by Ali Olson
In answer, Amy put her hand on the back of Jack’s neck and guided his lips back to hers. She seemed to almost be pleading for his attentions, as if she needed him right at that moment, and he could do nothing but oblige. He was sure she could feel his own eagerness for the connection he’d been missing for so long.
Everything about them being together was familiar and comfortable, yet new in surprising ways, and afterward they lay together on a makeshift bed of horse blankets.
Jack wanted to say something, but what was there to say? It had all been said already, everything except I still love you, and he wasn’t ready to say that yet. The fear that she would leave all over again was still strong inside him.
Amy sat up, and Jack looked at her carefully. She seemed worried. Remorseful, maybe?
“I think the rain’s stopped, and it’s late,” she said.
Jack sat up, too. Was that really how they were going to end this night—it’s getting late, see you later? It seemed that she regretted how quickly things had progressed now that it was over, and the thought sent a pang through his heart.
After all, to him they were just continuing from where they’d been a decade ago, however much he tried to pretend this was a first date. He couldn’t regret one bit of what they’d done, except if it hurt her, somehow.
They gathered their clothes in silence and dressed, then made their way through the inky darkness to his truck. Once they started on the road, though, Jack knew their night couldn’t end like this. He wanted her to know that he didn’t consider what had happened as just some fling in the barn. He may still have lingering worries about her disappearing again, but that wasn’t going to stop him from pursuing some sort of relationship with her.
“What are you doing tomorrow? I was thinking we could take Maverick out for a ride. Maybe you can help me practice my roping skills if you’re up for it. I need to keep sharp if I’m going to find a good partner,” he said.
“I haven’t competed in so long,” Amy said wistfully.
“You were wonderful, you know. And some things are like riding a bike,” he told her, only partly talking about horse-riding.
“That’s true,” she answered in a quiet murmur, and he saw out of the corner of his eye that she was smiling, but it didn’t completely erase the lines of worry on her forehead. He wished that he could read her thoughts.
“I’m sure Ma has a big Sunday dinner thing planned for tomorrow,” she said.
“Celebrating the prodigal daughter’s return?” Jack asked, trying not to be too disappointed.
“Something like that,” Amy responded. “Jose and Diego will be coming into town and everything.”
Before Jack could suggest another time to meet, Amy added, “But I can be free for a while in the morning, if that’s okay,” saying it all in a rush, as if it was against her better judgment.
“Sounds great,” he answered quickly, in case she might try to take back what she’d said.
He was already looking forward to the time when they’d see each other again.
* * *
AMY LAY IN bed later that night, staring at the ceiling, berating herself over all the rash decisions she’d made that evening and wishing she could go back and change them. She knew, though, that if she had the chance, she would do it all again. Her skin still tingled from Jack’s touch.
Even though it was past two in the morning, Amy felt wide-awake. There were too many thoughts swirling around in her head for her to even consider sleeping. Was she just going to pick things up with Jack right where they left off a decade ago, despite everything that had changed? Is that what he wanted? Is that what she wanted? Even if it was, would that be enough?
She knew they shouldn’t have slept together so soon, while Armand’s shadow still loomed so strongly. Still, she couldn’t regret it. Jack was such a comforting presence, and her body had begged for comfort. His touch erased some of the shame and guilt she’d felt the past few days, even if it added a little more in the process. After all, he deserved to know everything about her last few weeks in Morocco before she jumped into bed with him. And she resolved to not let it happen again until they had a long, honest conversation.
Finally Amy couldn’t take it anymore. She needed to talk out her thoughts, and she knew who she needed to turn to for guidance.
“Morning, Queen Bee,” Amy said softly as the horse snorted a greeting to her.
Amy felt a little bad about turning on the barn’s light and disturbing the horses trying to sleep, but she needed to speak her mind or she’d go crazy.
Luckily, Queen Bee seemed to understand, because she nuzzled Amy’s shoulder affectionately. Amy stroked the animal’s neck, feeling comforted. This animal seemed like just the one to listen to the thoughts bouncing around in her brain. “I’m feeling lost right now, Q.B.,” Amy started. “I just want to put Armand behind me and enjoy my time here, but I can’t seem to. Not yet, anyway. And now there’s so much to consider about Jack and me. I mean, I don’t know what I want for us, or what’s even feasible. Closure? A fresh start? To pick things up where we left off? It’s...confusing, to say the least.”
Queen Bee tossed her head. “You agree, huh?” Amy said, hugging the horse’s neck. “If we try to start a relationship, is it just going to be a do-over of our past? I’m not sure that’s even possible, with all that’s happened. I’ve changed too much for that, I think. Or maybe I haven’t, you know? Do I really need to hop on planes all the time to make a few bucks? I’m sure I could find a job writing articles right here in Spring Valley.”
The large animal tossed her head again and snorted. Amy nodded. “You’re right. I’d go crazy staying in Spring Valley for the rest of my life. Heck, I’ve only been here for two days and already I’m having conversations with horses. As much as I love it here, I’d probably go all Yellow Wallpaper in a few months.”
Queen Bee tilted her head and stared at Amy, who gave an exaggerated sigh. “It’s a story, Q.B. A famous one. Really, you should read more literature.”
