“HONEY.” She batted a hand behind her like she was beckoning more family. “TATUM BROUGHT HER MAN!”
Slater and I both got out of the car.
Nadine engulfed me in a tight hug that popped at least three vertebrae back into place and then pulled away, her talons digging into my arms. She was wearing a white pantsuit, tall red heels, and was sporting matching red lips. She’d taken to wearing hats when her hair started thinning, and this one was black, tilted to the side, and could probably be a planet if given a chance.
“How’s that bastard of a father you have?” She grinned, a bit of lipstick smudged her scary white front tooth. “And don’t get me started on Karen, she’s the definition of a Karen, did you know? I think the name cursed her.”
“Probably.” I grinned. “But let’s not talk about that drama.”
“I heard we have other drama,” Her eyebrows shot up, and then she turned her attention to Slater. “You the man getting in her pants?”
“Uh…” Slater’s gaze darted to mine then back to Nadine’s. “If I answer honestly, are you going to use me as target practice?”
“Oh, don’t be silly,” she scoffed with a wave. “I reserve that honor for the pool boy. Love watching his lean legs darting back and forth, back and forth—he wears a speedo, you know.”
“Fascinating.” Slater burst out laughing. “And yes, I’m Tatum’s boyfriend.”
“Oh, so it’s serious! Finn will be so relieved! He thought you just wanted her parts!”
“Am I a used car?” I wondered out loud.
“Oh posh!” Nadine waved at me. “All right, let’s go make the introductions, and Slater, if I were you, I’d stand behind someone or something sturdy, I noticed a shotgun was missing out of the safe and well, our Finn isn’t the most levelheaded. He’s chased off guys before.”
“Boys,” I clarified. “And he’s not going to shoot you…”
Slater exhaled in relief.
“But, I mean, he may shoot next to you.”
“What?” Slater shrieked.
“Keep up!” Nadine’s heels clicked against the black marble floor as she led us into the large dining room. Dominating the room was a massive table that had been flown in from France.
It could seat up to forty people.
Finn was sitting next to my cousin Jake at the end. Jake’s wife Char Lynn was busy getting chicken nuggets settled on her kids’ plates.
It was only us in that massive dining room, and yet it still felt too small.
“Finn.” I took a tentative step toward him as he slowly stood. When he didn’t run in the opposite direction, I imagined I was safe. When I was finally in front of him, he stared me down for a few awkward seconds. “Finn?”
He had something behind his back.
Meaning he hugged me with one arm and then turned his gaze toward Slater. “Name your second.”
“Finn!”
Slater’s jaw dropped. “Did you—did you just challenge me to a fucking duel?”
“Swear jar!” Both of the kids grinned up at him, then repeated the F-word about ten times before Jake finally got them under control.
“Yeah,” Finn pulled a pistol that looked older than the table out from his back and held it calmly at his side.
Irritation and shock wrinkled Slater’s face. “I’m not going to fight you!”
“Well, it’s not very sporting of me to just shoot at you while you run your ass out that door. So, name your second. I am fair, after all.”
“Finn, stop it!” My voice came out far too shrill.
“Nadine.” Slater crossed his arms. “She’s probably a crack shot anyway.”
“I’m honored.” Nadine started tearing up. “Why, I even have a set of dueling pistols given to me by the King of Norway.”
“They still have royalty in Norway?” Jake wondered out loud.
“Not now, Jake,” Char hissed, “Can’t you see it’s a lovers’ quarrel?“
“The hell?” Finn’s façade cracked. “I’m not in love with my own sister!”
“That’s illegal,” Nadine said helpfully while I groaned into my hands. Worst dinner ever. “What? It is!”
Slater held up his hands in surrender. “Finn, I don’t want to fight you, I also don’t want you shooting at me.”
“Too late.” Finn held up the gun, and straight-up fired it to the right of where Slater stood.
“THE HELL!” Slater roared. “What’s WRONG with you?”
“You promised! You broke your promise!”
“I tried not to!” Slater roared. “Don’t you think I tried?”
Finn narrowed his stony gaze. “You should have tried harder!”
Slater threw his hands in the air. “That’s the damn problem, Finn! When you know, you know. It’s corny, I get it, but it’s pretty fucking hard to stay away from someone you’re falling in love with!”
I gasped.
Nadine started clapping, then reached for a bottle of wine in the center of the table and started pouring heavily into crystal glasses.
Jake and Char looked like they wanted popcorn, and the kids were shoving chicken nuggets up their noses.
“What did you say?” Finn held up the pistol.
Slater stared it down, and his words came out smooth and low, filled with quiet conviction. “I’m falling in love with her.”
“Oh, Slater…” Tears welled in my eyes as I made my way over to him. “I’m falling in love with you too.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner,” Slater whispered, cupping my face and then claiming my mouth in front of my entire family.
“Using her as a human shield,” Jake called from one end of the table. “Solid choice.”
That earned him a smack in the head from his wife while she grinned at us.
And then Finn did the craziest thing, he burst out laughing.
Laughing!
