going to court.”
“He doesn’t want to burden you with it. I think he also doesn’t want to get your hopes up that this court date will solve anything.” She reached out to touch Petra’s hand. “Try not to be annoyed with him. He’s very protective, especially to women. Well, he’s protective to everyone, but when it comes to women and children, he gets kind of nuts.”
“That’s sweet,” said Petra. “He must make you feel very safe.”
Ashleigh laughed. “Sometimes. But other times, like down in the play room, I don’t feel safe at all.”
“You mean, in a good way?” Petra clarified.
“Oh yeah. A very good way. We have a lot of fun down there.”
Petra was extremely curious about Ash and Liam’s thing. They seemed so connected, so in love, even though they were completely different on the surface. For starters, Liam was a big, muscular man, even bigger than Rubio, while Ashleigh was pale and petite. Liam was brainy and social while Ash was more fluttery and shy. She knew they hung out down in the play room all the time, even in Ash’s pregnant state. “So, were you already into that BDSM stuff when you met Liam?” she asked.
“Oh God, no.” Ashleigh covered her face and peeked at her from behind her fingers. “I was traumatized when I realized that was his ‘thing.’ I ended up at one of his Saturday night parties by mistake and...” She paused. “Let’s just say it was eye-opening. Me and Liam had some hard times starting out, a lot of secrets we had to pry out of each other, but it makes all this sweeter, you know? I trust him with everything. My heart, my love, my life. And BDSM is really fun with someone you trust, with someone protective. I mean, you would know. Rubio’s really careful, isn’t he? He plays like he dances. He pushes his partners’ boundaries but always keeps them safe.”
Petra nodded. “He’s great to play with.”
For long minutes the two women relaxed side by side, listening to the nighttime city noise, then Ash massaged her rounded bump. “Be nice, baby girl.”
“She’s kicking you?”
“Yeah. Liam says she’s going to be a dancer.” Both of them laughed at that. “I complain all the time,” Ashleigh said, “but I love being pregnant. I think Liam loves it less. He’s been insufferable, hovering and worrying about me. In a way, your problems are a blessing, because tracking Paulsen provides some other outlet for his nervous energy. Not that I’m happy you’re being stalked.”
“Oh, I know.”
“It’s just...” She bit her lip before she spoke again. “This pregnancy has been really hard for him, and it seems to be getting harder the closer we come to the end.”
“The baby’s due in February?”
“Yeah, just a couple more months. I mean, Liam has his reasons for all this anxiety. Has Rubio told you anything about Liam’s past?”
“Not really.”
“You’re probably too young to remember this, but did you ever hear that story about the welfare mom in L.A. who got postpartum depression and shot all her kids? Well, not all her kids. All but one.” Ash squeezed her hands together, then smoothed them over her belly. “All but Liam. He was twelve at the time.”
Petra stared at her in shock. Liam? Calm, polished, well-spoken Liam? “Oh my God,” she breathed.
“Yeah. So you can imagine he has some anxieties about this pregnancy, and being responsible for such a vulnerable, fragile baby. He’s still resisting it, in some way.”
“What do you mean, resisting?”
“I mean, he’s supportive. He does everything I ask. He’s spoiled me rotten through this whole pregnancy but...I don’t know. I don’t get the feeling he’s excited about the baby. Like, genuinely excited. It’s more like an act he’s putting on to make me happy.” She turned away from Petra, staring off into the distance. “Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed the baby thing.”
“Oh, Ash. He’ll come around. I can’t imagine someone like Liam being a distant father. As soon as he holds that little girl in his arms, he’ll fall head over heels in love. My mother was miserable and angry throughout her entire pregnancy, but she says the moment she held me in her arms, everything changed. Babies are magic like that.”
Ashleigh pressed her fingers into the corners of her eyes.
“Go ahead,” said Petra. “You can cry in front of me. I cried in front of Liam yesterday. We seem to be cool like that.”
Ashleigh giggled and wiped at a stray tear. “I don’t want to cry though. I want to be happy. I know he’ll be a good father. He’ll be a responsible father if only to support me. But if he can’t be close to the baby... Oh, God, how will the baby feel, if she thinks her father doesn’t love her?”
Petra drew her knees up, hugging them to her chest. “I know how she’ll feel. She’ll try really hard to be perfect. She’ll try to earn his love by being as amazing and wonderful as possible...” She gave Ash a crooked smile. “I have some experience in this area.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot about the Grigolyuk thing.”
“I don’t think Liam could ever
be as cold as my father. I know he couldn’t, but even if he was, I turned out okay. Mostly. I think.”
Ashleigh smiled and squeezed her hand. “You turned out great. You’re an amazing person, with or without your father. Grigolyuk is an ass. His art has always been all about technique, no heart. Didn’t it make it awkward for you two, whenever you crossed paths in the business?”
Petra shrugged. “We never crossed paths. I think I was nine or ten years old when I realized he was actively avoiding me. If I knew he’d be at a performance or class, I’d try my damndest to get an invitation, and he wouldn’t show up. Or he’d show up and leave as soon as he realized I was there.”
“Oh, God. I can’t imagine.”
“It made my mother furious. It seemed like she spent her whole life furious and unhappy, all because of my dad. I guess that’s why I’ve been so conflicted about Rubio, about starting up a relationship with him.”
Ashleigh gave her a puzzled look. “What does Rubio have to do with your dad?”
“Everyone calls him this generation’s Grigolyuk.”
“Yeah, in sex appeal and talent, but...” Ash made a face. “Rubio’s no Grigolyuk. He has a heart like a steel trap. Once you’re in there, you’re never getting out. The day he found out I wasn’t going to dance with him anymore, he came storming over here and lit into me. Literally bitched me out and made me cry. The next day he sent flowers with this note...my God. Talk about crying. It was about the good times we’d had together, and our best moments on stage, and how he knew I’d be the best mother in the history of the world—and I know he wrote it because his handwriting’s awful and he writes just the way he speaks.” She was blinking back tears again. “He thought I wouldn’t be his friend anymore. Like that would have been possible. I’ll keep that note until I die. I was glad for him when you came along. I like you two together. You’re a good fit.”
“Do you ever miss ballet?” Petra asked.
“Of course I miss it,” Ash said with a shrug. “But back when I was dancing, I wanted all the things I have now. So when I miss the dancing, I remind myself how much I wanted love, and home, and family, and then the sadness goes away. Sometimes when I see you dancing with Rubio I miss ballet so desperately I almost start bawling, but then Liam takes my hand, or the baby moves inside me, and I know I wouldn’t trade my life for anything.”
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