Amy laughed and sat down on a bench across from Queen Bee’s stall. “I can’t tell you how glad I am that you’re a horse and can’t tell anyone how insane I am, Q.B.”
“Yeah, but if one of your brothers happened to drive home in the middle of the night and go out to the barn to investigate the light on there, you could be in trouble,” a voice said from behind Amy, nearly giving her a heart attack.
She stood and spun to find one of her twin brothers standing not ten feet from her. “Diego, you scared me!” she admonished.
Even though her brothers were identical twins, she was sure she was speaking to Diego. Jose would have come roaring in with a big grin and a teasing laugh, not the quiet smile and kind eyes Diego always employed. As if to reinforce the difference, Diego sat beside his adopted sister and wrapped an arm around her. “Just be glad Jose’s not showing up until midday tomorrow. He would have teased you mercilessly, then told everyone, just to round things out nicely.”
Amy put her head on Diego’s shoulder. “Yeah, he would. Thanks for not being a jackass.”
Diego shrugged. “He’s just getting through life the best way he knows how. Things haven’t always been easy for him, you know.”
Amy nodded, though her mind wasn’t able to focus much on Jose and his problems, which she frankly doubted even existed. He was always the joker, the funny man. The life of every party, flitting from one thing to the next with the good luck of the lighthearted and carefree. She couldn’t imagine what types of problems he could possibly have.
“So, do you want to talk about it?” Diego asked after a minute of silence.
“It depends. How much did you hear?”
“Not much, just the part about you going crazy if you move here for good. Is that suddenly a possibility?”
“Well,” Amy started, not sure what her answer would be. “No, it’s not. One date with my
high school sweetheart can’t change who I am—”
“You mean Jack Stuart?” Diego cut in, sounding surprised. “Are you two getting back together?”
Amy had forgotten that Diego and Jose, being a year younger, had still been home during her senior year. Diego at least was observant enough to notice how serious their relationship had been.
Amy put her head in her hands. “That’s just it. I don’t know. We only had one date, but it already feels serious, and I’m not ready for that.”
There’s still so much unsaid between us, she thought.
Diego squeezed her shoulders. “Hey, you don’t need to make any big decisions if you don’t want to. Just because you two dated a decade ago doesn’t mean you have to start at square ten instead of square one.”
Amy nodded. She knew all that, and Jack had said the same thing. So why was her mind insisting she make it so significant?
Because it didn’t feel like they were at square one. Certainly not after what had happened between them just a few hours before.
But that didn’t mean she couldn’t slow things down and enjoy whatever it was they had without putting a label on it.
“Thanks, Diego,” Amy said, standing. “I better get to bed. Jack and I are going to go riding in the morning.”
Diego stood, too. “Just do me one favor—if you need advice, avoid getting it from horses. They’re all a bunch of neigh-sayers,” he said, giving Amy a big smile at his terrible pun.
Amy rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should leave the jokes to Jose.”
Diego shrugged. “Fair enough.”
Together they walked to the house to get some much-needed sleep.
Chapter Five
The next morning, Jack awoke at the crack of dawn, excited to spend the morning with Amy even though he’d brought her home past midnight and he wasn’t expecting her to arrive for at least three hours.
Everyone else in the house was still asleep, enjoying their long, restful Sunday morning, so Jack crept quietly out of the house and down to the barn. Once there, he groomed Maverick until his coat shone, talking to him all the while. “Okay, boy, you treat Amy right, you hear? She’s special, and I expect you to be on your best behavior.”
Maverick tossed his head impatiently, and Jack chuckled. “Fine, fine. You know what to do. I’ll stop beating a dead...well, you know,” he finished, trying to spare the animal the insensitive idiom.
“Oh, and last thing,” Jack said, looking Maverick straight in the eye. “Don’t let her know I spend so much time talking to horses. I don’t want her to think I’ve gone crazy since high school.”
Maverick dipped his head in what was an unmistakable nod and Jack patted his neck. “Thanks, boy,” he said.
Once Maverick and Benny, Jack’s favorite horse, were ready for riding, Jack went about the other chores of the ranch, desperate to keep himself occupied until Amy arrived. He mucked out the stalls, despite the thorough cleaning he’d given them the day before, fed the horses and prepared the paddock for roping practice.
After everything was done to perfection, Jack glanced at the time on his phone and groaned. It had hardly passed seven thirty in the morning.
What was he supposed to do for the next hour and a half? If he kept up at this pace, soon he would need to start breaking things around the ranch just so he’d have something to fix while he waited for Amy.
Even though it was a cool morning, Jack could feel sweat drying on the back of his neck, smell hay and horse on his skin, and he brightened a little. At least it was still early enough that he could take a shower before seeing Amy.
Jack went inside through the kitchen door of the old ranch house intending to cut through to the bathroom, only to find his brother Tom at the stove.
“I didn’t figure you’d be out and about yet,” Jack commented.
Tom seemed just as surprised. “What’ve you been up to so early this morning?”
Jack shrugged, trying to seem cool and relaxed. “Amy’s coming over for some roping practice, so I was getting everything ready.”