Slater and I broke apart.
I narrowed my eyes in on my brother. “Have you finally lost it? Lost your mind? Do we need to call a doctor?”
He sat the gun on the table and then did a little bow. “I really should have gone to Hollywood.”
“Truth.” Jake gave him a fist bump while I gaped.
“Wine for everyone!” Nadine started passing out glasses like she had known it was going to be fine all along.
“Explain.” I glared at Finn. “Now!”
“I knew.” He took a gulp of wine and winked. “You do realize that every single message you guys exchange through the app can be seen by an admin, right?”
Slater winced. “How many admins we got?”
“Oh, you know.” Finn grinned. “Me, Knox, Leo, Ian, Lex…”
Slater turned and started banging his forehead against the wall. “So, all of you have basically known since we started up again?”
“It showed us that we had a re-enroll, and Leo got curious. He knew first, by the way. That’s why he invited you guys to dinner, to scope out if he should kill you or just tell me…” Finn shrugged. “I went to Wingmen corporate two days ago so that they could help me come up with a plan of action—I knew it was killing you guys, but I also knew you’d get sloppy, and wonder of all wonders, you make up the best story about shitting your pants.”
“I did not say I shit my pants,” Slater clarified. “I said I was… going… to.” He made a face.
I patted him on the shoulder.
“That was the best excuse you could come up with?” Nadine’s face twisted into a disgusted grimace as she gave an exaggerated shudder. “That you had the craps?” She sipped her wine. “Why not just say you needed to run to the store and grab milk?” She shrugged and sipped again.
Slater shook his head. “Bested by a ninety-year-old.”
“Nothing sexy about crapping.” She nodded solemnly.
“That’s what I said!”
“Not helping,” Slater elbowed me.
“Sorry.” I grinned and turned back to Finn. “So, you’re really not mad?”
<
br /> “Oh, I was pissed at first. But I figured a little test would tell me all I needed to know.”
“And?” Slater took a step toward him. “Did I pass?”
“Yeah, best friend.” He held out his hand. “You did.”
Slater shook his hand and then pulled him in for a hug.
“Wedding time!” Nadine shouted.
I jumped and nearly spilled my wine all over her white pantsuit.
“Um…” I laughed awkwardly. “Maybe let us date first.”
“Okay.” She winked at me like we had a secret.
There would be no stopping her.
It was probably best to just let her do whatever she wanted, which meant if I was trying on wedding dresses in a few days—I’d just own it and apologize to a petrified looking Slater later.
Except, he didn’t look upset.
He looked… in love.
A happy sigh slipped out.
“Good job on that one, honey,” Nadine whispered while Finn and Slater talked on the other side of the table. “Has an ass made for heavy lifting.”
“Er, yes.” I stared at his ass. “I guess so?”
“Has he done it?”
“Done what?”
“Where they lift you by the ass and toss you against something then just… caveman all over you?”
“Um—”
“You should role-play. He definitely has the look of a man who knows his way around a thick rope.”
Flames licked at my face. “Maybe we should start dinner?”
“Mmmmm, those thighs could crack a walnut in two. Reminds me of farmer Steve, never really did know his last name, but the things he could do with his big toe—”
“DINNER TIME!” I shouted, earning the attention of everyone, including the kiddos who just grinned at me like I was their favorite—which, duh, I had to be.
“You’re no fun.” Nadine grinned and then pulled me in for a hug. “Know that I’ll always be here for you, peanut, all right?”
Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m so mad at them still.”
“Family…” She put her finger under my chin. “…is what you make it. Blood or no blood, you choose who you surround yourself with—now take a look around you, my dear—you’re surrounded by love.”
“I needed that.”
“And I need you. Always.” She sighed. “I’m off to find a bottle of champagne. Tonight, we celebrate! One down, one to go!”
“One down?” I frowned.
“One to go!” She pointed at Finn. “He’s gonna be a tough one, but I’ve already been having some lovely chats with Ian and Lex—I was an early investor, you know.”
“No, I didn’t, but it doesn’t surprise me.”
“How else do you think Finn got in on such a lucrative business? Pleasure Ponies, my ass. They don’t even realize I wrote the manual. Don’t have too much fun while I’m in the kitchen.”
The entire room had gone silent.
“Did you know that?” I asked to no one specifically.
“I knew we were early investors.” Jake cleared his throat. “But as far as Nadine goes, it’s oftentimes just best to let her come clean when she has the biggest audience or shock value, like today.”
“Terrifying.” Finn shuddered.
“You have no idea,” Jake muttered under his breath. “She lives with me.”
“In a guest house that’s the size of most hotels,” I pointed out.
“Not nearly far enough away,” Jake whispered.
“Heard that!” Nadine said as she returned, champagne bottle in hand. “All right, Slater, you do the honors, pop that cork hard!”
Slater shook his head. “Words I’ve never heard a ninety-two-year-old utter, and yet it’s so wrong it feels right.”
“My motto.” Nadine winked. “Now be a dear and make that champagne your bitch.”
He popped open the champagne.