Tom seemed about to ask more questions, but then apparently decided against it and went back to cooking. Jack was grateful to have his brother’s penetrating gaze off him. “Well, I’m making plenty of food, so sit and have something. And after that, since you’re up so early, you can help me muck stalls.”
“Already done,” Jack said, earning another curious glance from his brother. “What? I couldn’t sleep, so I thought it would be nice to take care of a few things around here. You don’t always need to be on the hook for everything.”
Unfortunately, Tom didn’t take the bait. He just raised his eyebrow further. “It’s just surprising you have so much energy this morning, after how late you got home last night. That must’ve been some date.”
Jack blushed a little and picked up his fork as Tom set a plate of eggs in front of him. “It went well,” he said, trying not to picture the escapade in the barn in case Tom also acquired mind-reading abilities when he became so insightful and learned how to cook.
“Well,” Tom said, sighing, “I’m happy you’re having a good time.”
Jack looked at his brother as he chewed his breakfast. When, exactly, did Tom stop being happy? Was it when he took over the ranch duties and started to see the bills stacking up, or when their dad died a year ago? Or had he gone sour even before then?
Whichever it was, Jack knew he should talk to his brother and try to find a way to make his life better. He’d sacrificed so much so Jack could live his life on the circuit and their mom could stay put on the ranch she’d owned her entire adult life.
Jack looked at his phone and cursed quietly. If he hoped to get a shower before Amy arrived, a heart-to-heart with Tom would need to wait. Under the time display was a new text from Amy:
Hope it’s okay if I head over now. Excited to try my hand at roping again!
Jack sent her a quick reply and rushed off to the shower, leaving Tom alone at the table, smiling slightly at his older brother’s disappearing form and determined to speak with him soon.
Washed and dressed, Jack hurried into the living room just as a truck pulled into the driveway. He didn’t recognize the vehicle, but he certainly recognized the driver. Amy, her hair tied back and her cowboy hat on her head, looked as lovely as ever.
She may not feel like she belongs here, he thought, but she is Texas through and through.
* * *
AMY STEPPED OUT of Diego’s truck carefully and looked up to see Jack standing in the front window of the sprawling ranch house, watching her. Her stomach gave a twist of excitement.
Despite the lack of sleep, she’d woken up early, unable to rest when she knew she’d be seeing Jack again so soon. She’d waited as long as she could until, feeling too impatient to wait any longer, she asked to borrow Diego’s keys. He handed them over with nothing more than a smile and a reminder to be home by noon or face the wrath of Ma, and she was once again grateful that Diego, not Jose, had been the one to come home during the night.
Jack opened the door as she walked up the steps, and Amy could see he had just showered. He probably had to rush into the shower when she sent her text, and she wished she’d been more patient. Heck, she might’ve even woken him up. It was Sunday morning, after all, and they’d been up late the night before. “Sorry about getting here so early,” she began, but he waved her apology aside.
“I’ve been up for a while,” he said, running a hand through his damp hair. “Just needed a quick rinse after mucking out the stalls.”
Amy made a face. She’d done that job enough times to know that a rinse afterward was more than welcome. He nodded his agreement and ushered her into the house. Amy looked around the living room, with its antique furniture and flowered wallpaper, and for a moment she felt seventeen again, coming over to visit with Jack and his family right afte
r they’d started dating.
“Not much changes around here, huh?” Jack said, following her gaze.
Amy nodded but couldn’t find the right words to say. She felt panic rise in her for a moment before she reminded herself that an unchanged living room couldn’t suddenly suck her into the past, where she and Jack were practically engaged.
Luckily, Jack’s brother walked in, and the erased years came flying back. He looked more than a decade older, careworn, with an air of anxiety about him. He smiled and held out his hand, grasping hers tight. “Amy. It’s so good to see you. Would you like some breakfast?”
Before she could politely decline, her stomach grumbled. Tom nodded. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, leading her into the kitchen.
She and Jack sat beside each other at the table as Tom fixed her a plate of eggs and sausage. Jack already had a plate still half-filled with food, but he waited until she had her own before he resumed eating.
Amy put a forkful in her mouth and savored the flavor of eggs, bell peppers and cheese. If nothing else, Texas had great food.
As she ate, Amy kept her eyes on Tom—her conflicting feelings about Jack made Tom a much easier target for her attention, and his behavior gave her something to think about. While perfectly warm and friendly, he also seemed distant in a way. As if his thoughts were somewhere else.
“So Tom,” she said, breaking the silence. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. What are you up to these days?”
Even though neither of the men moved, Amy could feel a shift in the air, as if they’d both stiffened.
“Not much. Just taking care of the ranch,” he said.
Amy was no expert, but that didn’t sound like his idea of a dream job from the way he said it.
“How about you? Brock told me you’ve been traveling all over the world,” Tom said.
Amy nodded, forcing herself not to slide her gaze over to Jack. Did he and his brother ever talk about anything? If he was hearing about stuff like that from Brock, it seemed not.
Though maybe she’d been such a sore spot in Jack’s life that he didn’t talk about her. That thought brought with it the sour feeling of guilt, and she turned her attention back to Tom.