And by the time the night ended, my face hurt from laughing so hard. It was everything I needed.
And I knew, in the end, Nadine was right.
I had my brother.
I had Slater.
My cousins.
And a terrifying aunt.
All was well in the world when she was ruling—and the world was a better place when they just let her do her thing.
Epilogue
Slater
“You know,” I was possibly a bit drunk from all the champagne and wine mixing, but I didn’t care, I was holding Tatum’s hand in front of Finn, and I was still alive!
Everyone had scattered around the house. The kids were in bed, the parents were reading to them.
And since we’d all had a lot of alcohol to celebrate my not death—we were going to spend the night. Finn had gone in search of more champagne like we needed it, and I was suddenly convinced that the best idea I’d ever had was to get naked with Tatum.
“You’re out of control.” Tatum laughed and then grabbed my hand and led me down a large hall, hell they were all large halls.
My glass was nearly empty as we stumbled blindly into a large dark room. She flicked the lights on.
“Holy shit.” I set my glass down on the nearest table and did a small circle. “Does that bed have… mirrors?”
“Another gift from some foreign prince or something,” Tatum rolled her eyes. “Aunt Nadine really does have the best stories.”
“I feel like we should send him a thank you note.” I grinned, ready to strip her bare on that bed. “Or at least flowers.”
“Eh, I’m pretty sure Nadine took care of that.” She winked and then pulled her white sweater over her head and dropped it to the floor. “So, you wanna—”
I didn’t let her finish her sentence as I scooped her up into my arms and slammed my mouth against hers, only coming up for air long enough to murmur her name as she made quick work of my pants shoving them to my ankles.
We stumbled toward the bed.
“I meant it,” I whispered reverently against her neck. “I’m falling in love with you.”
“Good,” She kissed me softly on the mouth. “Because if you weren’t, Finn would have killed you.”
“Are you saying I’m a bad shot?”
“I’m saying he used to be on a sharpshooter team in high school.”
I gaped. “All these years, and he never told me?”
She rolled her eyes. “You guys aren’t married, stop pouting and kiss me!”
So, I did.
Again, and again.
And when my lips felt bruised by hers, when my fingers couldn’t grab on to enough skin—the door swung open.
“Found more cham—”
Finn stopped talking.
Tatum squeezed her eyes shut like that would help her disappear; at least we’d had enough sense to pull a sheet over us before going at it.
“MY EYES!” Finn shouted. “I CAN’T SEE!”
“He can’t unsee.” I joked, then shut up when Tatum gave me a pained expression.
“My baby sister is making babies!” Finn shouted even louder.
“THERE ARE NO BABIES!” I matched his tone, earning the attention of someone else who barged into the room.
Of course.
Nadine.
She took one look at us and grinned. “Tatum, honey, don’t forget to show him how the strobe lights work.”
And with that, she grabbed Finn by the ear and led him out, shutting the door behind her.
“What just happened?” I asked the universe.
“You’ll forget all about that the minute the strobe lights are on.” Tatum giggled, and then I forgot about being caught.
I forgot about everything except our bodies joining beneath the weirdest mirror bed ever, and the strobe lights that seemed to mimic each passionate movement.
“I’m falling for you too.” She whispered her body tightening, sucking me in and keeping me there.
I kissed her, knowing she was close and then held her tight as her body pulsed around me. “Good.”
/> Falling in love with your best friend’s sister, probably not the wisest thing I’d ever done—but definitely, the best thing that could have ever happened.
Strobe lights and mirror bed.
Included.
If you need to talk to someone, here are some resources that are available all day, every day.
Please know you are not alone.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress
Telephone: 1-800-273-8255
For Deaf & Hard of Hearing: 1-800-799-4889
Online chat: suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Want More Pleasure Ponies?
Don’t miss the Bro Code novels.
Each featuring a different member of the Pleasure Ponies!
Knox, Leo, Finn, and Slater are waiting, and they aren't patient men.
CO-ED
My roommate calls them the Pleasure Ponies.
But the rest of the college campus?
They just call them the new face of Wingmen Inc. A paid for relationship service that makes big promises.
Breakup? They'll glue you back together again.
Depressed? They have the magic pill.
Lonely? Just spend a few minutes while they rub you down and you'll forget all about it.
And broken hearts? Well, that's their specialty. They'll fix you.
For a price…
I swore I wouldn't get involved.
But one holds my attention above the rest.
Knox Tate looks like a Viking — and getting pillaged is starting to look more appealing by the day. Though he's hiding something — all of them are. And the closer I get. The more I realize that some things are left better in the past.
Welcome to the new face of Wingmen Inc — You're welcome.
Purchase Co-Ed HERE
SEDUCING MRS. ROBINSON
We've all been there, some more than others, you know what I'm talking about, where you have the hots for the new business teacher.
She looks at me like I'm trouble, and I'm only happy to deliver on that promise. I'm going to show her how a real man treats a woman and use every weapon in my Pleasure Pony arsenal to do it.
Avoiding Temptation Page 12